Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Revenge for Matthew Clemmens? This reporter thinks so.


Last night, a Philadelphia police officer tasered a teen that ran onto the field. The Philadelphia police comissioner is "publicly supporting the officer's actions."

You can check out the video and article here.

But you won't find any mention of the Matthew Clemmens incident in that article . . .

G:TB: we connect the dots.

83 comments:

zman said...

People taser each other all the time at Yankee games, with such frequency, in fact, that no one bothers to report it.

Mark said...

I tased myself earlier today, if you know what I mean.

Dan said...

zman stole my line.
i tased myself too mark, while building a mid-major.

Dan said...

and am i the only ruh-TARD that can't get the video to play? it no play on deadspin either.

TJ said...

Don't tase me bro...

zman said...

I washed my cats but there was no tasing.

zman said...

Daniel-san, check for the new flash plugin or something like that.

TJ said...

Dan's abacus doesn't go back that far.

Dan said...

don't hate the taser...hate the game.

does anyone else find it nutty that umps carry tasers? i guess it's actually not a bad idea, but this was not something i was aware of. or maybe it's just in philly.

Igor said...

There needs to be a list compiled and posted with euphemisms bandied about these parts through the years. Electing the pope, giving Igor $5, etc.

TJ said...

Self-centered ass...etc...

Igor said...

Next time Robby Alomar or the like "hirschbecks" someone, they're gonna feel the sting of more than an ejection and a league fine.

Mark said...

Without looking it up, can anybody name the GM of the Chicago Bulls? I sure as hell couldn't have before 2 minutes ago.

TJ said...

Jim Paxson?

rob said...

john, right?

rob said...

mark cuban gave $25k to the college rugby 7s national championship. nice.

Mark said...

Paxson (John) is the VP of Basketball Ops. Gar Forman is the GM. And no, I don't have any idea who Gar Forman is or how he's qualified to run an NBA team.

You know what this means? There's still hope for me...

TJ said...

He is? Wow. It's like the Belushis were given NBA franchises...but one is dead...and doing a fine job in Chicago.

Zing.

Dan said...

i can't believe you don't know who Gar Froman is. his brother is THE sausage king of chicago.

TJ said...

Dan, no more old jokes about you. That is a "+1" for the ages.

Mark said...

I know who Gar Froman is, but not Gar FORman. Well done either way though, Dan.

And TJ, does Dan dropping a joke from a 20 year old movie really eliminate his eligibility for old guy jokes? Doubtful.

TJ said...

Nope.

It sure doesn't.

zman said...

Nnnneeeerds!

http://starwars.tomtom.com/voices/

Igor said...

The NBA has cornered the market on Gars . . . with 2. Gar Heard and Gar Forman. I know of no others, though I am sure they exist (outside of the rivers).

rob said...

gar finnvold used to pitch for the red sox, circa mid-1990s

Igor said...

Of the Helskinki Finnvolds? Ah, yes.

zman said...

Did you ever see the alligator gar episode of "River Monsters"? Big fish. Reel big fish.

rob said...

and gar-field high school was my alma mater's archrival. low rent rednecks. no offense, dan.

Dave said...

just took me thirty minutes to cancel my sirius satellite radio subscription.

by the end of the phone call, i think they offered me my own radio show to remain with them.

Dave said...

and that was not the sporting post i am "working" on. you'll never guess.

rob said...

regardless of the topic, i predict you use the word 'shuttlecock'.

Geoff said...

I just hope Dave's post is at least 5,000 words, involves hastily compiled song lyrics and is posted immediately above a post I actually wanted to read but was only allowed to remain at the top of the page for 8 minutes.

rob said...

no you didn't

Mark said...

I predict you'll be pretty happy with Dave's next post, Geoff.

Geoff said...

Like a premature ejaculator, I'm easy to please.

zman said...

I'd like Dave to work that line into a lyric.

Igor said...

Any of you guys ever get tasered? Seems like it would've been something our fraternity descendents of the early 2000's might've tried at a party.

Dan said...

my wife and i are into tasering. it's pretty hot.

zman said...

Brady pepper-sprayed himself by accident once and then got it on his girlfriend's delicates. The night turned sour shortly thereafter.

Igor said...

The image of our chum Spurrier sitting aon a couch dumbfounded, so drunk he didn't realize that it was pepper spray that was making him cough his intestines up for five minutes while the rest of the party holed up in the other room watching him, is one that will stick with me.

Other than that, I've dodged the pepper spray/taser/other weapons of forced submission. So far.

Igor said...

If you thought the Grammys were a misguided waste (and I do), consider this; Rick Reilly has been voted National Sportswriter of the Year 11 times. Seems like some folks aren't doing enough sports-reading, methinks.

Dan said...

last summer during the british open, abc for some unknown reason had reilly providing his lack of wit and wisdom. on the saturday of, before his piece, he was clad in a white suit and i think a hat if memory serves. he's so proud of himself, reilly. after he did his little piece, peter alliss, a brit who does golf for abc and is among if not the best says to mike tirico - "who was that, neal sedaka?"

reilly was made aware of it shortly after by tirico and he got a little defensive...he says, "are you kidding me, the guy wears short sleeve dress shirts."

he's a knob of large size.

Dave said...

love that spurrier scene. i won't go into the other memorable scene from that party.

thanks for the faith, geoff (although you are oddly accurate with this one)

and that line actually fits perfectly in the song i am working on-- seriously, i'm cutting it and pasting it right in.

Dan said...

ya know what is really frightening? the thought of reilly on monday night football.
i bet that happens within the next 5-6 years. can the G:TB Historian please mark that down for us?

drexdrago said...

Why does this blog insist on bashing Philly? Makes you look like a bunch of childish turds.

TJ said...

It does indeed. Thank you for shining the light...mr poopy pants.

drexdrago said...

At least you admit it. Douche.

TJ said...

You said turds.

Hehe.

Mark said...

We don't insist on bashing Philly. It just keeps serving up classy citizens for our mockery.

Geoff said...

Putting an end to Philly bashing, one blog at a time. Once that's done, we can go bag to raping nuns and rubbing feces in the eyes of homeless children.

drexdrago said...

From reading the archives it would appear you are from Florida, or at least went to that JUCO they call a university. Careful tossing stones around your glass house hoss.

Don't taze me bro!!!

rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TJ said...

Rick Reilly finds Dez Bryant to be a mix of John Lennon and Richard Pryor. Rick Reilly can lick my taint.

Greg said...

Looks like you went to Drexel. Best Hobo School on the East Coast.

rob said...

ernie harwell died. bummer.

rob said...

drexel does have america's best-dressed basketball coach. you can look it up.

rob said...

crosby's such a little bitch. have we mentioned this here before?

zman said...

I just ate about a half pound of Humboldt Fog. It's delicious. I feel ill.

rob said...

if i didn't know better, i'd say you just created a phenomenal new euphemism, z.

Mark said...

My education's being impugned? Oh the horror. How will I get over the embarrassment of someone I don't know (or will ever meet) making fun of where I went to school?!!? Oh, that's right. I don't define myself by where I live or went to school. Probably because I have a fucking life.

Mark said...

In case nobody's noticed, the Magic completely blitzed Atlanta in the second quarter. Lead is a measly 24 points early in the 3rd.

rob said...

subtle use of impugned, mark. elegant defense of your education, with a well-placed 'fucking' to cement your street cred. a few points deducted for the multiple punctuation marks, but on the whole a very solid effort.

Mark said...

Thanks Rob, now go fuck yourself!!!

rob said...

with a pound of humboldt fog

rob said...

how come nobody's talking about what a great tase shot that cop fired? on the move, firing at a running target, bullseye. that's matrix shit.

TJ said...

Across the pond it's called a humboldt cigarette.

Mark said...

Fag.

TJ said...

John Calipari coaching the Bulls sounds like two douchey sides getting what they deserve.

TJ said...

Rod Barajas is a bad man.

rob said...

not that i think there's much chance of lebron going to chicago in the first place, but if they hire calipari there's zero chance of it happening. this smells like cal trying to squeeze a few more dollars out of kentucky.

rob said...

david ortiz' decline is just sad to watch. figure out what 'injury' he has and put him down for a while already.

rob said...

another dipshit just ran on the field in philly. but we're the childish turds. i mean, we're totally childish, but the turds thing hurts.

TJ said...

You said turds!!!

Franks and beans!!!!!

rob said...

said dipshit tweeted about it before he went on the field: http://bit.ly/duQfK5

Mark said...

Rex Drago is coming for you Rob. He's reading your archives right now but he'll be back to call you out soon.

Anybody know what the worst Playoff loss ever is? I feel like we're going to see that graphic on the screen here soon. 44 points has got to be close.

TJ said...

That Celts/Hawks game seven a few years ago was a shithsow.

Mark said...

I hope you all watched the TNT halftime show so you could hear Dwight Howard tell Barkley that he dressed like the black Stan Van Gundy. That was great. The side by side pics that showed up on screen shortly thereafter was even better.

TJ said...

A 64-20 run?

Um, ok.

zman said...

Ortiz eats a half pound of Humboldt Fog between at-bats. Manny used to eat it in the scoreboard.

zman said...

Meanwhile, Kenshin Kawakami is pooping all over my fantasy team. Keep me away from whatever he's eating between innings.

Shlara said...

Speaking of Dwight Howard...is anyone else watching Basketball Wives?

drexdrago said...

Stuck a nerve? You don't define yourself by where you went to school Mr. Florida? Whatever. If you can't hanle the Philly heat stay out of the kitchen.

As for "calling out" Rob, I won't waste my time on red Sox fans, or Met fans for that matter. Punks.

Mark said...

So much heat. Must stay out of the Philly kitchen.