Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Public Health Message, G:TB Style

We at Gheorghe: The Blog are always concerned about our readers' (or, perhaps more accurately, reader's) well-being. So we're providing a vision test free of charge.



Be sure to follow up with a non-Gheorghe health care professional before drawing any conclusions.

102 comments:

Jerry said...

You're Mike Brown. Your job is on the line. If you get fired, you'll probably never have a better chance to win a title. Grow some damn balls. F Shaq's ego. F Jamison's feelings. Play your guys that give you the best chance to win the game.

TJ said...

It's the Joe Johnson/Chris Bosh show coming to MSG next year. Have fun with that shit show.

TJ said...

I know Tony Allen enjoys the emphatic dunk. But you're not helping your team if you faceplant and break your jaw hanging after these dunks dumbass.

TJ said...

Mark, I think everyone really missed out on our Knicks tat comedy rhombus in the post below.

TJ said...

He sure does love to dunk.

zman said...

I wish my rant about the midget had more time to breathe.

Shlara said...

zman, that comment was so funny, you need to re-post it.

Mark said...

Does anybody look less comfortable in this game than Jamison?

And I thoroughly enjoyed Jerry's Hubie Brown turn to start these comments.

Mark said...

I agree TJ. We didn't even get a chance to discuss Charles Smith and his Old English "Send it in Jerome" stomach tat.

TJ said...

I was thinking more of the epic Ewing "You should see my third leg" tat.

Mark said...

Jackson beat me to it but it bears repeating, LeBron isn't exactly controlling this game. What the fuck is wrong with him?

zman said...

Thanks Shlara. Maybe I'll use it as filler if I can find some photos. It really was a nasty stew of humanity. Making matters worse, I ordered food and couldn't get it. My batata harra was mushy by the time we ate.

TJ said...

I say he's hurt, not too badly but badly enough that he doesn't want to push it and hurt his future billions for a city he plans to abandon as soon as they lose this game.

Mark said...

There's been some discussion that LBJ is on pain meds that are making him sluggish. I don't know about that but he's far less involved (even giving the ball up early on breaks and secondary breaks) than I can ever remember seeing.

zman said...

Who can eat more canoli: Shaq or TR?

Mark said...

If he's hurt, when did it happen? He sure didn't look hurt in Game 3.

Shlara said...

I like KG, but he's flat out crazy.

TJ said...

Oh, I'm just throwing stuff out there...I have no fucking clue what's wrong with him. But I am curious to see if we ever get the truth.

Mark said...

KG's crazy. And I hate Mo Williams but he and Varejao are the only Cavs worth a shit right now.

Mark said...

Memo to LeBron: Just because you can make a pass doesn't make it a good pass. Actually, just stop fucking passing. TAKE OVER!

Mark said...

Allen and Pierce have been pretty awful tonight. Of course, nobody's going to notice with LBJ's sleepwalking routine.

Mark said...

I don't think I can ever recall LeBron trying to regularly post up. So he picks tonight to break that part of his game out. This is so fucking odd.

Mark said...

Adrien Brody should fire his agent. If he even has one.

mayhugh said...

Why, hello, Mr. James.

Mark said...

Hey LeBron! Nice of you to join us. Not exactly the style of offense most would want but I'm fairly certain evryone will take it.

rob said...

mark, i don't recall tweeting at you. what'd i say? in m defense, i was really business drunk last night. and really business hungover today.

Mark said...

Why hasn't Stern forced ESPN to show us shots of Candace Parker sitting courtside during thus series? She's the WNBA's biggest star and her brother and husband are both involved in this series. Wait a minute, why do I give a fuck?

zman said...

Who is Candace Parker?

Mark said...

Maybe it was TJ. I have no idea who runs the G:TB Twitter feed.

Really? Two 3s is all we're getting out of LeBron? Dick.

Mark said...

Good point, Z.

TJ said...

Yep, that was me hitting you up on the tweet machine.

Mark said...

Fort Minor's involved in the new Karate Kid? Well, I'm sold.

Mark said...

Stop shooting 3s, LeBron. You fucking bitch.

mayhugh said...

I mean, wow. LeBron's supporting cast wants to do him no favors. Jamison can't hit crap, and Shaq moves and jumps like he's trapped in a net.

TJ said...

Goodbye Cleveland.

Shlara said...

done

Mark said...

Who woke Sheed up? And where did they get the coke they gave him?

zman said...

"Yep, that was me hitting you up on the tweet machine."

TJ was the quimby?

TJ said...

Zman, how's your lady feeling, you know, after I did her like this, I did her like that, I did her with a wiffle ball bat...

Mark said...

The supporting cast has been terrible but LeBron's been just as bad. It's a dead heat. Of crap.

何奎安木姍 said...

與人相處不妨多用眼睛說話,多用嘴巴思考,...............................................................

Mark said...

Seriously LeBron, shoot the fucking ball and stop waiting on the D. I don't even like Cleveland and I'm disgusted.

Mark said...

Being traded to the Cavs might be the worst thing that ever happened to Jamison's rep. He's been awful in every big spot.

zman said...

Did Simmons start the Knicks chant?

Mark said...

Now LeBron is aggressive off the dribble? I don't get it.

TJ said...

Jerry seemed to indicate earlier that Simmons was indeed influencing chants.

Mark said...

Good Lord the Celtics look like they want to piss themselves. Settle down and run your offense. Don't play stall ball.

Mark said...

There you go.

Mark said...

LeBron's stat line will end looking good for tonight. They won't come close to telling the whole story.

As a Magic fan, I am in no way excited about taking on the Celtics. Cavs never really scared me. Celtics' balance and D definitely do.

Mark said...

KG's crazy but he's a tough guy not to like.

zman said...

Tough guy your shit is weak.

Mark said...

The two best teams in the East will play each other in the Conference Finals. Yes, TEAMS. Should be fun with KG and Jameer healthy for Round 2.

Jerry said...

Hopefully they'll put on a better show than the Christmas Day game.

I actually wouldn't mind seeing LeBron go to Chicago. I feel like this rumor has increased by about a million percent in the last 24 hours.

Dan said...

z-read your "little person" story about an hour ago at home. me think funny.
i put a small wager on the my first and last nba game last night thinking lebron and his homey's would rebound, "rebound" as in rebound, but also bounce back and redeem themselves. me wrong. me think not so funny.

Geoff said...

For the record, I am colorblind and I can't read the number in the circle...but I'll guess "69."

TR said...

I don't see a number. I feel like the fat guy in Mallrats (who later co-starred in American History X and My Name is Earl) cursing at the photo on the wall because he doesn't see the 3D imagery.

Geoff said...

I never see a number in these things...so I couldn't tell you if its a hoax or not. But if its not a hoax, and you don't see a number...welcome to the club TR...

zman said...

I'm impressed that a man of such sartorial splendor is colorblind. And I mean Geoff, not TR.

Geoff said...

Recognizing what matches and knowing what color it is aren't the same thing.

Geoff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

who's the chap that last friday was assessing oil spill damage? tr? how's that workin out for ya?

zman said...

I work in one of the least social office envirnoments on earth. No one talks to anyone else. Everyone just sits in their offices and grinds out work. Although this solitary drudgery is often soul-sapping, it allows me to blog a lot. And I can fart in my office with reckless abandon because no one ever comes in. Until today. The woman in the office next to mine came over after she heard me swearing. She was concerned I had injured myself. Instead she walked into a noxious methane cloud, newly minted by my intestines. She was clearly fazed, but she's British so she handled it relatively well.

TR said...

Oil spill nonsense = not good times. Markets in general are in chaos today. And I get to play Mr. Mom tonight as the missus heads out. My boys better be prepared for a couple hours of beer-drinking Dad.

Dave said...

i am blue-green deficient, but that test is a hoax.

i think we need a run-down of exactly what everyone's job is at gheorghe. their job in the real world, not their job at gheorghe. that's another post entirely. but i get so confused with real world jobs. i thought TR owned an olive grove and his market was a mess, and i have no idea what zman or TJ does, despite TJ's title on his e-mails. i've interrogated jerry, whitney, and rob about their jobs a bit, but i'm still fuzzy. i know some people work in offices in florida . . . mark, dennis? geoff? but it's all so confusing out there.

i'll start. i'm an english teacher. that was easy.

Dan said...

zman - that's two audible laughs in a 6 hour period.

maybe i can reciprocate...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZP4Ugev82I&feature=player_embedded

zman said...

Excellent. AWL, barking AWL at that.

rob said...

i'm vice president of business development at a small information technology consulting company. in theory, that means i'm responsible for generating new revenue for the company. i have a small team of sales/marketing people who actually do all the work while i think strategic thoughts. i'm not really adding much value to the world at large.

zman said...

I help large multi-national organizations obtain rights to government-sanctioned monopolies. I also help them assert these rights against other large multi-national organizations. In theory I add societal value by helping large multi-national organizations realize the fruits of their inventive labor through Congress' codified systems of incentives. But some people believe this value is as tangible as the tooth fairy.

drexdrago said...

Comment 69. Phuck yeah.

Geoff said...

I'm vice president of federal affairs at a conservative trade association, which means I manage a 20 person team of lobbyists and political hacks.

Geoff said...

As to adding value to the world, I do my part in making the rich richer and keeping the little guy as little as possible...so you can be the judge as to what value I bring.

Geoff said...

This movie, The Human Centipede, is out right now. Someone at work told me that he's had nightmares for five nights straight because of it and it is the worst thing that has ever happened to him and he feels its ruined his life. Check out Ebert's review. I am not seeing this movie...

http://tinyurl.com/29xv5an

zman said...

I don't understand what holds everything together.

Geoff said...

Stitches?

zman said...

I would tear myself free. It must be crazy glue or something like that.

cgormley said...

Music worlds colliding ... Sting, The Boss, Lady Ga Ga, Elton John and Debbie Harry ... sing 'Don't Stop believin'.

http://nyti.ms/ajoy4O

zman said...

I feel bad for the actor who landed the role of Quimby in the Human Centipede. But I feel worse for everyone who auditioned for the part and didn't get it. How do you prepare for that audition?

Geoff said...

With a dental dam on?

zman said...

Who told you to put the dam on?

Geoff said...

The maestro?

TJ said...

There are no villas available in Tuscany.

Mark said...

Z-Man has embraced the word quimby like few before or since.

TJ said...

Figuratively and (sadly for the zwoman) literally.

zman said...

Interestingly, the quimby seems to be the one doing most of the embracing. No?

TJ said...

I've told you before...I'm a fluffer for Vivid Video. The quimby gig was part time when I really needed the money.

Dave said...

great job descriptions! i now a slightly better idea of what the hell people do in the real world.

i am an english teacher, and in my spare time, i am sewing together a human MILLIPEDE (more legs).

i love ebert's diagram.

Geoff said...

And Dave, for the folks that didn't answer--

Mark is the lead singer of Midnight Oil.

Dennis manages a bed & breakfast in Dale City.

Jerry works at the Wet Seal as an assistant manager in the Ballston location, and at night he is a squash hustler at the University Club downtown.

And TR analyzes oil spills for Redbook magazine.

TJ said...

Delonte West banged LeBron's mom? Oh that would be rich.

mayhugh said...

The Human Centipede is actually on my On Demand for some reason. I got it a couple of weeks ago and made it about 35 minutes in, which was about 12 minutes after shit got real.

BDK indicated on the Junkies that he left the movie three times to dry heave into a sink.

Mark said...

Midnight Oil broke up. I'm the Director of Marketing for a Home Healthcare company. We provide nursing and PT care in the home, primarily for seniors. (I do live in Florida and near the beach after all). My main responsibilities are marketing strategies (similar to what Rob does, I think) as well as being the public face of our company at various community events and trade shows. For a guy covered in tats, I clean up fairly well. I also do web design and marketing work on the side with an IT guy I used to work with. It helps pay for the tats and the drugs. Plus, I enjoy it far more than healthcare (old people smell).

Shlara said...

I realize that I'm about 24 hours late to the conversation but I still have to say that last nights Cavs performance was pathetic. I fell asleep with 5 mins left in the game. If there was ANY emotion or intensity from the Cavs, I'm sure I would have been able to stay awake--it's like they were playing on a Tuesday night in January.

rob said...

the bruins are putting the finishing touches on a fairly epic micro and macro collapse. nicely symmetrical.

rob said...

unfuckingreal

TJ said...

rob, it's a good thing you don't really care about hockey/the Bruins, because you just got the Oz-end of the 2004 Red Sox/Yankees comeback.

Hell, the Flyers weren't only down 3-0 in the series, they were down 3-0 in that game. Vagina Vasquez made sure there was no drama in '04.

孟軒 said...

Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.

rob said...

or the middle of the centipede

zman said...

I made the mistake of forwarding the Human Centipede review to the zwoman and now that's all she talks about. She had a nightmare just from the review.

rob said...

bob costas loves interviewing jockeys

TJ said...

Calvin Burrel is a member of Star Fleet?

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