Friday, April 24, 2009

As Mr. Page and Mr. Plant once so eloquently said...

Ramble On...

This is meant to be the open post for the NFL Draft tomorrow. It promises to be a pretty exciting day, no Jazz Fest day I'm sure, but fun nonetheless. And I felt this picture captured the draft for all football fans out there...I think we all hope Saturday and Sunday could be this perfect:


227 comments:

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TR said...

I totally agree with Marc on Stafford. He just wasn't that good in college.

Two other draft comments:

1) Men who wear their team's jerseys to sports bars for the draft are losers. Or alcoholics. Or both.

2) There should be a 3 he moratorium on praising/killing a team's draft picks. We should call this rule The Mario Williams Corollary.

TR said...

Sorry for iPhone typo. "3 he" should be 3 year.

TJ said...

Hey Mark, try to comment on the right post.

Geoff said...

Ovechkin's goal there was sick.

Mark said...

I'll be immediately judging draft picks all day tomorrow. It's one of my favorite things about draft day. You knows what not though?

The new 4 pm start to the first round. I want to wake up hungover and be mere minutes away from the first pick. This new format sucks more dick than Yancey Thigpen.

TJ said...

Stafford is a Lion.

And we are one step closer to my Sanchez Retard Deal.

TJ said...

I just ordered Comcast Cinemax so I could watch Brewster's Millions at 3am.

Mark said...

The only decision worse than TJ's drunken Cinemax order from last night was Martin Mayhew's decision to give Matthew Stafford almost $42 million in guaranteed money. I can't wait to see how this plays out...

Marlin said...

Teej,
I fully support your late night purchase. Brewster's is a underrated movie that gets lost in the sea of good to great 80's comedies. Pryor, while not his best work, still had his fastball and Candy is fantastic as Spike Nolan. The solid gold catchers mask medallion gets me every time.

If that movie had been made in the 90's when good comedies were much fewer and far between, it would get a lot more play.

rob said...

new orleans doesn't suck. in case you were wondering. and ovechkin's goal was ridiculous. also, teejay, we made it to the mall with time to spare.

Mark said...

Tyson Jackson is a heck of a player and definitely deserves to go in the 1st round. However, he's not a game changer at DE and anytime you take a DE in the top 10 I think you expect that guy to be an impact player on defense. That's not Jackson, he wasn't a dominant player at LSU and he won't be a dominant player in the NFL, imo. He's going to be good and consistent against both the run and the pass but he'll never be a guy with big sack numbers. If a team takes him in the top 10 (or top 5) which is how its sounding right now, I imagine their fans will be disappointed with the on-field results.

Its not Jackson's fault, but he's going to end up being labeled as overrated because of where he's being drafted.

Greg said...

Ever seen "Bustin' Loose" with Richard Pryor? Dated, but funny.

zoltan said...

Halter top day rocks.

Mark said...

Every day is halter top day when you live two blocks from the beach...

zoltan said...

The beach is vastly superior to Boston, I won't argue that. But after spending 8 months surrounded by people shrouded in North Face jackets, the first 80+ degree 0% humidity day of the year is spectacular.

Not so spectacular was the guy I saw rocking an Al Toon jersey, Sperry Topsiders, and grey tube socks.

Geoff said...

If you are watching the Hornets/Nuggets game, this is one of the worst collapses I've ever seen by NO.

TJ said...

Wow, Carmelo almost made that half court shot...

zoltan said...

Are those Nuggets jerseys new or throwbacks?

Geoff said...

New-ish. They've had them for at least a year as their third jersey.

TJ said...

Mark, to your earlier comment, its now 4pm and draft go time, and I am still massively hungover. Damn 3am showings of Brewsters Millions...

Geoff said...

So Steve Young blidly selected his suit/tie/shirt out of a bag or something, right?

TJ said...

We're 20 minutes away from the Skins trading for Sanchez...

zoltan said...

Lots of hate for Matthew Stafford.

TJ said...

Harrington 2.0

zoltan said...

My beloved Bills have 2 first round picks. For the umpteenth year in a row, I predict they will take a 5'6" CB and a tall WR who runs a 5.5 sec 40-yard-dash.

TJ said...

Eli's text to Stafford?

"Xoxoxo ;)"

TJ said...

Metaphorical dead bodies? Lighten up Steve.

Geoff said...

Stafford just called the Lions a great organization. Straight shooter...

Geoff said...

Snyder said yesterday that he will not trade next year's first rounder. We'll see...I don't trust his word or his discipline.

zoltan said...

They're a great organization compared to, say, the Taliban or NAMBLA. Or the Pedroia family.

Geoff said...

The Taliban is much more efficient and effective organization than the Lions.

zoltan said...

Yeah, but I just can't get behind their purpose.

TJ said...

OK, so who the hell was Sanchez on the phone with?

Geoff said...

Yeah, I'm with you Drew. I came out against the Taliban a few years back.

zoltan said...

Owning an NFL hat gives you the same feeling you get when you're drafted. That makes sense.

TJ said...

Oh lord...Herm is a draft analyst?

zoltan said...

Do the opposite of what Herm says.

Geoff said...

TJ--the Post is reporting that the Skins are no longer in the Sanchez sweepstakes because the Jets were willing to give up more...and its either the Jets or Seattle.

Geoff said...

Herm looks a lot like Uncle Leo when he burned off his eyebrows and Elaine painted them back on with eyeliner.

TJ said...

Herm just told us this draft is good with "solid football players".

zoltan said...

Here's a graphic of just how bad Herm was last year. Now let's ask him what he would do if he were Scott Pioli?!

Geoff said...

Here you go:

http://www.wakeskating.com/forum/files/uncle-leo.jpg

TJ said...

Jets jumping up to 4?

zoltan said...

As opposed to ephemeral football players.

TJ said...

Good god Steve Young, why don't you just saunter over and blow Curry.

TJ said...

Mark, your boy...

Geoff said...

Hey Steve, how much does Tyson Jackson love football? Scale of 1 to 100?

zoltan said...

Is Jackson one of those guys who went this high because of his workout performance? He's a 2-time 2nd-team All-SEC player. Shouldn't the 1st-team All-SEC player be drafted ahead of him?

Geoff said...

Don't light a match near Aaron Curry's suit.

TJ said...

Zoltan, stop trying to apply logic to the draft. It will just confuse and irritate you.

zoltan said...

In my not-so-expert opinion, there are three categories of obvious NFL busts:

1. Pre-draft workout monsters who weren't that great in college. Mike Mamula, Akili Smith, Dan Wilkinson.

2. Guys who put up big numbers because of their supporting cast. Ron Dayne, Curtis Enis, Ki-Jana Carter, Ty Detmer, David Terrell, maybe Matt Leinart.

3. Proven criminals/mental cases. Ryan Leaf, Lawrence Phillips, Ricky Williams.

zoltan said...

Curry's mom made that suit for him last night.

Geoff said...

So where do Heath Shuler, Desmond Howard and Robert Gallery fall on that list?

TJ said...

Boom, no one actually believes you did homework for this draft.

zoltan said...

I think Howard and Shuler are category 2. Gallery may be category 4 - roid head (Mandarich).

zoltan said...

Reggie Bush may end up in category 2. He's basically a faster Eric Metcalf.

TJ said...

Robert Gallery has actually been a fine NFL offensive lineman. Of course not comparable to where he was drafted, but he's not a total bust.

TJ said...

Jesus Christ, enough with this "loves football" crap.

Geoff said...

Yes! Tyson Jackson loves football too! This is gonna be an awesome season!!! Weeeeeeeee!

zoltan said...

"Do they take Sanchez so they can control where Sanchez goes." Huh?

Geoff said...

TJ, I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with you. Gallery was drafted to play LT and be a stud. He couldn't cut it at LT...then he couldn't cut it as a RT, and finally he moved to guard where I've read he is doing decent.

Geoff said...

For the record, I love football. Look for me to go early in the second round.

Geoff said...

Dirty Sanchez headed to the J-E-T-S.

TJ said...

J
E
T
S

Geoff said...

Favre just announced he's coming back...just fyi.

TJ said...

Geoff, you are correct. I guess I just felt bad for him being lumped in with the truly awful busts.

TJ said...

TR, where are you?

Geoff said...

Dear Jets,

Thank you sincerely for saving the Redskins from themselves. It is greatly appreciated.

Yours in Christ,

Geoff

zoltan said...

I encountered a few truly awful busts in the Burg.

TJ said...

Point, Zoltan.

TJ said...

Isn't Guile a character in Street Fighter?

TJ said...

Um, the Jets didn't really have to give up a lot to get Sanchez at 5. That's pretty freaking sweet.

TJ said...

Bengals are moronic.

TJ said...

Let's get this crazy Mexican in a Jets jersey, pronto.

TJ said...

Hey Al Davis, Maclin or Harvin?

zoltan said...

This is the flaky guy?

TJ said...

A 4.3 40 eh? Still a terrible pick.

Geoff said...

What a misfire. Al looked at the 40 times and made this pick himself.

TJ said...

Mel and Todd each gave the kid who just went 7th a F grade? Geesh.

Geoff said...

If Harvin or Maclin are around at 13, can Snyder resist?

TJ said...

McShay hammering this pick, and rightfully so...

zoltan said...

Slow-ass Keyshawn, hating on speed.

TJ said...

That's priceless. Herm likes the DHB pick.

TJ said...

How about the bracelet on Eugene Monroe?

zoltan said...

Academically ineligible at BC? So he's wicked smaht.

TJ said...

He was sweating profusely sitting on a couch.

So I guess San Fran is drafting me next.

TJ said...

Crabtree is gonna have a Paul Pierce-esque chip on his shoulder next year.

zoltan said...

Randy Moss-esque, even.

Geoff said...

Bea Arthur just died...so take her off your draft boards.

Geoff said...

If Orakpo and Oher are on the board...who do I want the Skins to pick? I think I'll go Oher.

Jerry said...

Gallery is a huge bust.

The Skins have now been outbid twice in the last month or so. That's surprising.

This Penguins-Flyers game is better than the draft.

TJ said...

And the Yankees are taking it to Josh Beckett.

Geoff said...

Berman just said Penn State is right around the corner from Buffalo...much like Charlotte is right around the corner from Baltimore.

zoltan said...

I am not upset with this pick. Suprisingly.

zoltan said...

Maybin has impressive jewelry too. Cufflinks, bracelets.

TJ said...

Married Jerry wanted Orakpo there...

Mark said...

Just got home and I'm catching up with the draft and man do I wish I had seen the Heyward-Bey pick coming. It just makes so much damn sense I can't believe I didn't think of it. Al Davis, still outsmarting us after all these years (at least that's what he thinks).

Mark said...

I think I'd have gone with Orakpo over Maybin too but Orakpo's questionable motor might've played a part...

TJ said...

I could care less about these Dan Brown books/movies.

Jerry said...

Beware, gay:

There is a picture floating around the internet of shirtless Maybin and it's very impressive.

Geoff said...

Knowshown...playing spades or hearts?

TJ said...

Wow.

zoltan said...

Keyshawn hating on Knowshon. No solidarity between the K---shons?

Jerry said...

Beware, gay:

Sidney Crosby, still diving.

Geoff said...

I predict the Skins go Orakpo here...questionable motor is how they roll.

TJ said...

There you go Geoffrey.

Mark said...

Knowshon's an interesting pick here. I guess McDaniels is trying his best to divorce himself from anything Shanahan related in terms of how he puts together a team.

I like Moreno but I think his running style could get him injured frequently ala Cadillac Williams.

Jerry said...

Orakpo always looked good to me when I was watching.

Mark said...

It's the "shon" that angers Key, Zoltan. And Geoff couldn't have been more right. The Skins practically ran their pick up there. Could end up being a great pick if Haynesworth can allow Orkapo to see a ton of one-on-ones...

Geoff said...

I'm pleased. And mildly aroused.

Mark said...

Me too, Jerry. But YOUR boy Mike Mayock isn't a fan and questions his motor. Mayock's usually pretty solid in his analysis.

Geoff said...

The Skins d line got significantly better and youngerthis offseason...something that hasn't happened in a long time.

TJ said...

You're looking at the Maybin photo, aren't you?

Mark said...

Couldn't you have started that with a "Beware, gay:", Geoff?

Jerry said...

By the way, if you google "Maybin Shirtless" you get the picture, courtesy of a blog with the following description:


A blog that discusses a range of issues from the African-American gay male perspective.

TJ said...

Carlton: The Blog?

zoltan said...

Holy shit. Did you see that guy's biceps?

Mark said...

Btw, Beanie Wells is NOT a bruiser. He is big. He is strong. He is soft.

Mark said...

Jerry might've just turned me into a gay black man.

zoltan said...

And I was refering to the guy in the ad for the ESPN documentary, not any of the men TJ is ogling on the interweb.

Mark said...

Saints should go Malcolm Jenkins here...and move him to safety.

Mark said...

Sure Zoltan, sure...

TJ said...

Mark and Keyshawn are on the same page. I'm frightened.

TJ said...

Which of these three USC linebackers is the best pro?

Jerry said...

Yeah, uh...big-time Giants fan hea....Whaddya say we package our numba one and maybe uh...someone like Sino-rice Moss and see if can get a guy like that Calvin Johnson...you know from Detroit. He's a big guy you know and I think he'd really help the team.

zoltan said...

Geoff is loving the pocket square.

Jerry said...

Cushing = pony tail full of steroids.

zoltan said...

I miss WFAN.

Mark said...

Could Cushing look like a bigger douche?

Mark said...

Jerry got me.

Geoff said...

Pocket squares are pretty awful...and if you do use one, at least match it to your tie.

zoltan said...

Vinnie from Flatbush, in the car!

"Da Knicks need a real point gaaaad. Dey shood trade Chah-lee Waaad and Chahles Smiff faw Kevin Jawnsin."

Geoff said...

Cushing got that hairstle from that Van Damme movie where he played twins.

TJ said...

Double Impact?

zoltan said...

Maclin rocking the wifebeater. Nice.

Geoff said...

"Hey Czabe, what about the Skins trading Campbell and Randel-El to the Colts for Peyton Manning?"

Mark said...

Not once while watching Brian Robiskie did I ever think he looked like a 1st round caliber WR.

Geoff said...

Wait'll we get our Hanes on you.

Jerry said...

I think questions of that caliber are reserved to the John Thompson "show". By both the callers and the hosts.

Deion with the "blue collar" right to Cushing's face!

Geoff said...

And Thompson would say "Yeah, that's a great idea...though I like Campbell better than Manning."

Jerry said...

Now dis kid Manning....we not talkin bout Eli, right?

zoltan said...

It's been said many times before, but... Kiper's hair is amazing. He looks like a lego toy, like you could snap his hair on and off, exhange it for a space helmet, different kinds of hair, etc.

Geoff said...

Per Mel's analysis, the Chargers should have gone 16-0 last year.

Geoff said...

How many hyphenated guys do we have in the NFL now? Rogers-Cromartie, Heyward-Bey...

Jerry said...

Jones-Drew

Geoff said...

An ad for Desperate Housewives during the NFL Draft is a sound investment.

Jerry said...

Uh-oh.....Bucs trade up for Freeman?

zoltan said...

BenJarvis Green-Ellis. It may be Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis, I'm not sure.

Mark said...

Please tell me the Bucs aren't trading up for Josh Fucking Freeman.

Mark said...

You had it right the first time, Zoltan.

Jerry said...

There's two guys on the Australian rugby team with hyphenated names.

Mark said...

Don't forget Jackson Joyner-Kersee...

TJ said...

Mark, enjoy that guy...

zoltan said...

Josh Freeman looks like he's 16 years old. TJ is googling for topless photos I bet.

Mark said...

And he shall be known as Josh Fucking Freeman heretofore.

zoltan said...

Snowbirds from LI and NJ will love TB's new Jewish QB.

Geoff said...

He doesn't look Druish.

Jerry said...

It just seems like such a bad idea. Basically, everyone is saying that his weaknesses are "being a quarterback."

But he is one big, good-looking athlete.

zoltan said...

Yeah, the Pats always relied on dominant RBs. Antowain Smith, Corey Dillon's corpse, Lawrence Maroney, Kevin Faulk, Sammy Morris, Larry Centers.

TJ said...

Just say it Steve. You think McDaniels is a moron.

Geoff said...

How about Michael Oher hanging in the green room? I know some had him lower, but you don't go to radio city if you don't think you're going in the top 20.

Jerry said...

You guys should really be watching NFL Network. The cromulence of Mike Mayock. The awesomeness of Jon Gruden. Can't be beat.

Geoff said...

I would be watching NFL network...if Comcast hadn't inexplicably dropped it last week. You can't even pay to get it. So, we move into the new house next weekend and Fios gets installed on Saturday.

Mark said...

Jerry summed up many of my thoughts on drafting Josh Freeman nicely. Speaking of picks on dubious on, Robert Ayers, huh?

As someone who watches more SEC football than just about anything else, I can honestly say I never once thought about him in terms of designing an offensive gameplan against UT. I just don't see how/why he's a 1st round pick.

TJ said...

The scumbags in Philly aren't foing to like Maclin missing half the games with leg inkuries.

Jerry said...

Always surprised me that Maclin was consistently ranked over Harvin, even before the dope stuff.

Mark said...

Trey Wingo's bringing up some good points regarding the Eagles' stupidity with this pick and the trade they made earlier...

Geoff said...

Lions go Oher here. I'm calling it. "We've got our QB and his blind side covered for the next decade."

zoltan said...

Just what the Lions need.

Mark said...

Here's why I think Maclin rates higher (it surprised me too). He returned kicks & punts and Harvin didn't (he could've he just had Brandon James to do it), he's had some injuries and finally (and most importantly imo) is that Harvin was surrounded by a lot of other talented offensive players throughout his career while Maclin was basically options 1,2 & 3 in the Mizzou offense so he ended up with bigger numbers and ended up looking better.

I'll take what Harvin did in the SEC over Maclin all day.

Mark said...

Pettigrew is a very good blocker for a receiving tight end. Still don't love the pick though.

Jerry said...

Yes!!! Mayock compared Pettigrew to Jason Witten. Inter-race comparison.

And he just showed him pancaking Orakpo.

zoltan said...

Pettigrew could be the greatest TE ever and it's a bad pick. The Lions went 0-16 last year. They need at least one of everything. A TE isn't going to turn them around. Picking a TE in the 1st round is a luxury few teams can afford.

Mark said...

I just made a move that virtually ensures Percy Harvin will go in the 1st round.

Geoff said...

Did this move involve usage of paraphernalia?

Mark said...

Possibly.

zoltan said...

Adrian Peterson AND Harvin? Skiddit.

Geoff said...

Impressive Mark.

Mark said...

If they use him imaginatively, like the Eagles used Jackson, that offense could be a nightmare of possibilities.

zoltan said...

And Harvin has to be smarter and tougher than Jackson. More versatile too.

zoltan said...

I think the Pats need a LB. So they'll take a punter.

Mark said...

Nice Steve Smith reference. I have maintained for a couple years now that Harvin's absolute ceiling is near Steve Smith.

Jerry said...

So I guess Harvin didn't slide very far.

zoltan said...

Yanks/Sawks tied at 8. I missed 14 runs?

zoltan said...

Baltimore drafted Oher, so he'll be very good.

Mark said...

Seems that way. I wanted either Ole Miss guy for the Bucs...speaking of...

Jerry said...

Ryan Hollins is playing in the last 2 minutes for Dallas?

Mark said...

Vontae Davis has an enormous face.

zoltan said...

This guy's suit looks like it's made from the same material as my mom's couch.

Jerry said...

If your heart is open, love will always find its way in.

Mark said...

You know, when you can draft a guy in the 1st round who's been schooled by Ron Zook, you can't let an opportunity like that pass you by.

Mark said...

Jerry Seymour, settle down.

Geoff said...

Okay Patriots...I get it, you trade all your picks away for more picks. But, eventually you have to pick someone or else what are you really doing?

zoltan said...

Didn't Clay Matthews retire 10 years ago?

Jerry said...

Green Bay = Premium white LBs.

Geoff said...

i believe this is his son.

Jerry said...

The Patriots have an absurd # of 2/3 picks now. Probably a record. That's an efficient place to be drafting.

Jerry said...

There's not much I like more than a good "U-S-A" chant.

Jerry said...

You couldn't get a suitable equivalent for Donald Brown in the 4th round?

zoltan said...

I am not upset with that pick either. Surprisingly.

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