Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm Not Sure You Can Handle the Truth

How many of you out there remember a little film called A Few Good Men? Based simply on the frequency of quotes from it bandied about the posts and comments of our blog circle (most popular: "You, Lt. Weinberg??"), it's fairly ingrained. Now . . . how many of you knew that it was based on a true story? Maybe you did, but I was unaware until last night.

Yes, the play which became the film was written by Aaron Sorkin ("The West Wing", The American President, Charlie Wilson's War), and apparently it's based at least in part on the tribulations of a young JAG officer (I chuckle immaturely every time those two words are uttered together) attorney named Donald Marcari.

So apparently Marcari is still practicing law, but not in historically bold circumstances toppling giants akin to a Colonel Jessup. He's in the private sector now, with an office not far from where I live. And as I was flipping channels last night, his advertisement aired on one of the local affiliates.
"As a young JAG officer--"
[And of course I laugh and can't wait to see who the young jagoff they're talking about is]
". . . Don Marcari put everything on the line to defend his clients. His story was told to millions of people in the movie A Few Good Men."
[Really? It was a true story? Huh. Wonder what this guy's doing now. Color me intrigued, or at least paying attention to to local ad, which in the TiVo era, I am not wont to do.]
". . . Today, Don Marcari and his partners fight--"
[Wait for it . . . wait for it . . . ]
"the insurance companies--"
[He's an ambulance chaser! No! LTJG Daniel Kaffee is now a friggin' ambulance chaser.]
"If you've seen the movie, then you know he will fight for you with unwavering passion. If you've been hurt, call . . ."
[Ugh.]
". . . and put a few good men to work for you.]
[Double ugh.]

And the pièce de résistance? Their URL.

www.handle the truth.com

I guess any questions as to whether there will be a sequel to the movie have just been answered. I know, times are tough all around, but I would just hate to see where Lt. Weinberg is slumming these days.

Go see the commercial for yourself. It's "COMMERCIAL TWO". And if you live in southeastern VA or NC and you've recently been hurt, I'd give him a call. Seems like you could do a lot worse than the guy who got Col. Jessup to admit he ordered the Code Red.

25 comments:

TJ said...

Nats home opener at 3pm today. I have tickets. But in one of my more egregious planning maneuvers, I had no idea these bums played at 3pm today. Time to delicately extricate myself from cubicle labor in time to see the Nattys notch win #1.

zoltan said...

They should be referred to as the Gnats until they win a game.

The morning show on WEEI in Boston is a bunch of tremendous homers, and even they were ripping Beckett for his bush-league antics.

Whitney said...

What happens if he hits Abreu in the face with that throw?

TJ said...

All I know is Abreu ending up getting the key hit in that game, so point Angels.

Josh Beckett and his pickle juice dipping ways can suck a dick.

Dennis said...

Will the Gnats postpone today's home opener after Harry Kalas drops dead just moments prior??

Text 1 for Yes.
Text 2 for No.
Text 3 for Who's Harry Kalas?

TJ said...

Daniel Cabrera, determined to make the Gnats (hi zoltan!) 0-7.

TJ said...

Someone let Lastings Milledge know he doesn't have to wear a WR number.

TR said...

Whit:

Abreu's steroid jaw would've broken the baseball. That's what would've happened.

TJ said...

Um, Adam Dunn comes to bat to Bob Seger's "Turn the Page"

Whitney said...

That's terrible about Harry Kalas. He was one thing I really enjoyed about a team/city/fan base that I could otherwise do without.

I think they'd have definitely postponed the game were it in Philly, but since it's Washington's home opener, I guess that might've been tough.

rob said...

just heard about harry kalas. that really sucks.

TJ said...

My apologies to Adam Dunn. Much like Phil Collins, he can feel it comin' in the air at night...

Whitney said...

"The Bird" Fidrych died today as well. They just showed one of his games on the MLB network yesterday. Tough day for baseballers.

Shut up, Mark.

Mark said...

Fidrych's death is a shcoker. The circumstances surrounding it are pretty odd as well.

TR said...

And Long Duck Wang's slider died today. The Rays absolutely torched him. His ERA is now a touch under 29.

And BJ Upton made one of the best catches I've ever seen. You have to see the replay from multiple angles to see how hard it was, and how surprising it was that he didn't have a Griffey-esque forearm break in the process.

TR said...

And the Cody Ransom experiment is grinding to a halt for the Yanks. The back-up 3B is now 1 for 22 on the season with a couple errors.

TJ said...

TR, did you see the Reed Johnson catch last night?

TJ said...

They found The Bird under a dump truck at his residence? Um, what?

TR said...

Sorry to keep the suspense for 12.5 hours, but I did see the Reed Johnson catch, Teej. It was indeed ridiculous.

I like the Upton catch because it was so unusual. The guy had his back to the plate a la Willie Mays, but he was at the centerfield wall. There was about one foot of space b/w his chest and the wall. A side replay that showed him sprinting right to the wall showed how ridiculii it was.

Whitney said...

If you wrote an opinion piece or have serious thoughts on the President's choice of a new dog, and if you are not a kindergarten teacher or a stay-at-home parent making it fun for young kids -- and you know who you assjacks in the media are -- please do the following:

1. Shove a jalapeno up your left nostril.

2. Shove a second jalapeno up your right nostril.

3. Take turns punching each side of your nose with increasing force until the jalapenos are smashed, and blood and phlegm flows down your face and you look like the idiot you are sounding like.

rob said...

that's the most exercised i've ever seen whitney about anything remotely close to politics. i approve this message.

TJ said...

And we all know how he feels about exercise.

Dennis said...

The vision of Michael Palin's character, Ken, from A Fish Called Wanda whilst being tortured by Kevin Kline's character, Otto, immediately popped into my head when I read Whit's statement. Just substitute Jalapenos with "chips".

And there was much rejoicing...

TR said...

Chelsea-Liverpool brought the goods today. Man U needs to step it up tomorrow.

TJ said...

Lastings Milledge, headed to Triple A...