Thursday, January 15, 2009

Where in the World is...?

Today's contestant on the just created and soon to fail G:TB game show (that is a blatant rip-off of the Carmen Sandiego program of a similar name) is....

Plaxico Burress.

So, Where in the World is Plax? Why a Carl's Jr. in Centreville (Hi Mayhugh!) Utah in fact (I guess Centreville is near Salt Lake City). You were going to say Lebanon, PA weren't you? Wrong. Plax is like Screwface in "Marked for Death"...he's everywhere.
Man's pistol blasts toilet to pieces

The public toilet at Centerville's Carl's Jr. restaurant never knew what hit it. But police say it was a .40-caliber slug fired from a patron's handgun, which went off as he was hitching up his pants.

Police Lt. Paul Child said the bullet shattered the toilet and sent sharp shards into the man's arm. The minor injuries were treated at the scene.

The toilet? A total loss.

Police said the man told them his pistol fell out of the holster and fired into the toilet as he was pulling up his pants.

"The gun fell out of the holster, striking the tile floor," Child said. "When the gun hit the floor, it went off. ... The man was hit by some of the porcelain in the arm, causing some small lacerations."

No one else was injured in the accident, but a woman in an adjacent restroom reported chest pain after being frightened by the shot. She did not go to a hospital.
Tune in next week when we attempt to locate Willie Aames and Jeremy Hyatt.

25 comments:

TJ said...

Some of these made me laugh quite a bit, so I thought I'd share:

*"play of the week" nfl cheerleader
*Derek Lowe mistress
*steve perry ucla
*tanyon sturtze dating
*pharrell williams cinnamon toast
*fuck you san diego ron burgundy steelers shirt
*"jeff jones" AND basketball AND "melissa stark"
*hotel rwanda lesson plans
*will the colts get tj houshmanzada
*how do you pronounce the name leinart
*lebatard girlfriend
*how to email stan kasten
*we're gonna rob you tonight
*bank robri
*andy rautins mullet
*what's wrong with the Buccaneers 2008
*espn ombudsman Le Anne Schreiber 2009

Rhymenocerous said...

I'm disappointed that Tanyon Sturtze's name was ever mentioned on this blog.

Dammit, we just typed it again.

Mark said...

Andy Rautins' mullet got me. I think I need to do a post on it and see if we can become the internet's #1 source for all things related to Rautins' euro-mullet.

Mark said...

I bet I know where Jeremy Hyatt is...the same place everybody else in America is right now. In front of their tv, getting ready for the MLS Draft. Finally, our long wait is over.

Mark said...

Wait, teams can take timeouts during the MLS Draft?

TJ said...

Is Scott Boras somehow involved in the MLS Draft?

Mark said...

No, but his brother, Bart Boras, is...

TJ said...

Ah yes, Bart, the purple alpaca of the Boras clan.

Greg said...

What about Bort Boras?

Mark said...

Can Greg turn anything into a Simpsons joke?

TJ said...

That's an affirmative ghost rider.

Mark said...

Btw, I say yes.

TJ said...

Percy Harvin is leaving Gainesville.

Mark said...

Expected. However, Brandon Spikes is staying. Florida won't lose a single defensive starter, and my man crush lives for another year.

Shlara said...

TJ--work must be slow for you today. Three posts in three hours.

And, the Jones/Stark ghooghles search is odd. Good story, random connection to GTB.

Greg said...

Jones/Stark Sea Cucumber....

Mark said...

Its not that odd, actually. That story is a favorite for discussion both here and the Wheelhome.

Rhymenocerous said...

This plane crash in the Hudson is crazy. Brought down by a flock of geese, 151 people on board.

Terrible story, but I heard that some folks were evacuated before the plane sank.

Greg said...

I heard everybody survived. I hope there were no pets in the cargo hold though.

Steve said...

apparently the pilot landed the plane in the river, and so far- everyone has survived

Mark said...

I'm mystified that ESPN thinks anybody wants to watch Purdue and Northwestern play basketball.

TJ said...

Lay off Hummel buddy.

TJ said...

I'm hearing "true American hero" being thrown around for this unbelievable plane landing.

Mark said...

Listen, a friend of mine player WR at Purdue and even he said he wasn't watching that shitty game.

TJ said...

I certainly didn't think Northwestern would be up 13 at the half.