Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Hail Fellow, Well Met

Despite appearances to the contrary, we’re not consciously increasing our political content in 2009. It’s just such a rich vein of hypocrisy and egocentrism – the barrel is full of fish to shoot. In the spirit of bipartisan mockery, we turn our attention today to Roland Burris, the prospective junior Senator from Illinois. Nominated by embattled but magnificently coiffed Governor Rod Blagojevich to serve the remainder of President-Elect Barack Obama’s term in Congress, Burris is a modestly distinguished public servant and one of the first African-Americans to win statewide office in Illinois. He seems to have much about which to be proud, or at least satisfied. But pride, as we know, is a deadly sin, friends.

Gaze, if you will, upon the tomb Not Quite Senator Burris and his wife have commissioned as their final resting place, complete with a chiseled litany of accomplishment. Marvel at the outsized hubris required to erect such a monument. Genuflect in humble awe at the power of one man’s ego and then look away, chastened in the knowledge that you’ll never have half the stones of this giant. No, really, I doubt you’ll ever have that many rocks in one place. He'll fit right in if they ever let him on the floor of the Senate.

22 comments:

TJ said...

Perhaps Burris and Franken should meet me and Work Jerry at the Dub today. It's not like they'll have anything else to do.

rob said...

i think america would be better for the resulting policies.

TJ said...

Federal Happy Hours. A salary cap in baseball. Revoking Arbor Day's holiday-ness.

And of course a policy or two Mark and I could get behind.

rob said...

pot with every chicken?

TJ said...

Silly rob. I mean a national healthcare system of course.

zoltan said...

When you said he'll "never have half the stones of this giant" were you referring to your gallstones?

Marlin said...

Love the little bench, just in canse you want to sit and reflect on all of his minor deeds. On the other hand, I am bummed out that he did not spring for an eternal flame. Suzanna Hoffs would be pissed.

PenisGriffin said...

If Ted Stevens and Ted Kennedy are included in this Federal Happy Hour then I could be convinced...

zoltan said...

I'm not sure if this is truly in the spirit of Gheorghe, but it's ridiculous. Especially the part about Gary Payton.

http://tinyurl.com/86n83w

rob said...

mark your calendars, boys - tribe football opens the season against uva in charlottesville on september 5.

Rhymenocerous said...

Cool. We haven't had our asses kicked by them in quite some time.

rob said...

it has been quite some time, hasn't it. last time i saw the tribe in c'ville, i saw jaleel white and junior burroughs together. can't wait to see what this year brings. gtb road trip?

TJ said...

Big Z, nothing can beat Kemp...but that was a great link. We appreciate the effort, especially since only rob plans to post in 2009.

Shlara said...

Zoltan, loved that story. Totally shocked about Scott Skiles--didn't think that many chicks dig him. And there are a lot of former/current Wizards on that list.

On another, somewhat related note, did anyone else see the police report about Barkley's DUI on the Smoking Gun. Specifically his reason for running the stop sign?

Mark said...

Yes, I did. And it seems like a perfectly logical reason to me.

rob said...

shlara, whenever you're ready to write that bullets expose, we've got plenty of column inches free.

TJ said...

Kudos to Siena for heading to Kansas at this point in the season...tho it would be nice if they won.

Rhymenocerous said...

Bobby Cremins is the head coach at C of Charleston. I did not know this. I look forward to seeing him and his hair again soon.

Davidson-Duke should be interesting tonight. Maybe we'll see the lovely Mrs. Curry in the crowd. And her husband Sinbad.

Geoff said...

Cremins has been living in Hilton Head, SC since he left the Ramblin Wreck (not too far from Charleston). I know this because he shares an orthopedist with my mother...

zoltan said...

That's funny. I share your mother with an orthopedist.

rob said...

zing.

saw cremins coaching against davidson last week. he looks ollllld. but his team looked good.

Rhymenocerous said...

That's a sweet gig for Cremins. Live on the beach in SC and coach at a school with low expectations.