Friday, June 13, 2008

David Stern is having a really, really bad week...

(Walks in through the door without knocking)

Hey, nice place you guys have here. (Puts lit cigarette out on the couch) Sure, I'll make myself at home. Thanks for the invite.

In case you don't know, my name's Mark and I'm the newest member of the G:TB family. Which is interesting, since I've met exactly one of these guys before. What can I say? I'm an overwhelmingly charismatic fella. Women want me...Men want to be like me. Or something like that. Anyway, I figured I'd use this morning to make my debut 'round these parts since I'm sure I'm the only guy who frequents this blog that was actually awake during the Celtics' stirring second half comeback last night. In case you missed it, and I bet you did, here's a quick summary of what it did to L.A.'s title hopes:



You know, the only way I could've enjoyed last nights comeback more is if James Posey had replicated that play on Japanese Beef Bryant. I don't know, I guess its something in me that doesn't care for cold, calculating, manipulative, duplicitous rapists. I'm old fashioned like that.

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah...the game. Well, TJ has been talking about how "Charmin soft" Pau Gasol is for weeks now and last night's second half only served to prove his point (Lamar Odom didn't exactly enhance his rep last night either). Boston played Posey at PF for most of the 4th and he came up huge, hitting a number of tough 3s, further cementing his rep as one of the league's most clutch playoff shooters. Kind of a Robert Horry lite, if you will. Due to the presence of Posey and Eddie House, the Celtics were able to effectively spread the Lakers defense out, which allowed Pierce and Allen to repeatedly drive to the hoop on that weak Laker frontcourt.

Offensively, the Lakers were a mess and Kobe couldn't do a damn thing to save them as Pierce hounded him into a 6-19 shooting night. Somewhere, Shaquille O'Neal was smiling. So thats it, folks. These Finals are over. Not officially. That will happen on Father's Day. Which will be a nice double "fuck you" to the Mamba. I mean, you know those aren't his kids right? Nope. They belong to Karl Malone.

47 comments:

TJ said...

I like that The Rook brought footage of the clothesline for his first post. Well played.

Whitney said...

It's really just kissing up to Teejay to include a YouTube clip on Mark's first post.

The fact that it was a memorable sports clip and not a candy bar commercial or a Schwarzenegger movie means it has crossover appeal, though.

Mark said...

Whitney saw right through me.

TJ said...

Today is Friday the 13th so I had something special lined up for you ingrates.

Fuck it now. I'm taking my clip and going home.

rob said...

i'll admit it. i fell asleep with the celtics down 11 in the 3rd.

Whitney said...

Let me guess -- that Arnold Schwarzenegger Snickers ad?

Just kidding, old boy. Fire away.

I can't wait to see Kevin Bacon in the 1st Friday the 13th movie.

Mark said...

So you feel asleep as the comeback was really ramping up Rob?

Thats awful.

Whitney said...

107-year-old NH man to lead Andover alumni parade
He snubbed Edison, Bogart


CONCORD, N.H. - A 107-year-old man who once turned down a job offer from Thomas Edison has been chosen to lead a parade at the Massachusetts prep school he graduated from 90 years ago. C. Yardley Chittick of Concord is the last surviving member of the class of 1918 at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass.

"I'm honored a lot these days," said Chittick, who is scheduled to lead the alumni parade Saturday for the third year. "It's only taken me this long to be recognized."

After MIT, Chittick became a patent lawyer and at one point refused a job from Edison. He said Edison gave him a 150-question test before offering him the job.

Chittick took a job in the golf club industry instead because it sounded like more fun. A few years ago, he said he asked for a copy of the test from the Thomas Edison Museum and was shown the original with Edison's handwriting in the margins.

While at Andover, Chittick got into a scuffle with fellow student and future actor Humphrey Bogart after he refused to polish Bogart's shoes.

"Somehow or other I didn't like him. He didn't like me," Chittick said. "I polished all the shoes on the floor, but I wouldn't shine Bogie's."



The lesson here, of course, is that if you live long enough, you can tell whoppers about famous people and there's nobody alive who can debunk your crap stories.

rob said...

when whitney's 107, people may actually believe that he's bruce springsteen.

rob said...

and mark, in my defense, i ran 4 miles and drank a beer last night.

yeah, that was an awful display on my part.

Mark said...

This is pretty much what Sasha Vujacic had to say about his matador defense on Ray Allen's clinching layup:

"I tried to guard him for 48 minutes (not true) and everything I did was a foul (also not true). It was a good shot."

Hey douche, how about not letting him get to his right hand? I don't know, thats just what my youth league coach told me once.

rob said...

i'm enjoying the mark era at gtb.

TJ said...

Let's see - some swearing, some basketball knowledge, a YouTube clip - I think I'm out of a job.

rob said...

he's a big conference guy. as long as you still love the america east and the caa, you've got a place.

Zoltan said...

The guy in the apartment next to me was watching an HD channel or something because he would scream and cheer about 3 seconds before anything good happened for the Celtics on my TV. I watched the whole game but it wasn't as exciting as it could have been, thanks to Kreskin next door.

rob said...

over/under on strokes taken by justin hicks at torrey pines today?

i'll say 78.

Geoff said...

I'll take the under. I say he puts up a 75. I'll put Tiger down for a 71 and Phil for a 70.

rob said...

down goes streelman. down goes streelman.

rob said...

i always thought the olson twins were hopelessly and unattractively waifish. the picture here would seem to indicate otherwise:

http://sentenceofdave.blogspot.com/

huh.

TJ said...

This next Red Sox/Rays series should be a doozy:

"In my opinion, it is a bunch of bull what they did," Papelbon said on "Mohegan Sun Sports Tonight" on Comcast Sportsnet, referring to last week's brawl between the two teams. "All I got to say is what comes around goes around, man. Payback's a b----, I'll tell you what."

Mark said...

That's a lovely picture and should probably adorn a post sometime in the near future, at least for the sake of upping pageviews.

rob said...

papelbon deserves his own reality show.

rob said...

and jonny gomes is getting a heater in his ear.

TJ said...

There's no way that photo is real, but it hasn't stopped me from looking at it a dozen times.

TJ said...

Some dude named Artemio Murakami is 7 over on the day, and he's only on the 6th hole.

This might be fun to track...

TJ said...

Good ol' fashioned American ingenuity:

http://www.obamacondoms.com/
http://www.mccaincondoms.com/

rob said...

call me naive, but i believe everything i see/read on the internet.

rob said...

really heartbreaking that the italians had a goal reversed on a bad call. heartbreaking.

Mark said...

I'm all torn up about it too. In fact, I just called my girlfriends father (who's was born & raised in Italy), laughed at him and hung up.

TJ said...

Just went back to that photo for the 20th time...I think my IT dept. has contacted the Feds.

TJ said...

I just called Mayhugh...said nothing...and hung up.
/very old joke for 4

Mark said...

Romania scores on a horrible back pass by Zambrotta and the stadium explodes was techno music begins blaring in the background. Thats a nice sequence of events.

Mark said...

Well, fuck.

Mark said...

Italy's starting to dominate this game. I probably shouldn't have made that phone call.

TJ said...

Next time Mark, let your fingers do the talking.

Dennis said...

Oh man, I forgot about the Mayhugh bit...I'm weak.

And so, let me get this straight - Mark is not Mayhugh?

TJ said...

That's correct "Dennis".

Mark said...

Romania is living dangerously right now. The ball is seemingly always in their box with Italy unable to get that one last crucial touch.

Mark said...

No Dennis, I'm not.

And Romania was jsut awarded a PK.

Mark said...

Wow, what a save by Buffon!

That was a rocket that he reached back to get.

One more thing, why does Buffon get to wear a bandana/neckerchief with his uniform. God, I hate Italians.

rob said...

it's inexcusable to miss a pk.

have i ever told you that i was the middle states soccer camp pk champion in 1985? well, i was.

rob said...

i also won the lady byng award. i'm sportsmanlike like a motherfucker.

Mark said...

I heard some om at the gym bragging to her friend about how her son had won the "Sportsmanship Award" for his high school team. Of course, I immediately said to myself, "Thats because your son sucks".

Mark said...

The flopping in this game is officially out of control. Shocking that this would happen in a game featuring Italy, I know.

Whitney said...

I'm not sure why you're surprised by clownish bandanna attire from a guy who's perpetually just one lazy ring finger away from being keyed in as "Buffoon."

Whitney said...

Dennis, Mark is Mayhugh, but it's this little game he likes to play. He has a few issues.

And Rob, boasting about your sportsmanship award is a masterstroke.

rob said...

thank you. thank you very much.