Last night, the Cincinnati Reds lost to the Toronto Blue Jays 14-1. Not a good showing by Dusty's crew. Especially Mr. Arroyo, who managed to become the sixth starting pitcher in baseball history to give up at least 10 ER while getting no more than 3 outs. Congrats Bronson - now you and Jason Jennings have something to talk about. I think a blow-up like this deserves the batter-by-batter breakdown:
Bottom of 1st: Bronson Arroyo pitching for Cincinnati
(I wonder what song I should start my set with at The Java Hut later? Maybe some Clapton? Wow, Marco Scutaro still has a job?)
M Scutaro reached on infield single to second.
J Inglett walked, M Scutaro to second.
A Rios singled to left, M Scutaro to third, J Inglett to second.
(Fuck, this is not going well at all. I've never even heard of that Inglett kid. And I think Dusty's sound asleep right now.)
V Wells struck out swinging.
(Yeah...maybe I'll start with "It's In The Way That You Use It")
M Stairs hit sacrifice fly to left, M Scutaro scored.
(Dude, not cool.)
S Rolen homered to center, J Inglett and A Rios scored.
(Ugh. I might hate Rolen even more than LaRussa.)
L Overbay doubled to right.
G Zaun homered to right, L Overbay scored.
(Can someone call down to the pen for me? Obviously Dusty isn't gonna do it.)
A Lind singled to center.
M Scutaro singled to center, A Lind to second.
(Seriously, Scutaro's up again? I wonder if Votto and Bruce will like the silk shirts I got them?)
J Inglett grounded into fielder's choice to third, M Scutaro out at second.
(Hallelujah. And get me the hell out of here.)
6 Runs, 7 Hits, 0 Errors
Bottom of 2nd: Bronson Arroyo pitching for Cincinnati
(God damn it, I don't want to go back out here. Dusty sucks ass. Christ, here comes that anorexic Rios again. Someone feed this guy a sandwich.)
A Rios homered to left.
(Not a steroid sandwich. Damn it. I wish I had my guitar.)
V Wells reached on infield single to third.
M Stairs doubled to deep right center, V Wells scored.
(I think I'll go with "Pretending" instead.)
M Stairs to third on wild pitch by B Arroyo.
(Hey, anyone watching? I did that on purpose. Earth to Dusty, get someone out here NOW!)
S Rolen doubled to left, M Stairs scored.
(Duuuuuuuuuuuude, not cool at all. Wait...wait...is that Gary warming up? Damn right it is. I can't wait to rock some acoustic guitar later.)
G Majewski relieved B Arroyo.
And of course Majewksi lets Rolen score later in the inning, giving Arroyo that nice round number of 10ER allowed. The line, once again:
1 IP, 11H, 10ER, 1BB, 1K, 3HR
Arroyo's ERA rose an entire run after this stellar performance (he's still winless in June too). Hit the showers kid...and start packing your bags. You're not long for this Reds team, no matter how awful you pitch. And last night, well, last night was truly atrocious.