Monday, May 02, 2005

Sunday School

Begin with a 2-foot kick-in for my first birdie of the year . . . which the missus wouldn't concede and I proceeded to botch. Lesson learned: If you want to lie and tell your boys you had a good round of golf, make sure your wife isn't playing with you. Move to a nice relaxing afternoon viewing of the film, Hotel Rwanda. Lesson learned here: You are a shitty, shitty Western white man. Give all of your 2005 salary to Amnesty International and the Red Cross. Oh, and don't kill people no matter how much you hate them - it's bad. They said so in the movie.

Ah, the nightcap . . . "Family Guy" is some show. Nice to see it back in action. That talking baby kills me every time. Doesn't matter what he says or does. And the pinnochio bit, the "time I forgot how to sit down" bit . . . foof. Couldn't get better. Oh wait, turn the channel, and there's Rosie O'Donnell playing a special (like, Greg Maddux special) woman on a CBS original drama (comedy). Jesus tits, now that's good stuff. Sweet dreams, Dennis.

5 comments:

T.J. said...

The highlight of Family Guy was the cameo by the guy who tried to kill Burr over a Nats t-shirt.

T.J. said...

Gee, and I thought it was Oscar-worthy:

XXX: State of the Union reviews

- Joel Siegel of ABC's Good Morning America sums up XXX: State of the Union in seven words: "Great toys, neat action, not much else." He concludes by remarking: "This is the silliest big-budget movie I have ever seen."

- David Hiltbrand in the Philadelphia Inquirer doesn't spare the disparaging hyperbole, either. "State of the Union concludes with a stunningly unconvincing, uninteresting and unsuspenseful chase of a bullet train, one of the worst sequences in cinematic history," he writes.

- Glenn Whipp in the Los Angeles Daily News calls it "an earsplitting, freakishly over-the-top finale that seems born either of desperation or a bender that would make Hunter S. Thompson proud."

- Stephen Hunter in the Washington Post remarks that the movie "is so primitive, it must have been written in lizard blood on animal skin."

- Manohla Dargis in the New York Times refers to the "nitwit story" and its "mercilessly bad dialogue." She remarks that the production is all about "casting actresses who are easily upstaged by their breasts and young actors ... who look as if they should be warbling in a boy band."

- Peter Howell in the Toronto Star chastises director Lee Tamahori (Once Were Warriors) from going "from New Zealand talent to Hollywood sell-out" with this film.

Geoff said...

Hello? Anyone?

Isn't about time for TeeJay to post a bunch of randomly selected movie quotes that he cut and pasted off of imdb.com followed by some brief and completely unrelated sports shorts?

T.J. said...

That's Friday's bit. Shouldn't you be too hungover to type?

Geoff said...

I kept it between the navigational beacons last night...I mean, I drank, but in what they call "moderation"...