Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Most of these guys never had a prime...this guy here is dead

GTB TWIB Notes (with all due respect to Mel Allen)

Last night was by far the best seats I have ever had, 7 rows behind home plate, with a pre-game buffet and complimentary ballpark fare throughout the game, served by the best waiters and waitresses I have ever seen (wink, wink, nod, nod). Too bad the Nationals decided not to show up. Brady Clark hit the first pitch of the night a very long way, setting the tone for the whupping. Claudio Vargas of the Nats assured himself of another stint in the minors, allowing 6 runs and getting 4 outs. When Tomo Ohka has to save your ass, pack your bags kid. Some donkey named Wes Obermueller of the Brewers sat down the first 19 Nats he faced before Jamey Carroll ruined his perfect game in the 7th, drawing the only noticeable cheer of the night from an announced crowd of 26,000 that looked more like 13,000. Who cares though – have I mentioned how money these seats were? Even Boo Radley sitting next to the Future Missus and mumbling to himself all night couldn’t ruin these seats.

I pondered naming this post “Derrek Lee is fucking awesome”, because honestly, he is. Could you imagine how bad it would be for the Cubbies if not for D Lee? Last night, Lee went 4 for 4 with two homers and drove in all of the Cubs' runs in a 4-3 win over the Pirates. Plus he’s carrying my fantasy team, which is nice.

“Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip” - The Cubs have signed 80 year old infielder Enrique Wilson to a one-year contract. Don’t the Cubs already have Neifi Perez and Jose Macias? Aren’t these all the same guy?

Best name in the minors, Tagg Bozied, a 1B in the Padres system.

Mike Lupica is mailing it in this morning, writing the Clemens to the Yankees story, the first of what I assume will be 100 more columns like it in the next 6 weeks. Mitch Albom has written a column saying Clemens is already a Yankee because the usher in Section 104 told him it will happen.

A heads up to the folks tallying the MLB All-Star ballots – Larry Bigbie (#3) is going to get one vote. You can blame the young lady sitting to my left last night. Oh yeah, Calvin Pickering will be getting one vote as well, and for that I take full responsibility.

The Yankees (and to a lesser extent the Red Sox) have lobbied the Commissioner’s office to play the A’s and Mariners the rest of the season.

This has nothing to do with baseball, but only 1 day left until Episode III debuts. In honor of this historic moment, I leave you with this Star Wars link, perhaps the funniest Conan O’Brien segment of all time.

15 comments:

Whitney said...

Mitch Albom actually ripped off that story from a story in The Daily Press.

T.J. said...

Wow, is that a shout out to Hampton Roads' finest publication?

Geoff said...

Mitch Albom's ears are burning...and it's a 9 alarm fire.

T.J. said...

Zing. And Jim Rome's crotch is still burning.

T.J. said...

That is fucking cold:

CHAPEL HILL, N.C.
A 16-year-old boy was accused of shooting his wealthy parents to death in the family home, the same weekend he attended his high school prom.

Geoff said...

I don't really see how the prom makes it any better or worse.

T.J. said...

Killing your folks, then heading off to the prom, seems to be pretty hardcore. Maybe that's just me.

Geoff said...

Ah, I didn't realize that he offed mom and pops and then went to pick up his corsage.

T.J. said...

The vibe I got from the article was that not only did he savagely butcher mom and dad, then go slow dance to Stairway to Heaven, he had friends over for a party that weekend, with the folks decomposing and wrapped up in blankets in a locked room.

T.J. said...

OK, maybe I'm late to this dance, but what is with all these people putting inspirational quotes at the end of their emails? Is this an epidemic? Do I look like I care?

T.J. said...

Ryan Dempster...two saves in two days...booyah

Geoff said...

No, you look like Michael Rappaport and Beetlejuice had a baby.

T.J. said...

You mean this Beetlejuice right?

T.J. said...

http://www.jollydwarf.com/

Geoff said...

Clearly.