LUNCHTIME BONUS:
It is so nice to see Brian Austin Green getting work again. In case you're a big BAG fan like me, he can be seen opposite Britney Spears on the new show "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic", Tuesdays, 9pm on your local UPN affiliate.
This fact absolutely amazed me. The NBA had to change the rules for free throws back in the day (say it to yourself like Stephen A. Smith, trust me its high-larious) because Wilt Chamberlain could DUNK FROM THE FOUL LINE. I mean, are you fucking kidding me?
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Is Superstation WGN contractually obligated to show a Charles Bronson movie at least once a day?
I think it's time to throw the phrase "thrown under the bus" under the bus...who's with me?
OK, so Shaq didn't exactly dominate as I had predicted...damn Pistons...In other news, do you think it's OK to put Dwayne Wade's Hall of Fame induction speech in the drawer for a little while?
The force is with you young Ticket Taker, but you are not a Jedi yet...SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Authorities say they haven't made any arrests in last night's robbery of a Springfield movie theater.
Springfield police Lieutenant Dave Dodson says a man wearing a Darth Vader mask walked into the Showplace Eight theater around nine-15 p-m last night. He says the man shoved an employee out of the way and grabbed an undetermined amount of cash before running out of the theater and into a nearby wooded area.
No weapons were displayed.
Read that last sentence again. Do you get the feeling they were hoping for a light saber?
Afternoon Update: If you thought the above was bad, look at these fucking morons...
Two Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after apparently trying to make light sabres by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol. A man, aged 20, and a girl of 17 are believed to have been filming a mock duel when they poured fuel into two glass tubes and lit it. The pair were rushed to hospital after one of the devices exploded in woodland at Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire.
This is what happens when you're a 900 year old lefty specialist...Twins left-hander Terry Mulholland was hurt by the end of a feather sticking out of his pillow when he rolled over in bed at the team hotel.
If only he could throw out baserunners they way he throws out compliments...Mike Piazza broke away from the Mets' pregame stretch when he saw conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh in the front row of the stands. Limbaugh signed a baseball for Piazza's brother, Vincent, who is the head of the Republican Party in Montgomery County, Pa.
"It was like meeting American royalty," gushed Piazza, who compared meeting Limbaugh to meeting George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, General Douglas MacArthur and the Pope.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
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12 comments:
Hey ma, how bout some cookies.
No Dice.
This ain't over.
No, this is Bronson.
Un-fucking-believable:
"As he left the stand, Leno made sure to mention that Renee Zellweger was appearing on the "Tonight Show" this evening."
I'm guessing his testimony mixed in some funny headlines from around the nation. Tomorrow, Rich Hall will be testifying on the importance of Sniglets.
Ah yes, sniglets, words that don't appear in the dictionary but should.
Headline:
"Child Population Dwindles in San Francisco"
I'll give you two guesses why.
Soaring health care costs and erectile dysfunction?
I was gonna go with the promise of safer streets and better schools in the suburbs and too many Cher concerts.
If they bring it back, BAG would be a perfect fit to eb the new JAG. I'll run it by my dad and get back to you. I caught Don during the "cocktail hour" last night, and he had some choice words for the moderate republicans who brokered this fillibuster deal. If Lindsey Graham thinks my dad is gonna vote for him in '08, he's got another thing coming.
And you can take it out on John "Malcolm Jamal" Warner.
(Sorry SG) Oh Drew Gooden you are sooooooooo dumb:
"I've had to overcome a lot of diversity." -- Drew Gooden discussing his NBA career.
Lindsey is a girl's name.
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