I think Steve Perry speaks for us all...

...or at least the three of us rooting for a CAA bracket invasion:

After a wild day in the major conference tournaments, I think ODU and Drexel have real reason to believe they'll be Dancing come Sunday. Not to bombard you with the same stuff again, but a little housecleaning from these previous posts:

Joe Lunardi's last four in (and yes, it pains me greatly to have Joe Lunardi playing Peter at the gates of Bracket Heaven). Looks like G:TB got to Mr. Lunardi.
Purdue - Iowa could sack up and help us here by winning this one.
Illinois - Same with enigmatic Indiana squad.
Drexel - Howdy Bruiser!
Old Dominion - Let them play...let them play...
**G:TB is also declaring Syracuse and Michigan State as IN.

Welcome to the NIT chumps
Clemson - I gotta admit, tough way to lose a game. I didn't see much of a foul on that final play.
Alabama - Truly a bunch of bamas.
Depaul - I've already forgotten these guys.
UMass - Watching 2007 A-10 basketball is about an enjoyable as having a car door slammed on your hand...repeatedly.
Fresno State - Um, yeah, we haven't really discussed these guys. Don't have to now.
Providence - Herbert Hill, future MVP of NIT Final Four.

Just lose today so we can forget about you
Oklahoma State - I don't see A&M dropping this game.
Michigan - Tommy will find a way to fuck this up.
Kansas State - Bob Knight vs. Bob Huggins - wow, this is really hard, which guy do I want to root for less?
Arkansas - I have a bad feeling Arkansas might cause some tension over the weekend.
Georgia - Even the Drizzle has given up on these guys.
Miss State - If the SEC West is as atrocious as we think, Kentucky wins this game easily.
Ole Miss - Let's see if I was right about LSU having a run in them.

Please just win your suck-ass conference title
Xavier - God I hate the A-10.
Memphis - When do we reach the point where Conference USA loses their automatic bid?

Long weekend ahead
Air Force - What did I tell you about Air Force and Wyoming? Honestly, go look at Air Force's schedule - they are in real trouble.
Stanford - They had their chances...
Missouri State - These guys might be getting the Oz treatment two years in a row. Maybe they should try winning at least one game against the other MVC powers.
West Virginia - Very enjoyable team to watch, and if G:TB had their way, WVU is in as well (as long as it is not at the expense of our CAA darlings).
Florida State - Only if they lose today. If they beat Carolina today they're in.

Thank you very little
Syracuse - Drexel would've like one of these teams to make a deep run in the Big East tourney.
Villanova - Nice start yesterday fellas...

EDITOR'S ADDENDUM: Michael Litos at The CAA: Life as a Mid-Major checks in this morning with an eye-opening (if self-serving and admittedly biased - hey, someone's got to be biased in favor of the little guys) comparison of Duke and Drexel. Bottom line is that the 2 are very, very comparable, and that Drexel's willingness to go on the road - the real road, not neutral court exhibitions - and play (and beat) tough non-conference foes stands out in stark contrast to the Blue Devils' (and nearly all major conference schools, for that matter) phobia of doing the same. Drexel won 13 freaking true road games this season - if they don't get in, the committee is guilty of the worst kind of hypocrisy.

GTB Conference Tourney Rooting Guide

Rob thought we owed our readers (presumptuous on the plural I think) a primer on who to root for and against over the next several days from our obviously CAA-biased perspective. Here's what we've come up with...remember, the ultimate goal here is Old Dominion AND Drexel joining VCU in the Dance:

Root Against:
WVU - As much as this pains us, because we at G:TB (Rob insists on doing the acronym this way) are huge John Beilein fans.
Depaul - Hot of late and could sneak in with a big run at MSG. Sammy Mejia is a baller.
FSU/Clemson winner - The loser's probably out, but it'd be better for the CAA if Clemson wins this first round matchup.
Illinois, Michigan, and Purdue - All three teams are competing for the same bubble slots as our beloved Monarchs and Dragons (oh my). Iowa needs to bow out quietly after dumping Purdue in the first round of the Big 10 tourney.
Air Force - The Falcons are slumping, but most experts have them in the dance. An early exit in the MWC tourney could change that.
Alabama, Mississippi State, Tennessee and Georgia - The SEC is surprisingly thin, but these guys need to go down early. Like their cheerleaders.
Stanford - Just because they've got a guy named Robin on their squad.
Kansas State - Hey, Huggy-bear, you're a dick. And a drunk.
Anyone other than Xavier in the A-10 - The conference is a joke, but Xavier could steal an at-large if they win a few in the tourney and don't win the title.

Root For:
Syracuse - Damn right we're rooting for Cuse. (Note - that's TJ's opinion. It pains me grievously to root for the Orange, but I'm doing it for the cause)
Villanova - Because we like Scottie Reynolds, and because Cuse and Nova wins make Drexel's strong resume even stronger.
Georgetown - Each win for JT3's boys helps ODU.
Every top seed in every conference, especially Memphis, BYU, UNLV, and Xavier.

It's a mess, a glorious, my-company's-not-getting-any-production-from-me-for-the-next-3-weeks sort of mess. Roll 'em out and strap 'em on (I assure you Rob is not gay, though sometimes he makes us wonder).

EDITOR'S NOTE: A quick check of the scoreboard reminds me that we're also rooting against the University of Richmond, just on principle. G:TB has an intense dislike of Spidey, and chuckles often at the karmic boomerang that drilled U of R square in the forehead following its decision to abandon the CAA for the fool's gold of the Atlantic 10.

We want the Dunk, gotta have that Dunk...

In this day and age, I am sure this video has already popped up somewhere on the eBays, but it's the first time I've seen it, so I thought I would share. By the way, it would take Nate Robinson 137 attempts to even get close on this.

My favorite part might be the announcer's reaction midway through the clip. Is that dumbfounded fellow Dee Brown?

Well, we've been touting them all year...

...and last night the VCU Rams made us look good by clinching the CAA's automatic bid with a gritty, gutty 65-59 victory over last year's darling George Mason, in a game Mason looked almost assured of winning at the two minute mark. But that's when VCU's sophomore point guard Eric Maynor absolutely took over, twice picking the pockets of Patriots ballhandlers on the way to 5 straight points, followed by a fantastic off-balance leaner in the paint, and two free throws on a dumb intentional foul to seal it for VCU. Congrats to Coach Anthony Grant and his team. I feel bad for the 5 or 6 seed who face these guys in Round 1.

March Sadness

While teams like Creighton, Winthrop, Davidson, Belmont, Penn and Eastern Kentucky spent the weekend securing automatic bids, and Villanova, Notre Dame and Georgia Tech got wins to lock up at-large bids (in my humble opinion), some teams decided to spend the weekend shooting themselves in the foot. [Off in the distance, a few other teams, like Clemson and Washington, got big wins to creep back to the brackets' outer edge, but they will need solid league tourney runs to truly get back in the conversation.] Here is a quick recap of those teams who made the next week unnecessarily stressful for coaches, players, fans and boosters alike:

Oklahoma State - Do you realize the Cowboys have yet to win a true road game this year? (yes, yes, they do have five neutral court wins) Baylor's 4 point win yesterday kept Okie State winless on the road. They are d-u-n done, win over Nebraska tomorrow night or not. Pretty fast fall from the 15-2 start (they are 20-10 now).

Alabama - Losing by 24 to Mississippi State, even without Ronald Steele, is pretty terrible. The SEC West is the Atlantic Division of college hoops. Bama ends the year on a 2-5 skid, and when you look at their schedule, who's their best win - Xavier? Kentucky? Simply not enough heft, and I think they join Okie St. on the outside looking in next Sunday.

Georgia - The loss to Tennessee, coupled with the losses to Kentucky and Ole Miss in the last two weeks, screams "NIT" to me.

Providence - A 13 point loss to St. John's is bad news for the Friars. They fell to 10th in the Big East and have very few quality wins (BC, Marquette) to hang their hat on. It will take a significant run at Madison Square Garden to save them (if it happens, the rest of the country will finally get to see how good Herbert Hill is).

Illinois - I realize no one wins in Iowa City, but to me this was a must win game for the Illini. Now, they do have wins over tourney-bound Big Ten teams Indiana and Michigan State, as well as a split with fellow bubble dweller Michigan.

Michigan - Speaking of Meeechegan, what a complete and utter collapse in the Ohio State game. The Wolverines didn't score in the final 3:54, with a missed dunk and front end of a 1-and-1 being the final nails. Fire Tommy Amaker right now. Seriously.

Syracuse - I hate to put my Orange on here, but the loss to Villanova hurts, especially if the Cuse lose their first round game to UConn. All the good of the Georgetown win will have disappeared in the eyes of the committee, but I still think 21 total wins and 10 Big East wins gets them in.

Old Dominion - Ran into the weekend buzzsaw that was George Mason. The Patriots, only 9-9 in regular season play, can suddenly throw a major wrench into the CAA's quest for 3 bids. Mason is playing like a team possessed, and dominated the Monarchs from the get go this evening. I still think ODU is getting in (the win at Georgetown, the sweep of Drexel and the RPI in the mid-30s), but I'm sure PackerNantz wants them out now.

Hofstra - The third place team in the CAA is done after losing to George Mason in the CAA quarterfinals. Get a better nickname.

Bradley - That Southern Illinois tip-in sent Bradley to the NIT. Given GTB's blatant cheerleading for VCU this year, we wouldn't have minded the Braves getting that win and a shot at the MVC title. Oh well, sorry fellas.

Missouri State - A looong week (again) for these guys, though Creighton's upset of SIU could work in their favor (losing by 17 doesn't though). Again, I think they should still get in, but here's another team PackerNantz will badmouth come Selection Sunday. HOWEVAH, unlike last year, when Mizzou St had zero quality non-conference wins, this year the Bears can point to their upset of Wisconsin in late November.

Air Force - Yikes, the last two weeks are not going well for them...they fell to 4th place in the Mountain West and have to play their Kryptonite Kollege, Wyoming, in a quarterfinal game. Win that game though and they are in (they are most likely comfortable now, but you don't want to end the year on a 4 game slide).

Appalachian St - The loss to College of Charleston in OT in the Southern semifinals hurts. Excellent wins at Wichita State and VCU, and against Virginia and Vanderbilt (in Puerto Rico) help, but Appy St might be brushed under the rug by not making the conference final.

Drexel - Still should be the third CAA team to make the Dance, especially given Creighton's victory in the MVC final. I hate to harp on this, but PackerNantz probably thinks these guys are unworthy too. Well Billy, I'll help you out - they have road wins against Syracuse, Villanova, the aforementioned Creighton and Vermont (the Am East regular season champ and possible conference champ). They were 14-4 0n the road overall. They have the resume of an at-large team. Rack me, I'm out.

Stanford - I don't know if they belong on this list, but to me that loss to Arizona means they really need to win at least one game in the PAC-10 tourney to feel safe. I think (they do have wins over Virginia, USC, Oregon and UCLA on their plate). Either way, the Tree is getting hammered next Sunday.

500 is a pretty big number...but then again I'm easily impressed

I guess it might not be too hard to imagine, given the amount of YouTube clips and random, short Drudge-stolen posts we've (OK, mainly me) done in the past, but you are actually reading Gheorghe: The Blog's 500th post right now. And really, what better way to say "We've given you 500 quality posts" than compiling the best of GTB, pasted below in no particular order. My raging hangover is actually making this much harder than you would think:

I would be remiss if I didn't begin at the beginning, as some donkey once said. And that means our mission statement. God bless Rob for starting this, and then letting me take the reins. It makes days like this a whole lot better.

I have actually "met" Gheorghe, and boy, was it awkward (reading that post, you would think I never took an English class in my life).

GTB is indeed a clearinghouse of nonsense, and these two recaps of my fantastic trips to the MCI (née Verizon) Center certainly fit in that category. Gheorghe writes the songs the whole world sings.

Sometimes Whit or Rob pop in, when not working at Misery Loves Company, and actually give you the loyal reader (Hi Mark!) quality content.

As the Madness approaches, it's always appropriate to have an intelligent Billy Packer debate, GTB-style of course.

YouTube is the greatest thing to hit the interweb since some funny dude known only as the Boston Sports Guy was discovered.

Jerry and Geoff (the Wheelhouse fellas) have gotten very frustrated with me in the past. But "news" articles like this need to be mentioned... it's my civic duty.

A lot has happened over the last 4 years for the men of Gheorghe... our boy Dennis just had a baby boy on Sunday, I got married not too long ago, Whitney has transitioned from the easiest job known to man to a nightmare gig (all at the same place) and Rob has somehow gotten shorter.

I have a well-documented (and unhealthy) obsession with super murderer O.J. Simspon.

The Washington Nationals came to town, and it has been a welcome reprieve to visit RFK instead of trekking to the STD capital of the world, Baltimore.

Hell, the Wizards have even gotten good since GTB began.

Rob got the sports moment of his life in 2004, at the expense of my beloved Yankees. Tough tough times.

We first learned of the joy that is Deadspin sometime in 2005, and eventually Will was even kind enough to link to us. We created a mini-controversey with this Sloth/Chris Shelton post, which apparently was a physical comparison many on the eBays were making.

Recently, the Washington Post made the excellent move to bump Mr. Tony in favor of the DC Sports Bog, which is required morning reading for sure, and father-to-be Dan over there has treated the boys of GTB kindly as we crusade for VCU in this year's march to the madness.

I have been hungover countless times trying to post things, and I think this pic perfectly sums up how I feel on those days (and today for that matter). And yes, that big goofy guy is indeed me.

GTB's buddies on the right-hand side of this page have grown over time, but Drunk and Stupid and the Wheelhouse and MLC have been here since the beginning. As has Michael Jack's utterly useless Hot Action.

Jim Rome, 1st Team Anti-Gheorghe.

All right, time to do 10 minutes or so of real work. Perhaps Rob and Whit will tack a few more favorites onto this list before the day is done. Frankly, I'm shocked we didn't make this list (I am 100% joking by the way...the guys on this list are fantastic).

Am I the only guy who loved Ford Fairlane?

I'm willing to bet the answer to that question is a resounding "YES". In that case, this bit of "news" is both boring and inconsequential to everyone (come on Mark, I'm betting you dig the Diceman), but I still felt it was worth mentioning, AND I got to squeeze in a YouTube clip...really, an exhilarating afternoon all around...

ANDREW DICE CLAY RESURFACES IN VH1'S 'DICE UNDISPUTED'
NEW YORK, Feb. 26 -- The self-titled "Rocky of Comedy," Andrew Dice Clay, is coming out of retirement and he's pulling out all stops to do it with a multi-media blitz -- writing a book, cutting a record, producing his own Sirius radio show and playing to the types of crowds that made him a legend. In the VH1 series "Dice Undisputed" viewers will get an intimate and often hilarious look into the highs and lows of this heavyweight king of laugh's personal and professional life as he fights to get back on top. "Dice Undisputed" premieres with back-to-back episodes Sunday, March 4 at 10:00 PM.

I've got room in the DVR - this can replace the freshly departed "Studio 60". I mean, this can't be any worse than the Sizemore or Bonaduce shows right? And don't even get me started on that "I Love New York" debacle...

I think Pat Ewing Jr. needs some counseling

That is one angry looking kid on the basketball court. Perhaps he needs a soothing father-son dinner at Crystal City Restaurant to help ease his pain...All right, enough amateur psycho-analysis, let's move on to what is most likely GTB's last Local Hoops Top 10 of the season (try to contain your tears):

[Important note: RPIs used are from the fantastic Ken Pomeroy website (as of Sunday night)...and to ensure consistency over the next two weeks, anytime I reference RPI it will be these Ken Pom numbers.]

1. Georgetown (22-5, 12-2, Ken Pom RPI - 16)
The hottest team on the East Coast (11 wins in a row), the Hoyas look like a Final Four team right now (and I apologize to all Georgetown fans if the Curse of GTB now strikes your club in the first weekend). In fact, with the losses by Florida, Wisconsin and North Carolina in the last week, and the ugly win by Ohio State today, I would say Georgetown is the second best team in the country (behind only UCLA). Pretty impressive stuff, given how pedestrian they looked on the morning of December 3rd, after losing to Duke and falling to 4-3 on the year (with the other losses to ODU and Oregon).

2. Virginia Tech (20-8, 10-4, KPR - 22)
Two nice, and necessary, wins last week, most importantly the win over Boston College. Maryland's upset tonight means Va Tech is tied for 1st in the ACC, with games left against UVA and Clemson. As a reminder, Clemson started the season 17-0 (3-0 in the ACC), is now 19-9 (5-9 in the conference), and will be losing in the 1st Round of the NIT, guaranteed. But I'm sure Billy Packer thinks Clemson should make the Dance over ODU.

3. Virginia (19-8, 10-4, KPR - 38)
Tied with in-state rival Va Tech atop the ACC (Coaches Leitao and Greenberg, address those thank yous to Gary Williams), but most definitely below them in this poll. That's what getting pummeled by 27 will do. Plus, who wants to root for UVA anyway?

4. Maryland (22-7, 8-6, KPR - 17)
I was all set to jump Maryland above UVA after that stirring upset of Carolina tonight, until I actually did a little research and realized the Terps lost both games to Virginia this year, and for that reason just couldn't do it. See how easy that was Billy Packer - I got on the ole email machine and used the eBays to find out how teams performed over the course of the season. Try to give it a try in the next two weeks (or at least have an intern do it for your drooling, geriatric ass). Anyway, 5 straight wins for the Terps, who (like Georgetown and ODU) are rolling at just the right time and will be a force in the ACC Tourney (and, depending on their seed, the Big Dance as well).

5. VCU (24-6, 16-2, KPR - 60)
Congrats to the CAA regular season champs...who unfortunately are limping to the finish line (barely beating 10-19 Georgia St to clinch). As you know, I have been pulling for these guys all year, but either they got complacent in the last two weeks or they are more flawed than the 24-6 record would indicate. The CAA tourney should be a doozy, with VCU, ODU, Hofstra and Drexel all capable of taking the title.

6. Old Dominion (23-7, 15-3, KPR - 33)
Winners of 11 straight to end the regular season, they sure look like a viable at-large candidate. And even though VCU won the regular season CAA title, I would have to slightly favor ODU at this point to win the CAA Tournament.

7. George Washington (18-8, 9-5, KPR - 86)
Yeah, I disrespect them every week, but they won both games last week, and honestly, the A-10 seems to be a crapshoot, so why not GW. Unless Karl Hobbs channels that coaching legend Bruiser Flint prior to the A-10 tourney.

8. Loyola (17-12, 12-6, KPR - 187)
They fell to 4th place in the MAAC standings, which it appears Marist or Siena will win (at least based on their second great game of the year Saturday - thank you DVR)...and whoa, did Jack Nicholson shave his head? Wow...sorry, Oscars on in the background, and I really have nothing else to say about Loyola.

9. George Mason (15-14, 9-9, KPR - 136)
Welcome back to the poll Jim Larranaga and company. Unfortunately, that means it was time to say goodbye to Towson and Gary Neal (very tough for me to do). I think Coach Larranaga might even hate Billy Packer more than me (and Phil Martelli).

10. William and Mary (15-14, 8-10, KPR - 185)
Well, I did it again. Put the Tribe on this list, and they shit the bed...again...when will I learn. Obviously not this week...if this really is my last local hoops poll of 2007, the Tribe get to finish in the Ten Spot. And of course lose the 8/9 game in the CAA tourney. Jammin' on the James my ass.

Basketball Picks, the Idiotic Way

Boy, would I be a lot more optimistic if I were following TJ's 4-4 weeks than his 6-2 and Russell's 7-1 prognostications. There's little fun in my actually spending a great deal of thought on these, so we'll channel Diane Chambers this morning. She won football pools by selecting teams in non-standard ways. Among other selection processes, one week she won by choosing which city had a better symphony. And here we go, except that I don't know much about symphony music, so there's a tweak.

Pitt at Georgetown
Aaron Gray is still gimpy and the Hoyas are surging, but more importantly, Marvin Gaye is from DC and Rusted Root is from Pittsburgh. Advantage, Gaye. Georgetown.

Indiana at Michigan State
Cougar vs. Madonna, circa 1985. "Rain On the Scarecrow" vs. "Dress You Up." Cougar. Hoosiers.

Georgia Tech at Virginia
The Jackets are zipping up the ACC standings of late, yuk yuk yuk, and the Cavs were strained against Miami, yuk yuk yuk, but this should be a good showdown, like, say, The Black Crowes vs. Dave Matthews Band. We'll take DMB and UVA. (They also win in the Johannesburg U. vs. Cape Town Tech match-up.)

Stanford at UCLA
The Kingston Trio hailed from Palo Alto. 1,000,000 rock bands emanated from L.A., from The Doors to Social Distortion to the Black-Eyed Peas. Bruins. Duh.

Syracuse at Providence
You know what musical act hailed from Syracuse? None. Bobcat Goldthwait does, though. Chuck Mangione and Wendy O. Williams are/were from Rochester, of course. You know who formed while attending the Rhode Island School of Design in Providence? Talking Heads. Winner. Providence.

Texas at Oklahoma
Willie Nelson and Spoon against Vince Gill and Toby Keith. I'm going with the former, and so should you. Every time. Texas.

North Carolina at Maryland
Should be an awesome showdown; the Terps are surging of late, and Carolina is a title contender. The Connells should squeak one out at Joan Jett's place. Tar Heels.

Wisconsin at Ohio State
Big time Big Ten match-up, not unlike the powerhouses . . . Violent Femmes against Devo. Like them both plenty, though neither got much respect. Add it up or whip it? Whip it. OSU.

1-7, here we come.

Friday Morning Filler

Until Whit gets his picks up, I thought I'd pay tribute to Dennis Johnson with this clip of his most famous moment (or at least most replayed moment):

There's Georgetown...and everyone else

Short and sweet this week as I am currently on my way to San Diego for work. And yes, there is a San Diego-specific YouTube clip below, but I shunned Ron Burgundy in favor of a Chris Berman/Tom Jackson favorite. Enough fluff, on to this week's Top 10:

1. Georgetown (20-5, 10-2)
Nine straight wins, and once they dismantle Cincy mid-week I fully expect them to take down Pittsburgh at the Phone Booth on Saturday. You're looking at a regular season Big East title for the Hoyas.

2. Virginia (18-7, 9-3)
Sure, you wouldn't think beating Longwood and Florida St. would bump UVA up to #2 on this list, but they are tied for first in the ACC with North Carolina, and that's gotta be worth something.

3. Virginia Tech (18-8, 8-4)
Atrocious loss to NC State Sunday takes some of the shine off the impressive upset of the Tar Heels. The Wolfpack are only 4-8 in the ACC this year, but 2 of those 4 wins are over Seth Greenberg's boys. Not good, not good at all.

4. VCU (22-6, 14-2)
CAA leader VCU really needed to defend its homecourt and beat Bradley Saturday, but it was not to be. Luckily, their final two CAA games are against 4-12 JMU and 5-11 Georgia St., so this week they stay a spot ahead of ODU under the assumption they win both and secure the CAA regular season title.

5. Old Dominion (21-7, 13-3)
Despite my well-documented mid-major love for VCU, even I have to recognize how well ODU is playing (and how that early season win over Georgetown propels them ahead of VCU in the eyes of many). They've won 9 straight, and if VCU stumbles, they're gonna take the CAA crown.

6. Maryland (20-7, 6-6)
The two double-digit conference road wins are indeed impressive. Two weeks ago we were happily dismissing their tourney chances, but now a split in their final four games and they are all but assured a spot in the Dance. They also managed to push Clemson, who started 17-0, to the brink of March elimination.

7. Loyola (16-11, 11-5)
Tied for 2nd place in the MAAC...which elevates them ever so slightly above middling teams 8, 9 and 10. I am in no way a Loyola hoops expert, but this has got to be the best year they've had in a very long time.

8. George Washington (16-8, 7-5)
If William and Mary and Towson weren't so damn mediocre, GW would be sitting pretty in the cellar of this poll. 5th place in the A-10, losers of 4 of their last 5, this team is trying very hard to play its way out of this local hoops poll, which is quite a feat, given the awful teams in the "also receiving votes" category.

9. William and Mary (15-12, 8-8)
Horrendous loss to Fairfield over the weekend, but it wasn't a conference loss, and I am obviously biased, so they stay put at #9. The Tribe could really make the contributors of GTB proud with a win over either ODU (highly unlikely) or Drexel (always a possibility with Mensa member Bruiser Flint at the helm) to finish the season.

10. Towson (14-14, 8-8)
I didn't feel like bringing George Mason back into the mix, especially after their loss to Kent St. Saturday, so Towson and my boy Gary Neal hold down spot 10. I wonder if Neal has any shot at playing in the NBA?

"Teamwork. Part...of...a...team."

The creator of this blog (rob) sent me his picks this week, so what the hell, I'm gonna run with these and attempt to guess the rationale behind each...

UCLA at Arizona
UCLA. Rob has manlove for Aaron Afflalo. I am not here to judge his picks, but if there is one game on this list where I would switch choices, it's this one. HOWEVAH, it's his show, and it says here the return to health of Darren Collison leads the Bruins to victory. Barely.

Washington at Pittsburgh
Pitt. Rob has manlove for Aaron Gray. Pitt was absolutely embarrassed by Louisville at home last week, where they never lose (78-7 since the Petersen Events Center opened in 2002). Plus, Washington is traveling 3,000 miles for this game and you see where that got UCLA last weekend. The Huskies also play no defense, so that could be a problem for Lorenzo Romar's bunch.

Southern Illinois at Butler
Butler. Rob has manlove for...all right, enough of this. Butler is good, but they're not even in first place in their conference. SIU, however, leads the very tough MVC. Not sure how Rob got this one, perhaps he was swayed by Butler's 6-0 home record?

Memphis at Gonzaga
Memphis. Despite the lengthy travel, Tigers by 10+. Conquering Conference USA is akin to taking Australia in Risk - sure, you've conquered a continent and get the two extra armies, feeling good about yourself in the process, but really what did you gain? False optimism, that's what. Rob is too "high"brow for the lame drug reference here. But obviously I'm not.

Northern Iowa at Nevada
Nevada. I have manlove for Nick Fazekas. Early in the year it looked like NIU could vie for the MVC title, but a recent 4 game losing streak has ended those dreams. My love for Nevada is only barely topped by the VCU love, so this is a relatively easy pick. Question - Which current NBA whitey does Fazekas remind you of most? And yes Dennis, Euro whiteys are allowed in this conversation.

North Carolina at Boston College
UNC. Rob is expecting back-to-back lame efforts from the Eagles I guess. Carolina will be out to prove something after the home loss to Va Tech, and Rob obviously assumes BC will lay down again for a big time opponent (Duke owned them the other night). UNC and their deep, talented roster wear down BC, and Al Skinner finger paints during the entire second half.

UConn at Syracuse
Cuse. Now I think he's just kissing up...might be an at-large elimination game the way these two have played this year. Cuse has struggled with consistency all year, but will turn it on in front of the Carrier Dome faithful this weekend, pushing Jim Calhoun's Huskies to the brink of NIT-dom. Here's hoping you caught Demetris Nichols one-man show last week against St. John's (37 and 10)...it's much better than Bruce Vilanch's "Almost Famous".

Georgetown at Villanova
Georgetown. Hottest team in college hoops right now. Easiest pick on this list. 8 game winning streak in which they aren't just winning, they're crushing teams. I'm still having trouble processing the November version of this team vs. the February version...polar opposites. Hoyas could have 10 game win streak when they host Pitt for Big East regular season title Febraury 24 at the MCI (nee Verizon) Center.

Guzman to Lopez to Broadway...not exactly Tinker to Evers to Chance

I thought it might be time for a neutral observer to preview the upcoming Washington Nationals season (for the uninitiated, I am a fan of Los Jankees de Nueva York, but have quite enjoyed the RFK/Nats experience so far). I must warn you, this "preview" is pretty ugly...the Nats finished 2006 71-91, in last place in the NL East, and there is no doubt in my mind they will be worse this year. We're talking 100+ losses bad. Empty ballparks all year long bad (speaking of that, after finishing 11th in attendance in their inaugural 2005 campaign, the Nats plummeted to 21st in attendance last year...losing 7,000 fans a game - they actually drew 1 less fan per game than the equally horrendous Orioles). I admire not wasting $55 million on a Gil Meche this offseason, but Jim Bowden made almost no attempt to improve this team. It's as if management has thrown in the towel on 2007 before it even began. Where to start...

The biggest problem (by far) is an absolutely abysmal starting rotation...good lord is it a mess. John Patterson, who missed almost all of 2006 with a forearm injury, is supposed to be the ace of this staff. Great start, eh? Beyond Patterson, look at this band of donkeys competing for spots in the rotation:
Tim Redding - Last seen in the majors in 2005, sporting an 0-6 record and 10.57 ERA.
Joel Hanrahan - Former Dodgers prospect (wow, a minor league All-Star in 2003, awesome).
Colby Lewis - Former Rangers prospect (you seeing a pattern here...MLB team gives up on prospect, Genius Jim thinks "Hey, he's the answer...").
Jerome Williams - I think Swint hates this guy, as did the Cubs AND Giants.
Mike O'Connor - Lefty who was decent last year...which around RFK could mean #2 starter.
Billy Traber - Another middling lefty.
Shawn Hill - Who?
Beltran Perez - Double who?
Jason Bergmann - I looked him up, and he isn't the toolbox we went to college with. But he sucks just as much.

Now, compared to the starting rotation, the bullpen looks World Series ready. Luis "Don't Call Me Juiced-Up Bobby" Ayala is back, and Chad Cordero is a legit closer, despite having the goofiest hat rim in baseball. Cordero saved 29 games last year and 47 in 2005. Plus, they call him The Chief, which is pretty cool. The potential other uniform fillers:
Jon Rauch - Frank Robinson ran Rauch out there 85 times last year. I assure you that will come back to haunt the Nats.
Micha Bowie - Whatever...
Ray King - If Tony LaRussa thinks you're an asshole, well, you must be a tremendous asshat.
Emilian Fruto - They got this kid for Vidro. Supposedly has a live arm and a tremendous changeup. We'll see...

OK, how about the position players? They cant be worse than the pithcers, right? Well...
Jose Vidro is indeed gone, traded to the Mariners...but guess who's back to haunt Nats fans? That's right, Cristian Guzman will be back to ruin 500+ at bats this year...this clown makes $4.5 million a year, hit .219 in 2005 and mercifully didn't play at all last year. Felipe Lopez becomes the new 2B, and I actually like him as a player (decent combination of speed and power).

Well, we have finally found a bright spot...Ryan Zimmerman, 3B. The 22 year old hit .287 with 20 HRs and 110 RBIs in his rookie campaign...including three game-ending hits. He's the real deal...

Private Pyle doppleganger Nick Johnson is still coming off an injury...he lasted until late-September last year without getting hurt. Great job Nick...this means some guy using a fake name (Larry Broadway) will be manning 1B to start the season.

The outfield is a also a complete mess (I sound like a broken record, don't I?). RF Austin Kearns has tons of potential and a new contract, so maybe it would be time for him to actually play a full season and produce. Bowden let Soriano go for virtually nothing (I am too lazy to look up the draft picks), so that means the other OF at bats will go to this band of merry idiots:
Ryan Church - Actually, I like Church as a player and never understood why Marlon Byrd kept stealing his PT.
Michael Restovich - Twins and Rockies didn't want you...
Alex Escobar - Whit loves this guy...when someone locates one of his five tools please let me know.
Nook Logan - Exavier Prente Logan is an excellent defensive CF. That's a positive.
Kory Castro - Last but not least is Fidel's kid and the Nats two-time Minor League Player of the Year...hope he makes the opening day roster. Has to be better than non-relative and teammate Bernie Castro.

Behind the plate, Brian Schneider throws out guys about as effectively as Mike Piazza. I am intrigued by the idea of Jesus (Flores) catching a few games this year...I hear he manages a great game.

And finally, look at the dregs on the Nats bench (oh my, Tony Batista was signed today? Wow...I don't even have a joke...)
Robert Fick - If he even makes the team...
Dmitri Young - Complete headcase.
Bernie Castro - ????
What a fucking disaster...

Good luck to the youngest manager in the bigs, 37-year-old Manny Acta (he's replacing Friendly Frank Robinson, 34 years his elder). This is going to be a brutal first year for Acta and Nats fans...let's just hope this new stadium also brings new talent in 2008.

Simply the Worst

Prepare to be stunned...by the vast amount of sucking going on during this clip. That being said, I couldn't stop laughing the entire time...

GTB Stand-In: Snow Delay

And I don't mean this guy...

Unfortunately, last evening's Week 1 GTB Stand-In could not be conducted, as we couldn't locate Rob anywhere. Apparently, the moderate snowfall here in DC was still enough to dwarf our dear friend, and Whit and I now need to spend the morning melting Rob out with the GTB Height Laser (patent pending). Visualize Han Solo frozen in carbonite, minus the height and good looks.

We do, however, still have an update for you today (sans laser). It was revealed last week Whitney has already LOST height, so the adjusted figures are below...the goal is to melt Rob out and conduct the Stand-In later today.

Rob: 5'3"
Whit: 6'5"
TJ: 6'2"

Who knew the Devil Rays media guide could be so entertaining?

Lost in all the Dice-K hooplah this offseason was the arrival of several other Japanese ball players to the states, among them new Devil Rays 3B Akinori Iwamura (formerly of the Tokyo Yakult Swallows). The Devil Rays won the negotiating rights to Iwamura with a high bid of $4.5 million, topping bids by the Indians and Padres. Apparently Aki, as he likes to be called, is pretty damn good, by Japanese standards at least.

Iwamura was a five-time All-Star and six-time Gold Glove recipient with the Swallows. He's a career .300 hitter, collecting 188 HRs and 570 RBIs in eight seasons with Yakult. He also impressed the D-Rays by hitting .389 for Japan in the World Baseball Classic. The guide says he is a good defender - nice glove, cannon arm. But none of that has to do with why we're here this morning...

We are here because Iwamura is from a small, laid-back town in Japan called Uwajima (since when does a population of 70,000 make you a small, laid-back town?). Aki claims the town is best known for tangerines and yellowtails. Well, the Devil Rays media guide says otherwise. It appears the town's "principal claim of fame" is the Taga-jinja Shrine, a "giant phallus carved out of log." That's right, the pride of Uwajima is a 12-foot wooden schlong. The massive dong is part of an ancient fertility shrine and adjacent to a sex museum. Now I would say that's slighty more entertaining than a town famous for tangerines and yellowtails (whatever they are). And yes, I know this was a looooong way to go for a (big) dick joke...

[Thanks to benmaller.com for the tip]

"What have you done for me lately, Eddie?"

All right, now we're getting somewhere...Selection Sunday is less than a month away, and though alot can happen between now and March 11th, here's where the "local" hoops teams currently stand (this post might be a little stats heavy today - I am REALLY avoiding work):

1. Georgetown (18-5, 8-2)
Roy Hibbert leads the nation in FG%, shooting 70.3% from the field...and by field I mean anywhere within four feet of the basket. The Hoyas as a team trail only defending champ Florida in team FG% (52.4%). These guys have really got it going, and I have no doubt they can make a deep run in March. The only catch would be they're peaking too soon (winners of 7 straight), but I don't think that's the case here. I think we're looking at the #1 team in this poll for the rest of the year.

2. VCU (21-5, 13-2)
OK, so my boys have had a bit of trouble in the last two weeks, but they are still first in the CAA and have that gaudy win total. Their last three CAA games are against corpses, but I'm much more interested in their Bracket Buster game this weekend against Bradley of the MVC. One way or the other, I've got VCU penciled in as one of two tourney-bound CAA teams. That's right, two CAA teams are going to the Dance again. By the way, point guard Eric Maynor is 5th in the country in assists (6.3 apg).

3. Virginia Tech (17-7, 7-3)
Wow, that was an impressive shellacking of in-state rival UVA last week. Though still a half-game back of the Wahoos in the ACC standings, Va Tech sits ahead of them in this poll because they just beat the living shit out of them. UVA should've never even gotten off the bus. Two tough roadies coming up for Seth and the fellas, starting tomorrow night at Carolina.

4. Virginia (16-7, 8-3)
Yes, they still sit pretty at 8-3 in the ACC, but getting trounced by Va Tech by 27 cannot help this team's confidence. Luckily, they have 8-18 Longwood next on the schedule. Way to toughen up for March, Coach Leitao.

5. Old Dominion (19-7, 12-3)
Here is the aforementioned second CAA team...like the Hoyas, winners of 7 in a row, and that Monarchs win over Georgetown looks very good right now. Both ODU and VCU will scare teams in the first round of the tourney, if of course the Curse of GTB doesn't strike them down before they get there.

6. Maryland (18-7, 4-6)
Sure, I picked Maryland over Duke mainly because of my dislike for Duke, but it was nice to see the Terps play their best ball of the season lats night. Travieso 2.0 (or is it Padilla 2.0?) was very impressive, and Gist and Ibekwe were solid in the middle. The Dukies are in serious trouble right now. As an aside, the Terps have the 17th most potent scoring attack in the country (79.9 ppg). And Gary Williams has the highest dry cleaning bills in the ACC.

7. Loyola (14-11, 10-5)
Hanging in there in a very competitive MAAC. 10-5 puts them 1 game back of conference leader Marist (and tied with two others, Siena and Niagara). Gerald Brown is 9th in the country in scoring (21.6 ppg). Anyone got the most famous Marist alum?

8. George Washington (15-7, 6-4)
The A-10 sucks (except Xavier). I'm sorry, but the league really is terrible. If a team led by Bruiser Flint can be in contention for the league title than there is a problem (EDITOR'S NOTE: Bruiser is at Drexel now, as pointed out by Rob. That little turd Travis Ford coaches UMass). Hell, Duquesne, which had like 5 guys gunned down in the offseason, is 6-5 in league play. Good for them, bad for the A-10. Useless GW stat: Eight-year starter Carl Elliot is 11th in the nation in steals (2.7 spg).

9. William and Mary (14-11, 7-8)
They don't so much storm back into the rankings as barely limp in, hungover and covered in vomit. But hey, thanks to the completely abysmal play of George Mason the Tribe are back in the Top 10. They have 7 league wins, for which Tony Shaver deserves a medal (and perhaps an extension?).

10. Towson (13-13, 7-8)
You know why they stay on this list. Gary Neal, 25.5 ppg...good for 4th in the country, just ahead of some kid named Durant. Wish I knew more about this Durant guy, nobody ever talks about him.

Dwight Howard is awesome

In case you missed this last night, Orlando Magic manchild Dwight Howard beat the Spurs with an unbelievable dunk (over Tim Duncan). It's the first game-winning NBA dunk since Jerry "8 Day Rental" Stackhouse beat Dallas in 2002 (I actually remember that play). One last note on the double-double machine that is Dwight Howard:
In his last three games, Howard is making 89% of his FG attempts (33 of 37). According to Elias, that's the highest % for any NBA baller (not named Wilt) over a 3 game period, ever.

More (losing) hoops picks

It's reached the point in the season where I've watched enough college basketball that I should not be going 4-4 every week... at least that's what you would think. Time to put all those hours in front of the TV to good use. The goal is 6-2 or better each week for the rest of the year:

Marquette at Georgetown
Georgetown. Let's start the ball rolling by choosing the Hoyas to win Saturday's matinee against a very good Marquette team. I do love Dominic James and his other backcourt cohorts, but I'm giving JT3's team the edge at home tomorrow. Hibbert, Green and a few timely bombs from Wallace or Sapp should do it.

UCLA at West Virginia
UCLA. Has anyone noticed the two teams from last year's Finals also just happen to be the two best teams this year as well? (yes, I am putting UCLA and Florida above Wisconsin and North Carolina) That doesn't happen too much anymore. By the way, this is not the WVU team you remember - yes, they still take a ton of threes, run precise offensive sets and have goofy white dudes, but it's mainly underclassman and they're terribly inconsistent.

Illinois at Indiana
Indiana. The Hoosiers are a perfect 12-0 at home, Illinois is 2-4 on the road, and most importantly Indiana wants to avenge their 51-43 loss two weeks ago to the Illini. Indiana wins this game and the schedule really opens up for a strong February.

Creighton at Southern Illinois
Southern Illinois. MVC powers clash...and since I still don't know enough about a conference that might send 4 or 5 teams to the Dance, I'll take the home team (who apparently have a 6 game winning streak...niiiiiice). Go Salukis.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma State
Oklahoma State. Time for JamesOn to get the Cowboys back OnTrack. As with any Texas Tech game, there is always a possibility Bob Knight will go insane and potentially punch someone in the face, in this case poor Sean Sutton.

Florida at Kentucky
Florida. See love for UCLA above. Who cares if the Gators are on the road, they have the better team. Randolph Morris is going to get battered and abused by Noah and Horford. By the way, Lee Humphrey is making 70% of his threes in conference play. That is not a typo.

Xavier at Gheorghe Washington
GW. I don't know why I'm taking Gheorghe Washington in this "battle" for (sucky) conference supremacy. Let's see...GW is 9-0 at home, Xavier is 2-5 on the road. Good enough for me.

Duke at Maryland
Maryland. My lack of love for Duke has me taking the tumbling Terps. If this game is at Cameron I have Duke winning by double digits, but I'm taking a chance here that Gary finally gets through to his kids prior to this season-defining game. It's time for the seniors to step up (Strawberry, Ibekwe and Jones).

Gheorghe Stand-In: Reach for the Stars

In the hopes of someday dunking a basketball or perhaps riding Space Mountain without the attendant hassling you, myself and Gheorghe: The Blog contributors Rob and Whitney (Dennis, you are welcome too of course) are entering into a height gain wager. There will be weekly stand-ins, the results of which will be updated here at Gheorghe: The Blog HQ.

The details...
Timeline: The bet began with last night's stand-in (February 6th for those scoring at home), and since this country measures its winners by gross means (stupid anti-aesthetes), the tallest contestant as of April 20, 2007 is the winner.

Execution: Inspired by the seminal Val Kilmer comedy, Real Genius, we'll be using laser technology to measure the contestants most weeks. If by some chance the contestants find themselves in the same location (unlikely, but possible), we'll use a chain of chewing gum wrappers to take the weekly measurement.

Rules: We measure together every Tuesday, rain or shine. Well, not actually rain, because that'll fuck up the laser. Shine only. The results of the stand-ins will be posted weekly at Gheorghe: The Blog, and likely on any number of blogs and websites that get swept up in the phenomenon.

Penalty: If either one of us “quits” the bet, there is a $15 penalty for each week of the bet given up on, with the minimum penalty of $50 and a maximum of $150. Also, Rob will continue to pay the societal penalty of being nearly 6 inches shorter than the average American male.

Stakes: The winner will purchase a round of adult beverages for each of the other contestants, as he has already received substantial benefit from the world at large on account of his superior height. Frankly, he owes us.

THE AFOREMENTIONED UPDATE:
The first official stand-in took place last night using Gheorghe: The Blog's experimental new laser measurement technology. After some initial glitches (Whit, those eyebrows will likely grow back relatively quickly), the LED readout gave us the following starting heights:

Rob: 5'5"
Whit: 6'6"
TJ: 6'2"
(Note: the most difficult part of the measuring process was getting someone to stand still long enough to get a reading. That someone spent most of the time trying to light a fatty with the laser.)

The next stand-in will take place Tuesday, February 13 at approximately 7pm. Rob will be driving back from Philadelphia, so his reading may be impacted by the earth's curvature.