Using the whole fist, Doc?

Mooooooon river...It definitely felt like Mr. Babar's visit to Alan Stanwyk's doctor for 9 innings last night. First off, Congratulations to the 2004 Boston Red Sox, American League Champions. I can only imagine GTB creator Rob Russell's state of mind today. The greatest comeback in postseason history. They came out for Game 7 and they knew they were going to win damn it. Lowe even said that after the game. Unreal - ALL these guys seem to have balls the size of Saturn. A tip of the cap to all of them, from Frozen Caveman Yankee Killer to Papi to Keith "Anyone got Dr. Jobe's phone number" Foulke to Schilling to Lowe to Francona. Left for dead, those guys absolutely took it to their most hated rivals. As a Yankee fan, they crushed me last night. I was a fucking vegetable for 9 innings.

Now, I am not about to let this Yankees team off the hook. I mean, has there ever been a bigger egg laid in a Game 7, a Game 7 at home in front of 55,000 raucous fans? This was a fucking disaster of the highest order, a MONUMENTAL collapse:
Starting pitching, disaster (Kevin Brown, I've been saying it for 6 weeks, and you proved it last night - You are a huge fucking douchebag. Hey Vazquez, I wouldn't be giggling in the background pal. These two guys are the Anti-Schilling, hell they're the Anti-Lowe)
Bullpen, bad times (When Benny the Cab Driver from Total Recall is your only lefty in the bullpen, that isn't a good sign. I can't even discuss this whole Mariano Rivera thing right now,and apparently he couldn't either, basically running from reporters last night)
Hitting, uh what's hitting (Games 4-7 versions)? (Credit Schilling and Lowe and that bullpen, but aren't Sheffield and Rodriguez supposed to be veteran hitters who can fight off good pitchers? Well it didn't look that way. A-Rod looked downright confused last night)
Clutch hitting, went to get a latte? (See rant above)
Taking just a few pitches, what are you nuts? (I mean, I know Miguel Cairo needs to take pitches, because he's Miguel Cairo, but even Jeter took some last night to try to get something going - Would it have killed them?)

Derek Lowe did of course pitch very well last night, but the Yankees certainly aided him in becoming a very rich man this offseason. I think the only time I smiled last night was when I realized Jim Leyritz was being outfitted by Macho Man Randy Savage. George is getting very upset. If people thought a $200 million payroll was bad, oh man, is next year's spending spree gonna be ugly. Can the Astros win tonight and give Red Sox Nation the dream matchup in Fenway they so desire? Have I set the record for most parentheses in a post? Has anyone in Boston slept yet?