zman Bouillabaise

It's back, this time with an automotive theme.

1. Gheorghe has an F40?

The Ferrari F40 is one of the greatest supercars of the late 1980s. It represented the pinnacle of Ferrari's engineering skills at the time and is largely considered to be the best analog car of all time. Only 1311 were made and they are highly collectible, fetching prices over $1 million at auction. Most people keep these things in a garage and never drive it, they just rub it with a diaper.

Remarkably, some guy in what appears to be LA parks his F40 on the street.

There's so much going on here. First there's the green wrap. It's one thing to wrap your Dodge Challenger, but it's a totally different kettle of fish to wrap one of the most desirable cars to ever leave Maranello. Then there's the green duct tape on the hood--apparently that's covering damage incurred when a neighbor ran over the hood with her Toyota Yaris. And then there's the spare tire in the passenger seat.

Someone clearly doesn't take his car too seriously. Does Gheorghe own an F40?

2. Gheorghe lives in NJ?

On my way home from work today I saw this parked in the public overflow parking lot for the neighboring town's train station:

That's a Pantera. Not Pantera. A Pantera, a DeTomaso Pantera. Based on the front bumper it's a 1971, 1972 or 1973. It's worth between $70k and $125k. And it has regular license plates, not historic plates ("QQ" plates in NJ), which means the owner drives it with more than insignificant frequency. And it's parked in the public overflow parking lot for a train station, between a ten-plus-year-old BMW 5 series and a Toyota Corolla.

Someone clearly doesn't take his car too seriously. Does Gheorghe live in Madison? (Probably not, he's too big to fit in a Pantera.)

3. Jerry Seinfeld is not very Gheorghe.

Jerry Seinfeld bought a 1958 Porsche 356A T2 1500GT Carrera Speedster, the only GT Speedster ordered in Auratium Green with black interior (only 13 Speedsters were finished in this color from the factory) for $1.2 million in 2013. Here's the car and the guy who sold it to Seinfeld:

Three years later Mr. Seinfeld sold the car at auction for $1.54 million, along with 17 other cars from his collection. At the auction, Mr. Seinfeld's cars sold for a collective total of $22,244,500. Mr. Seinfeld has been collecting rare Porsches for many years. Mr. Seinfeld is widely known as one of the world's most prominent Porsche collectors and owns one of the world's largest collections of Porsches.

I know all of this and more because Seinfeld sued the guy who sold him the little green car that looks like an upside-down bathtub--apparently it's a fake and the guy who bought it from Seinfeld is ripshit.

In addition to the aforementioned self-aggrandizement, Seinfeld's complaint also states that "Mr. Seinfeld, who is a very successful comedian, does not need to supplement his income by building and selling counterfeit sports cars." I'M JERRY SEINFELD!!!



Stunningly, Seinfeld's automotive $1.2 million purchase was accomplished via a "Motor Vehicle Purchase Order," whatever the hell that means. He didn't have a contract with reps and warranties about the car. I had a tree taken down in my yard for $3200 earlier this year and I had a contract. Seinfeld is either lazy or such a baller that he wipes his ass with $1.2 million. Or both.

I'm going with "baller" or "both" because Seinfeld is represented by Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher. Gibson Dunn represents major multinational companies like Apple, Ford, Deutsche Bank, Facebook, Citigroup, Chevron, Lockheed Martin. I can't imagine they have a partner billing under $900 an hour. And that's who Seinfeld gets to represent him in a $1.54 million dispute.

Someone takes his reputation as the world's most prominent Porsche collector a little too seriously. It pains me to say it but Jerry Seinfeld isn't very Gheorghe.