Life Imitates Fiction

zdaughter likes to watch a cartoon called "Sheriff Callie's Wild West" on Hulu. The show is named after its main character, a female cat named Callie who is the sheriff of a town called Nice and Friendly Corners. Callie has a magic lasso and a blue horse named Sparky who has glitter in his mane and tail. Callie thwarts bad guys every episode, thereby keeping Nice and Friendly Corners nice and friendly. You can see why this would appeal to a four year old girl.

It's a Disney show so the actors are reasonably famous. Mandy Moore voices Callie and other cast members you might recognize include Kevin Michael Richardson, Cree Summer and Mo Collins. Flea, Iggy Pop and Henry Rollins (somewhat inexplicably) made cameos as bad guys. Pop and Rollins were the Silverado Brothers, two ice skating stoats. Stoats like weasels, not stoat the baw.

I watched season 2 episode 21a with zdaughter the other day, it's called "New Sheriff in Town." The premise is that Rusty, the leader of a group of dogs who rustle, runs for sheriff of Nice and Friendly Corners. Rusty is a sheepdog with a preposterous mop of hair. He acknowledges that he used to be a bit of a shady character but claims to have seen the light, turned good, and now wants to keep the town safe.

His stump speech promises preposterous things like free milkshakes everyday and rollerskating anywhere and anytime you like, and chores will be against the law. His slogan is "Vote for Trusty Rusty!" The townspeople don't take him seriously but Callie, ever the proponent of free and open elections, says that he should be allowed to run. Nevertheless, as all the animals of Nice and Friendly Corners wait in line to vote they all agree that Rusty will be lucky to get even one vote. Callie is eminently qualified with years of relevant experience! Nice and Friendly Corners is ready to have a female leader.

Right as the voting ends, Rusty's crew cause a distraction and switch the ballot box out for one containing only votes for Rusty. They rigged the election!

The townspeople can't believe it! Callie tells everyone that Rusty should be sheriff if he won fair and square, but she suggests that everyone take a look at the votes and the ballot box. Before she can begin her investigation, Rusty takes her badge, pins it on his jacket, and throws Callie in jail for breaking a law that he made up right then and there, audaciously stating "You just broke mah new law which means you're goin' to jail!! " and as an side to his crew "Where she'll be out of my way!"

He then fires Callie's deputy (Peck the woodpecker), makes his cronies deputies, and throws Callie in jail. Rusty goes on to perpetuate all sorts of new laws that accrue only to his benefit. His motto is "I'm the one who makes the laws and if I can make 'em well I can break 'em! So when me and my boys see things we like well we're just gonna take 'em!" He drinks everyone's milk, takes their vegetables, swipes their coins, and all manner of other things that are neither nice nor friendly. The corruption is mind-boggling.

Luckily, Rusty's cronies are wildly incompetent. Whilst imprisoned in a jail cell, Callie offers to teach one of Rusty's deputies how to use her magic lasso and because he's concentrating so hard on trying to learn she tricks him into explaining how they rigged the election and where they hid the ballot box. She relays this information out the window to her faithful deputies outside (one of whom is a talking saguaro cactus named Toby who rides a goat).

The real votes are eventually found and counted. Of course, Callie won. She lassos Rusty and throws him and his crew in jail. Nice and Friendly Corners is nice and friendly again.

It's a nice story but really, who could imagine a fact pattern so preposterous?