Fat Bottomed Girls (& Boys)

It's not exactly a secret that sex-related use cases have driven mass adoption of a broad range of technologies. Cameras, VCRs, DVDs, hell, the Internet itself all accelerated up the growth curve when purveyors of porn figured out how to use them to reach a wider audience.

The online dating market is estimated at $2.5B per year, as venerable online platforms like Match.com and eHarmony have been joined by smartphone tech like Tinder and Grindr. 

And now human demand for sex and the ingenuity behind technology that brings people together has transcended the boundaries of species. 

Friends, I give you Tudder.

Launched yesterday on Valentines Day, the app was created by Hectare Agritech to match buyers and sellers of livestock, cows in particular. Farmers in the market swipe left or right based upon the look of an animal and other attributes, such as age, location, gender, and health. If a heifer catches a farmer's eye, it's a simple matter of clicking through to the SellMyLivestock website to negotiate terms and arrange for delivery.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. That may be true, but I think we all know that horny people are the mothers and fathers of adoption. May our hormones know no technological limitations. If you don't think some rich dude's desire to get it on with a lady (or a dude) on the other side of the world isn't gonna be the thing that gets us mass-market teleportation, then maybe you underestimate the species. 

I bet they start with cows.