Thursday, May 07, 2015

...and a hipster Hamburglar shall lead them...

Not sure if everyone saw this yesterday, because unlike me they are not glued to Twitter every second of the day, but McDonald's decided to get all creative and shit and unleash a new Hamburglar mascot on the world...


I don't even know what to make of this completely unnecessary reboot, but hey, that's what we do these days, right, "reboot" things from the past because everyone is too fucking lazy to come up with their own fucking original ideas (apologies, I just watched the trailer for the "new" Vacation movie and am spewing bile).

The Hamburglar makeover got me thinking about what other advertising icons from our youth might be worth a fresh look in 2015, and since we were devoid of filler for the day, thought I would open this discussion up to the floor. See you in the comments.

[And in case you were curious, I'd love to see a reiteration of The Noid return in the near future.]


93 comments:

zman said...

I'd like them to reboot the Cindy Crawford Pepsi commercial with a nubile young model.

rob said...

captain caaaaaaveman

rob said...

not really an advertising icon. just felt like typing that.

Marls said...

What the fuck is Grimmace?

T.J. said...

"Many people believe Grimace is a taste bud, but McDonald's says he is 'the embodiment of a milkshake'."

Marls said...

Joe Camel, Spuds Mckenzie, the Bob Eucker miller lite ads, Billy Dee's colt 45 ads

Marls said...

A walking grape milkshake?!?!? Gross.

T.J. said...

by the way...who the fuck is the pirate in that bottom pic? there was a McD's pirate mascot?

Marls said...

Captain Crook. I have the limited time glassware to prove it.

rob said...

the miller lite sports legend ads in general should be revived

Marls said...

Apparently Captain Crook had a predilection for the filet o fish similar to that of the hamburger for hamburgers.

Marls said...

Bud Bowl.

Marls said...

That would be "hamburgler for hamburgers"

rob said...

just noticed the 'robble robble' tag. gold, teejay. gold.

T.J. said...

robble

rob said...

i'd be okay rebooting the cindy crawford pepsi commercial with the current version of cindy crawford. even better, with the current version of elle mcpherson.

Danimal said...

McD's Nuts.

How 'bout the Kool Aid pitcher?

The Charmin Guy

Mark said...

As I've stated in this space before, my Uncle Ken is the creator of the Hamburglar. This reboot deeply offends me.

Mark said...

I also just caught up on Joakim Noah starting a beef with Cardale Jones. I love Noah. So very much.

Danimal said...

How about the Native American sad with pollution?

Marls said...

You take your broken clavicle and tree hugging and git outta here.

Dave said...

that sad native american really moved me when i was a kid.

the new hamburglar is creepy and looks like a criminal.

movie game 2 answers up on SoD.

zman said...

Call Paul's Boutique. Ask for Janice. The number is 718-498-1043.

Mark said...

That's Paul's Boutique. In Brooklyn.

Mark said...

NY, folks. I may be drinking with Greg tomorrow if you're interested in such things.

Mark said...

And, again, the new Hamburglar deeply offends me and my family.

Clarence said...

What was it with McDonald's liking to invent characters who steal from McDonald's? Next up, the McThugget!

Whitney said...

And Dave, a little bit of props for conceiving Movie Game 2 would be nice. I don't come up with much that stands the test of time.

Dave said...

hello gheorghies--

a banner evening at the pub tonight which only very few people could understand. sixteen years ago, just before i got married, i went through a weird phase where i wrote some bar room jokes, most of which were awful . . . but there was one decent one about a guy with a motorcycle and a girl and a bet about doing the dishes and a tub of vaseline . . . i told it to everyone i knew . . . i'm wondering if anyone remembers it . . . but a friend of mine just told me the joke; he heard it from a guy in new york.

it took sixteen years, my joke has come full circle!

Danimal said...

The left handed wipe.....ya just can't get used to it.

And can you tell us the joke Dave?

zman said...

I actually got used to the left-handed wipe. The key is that you have to stand up a little bit to make it work. Now I can wipe with either hand--I'm amphibious!

Danimal said...

Z go left. Z go right!

Marls said...

To Clarence's point, the crime rate in McDonaldland approaches that of Cabot Cove, ME. Clearly Officer Big Mac was not doing his job.

rob said...

cabot cove!

zman said...

I assume that rob is the Mayor McCheese of G:TB and Teedge is the Grimmace?

T.J. said...

Simmons leaving ESPN...

to join GTB.

Mark said...

?uestlove spinning at Brooklyn Bowl was dope last night. I even bowled a few games. I highly recommend it if you're in Brooklyn on a Thursday night.

rob said...

the glee being broadcast by traditional (read: old) media types about simmons' departure is unseemly, at best. and it's gonna sound really awful when he lands on his feet with a cool new gig.

zman said...

Almost as unseemly as some of the morons on talk radio invoking Aaron Hernandez's name in the context of how long Tom Brady should be suspended. Like "Aaron Hernandez is spending the rest of his life in prison based on circumstantial evidence, so Tom Brady should be suspended for a year based on the circumstantial evidence in the Wells Report."

rob said...

if brady gets as much as a game suspension for this horseshit trumped-up non-issue, i will suspend my interest in the nfl for as many games as he's suspended.

that'll show 'em.

but honestly, i find myself less and less interested in the nfl every day. just such a morass of hypocrisy and self-congratulatory douchbaggery. and that includes and is amplified by the national media that covers it.

zman said...

I once worked in a morass of hypocrisy and self-congratulatory douchbaggery.

Squeaky said...

What would you do if your company asked you to move to London in two months? Keep in mind said company has no presence in London nor an ex pat package that exists today.

rob said...

i'd say fuck and yes and then negotiate like crazy.

Squeaky said...

We are actually leaning No. But waiting on what the package might be.

The move would crush our son. And I'd be traveling 4 weeks a month which would suck.

rob said...

well if you had an answer, why did you ask, fuckface?

T.J. said...

Squeaks, if you would be traveling four weeks a month, um, when exactly would you NOT be traveling?

Squeaky said...

I'd probably have to travel 2-4 days a week to Germany and France.

Rob, I wanted to see what you all would do. Given that most of us have kids these days.

rob said...

my kids have lived a very sheltered life, never having moved from the county of their birth. i'd like them to have an opportunity to see more of the world. so if that presented itself, i think i'd jump at it.

Dave said...

and since we're on the theme of idea origins-- i apologize whit, i didn't realize you created movie game 2! i will revise that sentence and write out the joke when i get motivated, right now i'm too tired from pub night . . .

Marls said...

Squeeks, go to the UK if the job is for less than 2 years. Get a contract in place to make sure the ex pat package is enforceable. Take them to the cleaners on the expat package if they don't know what they are doing. That should include the cost of private school in the UK.

Marls said...

Oh, and Brooklyn bowl is awesome except for when the Ebola doc goes during his quarantine period.

Mark said...

I'd do the the UK thing for many of the reasons Rob listed. I was born and raised in the same home for my first 18 years. Leaving was one of the best things that ever happened to me. If I didn't have a shared custody situation I would've taken a San Diego job opportunity a couple months ago. Because...San Diego.

Mark said...

Also, I agree (again) with Rob on Simmons. Scummy Jay Mariotti gleefully tweeted about Simmons' "demise". Which was good for a laugh. Simmons is going to end with more money and more power. Much like Squeaky.

zman said...

I think you should move to London so I have a place to crash in London, and so you'll give me advance notice on cool UK bands. I guess I'm a selfish guy.

I've only been to London once and I stayed in a touristy spot, but it seems to be insanely expensive. A tube of toothpaste was $12. Maybe that's why the British have bad teeth.

zman said...

But in all seriousness, how thrilled is Mrs. Squeaks to be alone in London 2-4 days a week with Lil Squeak whilst you're drinking wine and beer in France and Germany? To me that's the most important consideration. Don't screw up a good thing.

Squeaky said...

Marls, hadn't thought about the school thing.

rob said...

your kid's smart. he can skip a few years of school.

Squeaky said...

Zman, oddly enough she's not excited about being alone with our son for those shorter periods of time in London but would be ok with me traveling from the US and staying over there for two weeks at a time.

I opened a sales office in London back in the early 2000's for another company. So I've done it before. It would probably be more stressful thsi time around with the family.

TR said...

London is truly one of the world's great cities. I definitely got that vibe when I went for the first time in December.

I think the issue is how secure you feel in your job b/c that's a huge commitment. But a 2-yr trip could be life-changing if it's not a miserable PITA to travel w/ him.

Squeaky said...

TR, the other day my son threw a three hour full on raging fit because I put a new cover on the tablet. He travels well but does not like change of any kind.

Squeaky said...

Rob, we held him back a year because of his b-day. So he comes up to me 2 months ago and says, "Dad, I'm skipping 1st grade because I should be in 2nd grade". He's going to be a handful unlike his father.

Danimal said...

Congrats on the opportunity Squeaks. But Rob had it backwards. Lean with the no.....negotiate your ass off, and then say fuck and yeah. You don't say fuck and yeah and THEN negotiate! Doy doy doy!
I love me some London. But wouldn't want it to be a long-term deal. And on your son, been there. Devastating moves, or so I thought at the time, before 7th grade, and junior year in h.s. To top it off, the neighborhood I moved to in 7th grade was annexed by the city the following year, requiring me to change schools/school districts. Nice move Ed. I was less than pleased. That said, I wouldn't change any of it....made me the coolest fucking guy I am today. Seriously. Ya gotta get uncomfortable once in a while.

Danimal said...

A huge perk to living in London.....30-60 min cheap flight to a good chunk of the places in the world you'd want to travel. And Jags games.

zman said...

Squeaks, I think she's fine with you traveling so long as she has her friends and family nearby to lean on. I can see it getting tough and/or lonely if you're away a few days at a time and she's in a city where she doesn't know anyone. Which is why you should bring me with you and negotiate me into your ex-pat deal as nanny/counsel.

Danimal said...

Am on my 2nd beer at bar close to work. Alcohol intake post injury equals or bests alcohol intake prior 45 days. If I had to guess.

Squeaky said...

I like your train of thought, Zman. We will have to incorporate in other EU countries. You got international lawyer experience right?

Image captcha, a cupcake is not ice cream.

Mark said...

I can't think of a reason that Squeaky should include me in the move to London but I'm working on it.

rob said...

danimal, i was thinking you'd say 'fuck yes' to yourself and then negotiate with your employer. i might've been born yesterday, but it wasn't last night.

Shlara said...

Squeak--One of my friends did this exact thing with his wife and four kids several years ago. Def negotiate a scouting trip for you & the wife to find a flat and school, moving allowance (a few things you need immediately, the rest takes 6 weeks on a ship) plus rent in a good neighborhood plus school plus once-a-year return to the states for your family.

It worked for them b/c everyone was excited for an overseas adventure. That's the key.

Squeaky said...

Thanks, Shlara!

Danimal said...

Don't get lippy Rob

Danimal said...

Fowler, the Jags 1st pick in the draft suffered a knee injury in their practice today. Could be serious. Damn.

Danimal said...

Scratch that. Is serious. Torn ACL. F. F. F.

rob said...

look at shlara speaking british. flat, indeed.

Mark said...

Terrible news on Fowler.

Mark said...

Pok Pok is delicious in case you're wondering. Wings, pork belly, boar collar. Not sure how/why I'm going to eat again in 3 hours but I'll manage. I guess.

Mark said...

I'm supposedly about to begin drinking with Greg. Been doing this since we were 15 and I never don't think it will end badly.

TR said...

ER visit #8 for my 5 y/o. Corneal abrasion from excessively rubbing his pollen-impacted eyes. Good thing we have the frequent shopper card.

Kid to get meds. Dad to get scotch.

rob said...

what the hell kind of offense are the cavs 'running'?

zman said...

Jimmy Butler looks like Buggin Out, who I just learned was played by Giancarlo Esposito, aka Gus Fring. Never realized that before.

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Dave said...

go to london! you get to live in a foreign country but you don't have to learn another language. plus, the countryside is amazing and the cotswolds look like lord of the rings. i was surprised how much i liked it there and i didn't even get to london.

rob said...

at a gymnastics meet. someone post something to entertain me.

zman said...

I make you laugh, I'm here to amuse you?! Like I'm a clown?!

Dave said...

an evil clown.

Dave said...

lurking.

Dave said...

no one is laughing now.

Dave said...

don is laughing

TR said...

Sorry Hannah Storm. Sonya Curry has regained the title of TR's favorite MILF. She is looking fine these days.

Fast forward to the 1:45 mark of this clip to see her and listen to a pretty sweet soulful trumpet solo that even Chuck Mangione would admire:

http://www.nba.com/#$/video/channels/nba_tv/2015/05/09/20150509-inside-stuff-steph-sonya-curry.nba/index.html

TR said...

I thought I picked up a 6-pack of Abita Purple Haze the other day. Turns out I picked up a 6-pk of Abita Strawberry Harvest Lager. That decision has proven to be suboptimal.

mayhugh said...

Anyone feeling let down from the Mayweather fight, tune in for the replay of tonights Canelo Alvarez-James Kirkland fight on HBO. It's an entertaining 8 or 9 minutes, culminating in one of the most ridiculous knockouts you will see at the professional level.

rob said...

lotta nba folks starting to sweat the fact that the grizzlies aren't willing participants in the coronation of the warriors

Clarence said...

Let's face it, a lot of NBA folks sweat a whole hell of a lot. Like nightly.