Friday, May 29, 2015

Some of You Are Gonna Need Lawyers

In the midst of an actually important story about potential abuse of police power, Gothamist dropped knowledge that's vital for the men of G:TB, especially those that frequently use public transportation.

Watch the spread, gentlemen. From the story,

"Manspreading arrests are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to numbers-driven policing in the subway system, which often takes place in the middle of the night."

As defined by Wikipedia (and holy shit, I cannot believe that this is defined by Wikipedia), manspreading is the practice of sitting in public transport with legs wide apart, thereby covering more than one seat. I think we can all agree that full on gonadal bulges accompanied by a lack of common courtesy is a scourge we should address.

The author of the Gothamist article also notes that the word "manspreading" was used by a judge in dismissing a recent case, marking the first time that that word had been used in a court of law. Mind your crotches, boys, or it won't be the last.

17 comments:

Dave said...

i am a total manspreader. the alternative is awful to contemplate.

Marls said...

Who are these dudes who sit on the subway? If the car is almost empty (which means the smelliest homeless person int the world is likely clipping their toenails in the car) you can sit if you want, otherwise stand.

T.J. said...

I've been accused of being both a mansplainer and a manterrupter...but never a manspreader. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

zman said...

I'm a womanspreader, a butterspreader, a jellyspreader, and a schmearspreader. I've never spread a man.

Whitney said...

I had to ghooghle mansplaining and manterrupting. Also learned about bropropriation. You learn something every day.

Clarence said...

"Dennis Hastert has resigned from the firm of Dickstein Shapiro."

Love that name, and it's one letter away from being the best nickname for OJ's lawyer I can conjure.

Clarence said...

"GRANTS PASS, Ore. – A fossilized skull and teeth from a newly described species of beaver that lived 28 million years ago have been unearthed in eastern Oregon."

Supposedly it's a lot hairier than the modern beaver.

Clarence said...



Also, it's official.

I'm running for President in 2016.

#castoneforclarence

rob said...

president of fifa? you'll be hard pressed to be as brazen as blatter, but i know you've got it in you to try.

zman said...

Blatter? I hardly know 'er!

Clarence said...

I'm not sure what presidency I am running for, but it ain't FIFA. I will not be the next Wiz Kha-fifa.

Clarence said...

I do think I have the same presidential chances as Chris Christie, Bernie Sanders, and Bobby Jindal.

rob said...

gheorghies, mobilize in support of clarence. also, hello.

T.J. said...

Hi Rob! I'm making some Screech jokes on Twitter After Dark if you want to join in.

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rob said...

had you invited me to the peach pit after dark, i'd have been all over it

Clarence said...

Or Cinemax After Dark.