The Season Starts Now

Why does the season start this week, you ask? Because I sat around for three hours last week waiting for my alma mater to begin their football season, only to watch the opening kickoff quickly be followed by what seemed like the night's 35th lightning delay. This, eventually, led to the game's cancellation. So, that's my excuse for my 1-2 week. Now, back to some shit you (mildly) care about.

Danimal and I are back for another week of ill advised financial decisions. These picks aren't neccesarily ill advised, the wagers placed later in the day often are though. Whether it's trying to get back money you've lost or just trying to maximize a hot streak, wagers made in the moment are usually...who am I kidding, always a bad idea, results be damned. Will that stop me (or Danimal) from throwing down a few extras today? Highly doubtful. I hope you don't read this column expecting good advice.

It wasn't a great start for your boy last week. Officially I'm 1-2 though I did manage to come out a bit ahead overall due to some solid work on Thursday night and a few other plays (USC, Oklahoma State) during the day. Things could've turned out quite well had I not suffered at the hands of a last minute TD in the Ohio State-Navy game. Hope that helped out your heartburn, Urbs.

East Carolina (+17) at South Carolina- The line had dropped to +15 since I put my money in this morning so I'm not the only one who threw some money on the Pirates. Besides my affection for the state of North Carolina's official safety school (it was an hour away from my first college and we partied there quite a bit), the South Carolina defense looked like utter shit last Thursday. While some of that can be attributed to Texas A&M's stellar passing attack and the apparent fact that Kevin Sumlin is a god damn wizard, I believe just as much of that is due to the massive losses South Carolina suffered on defense. Beyond the loss of the NFL's overall #1 pick, the Gamecocks also lost two other starters on the defensive line to graduation. On top of that, South Carolina trotted out three first time starters (two true freshman among them) in the defensive backfield. Defensive Coordinator Lorenzo Ward is making changes and replacing three defensive starters this week. Maybe this solves all of South Carolina's defensive issues. Or maybe East Carolina QB Shane Carden (4,139 yards and 33 TDs passing in 2013) will chuck the ball all over the field. ECU won't win but they won't get blown out either.

Kansas State (-12) at Iowa State- Iowa State lost last week's season opener by 20 to an FCS school last week. Granted, that FCS school was the juggernaut known as North Dakota State and someone in the Iowa State athletic department should be fired for agreeing to play the Bison but a loss like that doesn't bode well for the Cyclones as they prepare to take on Kansas State this week. In the last game summary, I referred to Kevin Sumlin as a wizard. Well, if Sumlin's a wizard then Bill Snyder is a Super Wizard or a Grand Wiz...wait that's not what I meant. Anywho, Snyder is amazing. He built a powerful football program out of nothing and did it in the middle of nowhere. Then when his successor (RON PRINCE MOTHERFUCKER!) failed and the Kansas State program was falling apart, Snyder decided to come out of retirement and almost immediately turn the Wildcats back in to a program of national relevance. On top of all that, Snyder gave the world Darren Sproles. For that alone he should be knighted. Do they have knights in Kansas? Oh, who gives a fuck. None of us are ever going to Kansas anyway. SNYDERCATS.

BYU at Texas (O/U 46- Under) - Last year BYU ran for over 500 yards on Texas. The next day Texas DC Manny Diaz was fired. This didn't fix Texas' defensive issues and eventually the rest of the Texas staff was fired including long time Head Coach Mack Brown. Charlie Strong is the man in charge in Austin now and I, for one, have no doubt that he'll turn things around. This turn around is going to take some time though and now is now that time. Complicating matter this week is the news that Texas will be without starting QB David Ash and both starting Offensive Tackles when the Cougars come to town. This game wasn't shaping up as a high scoring affair before these injuries. Now, I wouldn't be shocked if neither team broke 20 points. Take the under.

Take it away, Danimal.

Missouri -3.5 at Toledo - One of those goofy lines you look at and think, huh? “Huh” cuz you have Missouri traveling to Toledo and also cuz it’s almost a pick’em. This is one of those lines that you should simply trust and probably go with the homer dawg. Which I. Am going. To do. Missouri has the coach in Pinkel (who coached at Toledo for a decade) and Mauk the QB who in looking at the stats, did a whole lot of nothing against South Dakota State. Yeah, I guess they have a football team. Having been to Toledo a couple of times in the last year and with several of their students who are technically coworkers, I’ve become a bit of a follower of the Rockets. This line opened up at -5.5 fyi. I’m going to go ahead and take Toledo to win in the Glass Bowl where they have a history of taking down seemingly more worthy opponents.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 Blast OFF!!!!!!

Old Dominion +17 at NC State- NC State has been horrific the last year or two. Before last week they lost 8 in a row before coming back down 10 in the 4^th against Georgia Southern. It looks as if they’ve got a QB in Jacoby Brissett who is large and in charge and if not mistaken a Gator transfer, but other than that the cupboard is Googling is not in my interest at the moment as I have a Big Brother episode to watch. Val & I love us some Big Brother.  I think ODU travels to Raleigh with an eye on a big win here while the Wolfpack goes in as the shoddy team they are. Throw in a little bit of Clarence mojo and it’s pretty much a lay-up. Or is it Whitney? Whatever Russ.

Team from Virginia

Virginia Tech +12 at Ohio State- Sorry Buckles….can’t do the same for you. I wish this game wasn’t on at 8:00 because I’d like to watch it. I expect this to be a very close one with the Hokie’s D giving OSU’s frosh QB JT Barrett some problems. It’s a game Tech can win because no one expects them to. Plus, new A.D. and old pal of the Danimal has brought some pixie dust to Blacksburg that everyone is shoving up their asses. They feel good about themselves. They look good. They’re happy, positive. Another in depth analysis from yours truly.

Tech Tech VPI Hokie Hokie Hokie High!