Saturday, September 06, 2014

The Season Starts Now

Why does the season start this week, you ask? Because I sat around for three hours last week waiting for my alma mater to begin their football season, only to watch the opening kickoff quickly be followed by what seemed like the night's 35th lightning delay. This, eventually, led to the game's cancellation. So, that's my excuse for my 1-2 week. Now, back to some shit you (mildly) care about.

Danimal and I are back for another week of ill advised financial decisions. These picks aren't neccesarily ill advised, the wagers placed later in the day often are though. Whether it's trying to get back money you've lost or just trying to maximize a hot streak, wagers made in the moment are usually...who am I kidding, always a bad idea, results be damned. Will that stop me (or Danimal) from throwing down a few extras today? Highly doubtful. I hope you don't read this column expecting good advice.



It wasn't a great start for your boy last week. Officially I'm 1-2 though I did manage to come out a bit ahead overall due to some solid work on Thursday night and a few other plays (USC, Oklahoma State) during the day. Things could've turned out quite well had I not suffered at the hands of a last minute TD in the Ohio State-Navy game. Hope that helped out your heartburn, Urbs.

East Carolina (+17) at South Carolina- The line had dropped to +15 since I put my money in this morning so I'm not the only one who threw some money on the Pirates. Besides my affection for the state of North Carolina's official safety school (it was an hour away from my first college and we partied there quite a bit), the South Carolina defense looked like utter shit last Thursday. While some of that can be attributed to Texas A&M's stellar passing attack and the apparent fact that Kevin Sumlin is a god damn wizard, I believe just as much of that is due to the massive losses South Carolina suffered on defense. Beyond the loss of the NFL's overall #1 pick, the Gamecocks also lost two other starters on the defensive line to graduation. On top of that, South Carolina trotted out three first time starters (two true freshman among them) in the defensive backfield. Defensive Coordinator Lorenzo Ward is making changes and replacing three defensive starters this week. Maybe this solves all of South Carolina's defensive issues. Or maybe East Carolina QB Shane Carden (4,139 yards and 33 TDs passing in 2013) will chuck the ball all over the field. ECU won't win but they won't get blown out either.




Kansas State (-12) at Iowa State- Iowa State lost last week's season opener by 20 to an FCS school last week. Granted, that FCS school was the juggernaut known as North Dakota State and someone in the Iowa State athletic department should be fired for agreeing to play the Bison but a loss like that doesn't bode well for the Cyclones as they prepare to take on Kansas State this week. In the last game summary, I referred to Kevin Sumlin as a wizard. Well, if Sumlin's a wizard then Bill Snyder is a Super Wizard or a Grand Wiz...wait that's not what I meant. Anywho, Snyder is amazing. He built a powerful football program out of nothing and did it in the middle of nowhere. Then when his successor (RON PRINCE MOTHERFUCKER!) failed and the Kansas State program was falling apart, Snyder decided to come out of retirement and almost immediately turn the Wildcats back in to a program of national relevance. On top of all that, Snyder gave the world Darren Sproles. For that alone he should be knighted. Do they have knights in Kansas? Oh, who gives a fuck. None of us are ever going to Kansas anyway. SNYDERCATS.



BYU at Texas (O/U 46- Under) - Last year BYU ran for over 500 yards on Texas. The next day Texas DC Manny Diaz was fired. This didn't fix Texas' defensive issues and eventually the rest of the Texas staff was fired including long time Head Coach Mack Brown. Charlie Strong is the man in charge in Austin now and I, for one, have no doubt that he'll turn things around. This turn around is going to take some time though and now is now that time. Complicating matter this week is the news that Texas will be without starting QB David Ash and both starting Offensive Tackles when the Cougars come to town. This game wasn't shaping up as a high scoring affair before these injuries. Now, I wouldn't be shocked if neither team broke 20 points. Take the under.

Take it away, Danimal.



Missouri -3.5 at ToledoOne of those goofy lines you look at and think, huh? “Huh” cuz you have Missouri traveling to Toledo and also cuz it’s almost a pick’em. This is one of those lines that you should simply trust and probably go with the homer dawg. Which I. Am going. To do. Missouri has the coach in Pinkel (who coached at Toledo for a decade) and Mauk the QB who in looking at the stats, did a whole lot of nothing against South Dakota State. Yeah, I guess they have a football team. Having been to Toledo a couple of times in the last year and with several of their students who are technically coworkers, I’ve become a bit of a follower of the Rockets. This line opened up at -5.5 fyi. I’m going to go ahead and take Toledo to win in the Glass Bowl where they have a history of taking down seemingly more worthy opponents.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 Blast OFF!!!!!!

Old Dominion +17 at NC State- NC State has been horrific the last year or two. Before last week they lost 8 in a row before coming back down 10 in the 4th against Georgia Southern. It looks as if they’ve got a QB in Jacoby Brissett who is large and in charge and if not mistaken a Gator transfer, but other than that the cupboard is Googling is not in my interest at the moment as I have a Big Brother episode to watch. Val & I love us some Big Brother.  I think ODU travels to Raleigh with an eye on a big win here while the Wolfpack goes in as the shoddy team they are. Throw in a little bit of Clarence mojo and it’s pretty much a lay-up. Or is it Whitney? Whatever Russ.

Team from Virginia

Virginia Tech +12 at Ohio StateSorry Buckles….can’t do the same for you. I wish this game wasn’t on at 8:00 because I’d like to watch it. I expect this to be a very close one with the Hokie’s D giving OSU’s frosh QB JT Barrett some problems. It’s a game Tech can win because no one expects them to. Plus, new A.D. and old pal of the Danimal has brought some pixie dust to Blacksburg that everyone is shoving up their asses. They feel good about themselves. They look good. They’re happy, positive. Another in depth analysis from yours truly.

Tech Tech VPI Hokie Hokie Hokie High!





79 comments:

TR said...

Font fight!

T.J. said...

That is fancy formatting

rob said...

moment of silence, please. gene simmons has declared the death of rock and roll. cause of death: entitled white suburban young people.

Clarence said...

Danimal, much as I want to support your ODU pick, their defense has been atrocious since the first time they ever suited up. The Pack will put 50 on the board without trying that hard.

rob said...

word

Danimal said...

Looks like between my cutting and pasting I may have done a little more cutting than pasting.

Clarence....if odu scores 34, I'm ok with that.

Teej and Mark....sorry about the font issues. I didn't see them on my end. Maybe I will come up one weekend for a blogger seminar. I'm sure I could sell that to my wife.

Shlara said...

The Corso-Duck exchanges are like a bizarro Muppet show. But I sure love my College Game Day on Saturday!

rob said...

peter gammons' twitter feed is dada baseball poetry

TR said...

Remember the old days, when there was more than one meaningful football game a week played before dark?

Mark said...

It's the second week of the CFB season, TR. This is pretty standard. We'll be ok going forward.

In other news, forecast says 80% chance of thunderstorms in Gainesville this afternoon. I might break some shit.

Mark said...

Toledo pissed away a 1st and goal inside the 5. Ended up with zero points out of it. Nice work, Rockets.

Danimal said...

Off to a fine start with this Toledo game.

zman said...

Boris Becker told his Puma gear supplier "Give me the worst hat you have."

TR said...

Dkokovic getting more than he can handle from a Japanese guy over on CBS.

Mark said...

It turns out Central Michigan was the " MAC team with a stinky line" to support today. Because Purdue is god fucking awful.

TR said...

Boris Becker doesn't care. He smokes butts and bangs models. He's Boris Becker!

zman said...

Becker is the man for those and many other reasons. His hat is still awful.

mayhugh said...

This K State Iowa State Game has some prospects for a strong finish. The latter just stopped a 2 point conversion to tie.

rob said...

damn, tuned into the tennis in time to see the final point. that's something else.

zman said...

I had Nishikori/Cilic in my bracket.

Mark said...

Dagger of the day. I took Bama -40. They were up 41-0 when lightning delayed things game has been called. Bet is now void.

Also, Nebraska and McNeese State are tied at 24 with under two minutes left.

Mark said...

I've got that and ISU-KSU on my TVs. Nice appetizer for the later afternoon and evening games.

Mark said...

One more thing: Eastern Michigan has a DE named Lion King. Seriously.

Mark said...

Nebraska scores a TD with 20 seconds left. BOOOOO!

mayhugh said...

I am alternating between demolishing my deck in 92 degree/700 percent humidity and watching football. Football games are giving me a good excuse to not go back out there.

zman said...

Lion King's siblings include:

Potsmo
Nosmo
Yellow
MartinLutherThe
Jaywa
Thin

TR said...

You forgot his cousin Ring.

rob said...

saw this graffiti written on the ground while riding my bike this afternoon: 'fuck yo couch'. not my thing, but you do you, graffiti kid.

zman said...

Rick James lives!!

zman said...

Federer told his Nike supplier "Give me the most bobo shoe/clothes combo you have."

zman said...

And Cilic stained his bedroom furniture this morning and didn't bother to change shirts.

rob said...

somewhere, a cbs executive is wandering around a deserted lot muttering, 'cilic vs. nishikori?' over and over again.

zman said...

All the Croatian and Japanese expats will be excited.

Mark said...

Florida brought in their true freshman backup QB to start the 4th Q. His first two passes were 70 & 78 yard TD passes, respectively.

Mark said...

Vanderbilt is a full on abortion. Kind of excited about my trip to Nashville.

mayhugh said...

South Carolina might not be very good at football this year.

Danimal said...

Nd has used all of its timeouts and it isn't even the 2nd qtr yet.

Danimal said...

So mich st had a big 2nd qtr heh?

Mark said...

You might be on to something, Mayhugh.

Danimal said...

So how many years is Tom Harmon going to be honored at Michigan?

TR said...

This Ducks-Spartans game is fun

TR said...

Craziest fade ever by some kid on the Oregon sideline behind the coach. It's a huge flat-top (Kid-n-Play style) w/ the left half dyed blonde. Tremendous. Almost as awesome as Zman's pit-fro.

zman said...

I've been fading my pits. Better than my old dreadlock look.

If you don't tear up at the end of "Senna" then there's something wrong with you.

Danimal said...

Mark....Riggs has been returning punts. Other than a near fumble in the 1st he's done both this and last week.

rob said...

both of these teams have shown a ton of guts in this game in oregon. fun to watch.

mr kq said...

Saw Senna in theater when it came out. In venue that served fine adult bevvies. Great film. We teared up.

Ducks storming back.

TR said...

Seconding what Rob said. Great game. Amazing rally by Oregon.

TR said...

Not a fan of the Buckeyes' new unis.

rob said...

really pulling for the buckeyes. the last thing i want is for the tech fans to start thinking they're any good. it's all we'll hear about for the next two months.

TR said...

JT Barrett is awful. Buckeyes will be unranked in six weeks.

rob said...

implications in the last 7 minutes in autzen. implications.

Mark said...

Significant implications.

TR said...

Is there any CFB game on now that is watchable? BYU is woodshedding Texas right now.

Danimal said...

I suspect Osu will at least make this interesting. But I I've been wrong before. A lot.

rob said...

there's always the richmond race. for the chase!

Danimal said...

Has anyone other than Mark and I checked in on the Texas BYU score?

Mark said...

Not good times in Austin.

rob said...

i've seen it. that ain't purty for burnt orange nation.

some guy just tried to climb the fence in richmond to get onto the track. anyone seen the teej?

rob said...

here is said guy:

https://twitter.com/jamieeeh18/status/508436608010682369/photo/1

Danimal said...

Nascar fans are kooky

Donna said...

Did y'all see this:

http://college.usatoday.com/2014/08/31/remains-of-18th-century-on-campus-brewery-found-at-va-college/

Cool!

rob said...

i assume they exhumed a fat greek skeleton, too

Shlara said...

Is there some way that both OSU and Va Tech can lose? Both fan bases are annoying

rob said...

that's a reasonably bad beat for mark in the byu/texas game.

rob said...

agreed, shlara, but tech's is closer.

Mark said...

Brady Hoke's gotta get outta here real soon.

Mark said...

Indeed. I've had a couple of those today. Will still eek out ahead if Tech can hold avoid falling apart in the 4th.

Danimal said...

That hurt Hoke but they play no one else that is ranked other than OSU and MSU. They could still win 8-9 games. 8 or fewer and Hoke is toast. 9 might make it a discussion.

Danimal said...

Don't players know they aren't supposed to celebrate after Td's?
I kinda like this Brewer kid.

Danimal said...

I'm just sick for Urban.

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