Friday, June 07, 2013

Everybody Wave Hi To The NSA

Alternate title: "A Very Special (Monitored) Edition of The Ghoogles"

Hey, would you look at that, the government is spying on us, and apparently with extreme prejudice. (As an aside, that's the best PPT presentation the NSA could come up with? Really??) I saw "Enemy of the State" a decade ago, I know what's up. James Caan's kid has been secretly creeping on the American public for a looooong time, no one should be surprised by this latest "revelation". (Meme alert: Captain Jean-Luc Picard is certainly not surprised)

That being said, this news got me thinking about the poor intern at the NSA assigned to monitoring high-profile blogs such as this one...which is really just a forced segue into a super duper all-inclusive version of The Ghoogles, in which I've selected those terms which likely either entertained, frightened, confused or plain scarred those at the NSA monitoring G:TB.

Time frame of search (Apparently, I only signed us up for Google Analytics in 2005. Or that's when it started. Who knows):
To the Ghoogles...the cherry-picked selection of terms below have all been used 10 or more times to end up at our little slice of the blogosphere in the past 8+ years:
  • circus peanuts
  • alfonso ribeiro shirtless 
  • ron zacapa swim 
  • cameo tattoo 
  • kari wuhrer remote control 
  • zooey deschanel thighs 
  • lady spartan soccer wax 
  • nasal polyps 
  • sexy highschool girls 
  • tiny dictator 
  • awesome possum 
  • can white men jump ethnicity genes culture and success 
  • would you like some making fuck 
  • thursdays with maury 
  • brazilian pussy 
  • vajazzling 
  • you guys playing cards 
  • military squirrel 
  • right meow 
  • flux capacitor fluxing 
  • steve mcnair cinnabon 
  • short definition of internet 
  • fernando valenzuela rookie card 
  • whitesnake video girl 
  • putana da seatbeltz 
  • tom brady effete 
  • jamarcusian 
  • kato my little yellow friend 
  • christmas eve in washington 
  • a-rod jerk 
  • shoe fuck 
  • quaid total recall 
  • every halloween the trees are filled with underwear
  • icelandic women 
  • lemmy kilmister 
  • comedy rhombus 
  • houston oilers zubaz 
  • philly fans are the worst people on earth 
  • ogie oglethorpe 
  • real tomato ketchup 
  • cauc hop 
  • jerry stackhouse eight day rental 
  • stromile swift 
  • wiz khalifa blog 
  • dante calabria 
  • disgruntled goat 
  • squirrel haters 
  • what happened to rutger hauer 
  • judy tenuta 
  • muffet mcgraw
  • ryan atwood fluffer 
  • stan kasten email address 
  • battle mace 
  • cyclist boner 
  • eddie money heroin 
  • giant sturgeon 
  • i'm the damn paterfamilias 
  • mike love beach boys 
  • q: are we not men? a: we are devo! 
  • cake vector 
  • dave winfield herpes 
  • fashion is dumb 
  • kevin kline italian flatulence 
  • nut shot 
  • tracy morgan small nipples 
  • ebirt og 
  • funny lawnmower 
  • patriotic bikini 
  • pyongyang golf club 
  • prince markie dee 
  • robert plant package 
  • succubus
And, in a casebook example of burying the lede, as if all of the above search terms weren't enough, the Ghoogles below might be the ones that lead to a knock on the door of G:TBHQ in the near future:


49 comments:

rob said...

i assume 'putana da seatbeltz' came from north brunswick.

zman said...

Today I was told "That's a whole other goatfuck."

T.J. said...

no, rob, it came from Airplane the Movie

rob said...

i don't watch movies.

T.J. said...

screen too tall for ya?

rob said...

that doesn't make any sense at all

T.J. said...

no you don't make any sense

rob said...

this whole comment thread is out of order

rob said...

and pour some out for charlie coles

T.J. said...

point of parliamentary procedure

Danimal said...

good stuff here if you haven't seen it - a clip of coles at a post-game news conference.

http://tinyurl.com/lqfgwe4

mrs. danimal hails from oxford and U of M...her heart is heavy

T.J. said...

she might want to have that checked out

Danimal said...

and you your heartlessness. shameful really.

Jerry said...

Fuck Gene Hackman

rob said...

usmnt @ jamaica tonight, 9:30 on bein sports. i don't get bein sports. anyone got any pirated feed ideas?

Mark said...

What the fuck is bein sports? Does Jerry own it?

rootsminer said...

This would be a great time for the overlords at the NSA to chime in with a feed suggestion in appreciation for this fine blog, eh Rob?

Jerry said...

BeInSports is a new-ish channel owned by Al-Jazeera. They bought some of the rights that were previously owned by GolTV, replaced them as channel 620 on DirecTV, and managed to inherit their horrendous production value.

T.J. said...

The Raycom/Jefferson Pilot of Al Jazeera?

Danimal said...

al gore was probably involved in that deal. crafty sonofabitch.

zman said...

What's on channel 690? Just static?

Sizzle said...

Zman, pick a pal.

zman said...

I was a rock.

TR said...

You were a quivering mess.

zman said...

And I still am.

And I'm watching the replay of Nadal/Djokovic. Total slugfest.

Mark said...

I miss Jefferson Pilot sports. Terrible production value, worse commercials and camera lenses with a coat of Vaseline.

Mark said...

And I knew Jerry owned a piece of bein sports. I didn't know Jerry was Muslim though.

rob said...

my company is a major sponsor of a big 10k in dc tomorrow. i somehow got roped into being the team lead. this means i have to wake up at 5:00 on a saturday morning to get to dc by 6:00. this is stupid on so many levels,

hi gheorghies!

Shlara said...

I love the ghooghles list

Danimal said...

You poor thing Rob.

Danimal said...

Well we'll we'll someone at gtbhq is celebrating his birthday. Happy birthday Rob...may it be filled with lots of big nuts.

zman said...

zson's first sentence of more than two words:

"dah-dee I poop tubby!"

Clarence said...

Happy birthday, Robert. Tell the gang how you will spend it tonight. One of us will be honored.

Mark said...

Kemba sounds fun. My wife just spoke ill of 'I left my wallet in El Segundo'. Not sure this marriage has much of a future.

Happy Birthday, Bobert.

rob said...

i shall be spending my birthday evening at a superhero party in the neighborhood. since i was unable to find white long underwear to dye yellow, i can't go as mighty mouse, which was my intent. instead, i will use the black long johns i already own and go as long underwear man. like the cicadas, long underwear man appears every 20 years to save the citizenry from air conditioning and ice cubes.

rob said...

also, just stopped at a deli near redskins park to grab a bagel sammich after my race. as i paid at the counter, i felt a looking presence behind me. looked back to see one of the most massive humans i've seen in person. turns out it was chigbo anunoby, a young redskin defensive tackle. he's listed at 6'4", 325, 6'7" with the dreads. i'm listed at 5'5", 135. it was a study in human diversity.

Danimal said...

Just taught the 4-yr old about swamp ass. Time goes by so fast.

Danimal said...

While the 3 nap I begin the Americam Masters piece on Johnny Carson. It's a 3hr special that is still airing I believe on PBS.

Mark said...

Danimal- ever watch the American Masters on Pearl Jam? Cameron Crowe directed it. Good stuff.

Mark said...

Rob- rumors a circulating that Florida-Alabama will be on each others rotational opponent beginning in 2014. Can't say I'm psyched about this. Besides Bama being a killing machine, I really enjoy the Florida-LSU rivalry. Anywho, we're going to this, right?

Mark said...

So I misunderstood the Bama rumor. LSU would remain on the schedule. So, Florida would play LSU, Bama, South Carolina, Georgia and FSU in 2014. Splendid.

Danimal said...

Have not Mark...will look for it

rob said...

yikes, mark. that's no walk in the park. but sure, i'll come to gainesville for that.

Mark said...

I believe the first game would be in Tuscaloosa. So it's either there for 2014 or Gainesville in 2015.

TR said...

I am totally cool with Jason Collins marching in a pride parade today, but am disappointed at the Nike swoosh under his "#betrue" shirt. Diminishes the moment to know there is a corporate sponsorship attached.

rob said...

i think gainesville would be more fun. and i've never seen a game there.

Mark said...

Deal.

Mark said...

Every time I hear 40 oz to Freedom I remember how much I love that album. Gainesville frat boys ruined it for me. Time to get back on it.

Clarence said...

S'up, Gheorghies?