Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Roll Your Own

For more than 200 years, a hardy band of Britons met each May at the top of Cooper's Hill and chased an 8-pound wheel of Double Gloucester cheese (a full-fat, hard cow's milk cheese, for the uninitiated) to the bottom.The winner of the race has traditionally been awarded the wheel of cheese for his or her efforts (men's and women's events are run separately).

In 2010, however, bowing to pressure from authorities increasingly concerned about the number and severity of injuries resulting from several dozen bodies tumbling pellmell down an extremely steep and uneven hill, organizers replaced the actual cheese with "a wheel of cheese-resembling foam". (Basically, Velveeta in the Round, as I understand it.)

Enjoy the footage below from the 2012 event. There's a particularly spectacular pileup beginning at about the 1:45 mark.



This Monday, in what we believe to be a first, American Army Veteran Kenny Rackers made his Memorial Day, um, memorable, winning the first race of the 2013 Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake. America (and cheese), Fuck Yeah.

I believe we have a new contender for hosting an international G:TB Summit.

22 comments:

rob said...

buncha cheese haters, huh?

Clarence said...

Wait... changing it to fake cheese eliminated injuries? You're a loony.

rob said...

i assume the injuries in that case were to the cheese-catchers at the bottom of the hill. an 8-lb cheese wheel moving 70 miles per hour might smart if it caught you in the mouth.

Clarence said...

They should use Venezuelan beaver cheese.

rob said...

'wheel of cheese-resembling foam' would make a terrible band name. but a decent journey song.

T.J. said...

Gormley owns their debut album, on vinyl.

rob said...

pour some out for torts, jerry.

T.J. said...

but not tarts. they're still delicious.

zman said...

Conversion was always my favorite tort. I'll miss it.

Clarence said...

Rob, you would like an episode of Cheers called "The Tortelli Tort." Season 1, in which Carla kicks the ass of a big fat guy obnoxious Yankees fan.

rob said...

the teej?

T.J. said...

earned my SAG card with that appearance

zman said...

Butt sag card.

mayhugh said...

So Clarence's hyperlink from 12:50 is actually NOT NSFW?

Squeaky said...

The LP was in an actual hallowed out cheese wheel! But it is starting to smell. 2 1/2 stars.

Clarence said...

Oh, there was one f-word in very small type amid a sea of other words. Sorry about that.

Clarence said...

Coincidentally to this post, a remastered, deluxe version of Sailing the Seas of Cheese was just released. Louder and more bodacious. Listening to "Here Come the Bastards" now. Here they come...

Clarence said...

Hightower on ESPNU

rob said...

hey, new york mets. i see you.

Squeaky said...

Jell-o is using the #FML hashtag for a contest. They say it stands for Fun My Life but how did they fail to know it has always stood for Fuck Me Laughing.

Clarence said...

I thought it was Fuck My Life.

From Urban Dictionary:

"an acronym for Fuck My Life, but also the name of a popular website, where people post their embarrassing stories. They all start with Today and end with FML
Today, I put skittles up my vagina, to be cute for my boyfriend on valentines day, so i would taste good. As he was eating me out, he pushed one skittle up so far and couldn't get it out. I ended in up in the ER for 4 hours, with laughing nurses. FML."

T.J. said...

squeaky video submission posted above