Friday, May 31, 2013

Futile Superfans Pantsless Griffins Uber NCAA Baseball Previewgasm

I was told to write a Tribe NCAA baseball tourney game preview. Well, here you go...(warning, this post is going to be a disaster)

For only the third time in school history, and the first as an at-large bid, the William and Mary Tribe have made the NCAA baseball tournament, despite a lackluster showing in last weekend's CAASe7en tourney (went 2-2, losing to academic bastion Towson in the championship round). The Tribe take the field today at 2pm as the #3 seed in The Raleigh Regional, facing #2 seed Ole Miss. You know what they say, throw our the records when these two get together (no one in their right mind says this). Also in this regional: top-seed NC State and soon-to-be-CAA member Binghamton (I think. conference realignment scares and frightens me. much like an elliptical machine). Regional play is double-elimination, with the pod winner advancing to the Super-Regional. For the hell of it, here's who the Tribe will face after they win the pod (FUTILE SUPERFANS UNITE):



Fun fact: William and Mary has ZERO wins in the NCAA baseball tourney. ZERO. I even checked with twitter to confirm what I think I thought I already knew (I sound like FUPA Peter King now). But hey, unlike the Burg hardcourt denizens, at least these guys have made the dance...


The Pantsless Griffins have made the NCAA tourney two times prior to the 2013 at-large selection, in 2001 as CAA champions and in 1983 as ECAC South champs (now you're just making up conferences). In 2001, Clemson and South Alabama took down the Tribesters. In '83, North Carolina destroyed W&M 11-0 in the first game and then the Tribe lost 13-8 to the scholars of JMU.

Quick aside: You might have heard the (god awful) mascot for William and Mary is a Griffin, a Griffin who lacks a particular piece of clothing. Well, today I learned there is an actual f'ing website called "Dress The Griffin". Seriously. It even has an app. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

Killer chain, bro


Please keep the mythological Greek creature away from the children.

Game preview: Oh, right, the actual contest at hand. W&M enters the game with a record of 37-22, one victory shy of the school record for wins (their 17 CAA victories did set a record). Ole Miss, after beginning the season 19-1, also enters the game with a 37-22 mark. At their highwater mark this season, the Rebels were ranked No. 6 in the nation.

The Tribe will send sophomore Jason Inghram (8-6, 3.46 ERA) to the mound this afternoon, opposed by Ole Miss junior Mike Mayers (5-5, 2.98 ERA). W&M star pitcher John Farrell, a 1st team all-CAA performer, is the likely regional Game 2 starter. I think rob delved a bit into Farrell's outstanding season in a previous post, but since I don't read anything on here, I'll add a few nuggets on the best pitcher the Burg has seen since before WWII. Farrell was 11-2 on the year, with a 2.80 ERA and 86 strikeouts against just 13 walks. The kid is a neuroscience major, and three grafs into this profile of Farrell we get a Marcus Aurelius name drop. Stoicism, for the win.

Moving on...at the dish, the non-pants-wearing Griffins are led by 1B Michael Katz, who is hitting .365 with 5 HRs and 47 RBI entering Friday's action. His plate work is complemented by 2B Ryan Lindemuth, who has a nearly identical offensive line (.363, 4 HR, 47 RBI). As a team, the Tribe hit .296 on the year with 17 home runs, 330 runs batted in and 367 runs scored.

Not to be ignored, Ole Miss has a hitting superstar as well, catcher Stuart Turner. The junior backstop is hitting .381 with five dingers, 44 runs scored and 50 RBI. On Thursday Turner was named to the Collegiate Baseball's All-American team.

TJ, how do I follow along with the action, you may (not) be asking? Hunker down in your cube with TribeAthletics.com (@TribeAthletics) open in your non-porn browser window for live stats and audio, provided by Wes Kempton and new FOG:TB Kris Sears (@kasear). It seems ESPN3 will also be streaming action from all 16 regionals this season, so hit that up if you get it.

Important youtube clip inclusion:



Are you pointing to the sky? Are you #1? Or do you just want everyone to watch the Lloyd Christmas clip again?
Go git 'em, Tribesters. Do it Bill Bray, Brendan Harris and Will Rhymes, fellas.

For more details on today's matchup, and the squad in general, be sure to check out this legitimate game preview, not the schlock I provided above.

Full NCAA tourney bracket can be found here.

48 comments:

zman said...

I can't believe you bumped Bronsoline for this dreck.

T.J. said...

talk to the little man
game starts at 2pm
you'll get over it

Mark said...

Agreed, Zman. Rob is a power mad midget.

rob said...

it's fucking tribe baseball, zmark. doesn't get any better than this.

T.J. said...

rob has asked that y'all calm yo tits

Mark said...

That's a pretty great picture.

In other news, police seized a billion dollars of blow off the Jacksonville coast today. Sorry, Danimal.

zman said...

My passion for Tribe sports, much like my passion for the Christ, is well-documented.

T.J. said...

Keyser Soze is gonna be pissed

T.J. said...

let's hug it out

Clarence said...

Here's the thing about the griffin. I don't mind that it's pantsless. Hell, those of you who have had more than a couple of beers with me know that's my style, too.

But if you were going to mix an eagle and a lion, what part of the lion would you want? What's the most bad assed part of the lion? The tail and back legs? Hell, no! The tail reminds you only of the Cowardly Lion, and let's face it, that puss-boy has been giving lions a bad name since 1939.

It's the killer jaw, the mane, and the black eyes -- those big eyes that say, "Dude, I'm going to rip a large chunk of your midriff out now, and I couldn't care any less. Look at my jaws and mane, bitch!"

It should be a lion head and front paws with eagle wings and maybe eagle feet and talons. You know, like so it can fly around and swat shit out of the air and eat it all bloody like, like King William would, but then it lands on the ground all dainty-like, like Queen Mary would.

Think about it.

Clarence said...

And re: Mark's news tidbit, one of the speedboats being chased by Customs officials dumped an estimated 7,000 lbs of cocaine into the ocean. Coming Soon: Cocaine Shark.

Geoff said...

http://localpeoplearmscrossed.tumblr.com/

Greg said...

That Griffin could fuck the shit out of bears.

T.J. said...

Geoff's tumblr website link is pretty great

zman said...

Fuck the bears out in Provincetown.

Clarence is Napoleon Dynamite.

Clarence said...

Actually, my name in high school French class was Napoleon. Le misnomer and all.

And when I set off a bottle rocket down the hall in 9th grade and got suspended, my day's friends called me Dynamite.

So wow.

Mark said...

I wholeheartedly agree with Clarence's, possibly, drunken rant on the Griffin. Still trying to figure out why Greg wants it to fuck bears though.

Cocaine Shark sounds awesome.

rob said...

if only clarence had a blog on which he could post genius shit like that.

T.J. said...

I might have found cocaine shark and Greg's bear...

Squeaky said...

Are we that lazy?

http://mashable.com/2013/05/30/burger-king-whopper-holder/

T.J. said...

yes

rob said...

inghram wriggles out of a 1st and 3rd, one out jam. scoreless through 4.

T.J. said...

zman don't want your tribe sports updates, rob

Mark said...

That bear and shark are high as fuck.

zman said...

Mark Inghram of rob's long-beloved Saints?

Mark said...

I looked for the bear and the shark and Geoff's tumblr link. Couldn't find them. Pretty disappointed.

T.J. said...

Internet is closed, Mark. Moose out front shoulda told ya.

rob said...

zman won't be happy to know that the wrens plated 4 runs in the top of the 5th without a hit.

zman said...

I would root for the Wrens. But never the Griffens.

zman said...

Or the Griffins. Eff Merv.

Clarence said...

Technically speaking, Griffons is also correct. Nerdily speaking.

But not Griffuns. Because that would include fun.

T.J. said...

Gryphons, also acceptable

rob said...

i just received the following message at work (i've changed a few things to protect the wicked, but i absolutely did not change the most important part - i bolded that):


Good Afternoon,

I found out more information on the material that was brought up in our last meeting. I checked with Name Redacted to see if it was per hour or a consulting fee. The material is called “XYZ Professional Services” and it’s used by Business Unit to bill for ala carte hours. It’s a 1 time charge with zman pricing.

Please let me know if you have additional questions.

Have a great weekend.

Thank you,
Name Redacted


so, zman. you want to explain?

T.J. said...

zman pricing = $69/hour, yes?

rob said...

wrens starting to scuffle a bit. up 4-1, bottom 7, rebels on 2nd and 3rd with one out.

zman said...

$6.90/hour, actually.

Squeaky said...

4-2 bottom of 9th, two outs.

Squeaky said...

two men on. 1st and 2nd.

Squeaky said...

Tribe win!

rob said...

ole miss got turner to the plate as the winning run. phew.

rob said...

so we're headed to omaha with the tribe, then?

Shlara said...

I'm in for the road trip!!

zman said...

zson just reenact end the "fuck yo couch" scene from the Rick James sketch ... on my iPad.

Mark said...

Kemba's wildin on ZDad's iPad. I approve.

zman said...

Bad news for Mookie Blaylock.

Clarence said...

In all seriousness, I wonder if Eddie Vedder & Co. will do something special for him.

Also, hi, Gheorghies!

T.J. said...

Hi Gheorghies. Wife and I were out in Adams Morgan of all places tonight with the DLC and Brokamyface

Dave said...

shrimp $$$$, bitch.