Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter, from Clarence

Now this is some classic Clarence commenting:

Well done, sir.

72 comments:

  1. Sitting at the bar. Worked my way through Cheeseburger Benedict and two Morning Leis (champagne and pineapple juice), now struggling with a vodka cranberry.

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  2. resurrection, intervention...whichever.

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  3. If you're planning an intervention for me, you'd better pack a taser, fucksticks.

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  4. fuck that. i'm packing a six-pack and some whiskey.

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  5. but really, have you thought about eating better?

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  6. Eating butter? Hell yes, but only on other things. Never straight up. That'd be unhealthy.

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  7. good. glad you're making smart choices. carry on.

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  8. mlb opening night tonight. rangers! astros! it's fannnntastic.

    sox/yanks tomorrow at 1:05, and me in boston. whatever will i do?

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  9. You inspire me Clarence.

    Who gets more airtime per year? Obama or Schumer? I think Schumer takes him.

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  10. Not quite in Clarence's league here (but who ever is), but I'm at a kid-friendly Easter brunch with live acoustic guitar...at a German beer hall in Hoboken. Tired parents with giant mugs of beer chasing kids rocking out to Yellow Submarine and I'm a Believer. It's outright day-drinking wrapped aroun a thin veil of family-friendly activity. Awesomeness.

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  11. Does Florida know they have a game today? I hate everything.

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  12. I can't stand Michigan fans. Florida better pull their heads out.

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  13. I can hear Mark breaking shit from here

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  14. It's so bad that I'm not even mad. Just befuddled. Lazy play and mental mistakes galore. Ugh.

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  15. just got home from a long, boozy brunch. easter, fuck yeah.

    and what the hell happened to the gators?

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  16. Stauskas simply unconscious today

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  17. Jesus, Florida. Can't do dumb shit like that.

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  18. Tim Hardaway Sr still hate the gays?

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  19. Florida had a chance when they got it down to 12. Michigan was starting to get tight. Of course, then Florida missed a couple easy shots and turned it over twice. Lead back up to 18. Damn, damn, damn.

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  20. And yes, I'm pretty sure Tim Hardaway still hates the gays. Good thing he lives in South Florida. No gay people down there.

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  21. erik murphy is -27 today. gaaaaah.

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  22. tribe baseball takes two of three from high point. 10 wins in 11 games.

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  23. Hate that Murphy ended a really good career at Florida with, possibly, his worst game ever. Oh well, he'll make a nice living in Europe for the next decade.

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  24. so everyone has off easter monday except me? f-- y'all

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  25. I don't. Why are people off tomorrow?

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  26. I really do not like these Louisville uniforms. But I gu

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  27. But I guess I'm not the target market...

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  28. in dave's defense, his understanding of how the world works is somewhat limited.

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  29. If you missed the injury, do not watch a replay. You might puke.

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  30. I don't think they should keep playing today. That was so awful.

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  31. I just tuned in. Napping and all. What was the injury?

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  32. Brutal Theismann/Krumrie/Lattimore-level leg implosion for a kid on Louisville. I'm no doctor, but "mega fucked up compound fracture" would be my diagnosis.

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  33. Thank you, Doctor Teen. (Like Doogie Howser.)

    That's rough. One of L'ville's better players?

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  34. zman and Dr. Teen will be a spinoff, Loveline-type radio showgram.

    And Kevin Ware is not a star, but a glue guy for Louisville. Had a big game by his standards against Oregon, tho, scoring 11.

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  35. That was easily the worst basketball injury I've ever seen. More awful to see than Shaun Livingston's injury.

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  36. Just found out my neighbgoor was in Dumb and Dumber. The "nice butt" was his.

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  37. 2 pretty shitty games today.

    Can you tell when my kids go to bed?

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  38. danimal, ask if we can interview him

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  39. and i believe it's 'look at the butt on that'.

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  40. wait, that's wrong: it's 'buns'

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  41. glad you got that all figured out

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  42. the integrity of our reporting is paramount, teeb

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  43. "Teeb" is when he comes out of the shower and puts his towel into a turban.

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  44. Can you imagine our Loveline-style advice? It would always be something like "Dump her for the girl at work."

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  45. That Ware injury was so bad that you could tell how many places he broke it in just by watching the replay. I would compare it more to the Sid Vicious/Psycho Sid from WCW injury. Pretty amazing Louisville got it together at the half after most of the team witnessed the injury first hand.

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  46. so that Bryce Harper kid seems decent at the baseballing

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  47. our april fools post is so gtb

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  48. Matt Flynn to the Raiders for a 5th rounder an another pick in 2015. He will make $5.25 MM this year. Is this a better move than signing Kolb? I would say yes if it was made by anyone but the Raiders. Watch, Flynn will make the Pro Bowl.

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  49. Clarence has us all fooled

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  50. Could someone please download this for me before the powers that be shut it down? I'm away from home and my iPod needs this badly.

    http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2013/04/download-dj-finesse-big-over-premier-mixtape

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  51. well, that apparently wont work - my email server is crap

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  52. The new cracker factory is driving me to drink. And, I hardly drink anymore, so I need some advice on the best gin to buy. Is anyone here a gin drinker?

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  53. People seem to like the tanqueray 10.

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  54. thanks Clarence. I knew I could count on you for important issues like this.

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  55. hendricks. it's so choice.

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  56. If you're used to traditional gin, Hendricks might not be the best choice. If, like me, you think gin tastes terrible, Hendricks is great. Garnish it with a cuke.

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  57. Eating here tonight:

    www.dreamlandbbq.com

    Fuck. Yeah.

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  58. Anyone remember when the olympic gold medalist showed up at a party with a pint of gin & box of plastic spoons and convinced a bunch of people to snort gin with him?

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  59. Yes. It was not pthe most pleasant way to drink gin but at least we have a good story. "Ever done gym snorts? No?"

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  60. "Or gin snorts for that matter?"

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  61. snorting gin was indeed a genius idea. as was snorting jello shots. Unit M for Mensa.

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  62. please tell me you've had a stuntman. if not, clarence and i will bring the fixins to the beach this summer.

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  63. I've never had a man of any vocation.

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