Thursday, March 14, 2013

What Would Jesus, or at Least zman, Drive

My recent car post yielded an unprecedented outpouring of requests for more car posts. Exactly one person asked me for another car post and that is the biggest request for a follow-up post in my short tenure on the G:TB masthead.

But what to write?

I like cars and, as a result, am often asked for car-buying advice. My response is often that if you want a sedan there's no reason not to get a Honda Accord or a Toyota Camry; if you want a minivan there's no reason not to get a Honday Odyssey or a Toyota Sienna; and if you want an SUV there's no reason not to get a Honda Pilot or (if you want to go big) a Toyota Sequoia. All of these cars are reliable and sensibly priced in their respective segments, and the Accord can even be fun to drive.

However, no one is excited about getting any of these cars. They are transportational appliances designed to shuttle you, your family, and varying amounts of your possessions to work, school, and soccer games with minimal fanfare and inconvenience. If you don't like cars then you'll be fine.

For my money, I'd look elsewhere. Accords and Camrys can list over $30,000 once you option them up. The Pilot, Odyssey, and Sienna all start at about $30,000 and can get over $40,000 with exuberant optioning. And a well-dressed Sequoia can cost an eye-watering $64,000+! At these prices we can find something more interesting.

Like an Audi S6. Two certified pre-owned examples are for sale in Massachusetts for under $38,000. This is a cool car for a number of reasons but the primary allure, in my opinion, lies under the hood.



Volkswagen owns Audi and Lamborghini, and parts are shared between the brands in an effort to achieve economies of scale. So Adam Smith would be just as excited as I am about the V10 (i.e., 10 cylinder) engine taken from the Lamborghini Gallardo and shoehorned into an Audi A6, thereby creating the S6. The engine is actually slightly larger in the S6, rewarding the driver with 429 horsepower and 398 pound-feet of torque.

This means it is powerful, so much so that if you stomp on the gas it will slightly alter the Earth's rotation. Thus it is fast, but it's still a big comfortable luxury car that looks just like a regular A6, allowing you to glide along the highway in relative anonymity. Unless you do this:



Audi still makes the S6 but they dropped the V10 in favor of a twin-turbo V8 last year, so if you want the Lambo engine (and you do) look for one made between 2006 and 2012.

I can hear the accountants out there wondering about various practical things. Yes, it requires premium fuel. Yes, it swills gas like Clarence swills Dale's. Yes, you should get it serviced by a dealer. All this increases operating costs.

I can also hear the cogniscenti asserting that the new A6 has a supercharged V6 that is almost as powerful, probably just as fast, and comes with a full warranty (as opposed to the CPO remainder warranty). This is true, but it starts at about $50,000. Whether the warranty is worth an extra $12k is up to you.

My point is this: for less than a decked-out Honda Pilot you can get a 5-passenger Lamborghini. Every on-ramp will be a joy to attack. Every tailgating donkey will eat your dust when you have room to blast off. Every pimply fast and furious teen in a slammed Civic will be trounced from stoplight to stoplight. Even people who know nothing about cars will say "Oh, an Audi" so you'll increase your standing with valets and possibly your neighbors. And you get to listen to this whenever you want:

39 comments:

Dave said...

i am driving a toyota minivan appliance now, and a i really miss my old jeep cherokee. does audi make a minivan?

Dave said...

internet says in 2016. i assume it will be able to fly.

Marls said...

Don't you drive a station wagon?

zman said...

Wagons are the next installment of this series! And Audi made a handful of S6 wagons. Good luck finding one.

rob said...

i drive a camry. it's pretty boss.

zman said...

There's no reason not to drive a Camry.

rootsminer said...

I'm still flogging a 95 Passat Wagon with 221K on it, though it will get some rest now that there's sufficient daylight for me to resume bike commuting.

mayhugh said...

Every now and then I feel a little childish about revving my engine or accelerating as fast as I can. This post makes me know that that's okay.

Shlara said...

I drive an A4 convertible. It doesn't really go that fast, but it looks cool.

zman said...

My S4 convertible was the best car I ever owned. In fact it was the best thing I ever owned. None of my worldly possessions is anywhere near as close to perfect for its intended use as my beloved Audi. Alas, its intended use did not include schlepping a zkid.

rob said...

mark, wanna come to williamsburg in april?

http://www.wm.edu/news/stories/2013/kendrick-lamar,-big-boi-to-perform-at-william--mary123.php

T.J. said...

so...they got artists who are the exact opposite of “I am W&M”?

Mark said...

Sounds intriguing. FWIW, Kendrick Lamar is coming to a small venue in Orlando (Firestone) in September and I'm pretty psyched about it.

And I agree that there's nothing wrong with driving a Camry. I did for years. It's at over 190k miles and still going strong as my wife's weekend car (she has an Impala furnished by the Sheriff's office for M-F). I'm pushing an Accord these days.

Mark said...

TJ- I think you need to post your Guy Fieri lookalike pic here for the non tweeters at GTB.

rob said...

cosign

Clarence said...

Cosine? Tangent?

Marls said...

Round 2 of trying to get the Quesirito begins today. Round #1 resulted in a Chipotle quesadilla which was pretty damn good but not the holy grail of Chipotle secret items.

Only the penitent man shall pass...

zman said...

SohCahToa.

T.J. said...

It will be our afternoon filler.

Marls said...

In related news, Happy Pi Day everybody.

rob said...

did we know that todd boehly gave w&m a million cool ones (not to mention his part ownership of the dodgers)? i should've made better friends with that dude when he lived with us in the 'burg instead of spending the summer getting high and playing frisbee golf.

http://www.wm.edu/news/stories/archive/2010/annual-giving-123.php

zman said...

That's my Pi.

Jerry said...

Out like a Lamb. March is the frattiest month.

zman said...

I learned of Boehly's generosity while taking my cat to the vet. It's a remarkable gift.

Greg said...

Lousy Smarch weather.

Squeaky said...

Hi Gheorghies!

So this is the third time I'm trying to post this f'ing question. Blogger keeps deleting them. SOB.

Random question, as usual, for you all.

Should I host a 'rock' concert at my house?

Details:
The Band is Califone. You probably have never heard of them but think reductionist blues.

The living room tour details.

It was a lark when I threw my house in the mix. The band asked for people to volunteer a space in their house for up to 30-50 people for a show. Well they just asked if I wanted to host the Boston show.

My 20-something mind is saying hell yes. My 40ish mind is telling me hell no. Liability, Liability, Liability.

Anyway, what do you all think? And the wife has given it a green light, surprisingly.

Squeaky said...

Wow, third time is the charm. Fucking blogger. /bitterness

T.J. said...

"And the wife has given it a green light"

I'm thinking the first two times you posted, then deleted this, you had not yet been given that green light.

T.J. said...

And the answer is of course you do this, and you liveblog the shit out of it.

Squeaky said...

She'd given it the green light a while ago once she saw them corresponding on tweeter with me.

T.J. said...

You need to do this. I think we will all agree on that point.

rob said...

fuck and yes, squeak.

also, richmond: hahahahahahahahahaha.

Squeaky said...

And I used to have an A4 Avant (Audi's fancy word for station wagon) with a sport suspension. It was by far the best car to drive winter and summer. But it had one fatal flaw, a saddleback gas tank a.k.a The brokeback mountain of gas tanks. They never could get the gas gauge to show how much fuel was actually in my tank. So I ran out of gas several times thinking I had a quarter tank left. Still buy another Audi. Too much fun to drive.

Clarence said...

Squeaker, you'll only regret it if you don't do it. If you're scared of liability, draw up a disclaimer, but 50 people in someone's house seems like a remote possibility for total disaster.

Sounds awesome.

T.J. said...

your gas tank liked to bang dudes?

T.J. said...

also, just a warning, by request there will be new filler in 20 minutes or so...

continue to tell Squeaky to host this concert in that new post, if you will

zman said...

Squeaky, see if they can set up in the backyard. Fill out a party form and rope the area off. You'll be fine.

T.J. said...

and see if Snoop Dogg can stop by the event.

zman said...

Snoop Lion.