But I'm too lazy to come up with much. My beloved Bills will be atrocious this year, as Jerry noted in his Wheelhouse. This woman may be the only person in America who will be this excited to cheer for the Bills this year.
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Update: Glad to see zman throw a post up for kickoff weekend banter. I also had planned to get the world excited for Week 1 of the Inaugural Imaginary League. That's right folks, we haven't even called it fantasy football and you're already bored. But bear with us, briefly, and then jump in the comments to laugh at me for losing by 169 to Zman this week.
In brief, ten of us obviously wanted to waste more time on imaginary football at work, so here's the esteemed lineup of owners (with week 1 matchups):
Leinart Wig Company (TJ)
I couldn't even come up with a funny name. Great start to the season.
homeboys bonanza (zman)
I sense some very tense Monday and Tuesday conversations on "Zman and the Teej" over this league.
Sports! (Dennis)
I hope this is an homage to Huey Lewis.
Mr. Mashed Potatoes (GoldenBoy TNT)
Probably a reference I should get. Or not. Ted likes Philly. Enuff said.
JoeMontanaFishburne (Mark)
A great Week 1 matchup between the two clear winners in "Best Team Name"...
Paging Dr. Faggot (Geoff)
...though this name has to be #1 simply because it made it through the Yahoo filter unscathed.
Bears (Michael Jack Lang)
Worst. Name. Ever.
Shinola (Igor)
WILL HURRICANE IGOR RAVAGE THE LEAGUE WEEK 1!!!!! Jim Cantore will tell us at the half.
The Lumberjacks (Mayhugh)
Hopefully a reference to the classic Monty Python sketch.
The Seaward (WheelhouseJerry)
Not googling this one...don't think it's a Seinfeld reference...it is Jerry, so maybe Arrested Development. Just googled it...I guessed right.
I think we all agreed to chip in 20 bucks for this league. Excitement ensues.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
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421 comments:
1 – 200 of 421 Newer› Newest»If it's any consolation, the Bills will be better than my Bucs. I'm expecting 2-14. With that said, I still want to watch so I can monitor the progress of (what I believe) is the NFL's youngest team. Sadly, that won't happen today (or plenty of other Sundays, I'm betting) because their game is blacked out. So, I get to watch Phins-Bills.
Inaugural Imaginary League update added.
I'm getting Carolina-Giants, Bengals-Patriots for the early games. Pretty excited for both those games, for very different reasons. Cinci/NE should be a TD-fest.
Blogger picked a great day to shit the bed.
As I tried to comment about 5 times...I took the Giants in my King of the Hill pool this week. I really hope they don't open a new stadium by losing to Matt Moore at home.
TJ - TNT's team name is a reference to the "Turn Your Key, Maura" episode of Seinfeld. Because she talks to her food. And I'm pretty sure you were present for this conversation last weekend.
And my team name is one of the team names in Dodgeball. Yep, couldn't think of anything better under pressure.
Yep. I was. Flashbacks are awesome.
Am I gonna get to "hang wit da Teej" today?
Greg -- Don't beg. Its not a good look.
Nice update by the Teej. You know, I had no idea Geoff was a doctor. I did, however, know he was a...oh nevermind.
Gus Johnson doing Bills/Fins. I like.
Greg knows how to find me. He just needs to use his decoder ring. That...and actually check his email.
Hopefully you left some sticks and rocks outside your place, Teej, because Greg doesn't knock.
The panthers linemen have really boring names.
Red Zone channel just cut away for a one yd Tebow dive at the 40. What the fuck?
Charlie Martin just got concussed.
That Bob Sanders stat says it all:
Games Played - 47
Games Missed - 49
Dierdorf already ruining Colts game for me.
Kevin Boss on his way to the locker room, next play Godfrey gets the pick. Not a great start for Jerry.
Shot of the Bengals bench - Ray Maualuga's hair is sensational. It almost covers his number.
Not liking what I see out of the Giants so far...
Jay Cutler, pick #1 on the young season. Death, taxes...and Cutler INTs.
I would like to know what games our resident gambling fiend Michael Jack laid some dough on...
TJ beat me to it. I'm hoping Martz can get Cutler near 30 picks this year...
Giants O-line looks like they have no idea how to run-block. Chris Snee was slow on a pull and knocked Bradshaw down. Anything to the outside has been squashed. And then Matt Dodge got way too excited to be punting. Somewhat lucky the D could hold them to a FG after they started from the Giants' 30.
Jay Cutler - the only individual player I actively root against in the NFL.
ZOLTAN MESKO SIGHTING!!!!
I just made the first nonsensical impulse pickup of the inaugural imaginary season.
Or...I made a waiver claim. Lame.
Lemme guess - Vince Young?
Close. Nate Washington.
Based on fact Red Zone Channel hasn't flipped to Bills/Fins once I take it the game sucks balls?
The Dolphins heard me.
The Bengals need to remember they are a running team, even though they have two whiners playing WR.
Just got back from Time Warner in Queens and I'm waiting for my "new" (but extremely dinged-up) cable box to boot. Did I miss any football?
Uh oh. Tom Brady looks like badass Tom Brady again. Despite that haircut.
You said it TJ. His balls look great. You know what I mean.
Z-man, you didn't miss much out of your Bills.
Wes Welker is a medical marvel.
Who has Brady in our league?
Cable box finished booting and then re-booted. Very bitter.
On my way to Queens I saw a kid in his early 20's rocking a CJ Spiller jersey. Buffalo, not Clemson. I felt bad for him.
IGOR!!!! has Brady.
Hurrican Igor has struck land, folks.
I like Scott Hanson being a dick during RZC highlights, pointing out CBS just showed a TD the RZC had 9 minutes earlier.
Scott Caan and Jinn from Lost star in the new Hawaii 5-0? Where did this come from?
"This cable box is not authorized for service." Angry.
Whic Bucs are worse? Pittsburgh Pirates or Tampa Bay.
Has any QB ever been benched for their brother? Because it might happen today.
Did Javon Ringer just steal a Chris Johnson TD? Mother f'er.
That's the thing nobody acknowledges about the Bengals. Carson Palmer just isn't that good. And he hasn't been for at least the last 3 years.
And the Bucs are fucking atrocious. I hope Raheem Morris has a good Realtor. Actually. No I don't. Fuck that guy.
I'm truly excited for the USA-Turkey game.
Rian Lindell lining up for a 63 yard FG.
Short. That would've been good. Gus Johnson was ready to explode.
Is Week 1 "Try to blow out you kicker's leg" day?
I'm going back to Queens for a new new cable box.
Wow. The Bucs are turrrrible.
Bernie "zman" Goez. Falling Down. Laces Out.
Someone's about to break...
Ronder Barber just textd me "LMB and EAD".
OB of KB?
Awesome TD catch by Mike Williams.
I caught a 20 min discussion on espn radio this morning about how the Bengals are the nfl's best team.
I'm not getting enough games. But the bright side is I'm seeing more than Z-man.
Kimo von Oelhoffen may have completely changed Palmer's career trajectory. He hasn't been the same since that injury - he does some thinks good but nothing great and not much even very good.
Speaking of the Redskins game (no one was) I have a hunch its going to be a 9-6 shitfest of a game...something like 3-0 Cowboys at the half. Get excited.
Skins love losing close. And ugly.
Beast Alert: Hakeem Nicks.
My new fantasy stud - Stephen Gostkowski. Make it happen, Steve-O
Boo
The USA-Turkey game is already getting chippy. Crowd is on fire.
NBA TV?
Marvin Lewis must have given a doozy of a halftime speech.
ESPN. I feel like I need 5 TVs in my living room right now, two is not sufficient.
Dennis Dixon showing "moxie" in Pittsburgh.
Mayhugh was totally right. Giants' O-line is playing horrendously.
Jags got screwed on that PI call.
Did the Giants line just get old all of a sudden?
Good to see the Raiders are improved.
Oh Jay Cutler, you are hilarious.
OchoTweeto!
The Browns have a black punter?
/backing.away.slowly.
Eli and the G-Men need to score a TD here. Please. Fuckers.
Martz with play action pass paly from two foot line.
Fail.
Fans booing lustily.
Mark is torn - Joe haden just got torched on a Tampa TD.
The Bears are also awful.
Hakeem Nicks is collecting TDs. He's also collecting dust on my bench in my $500 fantasy league. Fuckfuckfuck.
Why is Brandon Jacobs so painfully bad in short yardage?
He's channeling Ron Dayne.
Falcons and Steelers aren't interested in your stinkin' TDs.
Arian Foster. Near 200 yards rushing. Well then.
Oh Tampa bay...
The Bears were down 1 pt halfway thru the 4th...and they went for it on 4th and goal from the 1? Maybe the dumbest thing in the history of football.
Arian Foster...kicking it on my bench.
It looks like there are A LOT of bad teams. Bears, Detroit, Tampa, Cleveland, Denver, Jax at the least. Something tells me the Panthers are secretly dreadful aside from their running game.
Foster has 32 points in our fantasy league. Not to rub it in or anything Geoff, because that's about as much as my whole team.
Hey Steve Slaton, hope you look forward to free agency Tuesday.
In our league. Not in real life (I don't think).
Just got back from Time Warner. They apparently gave me an HD cable box. I don't have an HD tv so the wires don't fit. Fucking livid.
Wait...you have to go back AGAIN?
Denver's kicker has terrible arm tats.
Jeff Reed, not making friends.
What the deuce is going on in Houston?
Calvin Johnson just fucked all of Chicago, without lube.
Wow. If this gets overturned...
The Bears are some lucky bastards.
I have a picture but no sound. Fucking Bose.
jags football....catch the so-so'ness
I have sound. I better get a beejay for my efforts today. Otherwise no Mad Men or True Blood tonight for the zwoman.
Calvin Johnson and Detroit just got royally screwed. You can bring Mike Pereira in to explain how 2 seconds after he caught the ball and fell down the ball hit the ground and came loose. Neat. Ask 50 people to watch that replay and 49 will say TD. The 50th is Teejay, who will say TJ!!!!!!
jags football...predictable frustration
He palmed the ball post catch. After hitting the ground. How is that not possession?
The Clausen Era gets an early start...
jags football...don't get too excited yet, they'll likely fuck it up.
And just checked out ESPN. Way to be, USA.
how 'bout them jmu dukes heh guys? heh? ha? how 'bout 'em?
JM-who?
I like the early nonsense we're seeing in the Rams/Cards cripple fight.
Danny boy, you should indeed be whooping it up. I know we did after whipping UVA last year... And we did it in W&M's uniquely dorky way.
Igor, go look at Tom Brady's day.
glad to see mathis has chosen to go through at least another year without cutting his hair.
jags win. brohsome.
Hey, Aaron Rodgers, not cool dude.
USA.
Playing against Arian Foster and Chris Johnson in money league fantasy. Bumming.
That Calvin Johnson call/rule was horrific.
Sam Elliott has a cool voice. Now doing voice over for both Coors and Dodge. Makes we want to drink and drive.
The Dude abides.
Oh, and my team name is a very lame reference to The Jerk. The movie, not Rob.
he's not my michael, he's JERmichael
look at you guys with your 124 comments. nice work. way too much effort to read them all, but i'm sure they're awesome.
You should at least read Zman's. Together, they paint a great example of overcoming adversity, and there's some good bitter in there.
Why are so many helmets flying off today?
kevin durant needs to be celebrated in a big way
Whitney Kolb = attainably hot.
No beejay yet but the zwoman is cheffing up some mackin' cheese. I like the Eagles' new unis. And there will be no tennis tonight in this weather.
Yikes - that Weaver injury looked bad. Some CL's may have been torn there.
Seahawks are unstoppable. Or something.
skins are wearing gold pants tonight, per sportsbog. get excited.
I hope Weaver's okay. He's a Satellite Scorpion just like yours truly (I may have mentioned this once before).
Rashean Mathis' hair is absolutely ridiculous. It covers up most of his number. Even if he was a woman, he'd be overdue for a haircut.
And I really, really love Kevin Durant. Can't wait to see him team up with LeBron, Wade and some of the others from the 2008 team in London in 2012.
At this point, shouldn't we be at least a little suspicious of Donald Driver and PEDs? Dude doesn't age.
One more thing: Its really not a big deal that Arian Foster is "kicking it" on Dr. Faggot's bench as my team has scored a total of 25.7 points today.
dustin johnson...up 1 over paul casey who is in the clubhouse...going to last hole...can he finally close one out? this story and more in about 14 minutes.
ryan moore - dapper
Someone recently told me that Alex Smith was going to have huge year. Someone lied pretty bad.
So...the Kevin Kolb era...maybe not gonna be so great, huh?
Body Bag Game II: Electric Boogaloo in Philly. Except this time the Eagles are sharing the pain.
Hey, D-train, thanks for keeping us up on the minor golf tourney results on the 1st Sunday of NFL football. Preesh.
Pete Carroll is still a terrible NFL coach. I saw what he did in NE and NY. I know he has mucho suck still left in him.
Seattle up by 22. Glad I don't gamble.
Jerry, you have unprotected sex with strangers on beaches in other states while little kids ride on motorbikes within dangerous proximity. You gamble.
federererer and erin brokovic in 5the set....federrrererer up 5-4
will see what other sports i can find
And he orders out.
Hey...slow down on the unprotected. My record on that front is worthy of the HoF. If there were one for that.
would anyone else like to see vick come back and make this a game, thus creating a potential controversy in philly?
No. I would like to see Vick be eaten by a pack of dingos.
"Maybe the dingos ate you backup QB?"
Michael Vick can still run pretty damn well. Throw and complete passes...not so much.
Lance Harbor?
Florida State hasn't been the same since Harbor tore up his knee. They'd never of had to turn to Chris Rix if Harbor had made it on campus.
un . . . pro . . . tec . . . ted
I'd like to see Vick sent to permanent college football as purgatory for his crimes. He'd go to a different "edgy" program in need of a QB each year. Instead of Masoli, Ole Miss takes Vick. Next year he goes to WVU. Then he livens up a program like Washington State. It would be awesome.
vil...i...i....gant
It sucks that we can only chant in 2+2 syllables.
Told you Rams/Cards had comical scoring potential.
I hope Philly sucks this year. I have no particular reason to hate them but I'm fucking tired of them as a team and their fans are annoying as shit.
how 'bout this then - is there anyone else here besides me that's really diggin berman's mustache?
Everyone should hate them. It's an integral part of the human condition.
Mine was a reply to you telling me to "slow down" on the unprotected, a Jim Ignatowski nod. As always, I'm a bit too old for you guys.
Aaron Rodgers can toss the old bean around, that's for sure. I hate to say this but I really like the Eagles helmets. Tastefully simple.
Is Larry Fitzgerald gonna have to choke a Derek Anderson?
I never, ever get Igor's references, and I didn't spend my childhood trapped in Germany like Greg. It's okay though because Igor always explains them.
Matt Hasslebeck and Hakeem Nicks, just hanging out on my bench.
/fail
There's a fine line between stupid and clever.
Please don't make me explain that one.
Fred Jackson's ypc (4.8) was higher than Trent Edwards' ypa (4.1). Both were better than starting RB CJ Spiller's 0.9 ypc. I can't wait for the Jake Locker era to begin.
Nice throw by Vick down the middle to Celek. Whether Andy Reid wants one or not, he's going to have a QB controversy.
Settle down, gramps. I don't want you to break a hip.
TD throw. QB controversy is on.
Controversy status: Budding
I wonder if the Vick signing was a shrewed plan to get rid of McNabb and insure against Kolb's suckitude?
Andrew Luck >> Jake Locker
Stupid/clever was intended to depict my references; sorry if it came out more crankpot. That's how everything sounds when you're pushing 40.
At this point, Andy Reid will welcome any controversy that has nothing to do with his progeny.
Aaron Rodgers, buddy, you're killing me.
Shhh...... The Arian Foster Nation is born.
foster child
If that Calvin Johnson TD/non-TD had happened in the playoffs, it would be talked about all summer and here would be a new "Palm Rule" next fall. Week 1, Detroit... eh.
Wow. Here come the Iggles.
I know all that dog stuff happened, but Vick is still pretty great to watch.
Yes. Very entertaining. I didn't realize I missed watching Vick play, but I did.
great finish, great call.
AS IF!
I hate the Wildcat as a short yardage option for Vick. The wildcat in that situation is most effective with a battering ram (Ronnie Brown, Tebow, etc). It just doesn't work with a elusive 200 lb guy.
Come on Sammy B, pull this thing out.
Mayhugh loves the Redskins.
Sam Bradford threw 55 passes today. Way to ease the kid in.
Skins busting out new home uniforms tonight. Old burgundy jerseys...new gold pants. I like.
Jerry with a Sammy Baugh reference. I wouldve guessed Igor there.
Think Jerry was making a "Bradford a native american" joke, Sparky.
I need the Redskins defense to absolutely pummel Romo en route to a single digit point night for Tony Two Tone.
It works on so many levels...
Michael Jack looks like he will have highest scoring team of week in the imaginary league. But how did his real gambling go?
The uniforms are classy, just like Tony Dungy. Starting to get nervous for the game.
I think the Cowboys will beat the Skins tonight, possibly handily...but all these folks picking Dallas to win the Super Bowl? I just aint seein' it...
Just because you're a racist, Geoff...
Faith Hill is still bringing the wood.
I just want the Skins to look competitive and somewhat organized.
Faith Hill looking like the wheels are starting to fall off! Joan Jett cover! Al Michaels' rug! Must be NFL Football on Sunday night.
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