Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Binky Griptite's Ghetto Funk Tennis Hour

Bill Simmons recently mentioned this Sports Illustrated article which attributes Luis Gonzalez's late-career surge in home runs to an open batting stance and using more pine tar. Simmons points to this article as the perfect story to sum up baseball's steroid era.

Last week's Sports Illustrated included this article on Rafael Nadal. I suspect it will become the perfect story to sum up tennis' steroid era. S.L. Price writes:
It's that attitude that had made Nadal—a natural righthander who was raised on clay and once used his serve merely to start rallies—the best lefthander since Rod Laver, an all-surface player with one of the best volleys in the game, and a server whose average delivery had risen in the past year from 107 mph to 119. Then, in an August practice session before the Open, Nadal shifted the grip on his racket to stabilize his wrist and began popping serves in the low 130s. He was broken only five times in New York.
So Nadal picked up 12 MPH on his serve through hard work? Then he picked up another 11+ MPH by shifting the grip on his racket? I'm not sure that hard work and a grip shift adds that much pop. And it took him 8 years on the pro tour to realize that he was holding his racket wrong? And he's a natural rightie?!?

I think Nadal picked up some extra oomph at Dr. Galea's office.

Here's a photo of Nadal taken at this year's U.S. Open.


Here's an undated photo I found (in TR's bathroom, of all places); I'm not sure if it was altered.


I'm not the first person to think that tennis has a steroid problem. Go to that link for photos of insanely jacked female tennis players ... if you're into that sort of thing.

48 comments:

d-train said...

one of the 13 reasons why i don't watch tennis

Igor said...

Reason #8: "Catgut is inhumane, and Muffin and Snowball are my world."

TR said...

Nadal is pretty outrageously ripped for a guy whose primary fitness activity makes the accumulation of muscle mass unlikely.

We should get Lupica, Albom, Bill Conlin and John Saunders in a room together to talk about this. That would be awesome.

d-train said...

lupica. he's my favorite. what would i rather do? watch an hour of tennis or 4 minutes of lupica?
tennis, definitely.

Marls said...

Like your Popeye, he eats his spinach!

zman said...

A colleague from work blew off his girlfriend's friend's wedding to attend Burning Man. For some reason she hasn't talked to him since.

Geoff said...

This weekend I was driving down I-95 and saw a license plate that said "THNDR CK". I pointed to it and said to my wife "There goes ol' Thunder Cock..." She responded with "THAT is the first thing that comes into your mind when you see that?"


Am I missing something...could it be anything other than Thunder Cock?

T.J. said...

Thunder Cock is obviously the correct answer.

Mark said...

I'd like to make fun of Geoff here, but I have to say I agree with him.

Igor said...

There is nothing else it could possibly be.

Igor said...

...other than Thin Dr. Calvin Klein. That's the obvious first thought.

Geoff said...

Could he be from Thunder Creek?

zman said...

Maybe he's a weather enthusiast, one of those nuts who chases after tornadoes and such, and the "CK" is supposed to mean "seek"?

Squeaky said...

Maybe they prefer "Thin Doctor Cock"?

rob said...

r.i.p. greg giraldo. but not girardo.

rob said...

i'm having a colonoscopy friday. you guys want me to liveblog the preparations tomorrow?

zman said...

Streaming video? And by streaming, I mean ...

Dave said...

is dr. thundercock giving you the colonoscopy?

what happened to cute and slender womens tennis players?

TR said...

The Greg Giraldo news is pretty big. The guy was a kick-ass standup comic. He made his way onto the roast circuit with Jeffrey Ross. Seemed like a dude who had his shit together, but the OD story indicates he was a bit of a sneaky party animal. He was only 44. Bummer.

Shlara said...

I agree with you Geoff. That license plate says "Thunder Cock"

zman said...

And Shlara knows about that type of thing.

d-train said...

Contador - F
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
alberto says he got some bad meat.

d-train said...

one or two interesting facts in this one...

http://tinyurl.com/2e7tdfh

sorry igor. never did check out embedding instructions a couple of weeks ago.

Squeaky said...

TJ, something right up your alley.

http://tbz.me/vB8ai

Bacorn Dog

rob said...

breakfast: lime jello, apple juice, coffee.

Geoff said...

http://flathatnews.com/content/74125

Let's all jam ourselves.

rob said...

dumbledore's rolling over in his grave

d-train said...

rob - how many el bees you trying to lose?
u off the sauce too?

rob said...

d-train, you're not paying attention. read a few comments back.

Geoff said...

You can all stop begging and emailing me--my 2010 Ryder Cup preview is up over at the Wheeledhome.

rob said...

bitter - thought that one of the few upsides of working from home today and eating clear liquids would be getting to watch the cup. which starts tomorrow. calendar reading is fundamental.

rob said...

i strenuously object to your take on matt kuchar. strenuously. he's like the joe montana character from the old snl sketch ('i'm going upstairs to masturbate'). i don't think anything ruffles him.

other than that, nice work, geoff.

and yes, i just commented about one blog on another. social media cross-pollination, bitches.

Geoff said...

I'll tell you who can't be ruffled: former U.S. Solicitor General Ted Olsen.

I really do want to like Kuchar, but I can't make it happen. I think its the look on his eternally sweaty face.

rob said...

ted olsen is a pretty righteous dude. for a conservative.

Geoff said...

His interview on Larry King the day after 9/11, in which he calmly and dispassionately described his cell phone conversation with his wife as she flew towards the Pentagon and her certain death...one of the most amazing things I've seen. That guy is a rock.

d-train said...

rob - i apologize. and would appreciate it if you didn't scold me in a public venue. good luck with your rectal exam. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did.

d-train said...

geoff...nice review.
a couple of items. 1) the mcilroy comments i think have been blown way out of proportion - i don't think there's a player out there that hasn't at one time or another said they wouldn't like to play against tiger. this comment was made more than a month ago yet we're hearing about it now. and though tiger has acted like it annoys him, i don't buy it. he's using it tactically.
2) x-factor....asst captains, yes, asst captains - we get CRUSHED here...our guys are a bunch of f'n jellyfish. yeah, they're fine characters and have had nice careers, but really? those guys have as much chance at getting our team fired up as...well, i can't come up with anything - no shot though. NONE WHATSOEVER. their asst captains - mcginley - clarke - sergio - and bjorn....f'n a...the other end of the spectrum. and to steal writer jason sobel's new nickname for pavin - borey. so true. he's lame.
i hope i'm wrong but i think we get whipped. i predicted our upset in '08 for the record, sans tiger. also have been to and played celtic manor...just bragging here, no point to that comment. well, actually maybe one - there is more room there for the rowdy brits, probably moreso than any ryder cup venue in history. it's sawgrass with twice as much space for spectators. it will be loud and ugly. love III probably won't come out of his room he's such a f'n pu**y. the others will be in the chapel, not that there's anything wrong with that.

d-train said...

and love ian p....he's lives for this event and will crush it.
bubba w....toolbox. that guy would rather show you how he can draw a wedge versus make a good shot. short on smarts.

Geoff said...

Strongly agree re: our asst captains...DL3 couldn't motivate me to brush my teeth and Paul Goydos has a reputation as an acerbic twit...and that's among his friends--both of 'em. You might be over-selling their Asst caps--agree that Sergio and Clarke are awesome locker room guys...but Bjorn and McGinley aren't really blowing my skirt up.

I think the key to the Euro team might be the Molinari's...there's an expectation that they'll be unbeatable in fourballs and foursomes...if that plays out, we're fucked.

Geoff said...

Apparently Borey is considering pairing Mickelson with Dustin J in alt shot. What's the max number of golf balls each guy is allowed to carry?

Geoff said...

Our asst caps in 2008: Olin Browne, Dave Stockton and Ray Floyd. Stockton and Floyd, while old, are significantly more inspiring than this year's squad of bedwetters.

Dave said...

can someone contact me when the ryder cup comment thread is over?

Geoff said...

Sure, we'll let you know. In the meantime go write 5,000 words on something I don't care about.

Geoff said...

Hey Dave...here are tomorrow's morning pairings! Hot off the presses.

http://tinyurl.com/2dm7dua

zman said...

Golf comments in a tennis post. We've gone plaid.

rob said...

you asked for it, z

Mark said...

I really enjoy the Ryder Cup but there's zero chance I'm watching any of it before Sunday. I'll be too busy cooking meth and mentally preparing myself for Alabama.

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