Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?

Scene: Redskins Park, Tuesday September 21st, 3pm.
After rushing for 2 yards in 2 games, Coach Mike Shanahan and RB Coach Bobby Turner have decided it is time for Larry Johnson to go. Apparently that kinda output is not what this new coaching staff expected, to which I ask, what were they smoking? (and what are they paying?)

The normally reserved Shanahan and always impressionable Turner however decide to have some fun with this otherwise mundane release of a non-productive female-hating RB...

Coach: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Turner: Cat Game? What's the record?
Coach: Gibbs did six, but I think you can do ten.
Turner: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'

[Shanahan laughs, then buzzes Frieda to have Larry shown in]

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the 10 yard disoriented run last week...
Turner: All right meow. (1) Hand over your playbook and minibar key.
Turner: Your minibar key? Hurry up meow. (2)

[Shanahan gives the peace sign over LJ's shoulder]

Larry Johnson: Sorry.
Turner: Is there something funny here LJ?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Turner: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
Turner: All right meow, (3) where were we?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Turner: Am I saying meow?
Larry Johnson: I thought...
Turner: Don't think LJ. Meow, (4) do you know how slow you were going?
Turner: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Turner: Do I look like a cat to you, LJ? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

[Shanahan is peeing his pants with laughter]

Turner: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
Turner: Do you see me eating mice?
Turner: You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson: Yes sir.
Turner: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to release you today. No buts meow. (8) It's the way of the Not-For-Long league.
Turner: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Turner: Meow! (10)


zman said...

I think you missed a meow. Almost purrfect.

Squeaky said...

She's been meowed before on these pages but Sharon Jones is meow cool.


Is Caturday early this week on G:TB?

Geoff said...

37.9% of American adults have a college degree...really drives home what an out of touch elitist I am...and that feeling is like a warm blanket on a cold night to me.

TR said...

Would Christine O' Donnell be where she is today if guys didn't look at her and think "yeah, I'd probably bang her if I could"?

zman said...

Hey Squeaky, yer link is busted.

rob said...

i do hope you fine folks got a chance to enjoy fire joe morgan day on deadspin

Squeaky said...

damn link no worky. and i even previewed. blogger fail.

Try this one:

Geoff said...

Blockbuster just filed for Chapter 11. I for one am shocked. Wonder what went wrong?

T.J. said...

Survivor Pool suggestions this week, anyone? I can't use the Giants or the Packers.

T.J. said...

Disregard. The Pats are at home against the Bills. That was easy.

Geoff said...

New England, Pittsburgh or Philly.

T.J. said...

Um, what the fuck?

zman said...

That story would have been even better if the man said to the cop as he was arrested, "I ain't no soft sucker with a parrot in his shoulder."

T.J. said...

Stan Kasten just retired? What the hell did the Nats do to him?

Geoff said...

Apparently the Lerners pushed him out. I'm sure it will all work out well in the end.