Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Soccer Filler with Potential that I Do Not Tap

This video was provided G:TB's correspondent in the sky, Nags Head local meteorologist "Windy Buttocks."  It is SFW.  I find it fascinating on several levels.  First, of course, is the level of accuracy this guy has with his shots. I wish I knew how many tries it took him to complete each stunt.

The second thing I like is the effect the background music has on the tone.  If you watch him while listening to Plain White T''s "Hey There Delilah," then the video takes on a meditative quality.  But if you watch the second version, his exploits have a much different feel.  Though I think "Hey There Delilah" is a lame song, and I prefer the music of the second band, I prefer the lameness for this video. 






But my favorite thing about the video is his style . . . I love his confident walk away after each shot.  This ALMOST inspired me to make my own video reply to this.  After my kids and I watched this, we immediately went outside and set up some shots.  I tried to kick the ball into a wagon as my son pulled it across the front yard, but instead slammed the ball off the air-conditioner repair guy's van that was parked in my drive-way.  My wife found this hysterically funny.  I did not point out to her that I had once (at this person's insane request) kicked a motorcycle helmet off a dude's head with a particularly precise and powerful shot.

So for a day or two I was inspired to make my own parody of this video, a film wherein I set up and take amazing shots around my town, and I always confidently walk away before I see the result . . . and the result is always bad.  Broken windows, a lady with her hair in curlers waving a rolling pin at me, concussed children, dented cars, wounded dogs.  I would never hit my target . . . but always hit something else.  It's a fantastic idea but I don't have the time or patience to execute it.  In some ways, it might be harder to film than the original.  And I don't even have a video camera.  So I'm giving the idea to the internet and maybe someone else will do it the justice it deserves.  Thanks in advance, internet!

68 comments:

TR said...

He gets extra points for doing these tricks in what appear to be jorts and high-tops.

Dave - you should buy jorts today to fully prepare. They seem to be en vogue with the NYC hipster crowd this summer, so you'd have that going for you.

d-train said...

other sports should be considered too...like golf. bring a driver, a golf ball, and a little mat to hit off. hit at moving vehicles or people, through office windows in manhattan. THAT would be cool.

zman said...

Capri jorts nonetheless.

T.J. said...

Jarts, way cooler than jorts.

d-train said...

i like cankles.

T.J. said...

Orioles won again last night...

zman said...

Mitch McConnell actually wrote this sentence:

"[T]he true measure of a statesman may well be the ability to rise above partisan political considerations to objectively pass upon another aspiring human being."

Is an aspiring human being a zygote? But can zygotes aspire? How much cellular differentiation is required before aspiration can occur? Did he mean an aspirational human being, like a dog that thinks he's a person? Or a human being who has aspirations?

How do you pass upon another human being? Is that what happened when girls would give me the Heisman at College Delly? Or is that what I did right before getting the Heisman? Maybe this is what Tom Brady does for a living? Or what Rafael Nadal does when Roger Federer comes to the net?

Greg said...

Mark it 8 dude.

T.J. said...

Phone's ringing, Dude.

Thank you, Donny.

Squeaky said...

Very impressive but a lot of these shots seem to be about the same distance.

Greg said...

I like how he let's the tricks do the talking...and he's the only guy in the video. If this were made by Americans, each shot would be followed by yells, screams and high-fives from all his friends, (not that I'm against all of the aforementioned revelry). Then again, if it took several hours to do each shot, it would be hard to get people to stick around.

d-train said...

http://bit.ly/d1kORM

was so so close at predicting another pol's death yesterday after the stevens ditch, but chose not to do so in an effort to maintain some modicum of class and respect at gtb.

so who's next?

Squeaky said...

http://tbz.me/sA7ph

This album released this week is better than the new Arcade Fire album. That is all.

T.J. said...

d-train:

blago

TR said...

Squeaky left out the name of the band he is pimping: The Budos Band. I've heard some of their stuff, but never pulled the trigger b/c it seemed like it could get repetitive. Is this a strong white for the band? The Arcade Fire comparison doesn't work for me b/c I think Arcade Fire is soft and a bit pretentious.

Judging by this video, Budos Band looks like Kim Thayil from Soundgarden sitting in with a smush of Slipknot and Antibalas. Which adds up to one big pile of awesome, IMO.

zman said...

For what it's worth, The Budos Band gets a strong white from me as does Daptone Records in general.

T.J. said...

zman, get on the fucking twitter.

zman said...

Who, other than perhaps TR's mammy, wants anything to do with my tweets?

T.J. said...

You're bitter.

And sometimes wordy.

Use the tweet.

T.J. said...

Hey Priceline, when I bid 69 bucks for a hotel room...you sure as hell better have something for me.

Dave said...

i like the new arcade fire album.

but, of course, i am pretentious.

i am playing pick-up soccer tonight, perhaps i will try to kick a ball from the field into my open car window . . . and whether i make it or not, i'm doing the cool walk-away. it will either be really intimidating or really asinine. and i'll be wearing jorts.

zman said...

I thought you couldn't open your car windows.

Squeaky said...

Strong White to The Budos Band and Daptone Records in general. If you are into soul/funk. Daptone also has Sharon Jones and DKs.

The new Arcade Fire album lacks those emotional highs and lows from past releases. It's pretty mellow all the way through but a decent album.

Dave, good challenge is trying to hit the crossbar from the 18. We used to play for 6 packs. First one to hit wins. And it was usually a short game. Maybe 3 or 4 misses before someone would hit it. Just like TJ's mammy.

Greg said...

I'm going to see Mayday Radio at the Wonderland if anybody is interested.

T.J. said...

The maitre'd at Chez Paul says otherwise...

Mark said...

TJ's Mammy. Got to love her. Does she still have a peg leg with a kickstand?

zman said...

No, but she still has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Marls said...

Mr. Fabulous is not letting Greg see Mayday Radio?

Greg said...

TJ....you should join me at the show. We can poo-poo mainstream music with columbia heights hipsters.

Dave said...

from the steve miller band to mayday radio . . .

Mark said...

Poo.

Igor said...

Around the horn this evening...

Makes you wonder what might've happened if hey'd hired Buck Showalter earlier.

And the usage of the J-Roll moniker for Jimmy Rollins is a stoner's delight.

Harold Reynolds in a shirt and tie . . . also sporting a baseball glove in studio. If he'd been wearing the Rawlings at ESPN, he might not have gotten fired. Everyone loves an ass-grabber joke.

Igor said...

Denny's offers fish tacos? I think you're actually hoping they got them from the Gulf.

Igor said...

Manny Acosta "Lot More Than I'm Actually Worth" allows yet another grand slam. Honestly, guys, I understand that's the quickest way to get rid of the pressure of a bases loaded situation, but that's nine times this year. Nine . . . times.

I miss Misery Loves Company. Almost as much as I miss the company for my misery. The Mets fuckIng suck. Still.

Igor said...

So, the Extra Innings package. I have a much more cost effective solution. Instead of watching the Mets all summer, I could pay a guy $20 to ring my doorbell 4 nights a week, and each time I open the door he can kick me in the balls. I'd save $140 and tons of wasted time.

Igor said...

So before the era of blogging, I'd be drinking alone and have all these unfunny jokes I'd think of and think, "Gee, I wish my friends were here to hear them." Now, with Gheorghe, everything is different. I can take the time to type them and think, "Gee, I wish my friends were here to read them."

But it's okay. Igor had a great weekend.

Igor said...

Lance Berkman, hands like feet at first base. Elephant feet. Somewhere Rob grins a wry smile to himself. And winks at his velveteen portait of Butch Hobson.



Brought to you by Dale's Pale Ale. Always in the can. Half in the bag.

Igor said...

I'm compiling this extended soliloquy into my one-man show I call "The Vas Deferens Monologues." Look for it in coffeehouses in Dupont Circle, Key West, Fire Island, Latham, Provincetown, Chelsea, and Piscataway.

TR said...

Sorry to bust up the Igoliloquy, but if you like Dale's Pale Ale, you should try Whale's Tail Pale Ale. I drank a whole bunch of them a couple weeks ago and blacked out. May have been the only time I've ever blacked out on straight beer drinking.

Point being that they were so delicious that I kept eating them on an empty stomach. Not sure how far south they sell them, but they're another delicious canned pale ale.

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Igor said...

TR! I was about to start bawling about my lost friend Wilson.

Whale's Tail. I will absolutely look for it. Don't tell (my other inanimate friend) Dale, but I'm a beer slut. I just hope they sell it 'round here.

Igor said...

In other beer news, Norfolk has sprouted another solid Virginia microbrewery. The Norfolk Brewing Company (creative minds down here) has a few brews that hold up alongside VA breweries Starr Hill (Charlottesville), Legend (Richmond), St. George's (Hampton), and of course Dominion (Belgium). The tastiest variety thus far is the Norfolk Canyon, an IPA named after a girl I went to high school with.

Marls said...

Igor,
I still share the misery. At least you got to change the fucking channel. I was at bailout ballpark tonight for Manny Acosta's 8th inning coathanger abortion show. Clearly, Manuel has thrown in the towel. Acosta clearly has nothing, but he leaves him in to pitch to Mora. Everybody in the Goddamm ballpark knew acosta had nothing. So what does Jerry do? He has Warthen waddle out to apparently tell Accosta to fall behind 3-1, which Manny promptly does. I turn to the guy next to me and say "he does not want to go 3-2, fastball, homer to left". Some might call me a soothsayer, but in reality the odds of that happening were close to 1:1. This team is just so predictably shitty it is painful. Nut punch after fucking nut punch. Year after year after year. Fuck you Jerry Manuel. Fuck you Omar. Fuck you Fred and Jeff Willpon. Fuck you you fucking fucks.

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d-train said...

a nice start to the morning getting caught up on the igorisms and the pain he shares w/marls....good shit!
baseball - a huge waste of time, seriously.

Marls said...

Looks like K-Rod had the same reaction to last nights game as I did:

"I'm not saying [expletive] anything," Rodriguez said. "I got nothing to [expletive] say to you guys. Did I [expletive] pitch? Did I [expletive] pitch? Then why do I got to [expletive] talk?"

However, unlike K-Rod, I had not just finished beating the shit out of my father in law.

Not good times in Flushing.

zman said...

Whale's Tail is the shit. Available on tap throughout New England, brewed on Nantucket by Cisco Brewers, and featured prominently in my not-yet-and-maybe-never-started elopement post.

Igor said...

D-train, I prefer "igorithms." They're like algorithms, but slightly less mathy.

Igor said...

Forbes magazine has ranked the Top 50 colleges in the nation -- as rated by the students themselves. I was dead certain that William & Mary would be nowhere near this list, because during and after college I have never met any set of people as bitter and negative about their choice of universities as the W&M crowd, but here it is... #47.

zman said...

Centre Collge: #14
Whitman College: #20
Kenyon: #22
Wabash: #32
Wash. U.: #45
Dartmouth: #98
Duke: #104
Cornell College (Iowa): #105
Cornell U. (Ithaca NY): #207
Gtown: #106
U. of Michigan: #200
Northwestern: #212

That's a fishy list.

d-train said...

clearly the list should read, "Top 50 Colleges - Asexual"

Igor said...

I misspoke - we're #46. Which is 2/3 of 69.

Duke is #41.
Northwestern is #18.

zman said...

Looks like I had the 2009 list:

http://tinyurl.com/nyaqxh

d-train said...

big monty loving feud between jim gray & little pavin...

TR said...

I think we all win if pictures of Monty in his birthday suit never see the light of day.

Mark said...

Just bought tickets to go see MGMT in Orlando. I'd set the odds of me punching a hipster at 3-1.

d-train said...

wouldn't mind seeing the other though...have seen her up close a couple of times in scootland...she's got a nice bod. and let's not kid ourselves, monty's not looking too bad these days either. no homo.

Squeaky said...

Pavin and Gray have to be about the same height, 5'2". It's always the short guys that start crap.

MGMT should be a good show. Hopefully it's a smallish venue.

And of course off topic:
More instructional IKEA videos like this one would get me out of putting together all those bookshelves and other assorted crap.
http://tbz.me/nI1yp

T.J. said...

Snooki!

Tens of thousands of dead fish have washed ashore along the Delaware Bay in southern New Jersey.

d-train said...

i wonder if they've ever tried to assemble one of those without all of the dancing and tomfoolery...would probably be quicker

d-train said...

tigger - 2 holes/2 under...
must've found one of those corn fed girls up there in sheboygan...atta boy!

T.J. said...

Orioles won again last night. Showalter is now 8-1 as manager.

T.J. said...

http://www.sports-reference.com/cfb/

d-train said...

for you hardchargers that live near philly - kevin nealon playing there the next few nights. i find him to be amusing, especially on the show "Weeds"
i found this out on the new website, "Twitter"

d-train said...

The Teej - sorry for the delay in acknowledging cfb site...that will come in very handy in the coming months. 2 1/2 weeks until the Danimal shows himself

Squeaky said...

Weeds is an awesome show. Never really cared for Nealon on SNL. But he was made for his role on Weeds.

It's on our instant cue from Netflix.

Marls said...

Kevin Nealon was married to one of the mud wrestlers from Stripes and the mets still suck.

Igor said...

Great days for Mets fans (again):

Francisco Rodriguez has been released from custody, and an order of protection has been filed on behalf of his wife and father-in-law.

In addition, Rodriguez cannot see his children until they appear in family court.

The Mets have put Francisco Rodriguez on the restricted list, without pay, and promoted Ryota Igarashi from Triple-A Buffalo.

“Ownership and the organization are very disappointed in Francisco’s inappropriate behavior and we take the matter very seriously,” the team said in a statement.