Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I don't want to alarm anyone...

or in the case of this blog's audience, bore anyone...but have you seen who is currently baseball's hottest team? Hint: their hometown loves Old Bay, STDs and Dru Hill.

That's right folks, since the Baltimore Orioles hired Buck Showalter last week they are an astounding 6-1. "TJ, how is a 6-1 record astounding", you might ask. Well, when the team is 32-73 prior to that 7 game run under old management, looking like a team that can't wait for the season to end...this kinda turn around is nothing short of miraculous.

Now yes, I am the same guy who got mad at MASN last week for a Showalter graphic after just three games, yelling "sample size" to an empty living room...and I'm still right. This 6-1 start could all be a sham, and the Orioles could end the year 6-44. But I don't think so. And most importantly, it gets to the point (finally) of this post...not only do I no longer think the Orioles are the worst team in baseball, I think Buck is about to pull off the impossible and prevent the O's from losing 100 games.

First of all, the teams I think Baltimore will replace in the overall standings:
Seattle (currently 43-70): Complete C-F in the Pacific Northwest. I almost wish Milton Bradley were still alive so he could ruin Darren Brown's short stint on the Titanic.
Pittsburgh (39-72): It's not even nice to make fun of these guys. It's just fucking sad the product they have put on the field for the last 20 years. And the odd thing is, this year's team has some talented guys...they just can't avoid the suck smog that envelopes PNC Park.

And now, drumroll please, here is how Buck Showalter can salvage some Inner Harbor pride and lose only 99 games:
Baltimore is currently 38-74. They have 50 games left.
BUCK, YOU MUST SIMPLY* GO .500 TO CLOSE OUT THE YEAR. 25-25. DO IT.
That would leave the 2010 Baltimore Orioles 63-99. And that would be simply amazing.



*Don't go look at the AL East-dominated schedule that remains for the O's. It kinda kills the optimism.

20 comments:

zman said...

That's the first time anyone ever used a Baltimore Orioles tag? Wow.

zman said...

And speaking of DC-area teams, the Redskins are ranked #20 in ESPN's pre-season poll. I said to myself "Is that shit right?" and upon refelction I think it's arguably proper. It's surprising how many terrible teams pepper the 2010 NFL landscape.

T.J. said...

We ain't got time for the Boog Powells of the world around here.

Wait, Boog and Gheorghe would be great friends...Marls, set up the interview.

d-train said...

not buying the skins' ranking...not a HUGE NFL follower but let's just say i know enough to be dangerous. ya hear me? just sayin that i think they'll be at the top of the bell curve and maybe even on the good side of it by a win or two. and i'm not a skins fan - disclosure.
stevens....dead...he's had a shitty last couple of years that guy

T.J. said...

Did you just yada yada the death of a former Senator in a half-hearted "Skins will be decent" comment?

Kudos sir...you are ready for the tweet machine.

Marls said...

Boog is unavailable, butBrady Anderson is available in exchange for beefcake photos of the Zman.

Igor said...

I have known a few folks who professed themselves to be "not a huge NFL follower" through the years. All communists, gays, or both.

Comrade D-train . . . I hope. But who knows, perhaps you're getting involved with Zman's refelctions . . .




IGOR!!

d-train said...

gotta look that one up...hold on, will get back w ya

TR said...

I just refelcted the other night. Was horrible. Had to chuck my undies.

zman said...

I believe Igor meant to say "refelchings," a technique I learned from Richard Gere.

TR said...

So you're saying that refelching is what you call it when the gerbil survives for a second pass through the anal gauntlet?

zman said...

Think of is as Zipcar only with gerbils.

zman said...

And by "is" I mean "it."

Dave said...

even i, the gay comunist, am i big NFL follower!

haven't heard the felching term in years-- g:tb is bringing it back.

Greg said...

It's called "the 80's". And it's gonna be around forever.

Igor said...

The Chief Operating Officer of my (albeit small) company just made a comment in front of several colleagues, bellowing in my direction, "We know you love that 70's bush." Everyone here is a HR nightmare. It's really kind of fun.

mayhugh said...

In a former life, I held a very temporary position at a company that made everyone take sexual harassment training upon hire, but there were some that were made to take it as a "refresher". A few minutes before the class was scheduled to start, a couple of gents rolled in whom you could tell had been at the company awhile. As they took their seats, one of them bellowed "Where are the hot chicks?" Perhaps a ploy to take the training all week.

And the Redskins' chief problem from last year (O-line) doesn't seem to have changed much in terms of talent or depth. Throw in a new defensive scheme and they are a total crapshoot, but I'd say 20 is on the higher end of "good" than I'd put them.

rob said...

usmnt vs brazil tonight. get excited.

rob said...

jesus, brazil are beating us like a red-headed step mule.

Greg said...

I remember a late night diner trip where my buddy told the waitress, "I like my coffee like I like my women.....'bout 5'4" with a big bush". She didn't find it funny.