Monday, May 11, 2009

TR...Gift

"There are no adjectives vivid enough to describe the awesome pants that John Daly wore yesterday. The phrase "sunflowers on acid" is really just the tip of the iceberg."
- TR, one hour ago

I found what he was talking about - I think you can guess which pair Daly wore yesterday:

62 comments:

rob said...

insane is a really slimming color.

TR said...

The story about his strong play last weekend added the mention that he's lost 56 lbs. I look at that picture of him, his spare tire and his yellow outfit and think: "really?"

TR said...

Based on Daly's sunflower pants, somebody needs to re-tell the story of the night Sunflower played at Unit M. Hilarious, random fun night in the Spring of 1996. Set up by the second coolest Persian to grace that building's halls in the 1990's.

Zoltan/Marlin/Teej - Care to elaborate? I was hazy on the night.

zoltan said...

Was sunflower the hidden flower of the bronx?

TR said...

Sapphire was the professional entertainer hired by your fiancee's brother at your BP. When she took her top off, it looked like two billiard balls dangling from tube socks. And she said she was 37. That's 106 in Bronx stripper years. All guys at the BP became horrified immediately. Except, of course, for your fiancee's brother...

Dave said...

my dad wore that same pair of pants in 1978.

Mark said...

I've now begun to understand why so people hate the Celtics...

TJ said...

Mark, you should read Norman Chad's column today over on si.com

Marlin said...

As I recall, Sapphire, came without bodyguard (never a good sign) and without music (really bad sign). The aforementioned fiancée went off to find music (tough since we were in his 29 year old female cousin’s apt.) and after deciding not to go with Indigo Girls or Sophie B Hawkins, came back with Jock Jams Vol. ??. After watching Sapphire’s uninspired performance to Rock and Roll Part 2, most in attendance tried to quickly make their way for the exits – This was also prompted by the flatulence emanating from Sam who was passed out on the couch and feeling the effects sausages provide by Juan Carlos for lunch. Good Times.

Mark said...

Norman Chad "hates the Celtics" in a funny way. I hate them in a stabby way...

zoltan said...

So Sunflower isn't the same as Saphire? Then I don't remember Sunflower at all. Does it involve a bunch of meatheads who grew up on the Jersey shore?

Marlin said...

Sunflower was a band that the Shoom Boom somehow knew and arranged for us to have late spring 1996. Band was good despite the terrible name. Party was crowded despite the fact that it was at Unit M. And Zotan took a commanding lead in the “Brewdog Breakdown” despite being Zoltan.

TJ said...

Timberlake and Samberg did it again

Mark said...

Oh yeah, I actually watched SNL live for the first time in years, and it was pretty damn good. The skit that TJ linked to was definitely the highlight though.

TJ said...

I hate to admit it, but Timberlake's a pretty good SNL host.

rob said...

don't hate, teej. free your mind. that dude's a world-class entertainer.

rob said...

this trend towards perforating paper towels into half-sheets is a bunch of bullshit.

TJ said...

Chip, is that you?

Mark said...

No TJ, if that was Chip then the paper towel rant would've been at two paragraphs and at least 150 words.

Whitney said...

Rob, you enjoy wasting paper? Just like a squirrel to feel the need to conquer the tree. Here's a secret; if you need a full sheet, just pass by the first perforation and go for 2 sheets. 1/2 + 1/2 = 1!

TJ said...

You'll say WOW every time.

zoltan said...

I have no recollection of this Sunflower incident or its impact on my mug total.

rob said...

georghetown's a.d. just took the same job at delaware. that's...odd. mayhaps he was diddling a nun and got caught?

Marlin said...

Z - Might have been the night Purple Girl threw up in Spector's pot (cooking, not papal electing).

zoltan said...

I can't wait to see how many hits you guys get with "diddling a nun."

The Grimace incident started out at the house at the corner of Scotland and Braxton. There were no sunflowers.

rob said...

i think we need to move 'diddling a nun' to the main body of gtb for it to register on search engines, though i could be wrong. teej, see what you can do.

TJ said...

I need Swint to help me out on the Sunflower recap...let's put it this way, 1996 was several continuances into a looooong collegiate career.

Jerry said...

The comments register in google. I'm still trying to cleanse my last name from these places for years now.

TJ said...

Sorry Jerry Assfucker. It must be tough, getting googled in the ass all the time.

TJ said...

Wow, where did that come from?

But seriously, the whole dumb "ghoogles" filler post garners shit from the comments all the time.

So the nun bit will be huge...soon...somewhere...

rob said...

that got me.

Jerry said...

Do you know how many people in the world have my last name? Maybe 15. There's no cover for me.

There's probably 15,000 people in the world with your exact first, last, and middle name that drink more frequently than you.

TJ said...

Let's see if I can fix that...

rob said...

according to the interweb, jerry may be right. 'assfucker' is the 624,277th ranked last name in america, with only 10 public listings. i, on the other hand, am hidden by a cloak of anonymity. makes it easier for me to perform my superhero stylings.

rob said...

for the record, i'm the 87th ranked last name in the land, with 163,704 listings. family reunions are a motherfucker.

rob said...

mark is the top-ranked gtb staffer, with his last name coming in 78th. the rest:

dennis: 282th
teejay: 373rd
whitney: 715th
tr: 164,241st

rob said...

i may have a few minutes on my hands this afternoon.

Jerry said...

Mark is on the hot seat at Man City.

Whitney said...

My Internet came up with different data than Rob's. He may be using an older version of the World Wide Web.

Mark: 1st name #14, Surname #88
Rob: 1st name #3, Surname #97
Dennis: 1st name #20, Surname #257
Thomas: 1st name #10, Surname #419
Whitney: 1st name #1045, Surname #598
TR: 1st name #27, Surname data not available

Can someone do some math to see how likely the combos would be? Is it simply multiplying 1st times last? Seems like Rob is indeed one of thousands.

Mark said...

Jerry can do the math. He does shit like that for a living. And, he's right. I am on the hot seat at Man City.

However it turns out, I'm sure it will be better than when I died mysteriously after making millions on Herbalife. It probably won't be as cool as my time playing basketball at the University of Michigan though.

zoltan said...

Mark Cuban apparently talked trash to Kenyon Martin's mom. Cuban is smart enough to invent streaming audio, but he's a collossal moron to provoke the anger of a 6'9" 240 pound man.

rob said...

for a definitive answer, just ghoogle our respective names and see how many hits are returned. the ghoogle knows all.

rob said...

my daughter brought home a biography of mark mcgwire today because she knows daddy loves baseball. it's gonna be difficult to explain the scene where jose canseco injects him in the ass.

rob said...

okay, per the ghoogles:

mark: 104m entries
rob: 25.4m
dennis: 18.8m
teejay: 3.01m
whitney: 899k
tr: 2160

and jerry assfucker: 105, and most of those entries may be his sister.

also, the mark dopplenamenganger who manages man city is nicknamed 'sparky'. make of that what you will.

Jerry said...

I'm sure most of them are my sister. She's the most famous of our clan by far.

Sparky is a keeper. I'll be spreading that one in Jax this year.

Unfortunately, the rankings do not provide sufficient information to do the math requested.

TR said...

Bron Bron is legitimately going bald. I bet that's why he wears the headband.

TR said...

On the NBA, I really think a well-rested Nuggets squad could take a Lakers team that has to go 7 games to advance. Billups and Carmelo will get a lot of the press, but I'd look to Kenyon Martin to be a big factor. He elevated his play in a huge way in '02 and '03, which is how he got the Nuggets to overpay to get him.

Personally, I would love for Kobe to eat shit, and I would love a Nuggets-Cavs final.

Geoff said...

This Caps game is a rollercoaster. If it goes to OT its safe to turn it off and assume a soul crushing loss...right?

Geoff said...

Three goals in 90 seconds. Wow.

Geoff said...

That last two minutes in the Igloo was excrutiating.

rob said...

so, soul-crushing loss it is, then.

Geoff said...

Yeah...feels like Crosby at about the 12 minute mark.

rob said...

hey now

Geoff said...

Tits. Game 7 Wednesday.

Shlara said...

Are you guys familiar with the "texts from last night" website?

Someone in Sacramento is afraid of Rob.

(916): I hate ducks.
(916): What?
(916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

Whitney said...

Shlara, a search on squirrel also found:

(765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

Whitney said...

Oh, boy. Shlara has just turned me on . . . to something that will waste a lot of my time. A few samples:

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession

(208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

(518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle

(714): i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
(619): ahah at least you got away with it
(714): nope...my gran was the one who informed me

(281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

(843): Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

(440): D3 body, D1 cock

(313): I painted my nails silver
(586): And what are the implications of that?
(313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

(502): Dude, just got a bummer.
(1-502): What??
(502): A blow job from a homeless chick.

(602): how was that guy you hooked up with?
(415): i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

(804): Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
(1-804): wow, that really makes you stop and think.

(402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

(312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

(310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
(323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
(310): oh, so thats why my junks red.
(323): wow. cant help you there...

Shlara said...

whit--its one of my new favorite locations on the interwebs. hours of fun for everyone.

rob said...

that stuff is dangerously awl.

TJ said...

(831): Hey, what are you up to?
(802): Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
(802): Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.

mayhugh said...

(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

Yep, that one's going in the old mental Rolodex.

zoltan said...

Good stuff.

(914): Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?