Thursday, May 21, 2009

Know Your Minor League Mascot

I was originally going to profile the Lake Elsinore Storm this afternoon, because I've been to their ballyard in SoCal and they have a terrific (if slightly creepy) logo. But their website is a freaking travesty of sound-effect overkill with so much fooferaw that it crashed my browser three times. As payback, the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes get their turn in the bright lights of G:TB fame.

Team: Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
League: California (A)
Affiliation: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Mascot: Tremblor

Self-Absorbed East Coast Elitist Commentary: Cucamonga. Cucamonga. Cucamonga. I could say that for minutes on end. Cucamonga. Californians are silly. And fiscally irresponsible.

Gheorgheness Quotient: 65/77. The name is geographically perfect, and even a bit self-deprecating. The Quakes play in a ballpark called The Epicenter. We took off points because their mascot appears to be an alligator/crocodile-type creature, and to the best of my considerable knowledge, such things don't exist in the Western U.S. (We'll add 5 points to the score if it can be proven that it's actually a dinosaur. But we'll take them back off again because it appears to also have the measles.) Also, fuck the Lake Elsinore Storm.

15 comments:

TJ said...

Their website currently is promo-ing James T. Kirk

I find no fault in that.

rob said...

the storm website? i wouldn't know. it keeps screaming at me and crashing. also, the former colleague i went with to their park is a colossal douchebag and among the worst people on the planet, so again, fuck the storm.

TJ said...

Listen pal, I simply clicked on the link you embedded. It doesn't crash for me. And the site in question is highlighting the man who made "RocketMan" as famous as it is. So stop your whining.

TJ said...

Beer Jerry, help me on this one, but isn't "Elsinore" the name of the brewery in Strange Brew?

rob said...

oh, it definitely is.

Mark said...

I have to disagree on the terrificity (nice made word, huh?)of the Storm's logo. They just stole the logo from all those cheesy No Fear shirts that douchebags like to wear. Not so cool.

Also, Rancho Cucamongo offered me a job out of grad school. Unfortunately, I would've had to live in a box based what I was offered when combined with the cost of living in the valley.

rob said...

huh. mark's right. that logo is yet another reason to tell the storm to fuck off.

and, in a complete non-sequitur, larry king is claiming that jessica hahn came on to him. i know you'll all join me in saying, 'ewwwww'.

zoltan said...

Parenthood sounds like fun.

http://tinyurl.com/o8snt8

Shlara said...

I'm not a policy expert or a financial analyst, but this can't be good news for college sports

http://www.cbo.gov/ftpdocs/100xx/doc10055/05-19-CollegiateSports_Summary.pdf

Mark said...

Hey now...who else is excited about Game 2 tonight? Hello? Anyone?

Right, I forgot. The NBA sucks and nobody plays hard. My bad.

KQ said...

anyone watching the same sex ballroom dancing on 'so you think you can dance'? i'm thinking it would be great halftime entertainment for the GTB summit.

TR said...

Los Yanquis de Nueva York: En Fuego!

Mark said...

As Rob said on Tuesday, Chauncey Billups knows what the hell he's doing. And it seems Denver does too.

TR said...

75 HRs hit in 18 games at the new Yankee Stadium. 39 by Yanks, 36 by opponents. Welcome to Coors Field East.

TJ said...

This Lakers/Nuggets series sure has been boring, eh?