Tuesday, May 19, 2009

If it's on motherfucker...

I'm not sure what has happened here lately, but it hasn't been good. There's been less content than normal (I know, I didn't think it was possible either) and there's just been a generally uninspired feel to the proceedings. In fact, G:TB is running the risk of turning into a half-assed, no account organization. The Clippers of the blogosphere, if you will.

Sadly, there is no Blake Griffin looming on the horizon to come and shake us from our doldrums (As an aside...man, could Griffin have gotten a rawer deal tonight? I'm sure Zach Randolph will be a welcoming and supportive mentor for young Mr. Griffin. This is pretty much the exact opposite of what happened to Derrick Rose this time last year). No, all we have is the beginning of the NBA Conference Finals. Conference Finals that I, for one, am extremely psyched about. I love basketball, the matchups are intriguing, the two best players on earth are involved, my favorite NBA team is also involved and, to top it all off, I just bought myself a new 50" HDTV last weekend. Don't ever let anybody tell you that buying an enormous HDTV is a waste of money. It's only been a week and I already love that TV more than at least one of my sisters (to be fair, they did go to FSU).

So, anyway, here's a little something new to celebrate the kickoff to the NBA's Final Four. If you aren't watching these games, chances are you don't like basketball...and there's an even better chance that I don't like you. So, um, yeah. Let's have some fucking fun already.

57 comments:

rob said...

well if it's on, then it's on. nice kickoff. not a bad beginning for denver, either.

Mark said...

No shit. I don't love Denver's chances in this series as much as it seems most do, but I want to because I hate Kobe and the general makeup of this Laker team.

Kenny Smith said it best, they're arrogant. The problem, of course, being that they haven't won a fucking thing.

rob said...

sox and blue jays just played a game in 2:13. even mark would like baseball if they could do that more often.

rob said...

chauncey billups knows what the hell he's doing.

Mark said...

You know what the most underrated matchup in this series is? Sasha Vujacic-JR Smith. Vujacic is an agitator and an asshole and Smith is a gunner who's completely crazy. I predict a minimum of 5 technicals between the two of them.

Geoff said...

If you get the Tennis channel, switch over to the 1984 Navrtilova-Evert match from Roland Garros. Martina is wearing Brick Tamland's glasses from Anchorman.

rob said...

there's a tennis channel?

Geoff said...

I find Nene's game mildly arousing.

Geoff said...

Fios standard package gives you the tennis channel, Yes network, MLB network, NHL network and about 20 other sports channels I didn't know existed. I'm moist over here.

Geoff said...

Kleiza wears 43. Let's name other famous 43s. I'll start. Brad Daugherty.

rob said...

richard petty, for whom daugherty wore his 43.

Geoff said...

Yep...and...no one else. Former UVA RB/FB Terry Kirby wore 43...but that's all I've got.

Mark said...

Fios sounds great. I pay an extra $4.95 for most of those channels and a few others and consider it a bargain.

Mark said...

I know its early to care about mock drafts but I can't help myself. Chad Ford has the Thunder getting Rubio at 3. If that were to happen, oh man...and those two were to stay together...and each become at least near what they're expected to be as NBA players. Wow...just wow.

Mark said...

And Geoff, Ford has James Harden going to the Wiz. Which isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world.

Geoff said...

Yeah I thought about Hardin. The only reason I discounted it is because I couldn't see a way to put together a line up that found distinct roles for Butler, Nick Young, Arenas and Hardin. Seems like a lot of redundant skills there...and a lot of similar weaknesses.

Mark said...

Yeah, I'd agree with that. And I'd forgotten a bit about Nick Young. Did he have a decent year, all things considered?

Geoff said...

He shows flashes but never demonstrated that he could be a reliable starter at 2 or 3. He had a handful of 20+ nights but those were mainly late in the season when minutes were available to all warm bodies. Upside is the athleticism and able to create his own shot. Downside is turnovers, perimeter jumper and passing. He may not pan out.

Geoff said...

Also fun: Jamison is due to make about $16 million next year...or something like that.

Mark said...

Kobe's already got himself two dunks in the halfcourt in this game. That's not a very good sign for Denver. If he can get to the rim consistently and shoot his jumper. You're in trouble long term.

Mark said...

Doesn't sound like Young has developed much. Too bad. He came off like a decent kid in the documentary about him.

Geoff said...

He's a good kid. He's been good times on tv and the blogs. And maybe he makes the leap next year...but I'm just not seeing it right now.

Shlara said...

These muppet commercials are funny.

Mark said...

Carmelo is out of his damn mind right now, but in a strangely controlled way.

Mark said...

Carmelo had 16 in the 1st quarter. Kobe had 18 in the 4th. That's the difference between the two of them and probably between of the two teams.

Whitney said...

Geoff, I believe on Fios you also get the Pentagon Channel. Which means that if you tune in (or Tivo it) around 2-3pm this Monday you'll get to see me as Abraham Lincoln in the National Memorial Day Parade. Just what you wanted!

Though I'm a bit put off this year . . . the committee did not splurge for my costume rental this year (damn economy), leaving me to buy one on my own. And it's not as good, a little cheesy and less authentic. Good thing the Federal Government doesn't have the technology for the Pentagon Channel to be in HD.

Pentagon Channel also available on some Cox & Time Warner cable systems as well as DISH.

Dennis said...

Just placed my Fios order 10 minutes ago based on Geoff's saturation levels. I too am both hot AND bothered by the prospects of a Tennis Channel. Nothing like handing money over to a major competitor during a recession....to balance the scales: the Palm Pre launches on June 6th - exclusively on the Now Network.

zoltan said...

What goes into an Abe Lincoln costume besides a black suit, stovepipe hat, moustacheless beard, and a press-on mole? Besides a goofy lanky dude?

TJ said...

Don't forget the huge bloody hole in the back of the head.

Whitney said...

Zoltan, you've nailed why they tapped me for such duty (the goofy lanky bit).

You need a black suit with tails (although I am in a carriage, so that matters less), a vest and ribbon tie, and the stovepipe hat. It mainly comes down to the stovepipe hat, and the one I paid for is significantly chintzier than the nice, authentic one they rented for me in years past. It looks like a frickin' black Dr. Seuss hat. Bait and switch.

zoltan said...

I live around the corner from this place: http://www.dorothysboutique.biz/. They have insane costumery. In the future get your Abe Lincoln gear there.

Shlara said...

Whit, if I knew you were a part-time Lincoln, I would have used you in the Ford's Theatre re-opening festivities!

rob said...

when it re-re-opens in a few years, you know where to go.

Whitney said...

Shlara, I'm really only a good Lincoln from 50 feet or so in a parade. I'm fatter, have a less Skeletor-like visage, and I'm younger (for now). I smile too much, I don't have the mole, and when I speak I slur from the fire-water. Up close seeing people at the theater might be a little disappointing.

Chris Chandler, however, I can be at any distance.

Marlin said...

Stay classy Met fans. . .

http://tinyurl.com/Mets-Toilet

TR said...

I am drunk at an outplacement center in midtown. I had two giant Hoegaardens and a few Coronas at Bryant Park today. Having sunglasses on hand to subtly ogle is an amazing advantage.

Sadly, my days of day-drinking are grinding to a halt. New job starts next Tuesday. Bummer.

TR said...

So in case you didn't get it from my last post, walking into a room of uptight unemployed folks is much easier when you're the only one who has consumed 6-7 beers in the last couple hours. I come across as a weird, unemployed drunk, but only because they don't know I already have a job.

Weird dynamic.

TR said...

Final drinking comment - I spent $58.50 on beer for myself at Yankee Stadium and got myself good and drunk. That's par for the course at a sports venue these days. Four 20 oz. cups were $10 each. A 20 oz. Beck's cup was $11 and a 16 oz. Bud was $7.50. Not cheap, but it got me drunk enough to high five strangers repeatedly. And that's really what live sports is about - Beer, pork products and high-fiving strangers.

rob said...

so, um, why were you at the outplacement center if you already have a job?

zoltan said...

I would like to take credit for TR's love of drinking at live sporting events. At our 3rd or 4th Yankee game, TR said to me "You don't even wait to get to your seat, do you? Your first order of business when you get to the ballpark is two beers." I then explained my theory that the tastiest beers on earth are Coors Light tallboys served in a waxed paper cup on a warm summer night in the Bronx. TR obviously took this to heart. Now he shows up drunk at the unemployment office.

Mark said...

To drunkenly gloat Rob. I thought that was obvious?

And um TR, now that you don't have to worry about a job, how about you do some work for G:TB?

Whitney said...

"the tastiest beers on earth are Coors Light--"

I think that was a quote from one of the "Girls of the SEC" in Playboy.

zoltan said...

Nicely done. Herm Edwards is just atrocious on NFL Live. He's worse at forming a coherent thought than I am.

Mark said...

The Cavs came out on fire (predictably) but it seems like the Magic have withstood the initial charge.

Two interesting developments:

- LeBron is guarding Rafer Alston. I assume to allow Lebron to roam defensively as well as slow Orlando's break.

- Ilgauskas can't guard Howard when He faces up in the post. I'd expect to see a steady dose of Anderson Varejao on Howard in this series in crunch time.

Mark said...

Well then...so much for withstanding the initial run.

Mark said...

Also, we are going to see an ungodly amount of spectacular blocks in this series.

TR said...

I had to kill time and charge my iPhone this afternoon at the outplacement center. I had a partner in crime for a liquid lunch and for happy hour, but nothing from 3 to 6.

TR said...

Mark must think Howard is Jesus because he calls him "He," instead of "he."

rob said...

papi went yard. our long national nightmare is over.

Jerry said...

Sparky, you might as well just hang with the pope and enjoy the moment, because your boys don't have a chance. At least Dwight looks better on O.

Mark said...

I'm well aware that they don't have a chance. They wouldn't have a chance with Jameer and the difference between he and Alston is staggering. I'm just interested in seeing some fight and resilience over the long haul and maybe steal a wins.

This team, as presently constructed, I'm including Nelson, can't win an NBA title but there are some guys who could/should be on a team that one day wins an NBA title. The earlier they can get their reps in these kinds of situations, the better.

Shlara said...

I like the Heineken Biz Markie commercial. Biz was a guest DJ at a few Wiz games this past year. Sadly, this was one of the season's highlights...

Mark said...

This has turned into one hell of basketball contest.

TJ said...

That was so close.

Mark said...

Sweet.

Mark said...

Yes, Rob. Very close. I was pretty sure it was going in.

TJ said...

Rob?

That hurts.