Thursday, May 07, 2009

Hey, Assholes

I was right.


38 comments:

zoltan said...

Indeed.

http://tinyurl.com/ccpb4v

zoltan said...

Sorry. Didn't see your comment on the previous post.

TJ said...

Oh my.

jerome said...

again.

mayhugh said...

So, does Manny get to appeal this before his suspension begins? If so, what are his chances?

rob said...

manny waived his right to appeal. suspension in effect now.

and kq's brother just broke the story on the drug in question: hcg. i don't know what it is, either.

TJ said...

"It's apparently a women's fertility drug, typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production."

Marlin said...

It is supposedly used to fight "testicular atrophy" after taking steroids.

Manny's got little balls.

Whitney said...

Does Mark McGwire see his HoF vote count significantly rise this year?

Whitney said...

Peter Gammons is refusing to believe that it was steroids or PED-related. He is taking the stance that it was an honest mistake, equating it to the guy who got banned from the olympic for taking allergy medicine. He kept calling it "a personal issue." If you are taking medicine to re-grow your shrinking newts, yep, it's a personal issue, but yep, you took steroids.

Jerry said...

By the time a man reaches Manny's age, he's usually come to grips with his natural ball size.

Geoff said...

Gammons also thinks TJ and Mark are both fighting off cataracts.

TJ said...

How's Omaha, Geoffrey?

Geoff said...

Exciting...very exciting. I'm giving a speech to about 100 contractors in about 15 minutes...I'll work on getting it streaming live.

Geoff said...

Also, I've spotted two non-white people since I've been here.

Marlin said...

Geoff,
Do you consider Hispanics and Jewish people non-white?

TR said...

Were they Turner Gill and a cracked-out Mike Rozier?

TR said...

So David Ortiz has got to be feeling a little hotter under the collar today, right Rob?

Geoff said...

Hispanics yes, Jews no.

Whitney said...

I give SportsGuy a lot of guff these days, and he approaches maudlin in this article about how to feel about 2004, but it's pretty compelling and a bit of a bummer for citizens of the Nation.

KQ said...

Peter Gammons is an idiot.

That being said, big bro TJ will be on SportsCenter at 6. I'll have it on all 20 tv's at the Gold's Gym in Sterling if you want to watch it here. I'm sure he'll answer all your questions, and hopefully he won't be talking about testicles.

And speaking of testicles...a member at the gym was telling me the other day he was heading to Las Toltecas for cinco de mayo. He then explained to me, "Las Toltecas is hard to say, so I just call it Las Testicles - it rolls off the tongue a lot better."

rob said...

i agree with simmons' dad. it doesn't tarnish it for me in the least, because we all knew the truth deep down in places we don't like to talk about on blogs.

now, when papi comes out (and this is the first time i've really questioned papi). well, that's a whole new thing altogether.

Whitney said...

KQ's brother says while the HCG isn't quite a smoking gun, those in the dopers' circle would roll their eyes heartily if you told them a healthy guy was taking HCG for non-PED-related reasons.

Meanwhile Peter Gammons keeps the blinders on like Mine That Bird.

zoltan said...

Simmons is a putz. The article is titled "Confronting my worst nightmare." His worst nightmare is learning that Manny Ramirez did steroids? Or explaining to his son how/why Manny "cheated"? He needs some perspective. His worst nightmare should be explaining to one of his kids that they have a serious life-threatening illness, or finding his wife dead in a ditch. I'm tired of over-the-top all-consuming fandom. It's fucking stupid.

rob said...

the clown from 'maximum overdrive' is my worst nightmare. that, and watching sportscenter in a gold's gym near a guy with testicles in his mouth.

Whitney said...

The twins from The Shining. And working out at Gold's Gym, or anywhere else.

Whitney said...

And Zoltan, if you think Bill Simmons gets paid to talk about his true "worst nightmare," you've been eating those retarded sandwiches again. He gets paid to wax melodramatic about the Red Sox, and to a lesser degree, other things in the realm of sports. That's it. As it is, he injects the maximum level of personal info into his columns allowable. That I know he has a friend named JackO says it all.

rob said...

hey, whit. why don't we get paid to wax melodramatic about the red sox (and mets)? teejay's not gonna like what gets said in his mlc performance review.

Mark said...

So...I guess we might as well got it out of the way and suspend Albert Pujols now too, huh?

Geoff -- I don't have cataracts but I do have constant nausea issues that I'm working tirelessly to combat. You should really be more sensitive to the medical needs of TJ and I.

Mark said...

This is a minor issue in the whole Manny/steroids fiasco but I haven't heard it mentioned, so I thought I'd bring it up. The timing on this could not have been worse from a marketing/promotions stand point.

First, the team is red hot and LA is embracing them and their success. Second, the Dodgers put together a whole "Mannywood" ticket campaign that has its own section and free giveaways. On top of that, they have introduced some higher end (in price only) Manny merchandise in the gift shops to go along with the campaign. That, I'm guessing, is all shot to shit now.

Fun day to work for the Dodgers, I'm sure.

rob said...

selena roberts ain't thrilled, either.

TJ said...

Whitlock blames her for this Manny mess too.

Greg said...

No really.

http://tinyurl.com/cuh92t

rob said...

orestes destrade just said 'to be precise, doctor-wise, it's to restimulate things, testicle-wise'.

Mark said...

That's beautiful, Greg.

rob said...

thanks to greg for finding my birthday present. coming up in a few weeks. size medium.

Mark said...

girls medium, greg.

zoltan said...

Despite eating retarded sandwiches daily, I'm tired of sports writers and reporters pretending that sports stories are incredibly important issues. They aren't. Sports are supposed to be fun. Entertaining. A distraction from the daily grind. See, e.g., Gheorghe Muresan.