The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.
Seattle at NY Giants (-7.5) No Plaxi, no laundry. Seattle’s D keeps them in this one, forcing the Giants to run the ball for small chunks of yards. While I don’t expect the ‘Hawks to win, this will be a game of ball control and field goals (and probably a couple turnovers per side). Giants 16, Seahawks 13.
Indianapolis at Houston (+3.5) This line offends me. I can only assume Peyton Manning will take exception as well. The Colts have had 2 weeks to rest and iron out the early season wrinkles. Our boy Steve Slaton will probably have over 150 multipurpose yards, but the Texans’ dormant passing attack will rear its ugly head once again. And they’ll need to air it out if they hope to stay with the baby horses. No chance. Colts win 31-13.
Chicago @ Detroit (+3) Martin Mull, Martin Lawrence, Martin(a) Navratilova, Ricky Martin, Martin Gramatica, Billy Martin, Martin McFly, Steve Martin, Mark Martin, Martin Scorcese, Martin Brodeur, and Martin Van Buren all have the same chance of guiding the Lions to success this season as new GM Martin Mayhew. Except Gramatica. He's awful. Bears cover big.
Atlanta at Green Bay (-7) I like Green Bay to cover at home against Atlanta. Matt Ryan has yet to impress me, while Rodgers and his sneaky enormous nose have shown something. Too many folks are quick to dismiss the Pack's chances with a banged-up Rodgers or a green Matt Flynn at the helm. Look for the Pack to remind folks that the Falcons suck. (Note - Rhymo is far too busy rescuing the American economy from sure catastrophe, or at least from a severe reduction in bonuses to Wall Street execs, to give us his normal biting humor. Funny stuff to resume next week, pending restoration of America's financial might.)
Sorry I'm late but trying to get TJ and Rob to effectively communicate is like trying to get Nick Saban to stop spreading baby blood on his English muffins in the morning...a lost cause. Anyway...
Cincinnati (+17) @ Dallas You know how you can tell this is one of those really strange NFL seasons? J.T. O'Sullivan isn't the league's least likely multi-week starting QB less than halfway through the season. No, that honor goes to Harvard's own Ryan Fitzpatrick. Sure, Carson Palmer's listed as questionable but the only thing questionable about Palmer this week is whether or not he's going to even bother wearing a headset to hear the offensive calls while on the sideline this Sunday. Why in God's name isn't he doing everything short of fucking Marvin Lewis' St. Bernard in order to get traded away from this moribund franchise? I understand that he's the franchise player and all, but I bet he could manage to convince the Bengals to trade him if he cut a hole in the top of Levi Jones' car and pissed all over the interior. Is that completely wrong and over the top? Yes. Would it be worth it to get the hell out of the seventh level of football hell he currently resides in? Fuck and yes.
I mean, he does realize he's wasting the prime of his career playing in a shitty town on a team full of miscreants and uninspired jackasses whilst being coached by the most overrated coordinator this side of Dave Wannstedt, right? Honestly, has any coordinator turned one great season into a more lucrative career than Lewis? Are we really so sure that Wade Phillips or Dick LeBeau couldn't have done just as good (or better) of a job with that absolutely loaded Ravens defense? Nothing I've seen in the past 7 years has me convinced. What I'm saying here is, despite the completely ludicrous line, take the damn Cowboys.
Many of you remember October 3, 1951 as the day of Bobby Thomson's famous home run. Not us here at G:TB. We remember it as the birth date of a true American hero. A man drafted by four teams in three professional sports. A man who killed Rawlings baseballs with his bat, killed Canadian birds with his rocket arm, and tried to kill American fans by hurling his bat at fans sitting along the third base line.
Happy birthday to David Mark Winfield, the pride of Minnesota. We salute you by posting a picture of your 1974 Topps rookie card.
As the G:TB motto goes, self-seriousness is one of our favorite tilting windmills. But we’re not so deluded as to claim that we’re above a little lack of perspective ourselves. Nowhere is that more apparent than our oft-encompassing love of our favorite sports teams. For me, balance and rationality head for the exits where the Red Sox are concerned. Mark huddles into a little ball and sings nursery rhymes when Tim Tebow takes the field. Teejay and Rhymo put on fireman’s helmets and scream J-E-T-S in unison. Dennis thinks Joe Paterno is a saint. And Whitney, well, Whitney’s a Mets fan. We just generally leave him alone in the corner, muttering to himself.
No group of people in our society outside of the navel-gazing lunatics in Congress fails the self-seriousness test more often than sports fans. In the great tradition of Dr. Frankenstein, or at least of Gene Wilder’s characterization, G:TB’s crack team of scientists spent almost 15 minutes in the laboratory (luh-borr-a-torry) to sew together the most egregiously annoying and grating characteristics of Fannicus Americanus (we left the racist hooliganism of the European soccer fan for a future experiment). Behold, FrankenFan.
We started with a little bit of Red Sox Fan's Bandwagon Douchebaggery. Sister site Misery Loves Company weighed in on this earlier in the year, and the situation hasn’t improved. It’s a painfully acknowledged truth that the growth of Red Sox Nation over the past 5 years has been measured in both numbers and arrogant doucheyness. I’m not saying I condone the increasing hatred of Sox fans, but in the words of the great Chris Rock, I understand.
Eagle Fan's Contemptible Sportsmanship adds a necessary element of just plain ugliness to the mix. Start with an entire population’s inferiority complex, add nearly 30 years of major championship drought, stir in a toxic blend of South Jersey-style machismo, and top with the most inflammatory and reactionary local sports media in America, et voila – loudmouth boorishness nonpareil.
No self-respecting undead sportszombie would be complete without Yankee Fan's Insufferable Sense of Entitlement. Our monster will rise from the table uttering “I can’t believe how bad we got screwed by injuries this year. Oh, and Jetuh’s the best friggin’ shortstop in the history of the game”.
Cowboy Fan’s Susceptibility to Manipulation is particularly critical. Generations of insecure kids have been swayed by the big shiny star and the national media infatuation with ‘America’s Team’, selling their fathers and regional loyalty down the river for a few shiny baubles. FrankenFan’s gotta have a little of that lack of spine and front-running mentality.
Since we need to dress our creation, Raider Fan's Twisted Furry Fetish will come in handy. We’ll load him up with game-worn Black Hole Halloween costumes so he won’t be so conspicuous in the midst of a gaggle of loathsome losers.
National Fan's Narcissistic Head-Swivel is a useful physical characteristic. The monster’s gonna need to network, so he’ll master the D.C. cocktail party/ballgame staple move – I’m pretending to care about what you say while really looking past you to find the more important people in the room/stands.
Dodger Fan’s Broken Watch is the final piece of clothing we’ll strap on our buddy before we send him out into the world. We can’t have him showing up to Chavez Ravine (gasp!) on time for a game.
Brave Fan’s Negligent Indifference and Lack of Originality is probably the most important quality with which we’ll imbue FrankenFan. The ability to be both ignorant and spoiled is uniquely the province of Atlanta baseball “fans” – combine it with a borderline racist rallying cry that was stolen from Florida State and you’ve got a must-have creature feature.
Finally, and importantly, because our little guy is headed out into an uncaring world representing us, FrankenFan will have G:TB’s Coastal Elitism. Nearly all the attributes above come from fans securely out of flyover country. Midwesterners are so cute and non-threatening that we can’t bring ourselves to insult them. Although that may change when we build Bride of FrankenFan, College Edition.
...before rob unleashes a monster post (really, truly, it is a monster). Everyone and their mother has been posting what the kids today call "music videos" here on G:TB, so I thought I'd get in the mix this morning. It's a little foreshadowing for my exciting evening ahead, a dreamy night up at 7th and F(un) Street hanging tough with Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jordan and Jonathan:
If there's one thing I learned at the G:TB Center For Guys Who Can't Write Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, it's that intros are vastly overrated. Therefore, here are the last handful of searches that led people to this phenomenal site:
huggy lowdown The man is funny. And he says "bama" all the time.
a man through the desert on a horse Hmmmm, I think I know what you're going for there, but try a little harder next time. You're gonna make Gerry Beckley cry.
weird things to see in florida Mark, that reminds me, we need another one of those "Florida is a god awful state and dumb shit happens here all the time" posts.
is dan akroyd the voice of gary gnu? I gotta tell you, I have no idea what this person is talking about. Who the hell is Gary Gnu?
maura sullivan christmas eve in washington This better have been someone looking for her home address, so they could smack her around for ever penning this awful, awful song.
remember sully when i promised to kill you last My favorite Arnold movie of all time. Seriously, I think I like it better than Terminator.
click clack spurrier I expect a check from Under Armour any day now.
who's the black sex machine? Stu Scott? Bernard Shaw?
He does, however, have time to star in a new TruTv show (seriously, Court TV was a much better name...why the TruTV? Stupid cable tv station). That's right, Jesse the Body has been given the greenlight to travel the country and explore "modern-day conspiracies", whatever the hell that means. Does the fact that "Two and a Half Men" consistently ranks in the Top 10 in viewers each week fit the bill?
Jesse Ventura, TV detective: He'll start filming a series in October
Jesse Ventura may or may not have a "judge" show in his future, but one thing's for sure: He's definitely going to be searching for justice.
The former governor will host a new program for TruTV (formerly Court TV) in which he'll travel the country, exploring modern-day conspiracies and getting input from believers and skeptics.
"I've been a mayor; I've been a governor. Now I get to be a detective and seek the truth," Ventura said in a press statement.
The series starts filming in October and is being produced by A. Smith & Co., which is also responsible for "Hell's Kitchen" and "Trading Spaces." A premiere date has not been announced.
Ventura also is reportedly in talks to do a syndicated "Judge Judy"-type program that may premiere next season.
When reached by G:TB for comment, Ventura simply had this to say (which, honestly, seemed a tad out of context, but I rolled with it):
When most people think of Yao Ming, I doubt that they'd consider him a wild and crazy guy, to borrow a popular phrase from Whitney's childhood. Its just not something that meshes well with the picture of a large Chinese man who wears a crew cut and speaks little to no English publicly. However, if you've been paying attention there have been numerous clues to the contrary for a while now. First there was the "Yao, Yo" commercial for Visa. Then, of course, he was tight with Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley (not so much Francis, but Cuttino seems like a fun guy to go to the strip club with) in Houston. And last summer, when Yao got married guys like Baron Davis and Steve Nash traveled to China for his wedding. Hell, the guy even grew a neck beard once so he probably lost a bet to Kyle Orton somewhere along the way.
What I'm saying here is that Yao is a legitimately cool guy, and a worthy heir to the legacy of Gheorghe. I mean not only could he destroy Rob's crush, Dustin Pedroia, in ping pong, he'd probably smash TJ in a drinking contest too.
Fine. You don't like the gay. I get it. Methinks thou dost protest too much, hmmm?
I see Mark's Outkast, and raise him my favorite non-Beastie Boys rap tune. Brings back memories of coming up hard on the mean streets of Lake Ridge, VA.
The Brothers Mottram did an excellent job of tracking the Washington Nationals on their way to an epic 100 loss 2008 season, and though we here at G:TB have shied away from the Nats this year, I felt today was the appropriate time to also kick this hapless franchise while it's down. Some number's for Jim "Matt Millen" Bowden to chew on while the Feds hopefully prepare to kick his door down and save the Lerners from themselves:
Your 2008 Washington Nationals Final Record: 59-102 OK, let's start here...in a season where another MLB team also managed to cross the 100 loss finish line (the Mariners, 61-101), the Nationals still had to be top of the trash heap. They weren't gonna let those java junkies from Seattle beat them, no sirree. The Nats showed the Ms how it's done - they lost 4 straight and 9 of 10 to end the season and finish with that stellar 102 loss mark.
Maybe it would help if we further broke down the numbers. There's no way the Nats could be dead last in every team statistical category, right? Um, well, for right now yes. The Nats went 34-46 at home. Again, one game worst than Seattle. On the road, cover your eyes, the Nattys went an unbelieveably awful 25-56. 25-56? Sweet jesus.
Wait...wait...we've got something here... The Washington Nationals, though dead last in run differential at -184, were not last in either runs scored or runs allowed. The Fighting Actas (641 runs) outscored San Francisco by 1 run on the year, and San Diego by 4 (how terrible is that NL West?). And lookee here, four teams allowed more runs than Washington's 825: Detroit, Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Texas (an astonishing but not at all surprising 967 runs were given up by the Rangers staff this year).
Let's finish on a high note (something Mark and I like to do quite a bit). There must be a guy or two we can highlight for the Nats, a reason for hope for 2009...right? Hmmm, Lastings Milledge led the team in home runs (14) and RBI (61)...he also lead the team in goofy hand shake celebratons. Cristian Guzman, who I personally think is butt trifling, hit .316. Yeehaw, now we're getting somewhere. Nick Johnson managed to play in 38 games this year, which is an awesome number of games for Captain Brittle. At several points in the season, the best player on the Nats was Willie Harris. You know what, I think that says all you need to know about this club. Thank god my tickets were of the free work variety to see this traveshamockery of a team.
I mean, come on, what Andruw Jones "did" this year for the Dodgers is much more criminal. Hell, I bet Mr. Higgins here could hit .158 in 209 ABs. He might even strike out less than the 76 whiffs Jones had in those limited ABs.
Man accused of posing as Dodger on field
LOS ANGELES (AP) - A man faces criminal charges for allegedly stealing a uniform from Dodger Stadium and posing as one of the team's players.
Ronald Higgins pleaded not guilty to several charges Friday, including burglary and trespassing.
The 47-year-old Higgins was arrested Wednesday morning after a security guard found him walking on the field in a Dodgers uniform and holding a glove with two balls. Higgins allegedly identified himself as a Dodgers player, but the guard recognized him from an earlier incident and called police.
Prosecutors say Higgins' clothes were later found in the bat boys' locker room. It was not immediately clear where he got the uniform.
We were winless last week. Therefore I am not allowed to write any more than what you just read:
San Francisco @ New Orleans (-6) You buying the 2-1 49ers? Yeah, neither am I. Wins over Seattle and Detroit are about as impressive as Sarah Palin’s resume. New Orleans’ defense is less intimidating than Barney Frank in a tutu, but the Saints’ scoring side more than makes up for it. Despite the fact that Sean Payton’s visor makes him look for all the world like Jamie Kennedy in Malibu’s Most Wanted, the fact is the dude can coach up some offense. Mike Nolan looks suspiciously like John Boehner, right down to the store-bought tan, and us average betting fools simply can’t trust a guy that looks like that. SAINTS and the points, because Lord help me, if I go 0-3 I’m putting a steady diet of Frankie Goes to Hollywood on repeat here at G:TB.
Here’s some genyoowine Big Easy listening to get you in the mood. (rob, before you have a hissy fit, embedding has been disabled on this video, so all you get is a link)
As a bonus five-star lock in honor of our friends at the Wheelhouse, bet your bailout windfall on Alabama over Georgia Saturday night. Yes, that pick looks like a whole mess of homerrific wishful thinking on the face of it (again with the bailout talk, sheesh), but Alabama’s interior linemen are better than Georgia’s on both sides of the ball. And you can take that to the bank.
Arizona Cardinals (+1.5) at New York Jets There’s an article in today’s NY Times that shows a very human and flattering side of Cardinals’ QB Kurt Warner. His kids are well-behaved, conscientious and religious, and the family preaches good manners and regularly pays for dinners for strangers in restaurants. And his wife no longer has a flat-top. It paints the portrait of a guy who’s very comfortable with where he’s at and what he’s done.
That said, this ain’t a church meeting. It’s the NFL. That stands for Not Favre Long, which is how long Brett will struggle in 2008. Arizona is going to be in for a rude awakening on Sunday. Look for the Jets to finally get some pressure on Arizona, who’ve given up 2-3 sacks per game. The sun will clear in the swamps of Jersey, Warner will fumble a couple times, Sean Ellis and Calvin Pace will make some plays and Thomas Jones will have a good day. Also, there will be two official friends of G:TB at the game to root root root for the home team. They share a first name, a passion for the Jets, loud voices and a love of processed meats. Take the Jets to cover.
Minnesota at Tennessee (-2.5) When people talk about Minnesota, they mention a dominant defense and a lack of quality QB play. Well, this Sunday won’t be any different. Their defense will stop the run and their QB will suck hind teet. The difference is their opponent has an equally stifling defense (allowing less than 10 pts a game, and holding standouts such as Andre Johnson and TJ Hoosierdaddy to less than 30 yards apiece), but has a QB that was NEVER a 1000 to 1 favorite against a padded wall and ended up a loser (Hello Gustopher). There is a zero percent chance Frerotte strolls into Tennessee and comes out a winner. Titans win 16-10. And yes, take the under if you are so inclined.
Philadelphia (+3) at Chicago Here’s something you may not know – the Bears have the 5th WORST pass defense in the league right now. The last thing they need is a team that throws the ball 40 times a game. Combine that with a banged up Westbrook, and it sounds like McNabb better get the icy hot shoulder wrap ready. The Philly D also appeared to learn a few things from the Dallas debacle (or maybe Dallas is just that good, don’t know) about getting to the quarterback – as evident by the 9-sack tar-and-feathering of Big Ben last weekend. We don’t see Kyle Orton finding any answers either...Philly wins 24-13 as the NFC East continues its domination.
San Diego (-7) @ Oakland Have you ever sat down and watched JaMarcus Russell try and run the Raiders' offense? Its like watching Greg try and stop one of his impromptu drunken nosebleeds. There's no real direction, things get messy really quickly and eventually you just wanna throw up. The man is an absolute mess under center. He doesn't read defenses well (never has), displays little to no touch on his short and intermediate throws and is as inaccurate a passer as you'll see at this level. Honestly, the biggest upset in Oakland isn't that Lane Kiffin still has a job, but that the Dolphins were the first team to heavily employ the Wildcat package in their offense. (Which brings up something I've been thinking about...Is JaMarcus Russell the Bizarro Chad Pennington? Think about it, one has all the intangibles you want in a QB with little to none of the physical skills while the other has every conceivable physicall attribute you could desire in a QB but combines that with low mental acuity for the position as well as a, umm, subpar work ethic).
On the other hand, Phillip Rivers is starting to look like the savvy, smart QB he was at NC State while also having more weapons at his disposal than ever before. I'd expect the San Diego's offense to continue to play at the high level they've established since the 2nd half of their first game. However, I also expect San Diego's defense (2 ints, at least, book it) and Darren Sproles to supply the offense with steady diet of good field position and opportunites to score. See, what I'm saying here is this one won't be close. Chargers...big.
Before NBC hit us over the head for years with the "Must See TV" campaign, the braintrust at ABC provided us with some of the (ahem) best family comedies ever as part of their "Thank Goodness It's Funny" campaign, and honestly, who wouldn't find joy in the interaction of this funny talking immigrant and his anal-retentive cousin?
Show of hands here...Who thinks Rob's a pint sized little asshole? Okay, that's what I thought. Show of hands again...Who thinks that video Rob posted earlier this afternoon is easily the gayest thing thats ever graced the fine pages (screens?) of Gheorghe?
Wow. I mean I knew it was gay but I didn't expect a unanimous response. Oh wait, not quite unanimous. Rob didn't raise his hand did he? My bad. I didn't even realize he was here until he just jumped up on that footstool. Even with that, I can barely see him. Anyway, I couldn't let the entire afternoon go with that crap sitting there as the first thing people see when they log on to G:TB. I mean, that fucking song is so bad that I had to take a shower and drench myself in Stetson just to make sure I wasn't going to catch "the gay". Unfortunately, many of you are stuck at work and therefore, unable to shower. So consider this underrated Outkast track/video my gift to you...
Sorry Geoff, I couldn't embed any videos fromSouthernplayalisticadillacmuzik. Deal with it.
I can't believe Michelob stole this song. I mean, it's a killer tune, but Big Alcohol couldn't even bother to film new material to go with it - just slapped it on some tired old content. G:TB, defender of the little guy, is here to put things right. Boys and girls, we give you...The Kooks.
Since it appears to be Birthday Week at G:TB, we salute a generational icon, born on this date in 1951. Somewhere, our friend Cliff is feeling a disturbance.
I'm an unmitigated political junkie, which is likely an indicator of a whole range of deep-rooted psychological issues. But if more political discourse was like this, I'd have a lot of company in my lunacy.
My name is Rob, and I can't watch recorded sports programming.
Your DVR has no value to me. I know how it works. I get that it should be a significant boon – I can spend quality time with my family and then, after the little ones go to bed, I can cozy up to some recorded sports action as if it’s happening live. It appears for all the world to be a technology-assisted win-win. But I can’t use it.
The fact of the matter is that I have an advanced case of adult attention deficit disorder combined with a particularly virulent lack of personal discipline. The net result: I am constitutionally incapable of ignoring the result of a contest that’s been completed, even if I know I have it recorded for my viewing pleasure. The Olympics were a special kind of torture.
When I got my first DVR a year or so ago (after resisting it on the grounds that I’d wind up writing something exactly like this), I tried several times to record games – Red Sox here, Redskins there, maybe a college football game or two, some rhythmic gymnastics. And every single time, I saw the result before I had a chance to watch the recorded action. On purpose. Which rendered the recorded content irrelevant and past tense, because I’m also incapable of watching something once I know the result. That particular insanity isn’t limited to sports. I’m terrible at the movie quote game because I rarely watch movies more than once (Dumb n’ Dumber excepted). I haven’t seen a television rerun in years.
I’m a mental patient with no perceptible ability to delay sports-score-related gratification. I freely admit it. Sure makes it easier to maintain equilibrium with the space-time continuum, though.
Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the season's first episode of Futile Superfans, Gridiron Chapter. In which one of us provides a profanity-laced but more than a little insightful preview of a major college football contest, and I write about William and Mary - profanity quotient TBD, as I'm making this up as I go along.
For this weekend's appetizer, Jimmye Laycock's (well, there we go with the profanity already) William & Mary Tribe takes on regional rival Norfolk State under the lights at Zable Stadium. (And, hey, according to this, venerable Zable's sporting a new FieldTurf rug. This is a tremendous development - much like Whitney, the old boy was thinning in all the wrong places.) Perhaps rival is a bit strong. The last time these two squads met, in 1985, Stan Yagiello was handing off to Michael "Pinball" Clemons, and I was still in high school. Teejay and Mark were barely potty-trained.
Both teams come into the game undefeated against FCS competition, each losing to mid-tier FBS teams. W&M kept it close against a lousy N.C. State team, falling 34-24 in Raleigh, while Norfolk State was drummed by Kentucky, 38-3. The Tribe is coming off its annual dismembering of VMI, while the Spartans won a close home game against North Carolina A&T.
I haven't watched a ton of film yet, but I'm guessing that W&M will be solid to quite excellent on offense while struggling to stop their opponents this season. The Green and Gold have averaged 436.5 yards of total offense per game in their first two (with an unusual for W&M 280 rushing yards per contest). And, unless I miss my guess, Norfolk State will be fast but lack the depth to compete with the Tribe for a full four quarters.
William & Mary's never lost to a MEAC opponent, carrying a 5-0 all-time mark into the contest. Which is, frankly, evidence of insidious bias that my liberal white guilt has a hard time stomaching. I'm gonna vote for the black guy in November to protest my college's record of intolerance.
GTB predicts: W&M 42, Norfolk State 31
Last weekend, Jerry commented that UGA is becoming the new Tennessee, and he couldn’t have been more right. The key word in that assessment was “becoming”, because Georgia’s not quite there yet and Tennessee is not quite dead yet. Georgia’s become a bigger threat to Florida in the SEC East race in recent years and last year’s bullshit celebration stunt may have amped the rivalry back up again but, quite simply, I don’t hate Georgia, its fans or its coach to the extreme levels that I loathe The University of Tennessee. Two of the five worst losses I experienced as a Florida student were at the hands of the Volunteers. As if that weren’t enough, their fans are by far the most obnoxious, annoying group of inbred hillbillies I’ve ever encountered in my life…and I grew up in the south and went to an SEC school so I’m pretty well versed on this subject. I hate anything and everything about Tennessee and nothing brings that hate out like the annual SEC opener for both Florida & Tennessee. It’s a special day.If by special you mean a day where I drink far too much, curse every third word and generally act like a fucking 12 year old for hours on end. If you can’t tell, I’m pretty psyched for tomorrow’s game.So psyched, in fact, that I decided to throw together a little preview.
Yeaap, that's the good stuff. Now, onto the game:
Tennessee Offense vs. Florida Defense:Both of these units have been under extreme scrutiny in the past year and half and are seen as the biggest weaknesses on their respective teams. Tennessee has brought in a new offensive coordinator (Dave Clawson) to revamp an offense that has struggled mightily in recent years (Erik Ainge has that effect on offenses).So far, the results have been mixed as new QB Jonathon Crompton has struggled with his decision making and accuracy. Meanwhile, Tennessee’s running game has looked good as Arian Foster and Montario Hardesty have benefited from running behind one of the SEC’s most experienced O-Lines.
Florida’s defense was flat out awful last year.The secondary was last in the league in passing yardage given up per game and, even that doesn’t accurately describe how horrible they were. The secondary wasn’t the only problem though, the defensive line was completely unable to generate any sort of pass rush with the front four which left a young, inexperienced secondary (3 first year starters) exposed for far too long and resulted in large chunks of yardage gained and an inability to get off the field on third down. Florida’s secondary is now a year older and wiser and the D-Line has looked much more physical through the first two games.While Florida’s defense appears to be much improved as a unit, the real test comes on the road Saturday against a very experienced offense (save for Crompton) that will look to run the ball 30-40 times and make big plays off of play action.A player to watch for on Tennessee will be TE Brandon Warren.He was a freshman All-American at FSU before transferringback home and sitting out last year.He’s a great pass catcher at TE and presents a tough matchup for the Gator LBs.
Key Matchup:UT O-Line vs. UF D-Line
Florida Offense vs. Tennessee Defense:Florida’s offense is as loaded at the skill positions as its been in a decade. Which is great…However, this abundance of weapons also has a downside. OC Dan Mullen often seems so intent on showing off his multitude of highly skilled athletes and imagination that he neglects to call plays according to the offense’s current rhythm or even based on what’s repeatedly shown itself to be effective. Guys don’t end up with enough touches to establish a rhythm for themselves and the offense becomes choppy and ineffective. The return of Percy Harvin to full strength should help alleviate some of this, as Harvin gives Mullen a second “in case of emergency” player on offense along with Tebow. When he needs a big play, Mullen should feel comfortable calling on either of these two, which should result in imaginative play calling without sliding too far down the scale to gimmicky, as has been known to happen during Mullen’s tenure. The unit to watch for Florida will be the O-Line, which has been less than impressive thus far (especially against Miami). The return of senior guard Jim Tartt (Sopchoppy, FL…represent!) should help solidify the interior of this line and allow youngsters like the Pouncey twins to concentrate on their individual assignments and proper execution. If Tartt’s return does have this effect, I’d expect Florida’s O-Line to return to being the strength that many anticipated it would be during the preseason.
As for Tennessee, while the D-Line and linebacking crew are both very solid and as good, or better, than Florida’s seen this year, it’s the secondary that poses the biggest challenge to the Gators. Eric Berry is the best DB in the SEC.He can play anywhere on the field and cover just about anybody. He’s moved to safety this year which means he’ll be more involved in pass defense than last years game (where he returned an interception for a TD). Additionally, Dee Morley is also back (I have no fucking idea how UT got him back in school) and will start alongside Berry at safety. For all of Tim Tebow’s strengths, he’s still emerging as a passer and has a tendency to lock on to his primary receiver. If he gets jittery in the pocket (see: Miami) or locks on to Harvin or Louis Murphy, I’d expect to see the Vols come down with a couple of picks. If he can be content to take what the D gives him both by running and checking down, then Florida’s shouldn't have a problem putting up 25-30 points in Knoxville.
Key Matchup: Tebow/WRs vs. UT Secondary
Special Teams:Florida’s special teams have been great under Meyer. The punt block team is consistently fantastic and looks better this year due to the presence of twin speedsters Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps flying off the edge. As for punt returns, well, I think you know about Brandon James. He’s the best return man in the country, and I don’t think its close. He’s been able to supply the Gators with momentum grabbing returns and great field position since he stepped on campus. I don’t know much about Tennessee’s special teams but I do know that the 87th Colquitt is suspended because of a DUI. This has to make Tennessee’s punt team somewhat less formidable and maybe even a touch slower in getting punts off. Tennessee also has a veteran kicker whereas Florida’s kicker (Jonathon Phillips) kicked his first collegiate FG to beat the point spread against Miami.
Key Matchup:Florida Punt Return/Block vs. Tennessee Punt Coverage
G:TB Pick:Tennessee’s going to play much better than many are anticipating, there’s just too many factors pointing in that direction for me to believe otherwise. They’re playing at home, they quit last year and got embarrassed, Florida’s been talking a little trash and they have the “no respect” card to play as well.With all that said, Florida pulls away late and wins…28-24.Have I mentioned that I hate Tennessee?
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