As you have heard me whine too many times, the Bills haven't made the playoffs since 1999. From 2000 to 2012 they won 82 games and lost 126, averaging 6.3 wins and 9.7 losses. They've suffered four consecutive seasons with double-digit losses and have seven seasons with 10 or more losses over this time frame. But they have no seasons with double-digit wins and just one season above 0.500.
The Browns might actually be worse. I say might because they made the playoffs in 2002 (with a 9-7 record) and they have a season with double-digit wins (10-6 in 2007). But they only mustered 71 wins to 137 losses from 2000 to 2012, an average of 5.5 wins and 10.5 losses per season. That's atrocious -- they averaged double-digit losses for 13 years! They lost 10 or more games 10 times since 2000! They are currently on a streak of five consecutive seasons with 5 or fewer wins. Inspiring stuff. They were an expansion team in 1999 so they went 2-14. They didn't even exist from 1996 to 1998 so they had 0 wins over that span. And before that they had the best football coach of the past 25 years ... but they fired him and moved the team to Baltimore.
I therefore refer to fans of these teams in the 1999-2012 timeframe as The Weary On Erie.
The Bills and Browns have played 17 times since 1972:
As you can see, six of these games took place in 2004 or later. This is no coincidence; the NFL purposely schedules intra-conference games based on the previous year's standings. So the AFC division winners play each other, the second place teams play each other, the third place teams play each other, and the losers play each other. And as I've already explained, the Bills and Browns have done a lot of losing over the past 10+ years. In fact, they have each other as division losers 5 times in 6 years. The missing season was 2011 -- the 2010 Browns went 5-11 and finished ahead of the 4-12 Bengals.
Unsurprisingly, this series of futility is tied at 3-3 with a bunch of ugly scores. They pick up where they left off on Thursday night when the Bills make the trek out I-90 (aka the New York Thruway, aka the Ohio Purnpike, aka AMVETS Memorial Highway) to Cleveland in another divisional losers face-off. The Bills start rookie QB EJ Manuel and at times he looks like a rookie QB.
His stats aren't great:
But they're 2-2 with a win over the defending Super Bowl champions and a game winning drive against Carolina in the 4th quarter. Sure, he only completed 45% of his passes the last two weeks but he was facing two of the better defensive coaches in the league (Rex Ryan and John Harbaugh) so he deserves to be cut a little slack. So I'm once again cautiously optimistic that Buddy Nix got this pick right.
The Browns are also 2-2, riding Brian Hoyer's hot hand to a two game win streak. Although he isn't a rookie like Manuel, Hoyer has a few newbie-looking GIFs floating around on the internet too:
But I suspect that Browns fans, just like Bills fans, have hope that they've found their new franchise QB. Hence the title of this post, in honor of the 6th (VIth?) matchup between these teams in the past 7 years.
These teams have more in common than 2-2 records and questionmarks at QB. The Bills have a -5 point differential while the Browns are -6, with average margins of victory of -1.3 and -1.5 points respectively. Although the Bills have played much closer games (all decided by 7 points or less), it's safe to say that neither team relies on one particular side of the ball to carry them.
The Browns complete 56.8% of their passes, the Bills 56.9%. Accuracy ain't their thang. But uptempo offense is: both teams rank in the top 5 for plays run so far this year (Buffalo 288, Cleveland 280). Unfortunately, both teams rank in the bottom 8 for yards per play, so maybe they should focus on quality instead of quantity. And they're tied with 7 turnovers on offense, right around the league average of 6.9 (clicks).
There's more difference on defense. The Browns have allowed the 4th fewest yards while the Bills have given up the 5th most. The Browns have the stingiest yards-per-carry defense in the league (only 2.9!!) while the Bills are the 9th most generous (4.2 ypc but I'll take anything under 4.5 at this point). Similarly, the Browns allowed a league-leading 2 passing TD so far while the Bills gave up 8 (tied for 10th). The Browns also lead the lead in yards allowed per pass attempt (5.9) while the Bills are right around the league average (7.1). The Browns also lead the league in yards per completion (9.8) whle the Bills rank 29th (13.1). The Bills lead the league with 9 INT, and the Browns have but 3 picks. But they both rank in the top 8 in terms of opposing passer rating (70.0 for Buffalo, 73.5 for Cleveland).
Remarkably, both teams rank in the top 5 in defensive plays run (298 for the Bills, 279 for the Browns) so I guess we should expect to see a lot of action with little downtime on Thursday.
I don't believe in the Bills' running game even though they've racked up the 2nd most rushing yards per game, and I expect the Browns' defense to shut down Spiller and Jackson. Although I'm not sold on Brian Hoyer, I don't have a ton of faith in Buffalo's passing defense either. I can also see recently acquired Browns RB Willis McGahee running roughshod over his former team just to remind everyone that the Bills are bad at retaining talent. Like this guy who they got to replace McGahee, and who replaced with CJ Spiller:
Yeah, I'd trade this guy for a 4th round pick. Good value.
The Bills have players named EJ, CJ, and TJ, aka the Eedge, the Ceedge, and the Teedge. That's too many -dges for my taste, and the team with the most Teedges usually loses. So I'm picking Cleveland to win 16-13.
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Zman, do you mean "Episode IV" - that was New Hope. I will change title of post before some nerds troll me on twitter/tumblr.
No, donkey, read the post.
I don't read posts.
So the Bucs are calling every NFL team to gauge interest in Josh Freeman. That's adorable. "Hey, we've got this QB we benched & banned from our sideline last game. Also we've leaked info about him missing meetings and being a part of the NFL's drug program. You guys want to trade us a decent draft pick for him? Hello?".
Nice work, Zeedge.
Enduring the 8-0 and 6-3 games of yesteryear is part of the dues-paying process. I think the Bills are going places. Cleveland, for example.
At last weekend's Bills/Jets tilt, the people on my left weren't the regular ticket holders, they were a pair of married Giants fans. Halfway through the 3rd quarter they realized that I'm a Bills fan and the battleaxe of a wife asked me "Whayuh iz Fitzpatrick?" Stunned, I told her that he was waived. Befuddled, she said "Whoy?" Aghast, I replied "Because he had a $56 million contract!" Mystified, she scrunched up her nose and let her mouth hang open to indicate her mystification. Irked, I added "And he sucks at football."
But now Fitz is back! Can't wait to pickup whatever defense he's playing on Sunday!
And thanks go to Mark -- I got the Kanyeatles download. As you mentioned, "Hey Jude, We Major" is excellent, though they could trim it down a touch on both ends. I enjoyed it as much as "What More Can I Say" off the Grey Album.
I also like "Because You Can't," interesting because I never much dug the Beatles tune. Way better backdrop than standalone. Nice rec.
Thank you.
The Bucs cut Ahmad Black and Kevin Ogletree today. Not stars but solid role players. I guess the weren't Greg Schiano's type of "Buccaneer Men". Yes, he uses that phrase. Somebody kill him already.
Mark...
According to Jenna Laine of Sports Talk Florida, Josh Freeman was told to leave his own suite. The suite he paid for, filled with his family members. Instead, security told him he had to watch the game with his other inactive teammates.
Growing up in a surfing community I frequently saw bumper stickers and tshirts with the phrase 'Eddie Would Go'. (it was part of a Quiksilver ad campaign at one point). Tonight's 30 for 30 is about that same Eddie, Eddie Auikua. He was one of the original big wave surfers. Even if you couldn't care less about surfing, I think you'll enjoy it.
TJ, you're not helping my anger problems.
Do I ever?
Sometimes you make me laugh.
Danimal will be happy to learn that the Jags are historically bad. Only 7 other teams since 1940 have a worse point differential through 4 games.
http://pfref.com/pi/share/2IEmV
And in retrospect it looks like Cleveland relies on their defense to carry them regardless of what I opined in this post.
If you found my Redskins/trademark rant interesting (and I doubt you really did) then you might also find interesting a TTAB decision from last Thursday rejecting a trademark as racially offensive. The trademark was THE SLANTS and the applicant was musical group consisting entirely of Asian Americans. They argued that by embracing the word they would negate the stereotype and negative connotation. TTAB didn't buy it.
the jags stat is impressive especially considering we scored 17in one of those 4 outings. wouldn't say it makes me happy though.
i read yesterday that were the season to end today, the jags would actually have the 4th pick based on strength of schedule. we'll only move up that ladder (or is it latter, clarence?) here on out.
great post on two teams i don't care about. also, this "auto-brewing" things explains all of my behavior over the past 30 years.
So this weekend they are playing the president's cup at the course I caddied at for two years. I would write a 1,000 preview guestie but: 1) No one asked, 2)no one wants to read it and 3)no one cares about the president's cup.
so i can expect that preview in my inbox sometime tomorrow? i'll add the pics and vids
Well I don't have a goddamn thing to do...I'll tell you that much. Only thing I accomplished today was getting all the dude in my office in on my govt shutdown beards plan.
Geoff has a beard. The jokes write themselves.
The Boston Red Sox, the Oakland A's, half of the NHL, and Geoff's office - TEAM BEARD
z--good one. You have a keen sense of comedy. Congrats.
Geoff and I each have a beard. It's uncanny how many things we have in common.
The building that TR and I work in is across the street from the location of A-Rod's arbitration hearing.
Currently there are about 200 folks outside the building chanting in support of Alex and holding signs that say "No Justice, No Peace".
Geoff & Mark: Human, male, American, fathers, college educated, home owners, right handed, enjoy hip hop, hate the tea party, love dogs, incredibly well hung, think zman is a little uppidy for a slovenly balding Bills fan, think the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap, think that shit at OBFT where everyone follows Whitney around and takes orders from him like he's fucking Burt Reynolds or something is a little gay, and we both like Brussels sprouts.
the fuck is wrong with people (non-gop-congress chapter)?
I think I'm uppity.
was responding to marls, but it works for geoff's attempt to understand obft while never attending. whitney is far more boss hogg than burt reynolds.
I like to take strong stands on things I have never experienced and only have spotty third-hand information about. I've built a career on it.
"We all go to this restaurant when Whitney says its okay, but no one is allowed to order food until Whitney says its okay. And then he tells us when we can leave to go home and play games." - Overheard
you know who else took strong stands on things they don't understand? other than the tea party dipshits?
Hitler? Bin Laden? Limbaugh? Jesus? Burt Reynolds?
If you don't like to take strong stands on things I've never experienced then you're not a good American.
I'm not real big on Brussel sprouts.
bingo. also, chris berman.
wait- didnt burt reynolds play boss hog in the dukes of hazard movie?
Thank you, Lumpy. Check mate. Game, blouses.
Jerry's been leaking OBFT trade secrets again. Jerry, I banish you to the panhandle for 1.5 meals at OBFT XXI. Seek refuge at Lucky 12 if you must. They have no extradition treaty with Tortuga's.
The part about the handjobs was a little unsettling as well.
1. The Dukes of Hazzard movie never happened.
2. Brussel sprouts are fantastic
3. A-Rod's supporters have an odd amount of empathy for a man who has made half a billion dollars, especially in light of the fact that they would appear to be jobless.
4. Z-man is not slovenly anymore.
5. Where can I buy and official Game Blouse?
brussels sprouts really are phenomenal. little olive oil, salt, pepper, 15 mins at high temps...mmmwah.
Tom Clancy...Dead
Broka will never read again.
Was I ever really slovenly? Pasty, out-of-shape, lazy? Certainly. But slovenly?
Torpid?
Very much so.
Turgid?
I go to one horrific, hour long HR meeting and come back to this glorious run in the comments section.
Bravo, gents.
From time to time. The jokes write themselvs.
Just asked someone if we could agree to disagree. She said no. Need counsel on my next move?
Indian wrestling is always a good way to settle disputes.
Helpful. I went with my standard response that is sure to escalate any and all disputes: "I guess I just had no idea you were so insecure about this."
Not agreeing to disagree implies she believes she can convince you of her point. Impressive. Try to convert her to your Scientologist faith during the same conversation.
If someone refuses to agree to disagree, then they agree. So you should have said "Great, I'm glad you came around to my view" and walked away. Your beard should've told you this.
Your beard is weird.
No play for Mr. Gray.
in a king of the hill/survivor pool this weekend, can i trust the rams to not shit the bed and lost at home to the woeful jaguars?
fuck you, autocorrect
Big Boi is doing a show at the Howard Theatre tonight and giving free admission to all government employees. I guess the shutdown isn't all bad.
Geoff--I'm looking forward to that President's Cup analysis. I'm one of the 7 people watching the Golf Channel every night instead of football
Day two of jury duty down. I'm no lawyer but all I can say is there are at least two awful ones in New England.
Example: the judge presiding over the case allows us, the jury, to submit questions for the witness after the lawyers are done. Of the three witnesses called, two were asked more questions by the jury than both lawyers combined. Is this normal? Or is this the typical over-educated New England factor coming into play?
Brainy Massholes probably asked questions that neither party wanted answered.
Former Bill Donte Whitner is legally changing his last name to Hitner. Not because he wants to be confused with a maniacal mass murderer. Because he hits hard.
I'm changing mine to Hitney. Not because I want to be confused with a maniacal mass murderer. Because I hit on chicks.
Not really, guys. It was just a joke. A play on Zman's comment. Come on...
that is a huge relief
I considered making a Shitney joke but deemed it too immature.
Shut up, . . . Drew . . . -py. I don't know. I got nothing.
Geoff's President Cup Preview is up.
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