I was reflecting the other day about one of Gheorghe: The Blog's posts from earlier this summer. The Jonas Salk part of that story made me think very, very deeply -- and, as those who know me well will tell you, I am surely wont to do.
Our parents' generation saw the debilitating disease polio go from a tragically common occurrence to a thing of the past, so much so that we -- merely a generation later -- can't really relate to their fear of it. It's one among many things we take for granted, but it's a significant one by any standard.
Eerily similarly, however, our generation now breathes a quiet sigh of relief knowing that the rampant, inevitable, and often violent collisions involving persons carrying chocolate bars and other persons carrying open jars of peanut butter have been curbed almost entirely out of existence. It's a wee bit disappointing to think that the kids today cannot truly appreciate this eradication, but the magic of YouTube can demonstrate just the tip of the iceberg on a crisis that was spiraling out of control . . .
* * * *
Oh, and one more thing to file under "Things I Learned from Television in the 1970's":
Italian-Americans with surnames ending in "elli" or "ello" are instantly made thoroughly more endearing people if you simply call them by the surname's first syllable (Fonz, Ponch, etc.). It really softens an otherwise potentially hard-edged citizen. Try this with neighbors, colleagues, etc. -- it works.
Exception: in college I had a female professor for The Study of Language whose last name was Scancarelli. (Both c's are hard, but not as hard as she was.) IT DID NOT WORK. I failed the class, which was a large reason why the English Department disowned me soon thereafter.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
16 comments:
Another endearing way to refer to Italian men is to shorten their last name to a word that's a well-known brand of food synonymous with the character's ethnicity. And dress him in a satin jacket.
At least that's what Carmine Ragusa told me.
You all know what to get me for Christmas:
A New York publisher is to go ahead with the release of If I Did It, OJ Simpson's hypothetical account of the murders of his ex-wife and one of her friends.
A spokesman for literary agent Sharlene Martin did not identify the publishing house involved in the deal or specify when the book would come out, saying only that further details would be released on Tuesday.
You posted this at 1:14am? Couldn't sleep knowing somewhere chocolate and peanut butter were longing to be together?
And in pamphlet form, about that same time we'll get "If I Also Did It," Teejay Croyle's hypothetical account of how he would have hurled a pint glass at a car in a parking lot in the Outer Banks.
Teej, you're a little too young to realize just how out of control these Jif-Hershey collisions really were. Honestly, in 1979 you couldn't walk down the street eating delicious peanut butter directly from the jar with your fingers and not have some clumsy clown dump his chocolate bar into it.
I had a much better alibi than the Juice. Who knew "hiding" in the exact vehicle from which said glass came from could outsmart two minimum wage supermarket clerks...oh wait.
But, that is all circumstantial, since I did not do it, and am hunting daily for the real glass throwers.
Not sure if you're paying attention, but the defending World Series champs are now only 3 games back of the Brew Crew in the NL Central. How in the name of Kip Wells did that happen?
You couldn't even make shit this ridiculous up:
Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.
Be quiet TJ.
Joe Offerman is being charged with assault for hitting two players with a bat. Clinton Portis thinks people should just let him live.
That's the first time he's ever made solid contact in his career.
i go away for two days and jose offerman (joe hitsmanwithbat?) goes all juan marichal.
and teejay steals my joke.
Greg, flights to Moscow can be had right now for the low, low price of $813 round trip:
Moscow - A Russian region of Ulyanovsk has found a novel way to fight the nation's birth-rate crisis: It has declared Sept. 12 the Day of Conception and for the third year running is giving couples time off from work to procreate.
The hope is for a brood of babies exactly nine months later on Russia's national day. Couples who "give birth to a patriot" during the June 12 festivities win money, cars, refrigerators and other prizes.
Ulyanovsk, about 550 miles east of Moscow, has held similar contests since 2005. Since then, the number of competitors, and the number of babies born to them, has been on the rise.
okay....but let me tell you something about the dude....
Oh boy...Whit, I just uncovered some news that is going to piss you off to no end. You know that Chicago-based movie you love so much, The Untouchables. Well, it appears Brian de Palma is directing a sequel, set for release in 2008 entitled "The Untouchables: Capone Rising."
The guys at Rotoworld always make me chuckle:
Yankees released IF Miguel Cairo.
The Yankees' television announcers spent all season fawning over Cairo, so this move must come as quite a shock to their systems. He'll latch on somewhere as a utility man, but Michael Kay will never be the same.
Post a Comment