Hey, I think I saw this movie...

...It was called Basic, had Travolta and Sam Jackson in it:

BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - Five American soldiers have been arrested for trying to smuggle hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cocaine into the United States on a U.S. military aircraft, the U.S. military said.
The five unidentified Army personnel were detained on Tuesday and are being held in the United States for "allegedly trying to transport approximately 16 kilograms (35 lb) of cocaine," U.S. Southern Command said in a news release late on Thursday.

In other totally unrelated news, Pat Bu-cannot-win was assaulted with salad dressing:

KALAMAZOO, Mich. (AP) - Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing.
"Stop the bigotry!'' the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University. The incident came just two days after another noted conservative, William Kristol, was struck by a pie during an appearance at a college in Indiana.

"It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken":

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Frank Perdue, the Maryland farmer who revolutionized the poultry industry and gave chicken a brand name, died Friday following a brief illness at the age of 84.

So this version of Death coming in threes was Johnnie Cochran, Terri Schiavo, and Frank Perdue. Too bad the Pope was late to the party.