I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire and I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan...together, we're WYLD STALLYNS...To Gilbert Arenas and Larry Hughes, who I am openly rooting for to lead the Wiz to a first round playoff victory over the Bulls (and by the way, can we stop calling them the Baby Bulls? Who came up with that, Wilbon?). Arenas and Hughes will need to dominate Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich on both ends if the Wiz are to win the series.
It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude"...To Christian Guzman, who not only cost the Nationals the game yesterday afternoon, but also cost John Patterson a much needed win for my fantasy team. At this point in the season, I wouldn't trade a bottle of Paul Newman's Balsamic Vinaigrette for Guzman and his .140 average (I had actually typed .160, then went to look it up, and go figure, this donkey is hitting even worse then .160)
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!...I figured this was the right spot to take a shot at Peter Angelos. What a dickweed.
OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of? 69, dudes...Whoa...For anyone who knows me, this is the line in the movie that always gets me, no matter how many times I watch. 69 dudes...I'm cracking up right now typing this.
Uh, Ms. Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our... friends...this is Dave Beeth Oven...and, uh, Maxine of Arc, Herman the Kid, Bob "Genghis" Khan, So-crates Johnson, Dennis Frood...and uh, uh...Abraham Lincoln...To the North Carolina mass exodus, a list of names almost as distinguished as those referenced above. Sean May, Raymond Felton, Rashad McCants, and most likely Marvin Williams are all leaving Chapel Hill early for the NBA. I will be very curious to see how Roy Williams does next year without these guys.
You ditched Napoleon. Do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas...He was a dick...Hey Peter Angelos, I'm looking right at you. Well, actually, I need to look down to look at you, but you get my point.
Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance around here?...To Pedro Martinez, who has jumped back into the conversation of best pitchers of all time after jumping back to the National League. Pedro looked absolutely dominant again last night. Plus he's quirky as all get out.
Everything is different, but the same... things are more moderner than before... bigger, and yet smaller... it's computers... San Dimas High School football rules...To tomorrow's NFL Draft, the best damn reality show on television. Here's to Mel Kiper's hair and Chris Berman's ego.
Friday, April 22, 2005
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12 comments:
Oh man, Regis is on Mike and Mike right now. Let the comedy ensue...
It's as if Bill Simmons just got a lot dumber, and yet, strangely funnier.
What's with all the hate for Angelos? I don't like him much, but what has he done to you to warrant 2 Bill and Ted quotes.
I am not complete unless I can really really hate one individual per month. Little Petey Angelos is April's winner.
Let's leave April out of this. Her and Swint are going for one of their "walks" later.
A "walk to remember" I'm sure.
Uh oh, I think we have new cover sheets for the TPS Reports...let's see how long I can ignore them.
You ever notice how "going for a walk" sounds like you're doing something, but "walking around" sounds really lame, even though they're essentially the same thing?
I told that to a girl in my office and she got mad at me.
You better write something or Whitney is gonna yell at you.
I'm not sure Whitney made it out of New Orleans alive.
This should hold Whit's attention:
Bruce Springsteen Kicks Off Summer Tour
DETROIT - It was as if Bruce Springsteen invited 5,100 of his closest friends over for a while to listen to a few tunes he had put together in his spare time. But the setting was a packed concert hall at the downtown Fox Theatre.
Springsteen performed 27 songs Monday night, including most of the 12 new songs from his latest release "Devils and Dust," which was recorded without the E Street Band.
Springsteen told the audience to switch off their cell phones and sit quietly during the show. The mostly dark stage was often illuminated with red, purple and blue lighting cascading down the drapes on each side, creating an elegant yet intimate setting.
Springsteen, dressed in a black shirt with rolled-up sleeves and jeans, had a harmonica around his neck, a couple of microphones, a guitar, a piano, speaker monitors, a dimly lit beaded lamp on a table and an old-style chandelier. A stagehand brought him several guitars over the course of the night.
The 2 1/2-hour concert marked the first in a 13-city North American acoustic tour. Springsteen will perform in theaters and in arenas scaled down to a theater format. This is his first solo act since the "Ghost of Tom Joad" tour in 1996-97.
Most concertgoers had not heard the new songs; only the title track could be heard online and on the airwaves before the album's release, set for Tuesday.
The romantic, somewhat upbeat "Maria's Bed" got the biggest reaction among the new songs, with one fan yelling, "that's a keeper!"
Springsteen kept it light, occasionally joking with the crowd. He recalled times when his parents would listen to the Top-40 stations filled with love songs on the radio. He said his dad believed love songs "were a government conspiracy to get you married, have children and pay taxes.
"That stuck with me for about 40 years," he said before singing "For You."
After performing what was supposed to be the last song, "Matamoros Banks," from the new CD, Springsteen returned to the stage to chants of "Bruuuuuce!" to do four more of his older works including "Waitin' on a Sunny Day," which he let the audience sing with him, and a stark, stripped-down version of one of his most popular, uplifting anthems, "Promised Land."
"Devils and Dust" was to be released in a dual-disc format, with the full album compact disc on one side and a film and bonus material are on the opposite DVD side.
Springsteen had most of the tunes nearly finished by 1997, but put them aside in favor of a 1999 reunion tour with the E Streeters. That tour led to 2002's "The Rising," a musical reaction to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
Upcoming tour dates include April 28 in Dallas, April 30 in Phoenix and May 2-3 in Los Angeles.
I'm alive, but I wish I could have fallen into a coma until my body recovered. Flynn and I walked into Igor's for the first time in two years and the bartender pointed at me, smiled, and yelled, "Whitney!" I really stood no chance after that . . .
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