Everything is coming up Milhouse

It's Day 4 at the new gig, and I must say, things are going splendidly, minus the annoyance of Lotus Notes. Who are the ad wizards that came up with this? It is nice though to tell your new boss, "Yeah, I've gotten alot done; in fact, in the last 2 hours I figured out how to change the background color on my email." Yesterday, I was told I will be getting a Diner's Club card, and I immediately wondered outloud if I would be the only person under the age of 65 with one. I hear Telly Savalas will present the card to me as soon as he is done burning down Ving Rhames' house. Enough about the job - I am thoroughly pumped because I'm going to see the hometown Nats tonight in their RFK opener, and if I keep consumption levels low enough, I am hoping for a nice little recap tomorrow. Got Wilk?

Best Wiz Update of the Year:
Eastern Conference
1. z-Miami
2. y-Detroit
3. x-Boston
4. x-Chicago
5. x-Indiana
6. x-Washington
7. Cleveland
8. Philadelphia
9. New Jersey
And that wonderful "x" means the Wiz have clinched a Playoff Spot. I look forward to that case of Coors Light Mr. Laster.

Some housekeeping issues from below:
- Dennis hates Ichiro. I don't know why, but he does, and frankly, I have no problem with that. Hopefully Dennis can expand his hatred to all races and religions, not just Japanese singles hitters. Reach for the stars Dennis.

- Mr. Wilson posted a clip, a Mr. T clip, below, and if you haven't watched it yet, shame on you. Mr. T at his finest.

- Mr. Earls directed my attention to a RIDICULOUS story involving a former NFL kicker, and man oh man, it sure does have a hint of the insanity that was Ray Finkle. If Cole Ford changes his name to Lois Einhorn we have a problem.

Olden Polynice strikes again...
WINDERMERE, Fla. -- Police across the state are on the lookout for a man pretending to be the Windermere police chief. He's already pulled one woman over, but she managed to get away.
The chief of police in Windermere just put the "be on the lookout" alert in effect Wednesday afternoon. It seems this impersonator has pretended to be the chief before. But, last night, the man slipped up and his intended victim knew it.

Finally, in my capacity as Governor of Cheeseland, I decree...
MADISON, Wis. (AP) - A proposal to legalize the killing of feral cats is not going to succeed, Gov. Jim D said Wednesday.
"I don't think Wisconsin should become known as a state where we shoot cats," said D, a Democrat who neither hunts nor owns a cat. "What it does is sort of hold us up as a state that everybody is kind of laughing at right now."