Hey Everybody!

Good morning from New Orleans. I am here for work, and will be for several days, so why don't you folks jump in the comments and help the ole Teej out with some unique, non-French Quarter-y suggestions in this town. Warning though, Igor has already sent me a "War and Peace" length email with suggestions, so I might not get to all the GTB gold star recommendations.

An Homage to Jeremy Shockey?

Greasy Saint is stuck in my head and I'm tired of looking at Graveyard Shift.

Worst Movie You Ever Saw In The Theater?

Play along in the comments. My choice: Graveyard Shift, an adaptation of a Stephen King story, though I imagine he would like to be as far removed from this poop as possible. It's the story of...giant rats??? Who the F knows...this movie was a debacle from start to finish (close 2nd: Warlock)

New York City's Killing Me

Not so much the city itself but my time spent here. I'm not qualified to review folk music, so it doesn't count when I say that Ray LaMontagne's new album is pretty spotty. This song, however, sticks in my head like dingleberries to the bear's toquis in those Charmin ads.

Happy Halloween GTBers

May your trees be full of toilet paper and your mailboxes full of shaving cream by night's end...and may you not get jacked up like this guy:

Happy Cockatoo Party Saturday

Oh, it's CockTAIL party? My bad.

Flip should've just DNP'd the whole squad

Instead, the Wizards played everyone they had last night.  And it didn't help.  Hell, the Magic played everyone they had too...it helps when you're up 30 the whole game.  It keeps Gortata and Ryan Anderson in shape.

A very light slate of games last night, so the only DNP:CDs to report:
Garret Siler and Earl Clark (Suns)
Jeremy Evans (Jazz)

Which is funny, because I created that "Garret Siler Watch" label for the first of these goofy posts, thinking he might be our leader in the clubhouse all year, but I think Semih Erden of the Celts will have something to say about that before all is said and done.

Now to get to work on the DNP:CDs scoreboard jpeg...

The Ghoogles: Yes Virginia, There are Fluffers

Tried a little something different this time around - removed the "fan favorite" searches, if you will. So I dropped all the circus peanuts hits (thanks Dave) and the frightening number of people searching for pics of Igor (why people, why?). What's left is this cluster-f**k of search terms. Enjoy:

• some thoughts on mustaches
• macheda smoking
• eight-day rental
• sadler pi lam
• we got some canes over here
• cee lo green blogspot
• todd fuller
• nazik avdalyan
• jay baller
• would you like some making fuck
• janet jones hot for teacher
• scumbag millionaire
• tattoo boy
• whitesnake girl on car
• odesse vodka review
• 5 facial expressions
• do fluffers really exist
• joe table
• kato my little yellow friend
• mike magnante pension
• muscular woman
• s.l.price and sports illustrated
• small wonder vicki
• zoltan mesko
• 1980's topps baseball cards
• bea hamel porn
• birthday cake vector
• colin quinn remote control
• first place ribbon clip art
• flux capacitor..fluxing
• fresh prince pics
• gabriela sabatini
• i hate kyle
• is cee lo green a midget
• jessee vasold
• michael westbrook stephen davis
• miners sodomize youngest miner
• missionary.spouses.fucking.in.bed.com
• muresan
• odu mascot
• snl italian flatulence kevin kline video download
• socio economic aspect with caries status
• terrence williams lips
• trix rabbit
• vajazzling

DNP:CDs...The Pistons Hate Georgetown Alums

Night 2 of the NBA Season had a shitload of games. This endeavor is already wearing on me. But what the hell, let's take another look at those players deemed unworthy of starting a NBA game, at least according to their head coaches (except the Nets, Hornets, Grizzlies, Spurs, Jazz and Warriors - they saw fit to throw everyone out there last night)...

First, let's get the injured guys and league suspensions out of the way - by definition these are not DNP:CDs.

Delonte West (Celts)

Joey Dorsey (Raptors) - Apparently Dorsey took a swing at Brian Scalabrine and got a one game timeout.

Tyreke Evans (Kings) - Tyreke likes to drive verrrry fast

Brandon Rush (Pacers)

"Better get used to it" DNP:CDs
Semih Erden (Celts)
Mario Chalmers (Heat) apparently finds himself in a spacious 5 bedroom, 4 bath doghouse with no chance of exiting
Jordan Hill (Rockets)
Patty Mills and Luke Babbitt of the Blazers

"You might be bad if you can't get some run on the 2010-11 Cavs"
Joey Graham, Leon Powe and Manny Harris I'm looking at you

"Georgetown Haters"
DaJuan Summers and Greg Monroe (Pistons)

"Obvious Pac 10 big man bias. You see cases break out like this all over the country this time of year."
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute and Jon Brockman (Bucks)

"Larry Brown simply hates you" - Bobcats DNP:CDs

Matt Carroll and Sherron Collins

"Facepalm"

DeShawn Stevenson (Mavs)

"Pacers were over their limit of suited-up honkeys"

Jeff Foster and Tyler Hansbrough

"Hey old man, how did you even get in the gym?"

Anthony Carter (Nuggets)

"Kevin is very disappointed in you guys"

Royal Ivey, D.J. White and Cole Aldrich (Thunder)

"Miscellaneous dudes at the bottom of the page"

Tony Battie (76ers) - Still in the league, eh?

Shawne Williams (Knicks)

Andy Rautins (Knicks) - Obvious anti-Canadian bias.

Julian Wright (Raptors)

Lazar Hayward (Twolves)
James Johnson (Bulls)
jason Collins (Hawks)
Jermaine Taylor (Rockets)
Brian Cook (Clippers)

Bonus DNP:CD fun for the comments - Check out the Wiz roster and predict who Flip keeps nailed to the pine tonight.

Name That Tune

I recently returned from a highly productive three day jaunt to Boston during which I got more stories than JD's got Salingers.

1. I got a haircut from my old barber Baldino who was recently named runner-up for best barber in Boston, which is bullschtein because he's still #1. You're a donkey if you let anyone else in Boston cut your hair. Now like the Knicks I got game like I work at Hasbro.

2. I got my "Biz's Baddest Beats" CD back from my buddy J-P, who borrowed it some time around 2003 and who returned it on Tuesday with nary a scratch. Now I got more [of Biz's] hits than Sadahara Oh.

3. I got a gurgling cod. I can put juice in it, and I got more juice than Picasso got paint.

4. I got a King of Kenmore and some beers including Samuel Smith's India Ale and a really good porter the name of which I cannot remember, at The Lower Depths. With that porter, I got more flavor than Fruit Striped Gum.

5. I got a good music tip from Chris, the kickass bartender at The Lower Depths, because he put "Exploding Head" by A Place to Bury Strangers on, and I said how much I like them, and he said he was embarassed to admit that he just heard about them, and I said that that made no sense as they were totally up his alley, and he agreed and then suggested I check out Film School, claiming that they are very similar acts.



I think the comparison is pretty good musically ...



... and when it isn't close musically it's close graphically ...



In any event, with the addition of Film School to my iPod I can now say that I got more rhymes than Jamaica got mangoes. I counted. Really, I did.

6. I got home and the zwoman just finished doing the laundry and was folding her tits off, so now I have clean clothes. You could even say that I got more suits than Jacoby and Meyers. Or, for bonus points, that I got more styles than all the Jamaicans in Brooklyn.

DNP:CDs...The Adventure Begins

Not so long ago, a crack blogmando unit was recruited to create a blog that ultimately did not exist.  These men promptly escaped from a minimum obligation group blog to the current interweb underground.  Today, still wanted by TJ as a source for humor, that almost-blog name will survive as a Kellen Winslow soldier of the internet.  If you have a problem, if no one else will waste their time doing this, and if you can find me before lunch, maybe you can have...the "Did Not Play: Coach's Decision" list.

DNP:CDs...Night 1

The "Holy S**t These Guys Are Still In The League" DNP:CDs
Juwan Howard (Heat)
Jamaal Magloire (Heat)

The "Weren't You Really Good In College" DNP:CDs
Mario Chalmers (Heat)
Earl Clark (Suns)

Luke Babbitt (Trail Blazers)

Patrick Mills (Trail Blazers)

Devin Ebanks (Lakers)

The "Seriously, I Love Sports, But Who The F*** Are You?" DNP:CDs
Semih Erden (Celtics)
Garret Siler (Suns)

The "He Makes Me Hungry, I Want A Fig Newton" DNP:CD
Von Wafer (Celtics)

The "Hahahaha You Are Cursed By The Stink Of Isiah" DNP:CDs
Jordan Hill (Rockets)
Jared Jeffries (Rockets)

The "Phil Benched You Because Your New Significant Other Makes Phil's Look Like A Horse" DNP:CD
Sasha Vujacic (Lakers)

And of course last night we also had the "NWT - League Suspension" for Mr. Delonte West of the Celtics.  Delonte, you just keep on keepin' on.  We support your hijinx.

**Your image provided by the google search of "riding the bench".  Thank you google.**

Halloween Preview / Hump Day Filler

Here is a goodie from our favorite elitist sitcom. I would post more fascinating content like this, except I now have a new job that commands more than 50% effort. And the new gig has an uber-tough firewall - no Pandora, no Sports Guy podcasts and no Gheorghe: The Blog. A tragedy indeed.

But enough about me. Let's turn it to Mr. Jordan...

The NBA season begins tonight...

and barring a miracle last-minute post from Mark I was concerned we wouldn't have a proper forum for the usual G:TB-related nonsense...so, in that vein, let the season begin with this hastily chosen clip:

How Monday Feels

Happy mosh pitting at the ragu festival...apparently you need to click on the picture to see the awesomeness.  Click I said.

A Tough Ho to Row

It's William & Mary Week at Igor's desk (which looks suspiciously like a bar). From the What to Watch on TV This Weekend file, if you're very lucky, you live in an area that gets the I-AA game of the week. The official listing says that the Homecoming showdown between #5 W&M and #2 Delaware will air on "The Comcast Network/Comcast SportsNet New England/Cox11-TV." Cross your fingers, set your TiVo. Noontime tomorrow.

Wrens v. Hens is always a spirited match-up, anyway, and as Homecoming opponents go, this one rots. Apparently we liked the way the Blue Hens were sucking it up a season or two ago, but in 2010, they are eons away from the patty-cakes we should be scheduling for the masses to watch.

As has been alluded to in the G:TB comments here before, the Tribe's march to the playoffs is no cakewalk. The CAA is friggin' brutal this year, as evidenced by the I-AA standings. The conference has seven teams in the top 15 right now; although the conference does boast the most teams in it with 12, even broken down per school, the Colonial is a SuperLeague right now. 259 poll points per school.

The point here is to underscore the post from earlier this week; ain't no picnic at William & Mary these days, unless you count the sparkling cider and fromage outings by Crim Dell that the undergrads are relegated to lately. Catch the game if you can.

CAA Action . . . it's not bad.

Getting primed for Election Day

Zman and Danimal's talk of their respective gubernatorial elections has gotten me primed for November 2nd...

South Park - Turd Sandwich vs. Giant Douche

Blake | Myspace Video

Hey James Harrison: STFU

No, seriously, stop whining. Retire if you want. I don't want to hear it.

Fuji-La

For as long as I can remember, I've been a Fuji apple partisan. You can keep your Red Delicious, your Honeycrisp, your McIntosh, and for Chrissakes your Granny Smith. Give me Japan's favorite eating apple and its dense, sweet, crisp flesh. Today, though, I walked into the local purveyor of grocery items and was tempted by the fruit of another. Why, hello, Ambrosia, you creamy, sweet, aromatic minx.
Also, dude on a bike:

Tim Knoll BMX from tim knoll on Vimeo.

I got your head noddin' cuz your neck knows it's old

TR and I recently jointly opined that we know we're getting old because it seems like all new rap sucks. This isn't the first time I've felt this way. Fortunately, something like this inevitably turns up to make me feel like less of an old man.

BET Videos

Get Help, People

When I was in school, there were two pervasive rumors about The College of William & Mary:

1. There is an above-average number of gay students.
2. There is an above-average number of suicides.

Now, living in the same fraternity house as Rob and Dave, I got used to the fact that #1 was pretty true. As for the second rumor, I never knew anyone in my four-plus years at the College that took his or her own life, so I figured it was bunk. Get this unfortunate piece of news, though. The third suicide in a year at W&M occurred last week. I have removed the names out of respect for the deceased, but I will reveal that the most recent student's name was Whitney.

Another William and Mary student commits suicide... Third this year

On Friday morning, the body of William and Mary sophomore ******, was discovered in the Lake Matoaka area.

In a campus-wide email, Vice President for Student Affairs Ginger Ambler said: “****** was a Sharpe Scholar who had tremendous academic talent. Her faculty have described her as having a particular passion for biodiversity and for exploring the relationship between the environment and quality of life issues.”

****** is the third William and Mary student to have committed suicide in 2010. In
April, ****** was found dead inside his car in a Virginia Beach parking lot; and in February, ****** was found dead in her dorm room.

Now, I am posting this neither to sensationalize nor to make light of this tragic pattern; rather, because we are the self-professed purveyors of taking life less seriously, and as there seems to be something rendering the student body of our alma mater unable to do so, perhaps we haven't done enough to market the message of our madness to these undergrads. I mean, in all seriousness . . . what the fuck is going on in Williamsburg these days?

Here's the little I know about William & Mary these days:

- It's harder to get into the school than ever.
- It's harder to stay in the school and graduate than ever.
- W&M professors are as historically cold and tight with grades as they are patently awkward at cocktail parties.
- In-state and out-of-state tuition is rising, so parental pressure to perform is increased.

Meanwhile:

- It's nearly impossible to drink alcohol.
- Greek Life is neutered beyond recognition.
- City ordinances prohibit living situations and gatherings that could be construed as fun.
- The town still offers no distractions -- unless Colonial America and/or archaeology, pancakes, Christmas Mouse, or caddying for crotchety white people (no offense, Danimal) are one's bag.
- Students are brighter and more diligent than ever, ensuring that they are worse athletes with no wild side whatsoever, rendering club sports such as rugby, lacrosse, and Naked Club completely moot.
- The identity of the student body is now affiliated with such things as the homecoming drag queen, Thriller dancing, and, most recently, suicide. School spirit is non-existent.

I guess this is starting to make some sense. Now, with my Sociology degree, of course I am going to mull over the societal factors that are making this continue to happen. As a collective, though, we should be ensuring that if the Gheorghian philosophy isn't making its way to the furthest corners of the world, at the very least it's starting to permeate our old school.


Now back to your regularly scheduled dipshittery.