Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Worst Movie You Ever Saw In The Theater?

Play along in the comments. My choice: Graveyard Shift, an adaptation of a Stephen King story, though I imagine he would like to be as far removed from this poop as possible. It's the story of...giant rats??? Who the F knows...this movie was a debacle from start to finish (close 2nd: Warlock)

70 comments:

T.J. said...

Side note: I was on crutches at the time of viewing this, so depsite this movie sucking balls from scene 1 I was too lazy/crippled to go to another theater.

Andrew said...

House of the Dead. The Debut of Uwe Boll. I don't even need time to think about that.

Michael said...

Hands down: English Patient. only movie that I ever got up and left during the movie. and I have been to some bad movies.

T.J. said...

You sure have...

T.J. said...

It's funny, I actually walked out of L.A. Story (only movie I ever did)...but Graveyard Shift is still worse.

Michael said...

And I meant "The English Patient", not the porn title "Hands Down the English Patient"

rob said...

flat-footed tie between 'showgirls' and 'highlander 2: the quickening'. the latter was more disappointing because expectations were high.

mayhugh said...

Saving Silverman. Biggs after his American Pie Debut, Steve Zahn, I thought it would be good times. It was not.

Squeaky said...

Gone with the Wind. I want my two nickels back.

rob said...

skins are working out jamarcus russell today. this is not, apparently, a joke. at least not an intentional one.

lovely day this is going to be: republican landslide, jamarcus, and if we're really, really lucky, the skins'll get randy moss, too.

i, for one, welcome our new tea party overlords. if the democrats can't beat people like sharron angle, they deserve what's coming. we don't, but that's a different topic.

zman said...

I walked out of Wayne's World, only because we got to the movies early so we sat in on a little of it, and went to see Basic Instinct. I was on a date with a young lady of allegedly questionable chastity, and I figured Basic Instinct would be great to set the tone, but I flailed, as usual, and got nothing.

Worst movie I ever saw is a tie between Desperately Seeking Susan and Cool World (which I saw with the best friend of the aforementioned young lady of allegedly questionable chastity, and I managed to confirm the best friend's questionability).

Mark said...

Encino Man. Even in 9th grade I knew that was a terrible movie.

And Mortensen had a good line about the Dkins working out JaMarcus. "Well, they need a tackle too."

T.J. said...

Michael, you know the McRib is back, right?

mayhugh said...

Why do they ever take it away?

Mark said...

Never had a McRib in my life. Never will. And I love ribs...

Danimal said...

i think i gotta go w/the last Jaws 4

Danimal said...

am a little curious as to how the act of going to see showgirls in the theater came about

TR said...

Invisible Man - Bacon and Shue mail it in big time, and Josh Brolin tries really hard (just as painful) b/c he was still "the guy from Goonies" at that point, not Mr. Diane Lane/dude from No Country.

Movie featured lines like ""I think it's time to wake some generals up.". Even the unintentional comedy was weak.

TR said...

Demolition man deserves honorable mention - what a shit sandwich that was.

Greg said...

Hudson Hawk.

Shlara said...

Basketball Diaries. Walked out on a free screening, I hated it that much.

zman said...

I saw Showgirls in Newport News (or some similar city) as a rush event.

Danimal said...

whether in theater or in the comfort of my home, i'm pretty sure i walked out of pearl harbor.

zman said...

Boogie Nights was total crap.

Dennis said...

Transylvania 6-5000. I have no clue how or why i was there; but i was only 8 and still knew I was watching a steaming pile of cow dung.

Dennis said...

Oh and the Teej and I saw SOAP together in the theater along with Michael Jack. Sorry to sell you guys out (I know you have a reputation to uphold here), but I've never been so embarrassed in my life walking out of a theater (or any public place for that matter).

T.J. said...

what's SOAP?

T.J. said...

Hold on. Are you motherfucking badmouthing fucking Snakes on a Plane? Who the fuck do you think you are? Cocksucker mother fucker.

Fuck

I'm done now.

T.J. said...

Who hasn't chimed in yet...Dave and Igor?

Sisler said...

I concur with zman...Cool World.

Danimal said...

they're volunteering at the voting booths

rob said...

igor and i went to see showgirls on the day it opened, over lunch at union station. we were, and remain, fans of the seminal teen dramedy saved by the bell. elizabeth berkley from 'bell' starred in showgirls. we really had no choice but to go see it.

it is a dreadful, dreadful film.

Danimal said...

oh...i've seen it and ditto on the SBB comments...
it is dreadful, but there's a good "i thought you were combing your hair" scene or two if memory serves

Marls said...

Man's Best Friend - Ally Sheedy, a Killer Dog & the guy who played Bishop in Aliens. Based on that, I still can't believe it was terrible.

Greg: Don't mess with Hudson Hawk. Best Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, David Caruso film ever made.

zman said...

So I just watched the video for this post. It features Wormtongue from the second Lord of the Rings movies, the bad prison guard from Shawshank Redemption, and Slick 50's college girlfriend. How can it be bad? I also remember reading Graveyard Shift, it was a short story. Rats become inbred in this mine in Maine and mutate some insect-like qualities, and then the hive attacks miners. I assume the movie maintains the same brilliant storyline.

Geoff said...

House Party 3. I have no excuse. And for the record, I enjoyed Hudson Hawk. Yeah, I was the one.

Dave said...

highlander II. never had my expectations shattered like that. cap nearly had a coronary.

Dave said...

the people under the stairs was also really piss poor.

Dave said...

i also remember getting in to see "basic training" in 1985 with rob and john. some random nudity but really bad. looked it up on imdb, only one of the actors has a picture.

TR said...

CNN appears to have 40 people in their studio, sprawled all over a few different tables.

T.J. said...

Michael Steele's sweaty dome in HD...fail.

TR said...

Michael Steele...he's no Lexington Steele.

T.J. said...

There were less people on the bridge of the Enterprise than there are on this CNN set.

TR said...

Rand Paul is a shockingly bad public speaker. Then again, he is speaking to people in Kentucky.

T.J. said...

Rand Paul is the Tea Party's JFK, isn't he?

T.J. said...

TR, he really wants the Senate to deliberate, huh?

T.J. said...

I've just been told someone named Rubio (not Ricky) is the Tea Party JFK.

rob said...

the next two years are going to be a glorious clusterfuck - rational party in 2012

T.J. said...

wolf Blitzer is rock hard predicting this House switchover...I can't wait for Carville's take.

TR said...

Rubio is the Right's Obama, a well spoken, young minority.

And everybody knew the House was going Red. No big news there, Wolfie.

T.J. said...

The new WV senator is Herman Munster?

Danimal said...

An odd set up at CNN...should have just kept of to half of them...couldn't watch anymore....TOOMANY!!!! as the phillipino blackjack dealer says....

T.J. said...

Not for nothing, but I'd did some dirty things to Rand Paul's wife.

TR said...

How many "how can I help" calls do you think Jindal made to Steele and Boehener over the last few months that went unanswered?

TR said...

Mrs. Marco Rubio looking muy bella...

Danimal said...

Someone wake me up if Reid loses....

Danimal said...

I figured that was his sister.

rob said...

damn, alvin greene's posting 30% in south carolina. that's pretty impressive for a candidate as absurd as him. we'll need to revisit our palmetto state electoral feature soon.

rob said...

teej, how much did you contribute to the 'yes on 19' folks in california?

zman said...

Paladino's concession speech is atrocious. He keeps stopping and waiting for applause but doesn't really get any.

zman said...

And Jimmy McMillan really appeared on my ballot under "The Rent is 2 Damn High" party.

zman said...

"43% of the people of NY sent a message to Albany!"

And that's why you're the loser.

Geoff said...

Jon Runyan is a United States Congressman. I expect him to do as well as a congressman as I would starting at tackle for the Eagles.

T.J. said...

Excellent. Day after election day and Buzz has returned to Twitter. Good times.

And Randy Moss is the biggest cockguzzler on the planet.

Igor said...

Way late to the post on worst theater-movies, but I'll echo Rob's Showgirls nomination, as well as Dave's mention of The People Under the Stairs. The latter was especially egregious because a couple other fratres were headed to see The Fisher King, a highly touted film which I've not seen to this day. Dave and I broke away from the pack to go see TPUTS, which did have some unintentional comedy (some unexplained S&M garb, and lines like "you can't jump into the pond, my dad just drained it and filled it with broken glass") but was just terrible.

I nearly walked out of Natural Born Killers, but let's face it, I had nothing better to do, and getting our of those movie seats can be a chore for a man of my girth.

Squeaky said...

Buzz is on fire this morning.

Geoff said...

Buzz has an interesting take on Rand Paul...I didn't know you could put a dildo in such places.

zman said...

Mitt Romney thinks that "Government is a greater threat to America in 2010 than China was in 1972."

Squeaky said...

Bill Clinton likes rap and can't wait for Lil Wayne to get out of prison.

And for TJ, McRib mentioned.

Screw the href.
http://youtu.be/A4C3WTv9EQc

Shlara said...

Can't believe that Sean from the Real World Boston is actually going to be a member of Congress