Saturday, October 30, 2010

Happy Cockatoo Party Saturday



Oh, it's CockTAIL party? My bad.

139 comments:

rob said...

the tribe's only getting 20 points from carolina in chapel hill. respect, bitches.

T.J. said...

The only black people at this Rally for Sanity/Fear appear to be on stage.

Danimal said...

are you there the teej?

T.J. said...

Nah. To lazy.

T.J. said...

There seem to be a lot of fucking people there...

mayhugh said...

Miami. Wow.

rob said...

hope you guys caught the recent sports illy article on the okc thunder. i was already predisposed to like them because of kevin durant, but now i've developed a little bit of a mancrush.

Mark said...

Just read that article a couple days ago. Love Durant. Love him.

For the first time in 5 years, I have absolutely no idea what to expect from the Florida football team. Except for crappy uniforms (Nike Pro Combat today...ugh). I'm impossibly nervous for this game.

Meanwhile, Miami won't die and Tennessee-South Carolina is way more entertaining than it has any right to be.

Mark said...

On the way home from lunhc, I suggested to the future wife that we stop at one of our local watering holes for a beer and a shot in honor of the cocktail party. She immediately and heartily agreed (love that lady). Whilst sitting outside enjoying our beverages, our bartender (a girl we know both as bartender and a local) went inside and was inside for an abnormal amount of time. When she reappeared, she came back to speak to us. She had a copious amount of coke showing inside her right nostril. Future wife spotted it before I did and pointed it out to me. Pretty awesome when you're doing blow at work at 3 in the afternoon. I feel much better about my day drinking now.

Mark said...

Switched up game day shirts today. Need to change the momentum for this one. Fuck me. I have no confidence in this team.

zman said...

I'm waiting for the Penthouse Forum-esque ending to the story with the coked-up bartender.

Danimal said...

am okay now. sitting down. drinking a strongbow. yes, a cider. you got a problem with that?
the teej - there must be 8-9,000 people at that rally, easily.
wow - miami lost to uva. that's really sad.

Danimal said...

nebraska taking mizzou to woodshet...23-0

Danimal said...

wrens up on heels 6-0 in the 2nd.
the caa - sec of the fcs

rob said...

those gator unis aren't terrible. aren't great, either.

lots of pretenders getting exposed today. chip kelly better have his boys ready.

Shlara said...

Love Durant. Love Sam Presti. Don't love that the owner screwed Seattle

rob said...

hi shlara!

rob said...

17-7 tribe at the half

zman said...

Did Chrissie Hynde expose herself?

rob said...

more woodshedding: duke up 24-0 on navy at the half

Danimal said...

you just stole my line. how does that happen? my betting season may be ending today. declan - please fetch daddy a drank.

mayhugh said...

Is the Tribe game on anywhere? Can't find it.

I'm liking JMU beating UMASS.

rob said...

that duke score is inexplicable, danimal. devils defense is dreadful, navy offense has been rolling.

Danimal said...

nd ranked #1 for grad rate in 2010. the school i didn't go to has that going for them.

rob said...

is there anything more predictable than jimmye calling a draw on 3rd and 7?

mayhugh said...

Grimes questionable to return? Mayhugh no like.

mayhugh said...

UNC just missed a 37-yarder. Pretty good stand by the D.

Jerry said...

The old "we're much bigger than them" drive from UNC. An unfortunate staple of the 1-A matchups. We're going to need at least one more break to win this one.

Jerry said...

Offense needs a couple 1st downs to give the D a blow. That drive must have been almost 20 plays.

rob said...

yup

mayhugh said...

Meanwhile, the Irish are about to give their game away.

Jerry said...

I sure hope we're holding out all these injured guys out for precautionary reasons. This game could be a real disaster otherwise.

Danimal said...

yeah. jmu too. sometimes i wish i never knew college football existed.

mayhugh said...

Shit.

rob said...

yup

Jerry said...

Courtland Marriner definitely can't block Bruce Carter.

Mark said...

This game feels like a heartbreaking 2nd half collapse for Florida. Just sayin.

T.J. said...

ESPNews showing Tribe game...findal 40 seconds, UNC up 21-17.

Jerry said...

Great performance from the boys, but it could be tough to bounce back from such a physical game.

TR said...

This Florida-UGA OT game is pretty ridiculous. The INT return goes 90 yards, but falls a foot short.

I had no idea you could return an INT in OT and win the game.

TR said...

Urban Meyer not afraid to do some Tracy Wolfson touching in the post-game interview on the field. Can't blame him. I would touch her in a number of ways.

Mark said...

Oh. My. God. I aged 15 years in the last 2 hours. I'll take it but fuck me are my nerves shot.

Mark said...

Urban is going to have hot sex with Wolfson in the middle of the (former) Gator football. And I don't blame him. She's hot and that was a terribly stressful win. I'll take it.

TR said...

I know it's probably not on anybody's radar at the moment, but Knicks-Blazers is about to tip off. Home opener for the Knicks. Amare is loving the spotlight and took the mic to thank the crowd.

And they just trotted out Michael Buffer in a tux to say "it's time to turn the chapter to a new page." Add a little "Right Now" from Van Hagar and I'm officially invested.

Buffer has had some work done. But he's not afraid to yell "Let's get ready for roundball!" Awful and awesome all at once. The real question is when we'll get our shot of Matthew Modine in the stands.

TR said...

"Standing 7 feet 1, from Russia with love, Tiiimmmmofeeeeey Mooooozzzzzgooooovvvv!"

I am LOVING the Michael Buffer cameo.

Danimal said...

i may have to switch to nba. 10 more months 'til start of the football season.

Danimal said...

don't even feel like drinking right now. danimal needs a hug.
congrats on your victory mark. bastard.

TR said...

Danimal - on a scale of 1 to 10, how bummed would you be if the drumroll to can Kelly in the wake of the kid's death picked up steam?

Danimal said...

10
coincidentally, am sitting here reading articles on that. awful. and depressing already. swarbrick the a.d. was actually at the practice too. i hope i'm wrong but i don't think b.k. getting canned is likely. but if steam does pick up, swarbrick's presence at the practice might be his life jacket.

rob said...

is it cool to wish a loss and bodily harm on lane kiffin?

Danimal said...

yes. nothing serious though - ya know, sprained knee, dislocated shoulder, torn calf muscle...one of those

Danimal said...

and auburn is goiong to put 60-some on the board

rob said...

torn calf muscle, that's a motherfucker

rob said...

josh hamilton is a bad man

Mark said...

It's totally cool Rob. I do it every night before I go to bed. In lieu of prayers.

Coincidentally, I don't feel like drinking either. I'm going to though. It's the only way my nerves can recover after this game. Liquor is on the menu. Beer ain't cutting it any more. Unbelievable us an overused word these days but that game was pretty close to it. I am positively fried and guaranteed to be drunk at the Halloween street party I'm heading to in a bit (going as John McLain from Die Hard).

One last thing, Janoris Jenkins is fan-fucking-tastic.

TR said...

I missed the first half of Florida-UGA, but feel like I got my money's worth in the last 30+ minutes.

It's too early (and unfair to some teams to say this), but I'm totally fine with watching Auburn and Oregon go at it in the BCS Championship. Sorry to Boise, Utah and TCU.

rob said...

i am not at all fine with watching auburn play for the national championship. you watch your mouth, young man.

Danimal said...

the overhead they just showed of traffic heading into l.a. looked like traffic heading out of d.c., towards dewey, on the friday of memorial day. on a saturday night at 6:00, , , i like commas,

Mark said...

Auburn's D is terrible. I can't see them playing the the BCS Championship game. I'd gladly watch them and Oregon trade TDs in said game though...

Danimal said...

i think you mean, turrible

rob said...

w is a much better pitcher than obama

T.J. said...

Whatever Colby Lewis learned in Japan, well, it was ninja-esque.

rob said...

sick, sick touchdown catch for the ducks

Danimal said...

nutty catch

T.J. said...

I am quite the jinx.

T.J. said...

In the old John Elway's QB Nintendo game, you could call a reverse (I think) and the WR was so fast he could outrun the defense so bad you could literally circle them.

I feel like that's Oregon's offense.

Danimal said...

richie rod in a hole in jopaville.
lookin like he'll go somewhere between 6-6 and 8-4, likely 7-5. will he have a job if 7-5?

rob said...

i hope not

TR said...

Wilson Chandler is the tits this year. He's at 22 pts and 13 rebs and we're still in the third quarter. He averaged 20.5/7 through his first two.

rob said...

if anyone sees a jeremy lin jersey, grab it for me

T.J. said...

Even their punt returns are scintillating.

rob said...

who else is fired up for the harry potter movie?

T.J. said...

You might want to cover someone, anyone...

Danimal said...

quack quack.

rob said...

excellent use of scintillating, teej

TR said...

Hoegaarden is great...but not when you spill it on a book your son's pre-school teacher loaned you. No way this book won't stink of Belgian beer now. The wife is less than excited at this turn of events.

TR said...

Rob - I am fired up for the Potter flick, and I'm not being remotely sarcastic. I read all the books. This flick is looking pretty bad-ass.

TR said...

And I think Emma Watson is now legal. Barely so (my favorite kind of legal).

T.J. said...

Can we get Oregon more possesions please? Thank you.

Danimal said...

hoegaaaarden is my bbf
at least it wasn't a kindle
just spill coke on it - duh
the liquid kind

TR said...

Isn't BBF a reference to fat ladies in personal ads?

Danimal said...

maybe

rob said...

tr, i'm not kidding, either. i read all the books once by myself, then with my oldest daughter. we're halfway through the deathly hallows - our rule is we have to finish a book before she can see the movie.

also, emma watson. meow.

TR said...

I am fired up to do shit like read Harry Potter and Lion, Witch & Wardrobe with my kids when they're older. I have a buddy who blew through the Star Wars flicks with his 7 year-old kids recently. He loved getting into it again through their eyes.


Last Hoegaarden soldier down after bleeding on Corduroy Lost and Found. Hello Johnny Walker, glad you could join us.

Danimal said...

well, i wrongly predicted a couple of weeks ago that oregon would lose one...i think i was wrong.
saw 'em play at asu and they just didn't look good - they won by 11 or 12 and asu had 7 turnovers.

on the cheerleading front, oregon sent a traveling squad of their finest...they were in front of us. no one can match them either.

Danimal said...

am on the burrrben right now, but the schcotch / whiskey thought is also...schintillating

rob said...

teej, is mike london a coaches inc guy?

rob said...

what's your bourbon of choice, danimal-train?

Danimal said...

maker's...but court many
woodford reserve
and the standby jack d for mixing & volume
someone poured me a jim beam and ginger recently...which was the college bourbon. wow, is that bad.

Mark said...

Oh man...a little too much Harry Potter love for my taste tonight. Then again, I don't have kids...that I claim.

I would like to watch the Star Wars flicks with my bastard children though.

Oregon's offense is OKC Thunder level fun to watch.

As for Z's request for the end of the coke/bartender story, I had to get home for the Gator game. She was dressed as a slutty witch though. A slutty, coke whore witch, obviously. I assume she banged a couple dudes in the bathroom or on top of the Jagermeister machine though.

TR said...

I love Brent doing play-by-play, but I think Herbie would be best suited as 1 of 2 color guys. The many good things he says get diluted in the nonsense he spews when he feels he needs to fill dead air.

rob said...

that's all z needed, mark

and i'm partial to booker's, danimal

Mark said...

Have I mentioned how unbelievably stressful today's Gator game was? Yeah, well, it was a fucking mission. Crown is just now starting to settle my nerves.

Uh oh, USC ain't dead yet.

TR said...

I would love to see the Trojans make a real game of this.

Mark said...

Game. On.

T.J. said...

Trevor Booker is a hardworker on the boards.

rob said...

got himself a single tonight

Danimal said...

never had the booker's...will give it a shot. don't do a lot of sippin bourbon - usually mixing with a couple of splashes. would be sinful to mix a booker's

jw black/blue/jameson/black bush - those are my sippers

erin andrews looks purple

rob said...

i kinda like scarf season, erin-style

TR said...

Thank you, football gods, for giving me a ball game in about 5 minutes.

rob said...

don't mix much with bourbon any more. maybe a mint julep on derby day, otherwise it's a sipping drank.

T.J. said...

Utah/Air Force also very good...

TR said...

And for that Trojan field position, plus a penalty.

New over/under bet would have to be at least 95 points, right?

Danimal said...

herby's going to have that scarf around his neck later on

Mark said...

I want to dislike Matt Barkley. He makes it hard though. Kid's pretty good.

rob said...

oregon losing their poise. quacking up, if you will.

again, my bad.

Danimal said...

i need utah to cover to go a stellat 1-4 today. anyone near a western union?

TR said...

Don't go for two, Kiffin.

T.J. said...

Oregon and their dumb Hawkman costumes can suck it.

Wait, am I rooting for a Lane Kiffin team? Conundrum.

rob said...

just 'cause it worked doesn't make it smart

TR said...

They got the 2, but it was still dumb. No way to know when/if you'll need the two when there will be at least 3 more TDs scored by each time.

T.J. said...

Black bush joke from zman in 3...2...

Mark said...

Kiffin goes for 2 all the time. With no regard for whether or not it makes sense. I think it's because he likes being a dick. He's so Tampa.

Mark said...

By the way, Chris Rainey can stalk whoever he wants via text message as far as I'm concerned.

Time to die...

Danimal said...

i can't believe it hasn't happened by now, the black bush that is

rob said...

andrew luck to jake locker: 'dude, sorry about that. you can borrow some of my signing bonus if you need it'

TR said...

Herbie says clean hit when replay shows helmet-to-helmet.

rob said...

that reminds me of one of my favorite unrepeatable stories, danimal. lynch, of course, was involved.

Mark said...

Thanks Rob. I am really enjoying Locker's free fall. Kiper/McShay blew him all offseason when he was a 50% passer during his career (with a sub .500 record). I never thought Tebow was a top flight NFL prospect but I couldnt figure out why Locker was billed as one. He's a big time athlete but I've never seen what makes him a big time QB prospect.

rob said...

how does maehl get that open?

TR said...

Air Force has ball, down 5, with 3 minutes left.

Danimal said...

unrepeatable it is. and a good one.

"boy eats girl" is on 257, direct tv. unfortunately that's not a porn channel

and of course utah misses the field goal, making it quite likely i go 0-5. good times.

Danimal said...

i want this to go down to the wire, but i think oregon breaks out its can of whoop ass here

rob said...

baylor bears! somewhere, grant teaff rolled off a hooker and smiled

rob said...

ah, the obligatory white guy 'gym rat' reference

TR said...

Was Chris Mullin the original white "gym rat?"

Danimal said...

michigan w/in 8...how'd that happen? oh. robinson.

Danimal said...

that's a bullshit call

zman said...

The zwoman has eagerly anticipated Jon Hamm's turn on SNL tonight, to the point that it makes me a little uncomfortable, so I jokingly told her today that he canceled and she believed me for an instant, then realized I was kidding, then got pissed. T minus 7 minutes to Hamm.

Mark said...

In case you missed it missed it, Texas lost again tonight...to Baylor. Baylor is 7-2. Texas is 4-4. Will Muschamp is licking his chops.

Mark said...

The Ewoman (her name begins with an E) revealed to me that she loves Jon Hamm recently. It changed my view on Mad Men. Whatever. She's a dirty WOP

Mark said...

Happy Halloween bitches. I'm fixing to haunt the shit out of my neighborhood. And by that I mean...get more drunk and vandalize some shit.

Squeaky said...

Got a FF question for you. Which crappy QB should I start this week Orton or Rogers?

I think I might have the worst FF team.

T.J. said...

The rest of your team must blow, because fantasy-wise those two QBs have had good seasons (Orton moreso than Rodgers** obviously). I'd start Orton, in London, against a 49ers defense that has looked putrid. Rodgers (with a "d", Squeaks) faces the Jets defense today, in the new meadowlands.

**He is my fantasy QB, and I either have to start him or McNabb today. Ugh.

T.J. said...

And while we're here...do I take the Chiefs (home vs. Bills) or Jets (home vs. Pack) in my Survivor Pool this week?

Squeaky said...

Oh, that damn "d" thing. Had too many of those in college. So I shy away from them now.

Got another one for you, TJ.

Donald Brown IND or Bran'd'on Jackson GB?

Maybe I should just let you or G:TB run my FF team for the rest of the season.

Squeaky said...

Chefs!!!







I know I left the "i" out.

T.J. said...

As long as Donald Brown is healthy, and I think I read he will play, start him. Jackson is on the GB offense facing the Jets. bad times.

rob said...

we need a rally to restore coverage of every nfl player not named favre. holy fuck, espn.