In the spirit of the times, and our scattered consciousness, a few items to keep you entertained in the lead-up to the big game. Sort of a Gheorghasbord-style preview.

Over at Sentence of Dave, the proprietor recently recounted the stories of a misspent summer, specifically the abject squalor in which the residents of a certain house in Nags Head lived. I recommend it to you as a lesson in young male inertia and a mark of how far some of us have come. No comment on how far we still have to go.
Obviously, we can't go too long without mentioning Tribe hoops, even while ostensibly focusing on football. FOGTB Fairbank passed along a note from his former colleague David Teel, who noted that W&M is currently making better than 50% of its field goals, 45% of its three-pointers, and 80% of its free throws. No team in the history of college basketball has ever finished with a 50/45/80 line. We're beyond plaid.
I consumed a shit-ton of Best of 2017 in music content over the holidays, and I was heartened to see KCMP (The Current) out of Minneapolis agree with me about the song of the year. Even more heartened to know that I'll get to see Jason Isbell play it live in Richmond in a few short weeks.
It's been widely noted that Nick Saban's never lost a game to a former assistant, going 11-0 against his prior underlings. It's fair to say that Kirby Smart's Georgia team represents the best squad any former Saban assistant has ever brought to a contest against the master. But come on. Do we really think a guy named Kirby, with that haircut, is going to beat Saban? (Spoiler alert: we don't.)
Says here that Alabama wins, and fairly easily. Say, 24-13.
Happy Birthday, Elvis.
ReplyDeleteI agree with rob--it's entirely possible, and in fact it's probably entirely likely, that a wildly successful entertainer/businessperson is not qualified to be President no matter how smart, kind, insightful, wise, or wonderful they are. Governing is hard. I can't imagine anyone is ready to govern the free world when they haven't governed anything before.
ReplyDeleteThis seems so obvious a point, and yet DJT is our President. A firm understanding of government, the Constitution, what the Executive branch can and can't do, domestic and foreign policy, and so much more should be a prerequisite. It's part of why the #1 occupation (by a landslide) for US presidents is lawyer, not "businessman" or "reality TV host."
ReplyDeleteWhy not have a presidential Wonderlic? Anyone with a Twitter account can proclaim their own would-be genius to the world. How about a metric?
From there a required amount of passed coursework (not UNC-style) on government. Duping the masses isn't enough any more. Earn the damn office.
Go get 'em Abe!
ReplyDeleteBaldwin - Affleck - Oprah - who else? Joy Behar?
And who on the R side? I can't think of anyone that would come from outside of the political scene.
And Z - can you shed some light on the Buffalo Bills' "Mafia" and their contempt for tables? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there's a Lewinsky joke to be made in response to Whit's presidential Wonderlic idea but I'm too mature for that.
ReplyDeleteI think Mark Cuban would run as an R.
I think the table thing stems from various drunken parking lot videos where people bodyslam each other onto tables. Then it became a one-man-table-wrestling thing and went further downhill from there.
Car update--brought home a Subaru Outback today from Reynolds. New. 0% financing seemed worth taking advantage of, so we did. We hope that was smart. Got my wagon, so I'm happy!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice!!
ReplyDeleteYou literally cannot beat 0% financing, at least in the US. Congrats on a smart purchase! What color is your Sube?
ReplyDeletereynolds is giving away free money? where do we sign up for that?
ReplyDeleteI wish free money! But we are pleased. It's twilight blue.
ReplyDeleteThey had a $90,000 Caddy in the showroom. 90K.
ReplyDeletejalen’s inaccuracy...hurts
ReplyDeleteI was never a big Sony Michel fan until Genoa packed on 15-20 lbs of muscle this offseason and somehow got faster. Impressive balance and footwork by him on that last play.
ReplyDeletehe cornered like a damn ferrari
ReplyDeleteRob- I believe you know how I feel about Hurts. Great leader, good runner. An average passer at best. He’s primarily the reason I haven’t bought Bama as much the past two years. He severely limits that offense.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn’t be shocked if Tua Tagavola pushes him for the QB job next year.
yeah, i generally like him, but his inaccuracy is a huge limitation. that was a bad miss to ridley.
ReplyDeleteDay 8. Dry January.
ReplyDeleteLove my sube from reynolds, which is unfortunately in the shop after my mishap with a deer. Donna, you will not regret your purchase.
ReplyDeleteTried 5 minutes of coaches film room. That was plenty.
ReplyDeleteAnd how about Jesse Palmer? Guy is everywhere, including a baking show on Food Network that my kids watch.
Ridley is a monster and he has pretty pedestrian stats. Due in large pet to Hurts’ limitations as a passer. Hurts also isn’t the kind of freaky athlete that can destroy good defenses running the ball.
ReplyDeletehurts giveth, and hurts holds on to the ball to longeth
ReplyDeleteI wasn’t all that impressed with Fromm early in the year. Thought he benefited greatly from his run game and the defense. He’s been very impressive over the second half of the season. And on another level tonight.
ReplyDeletetide is in trouble, with a capital t and that rhymes with pee and where’s the pee pee tape?
ReplyDeleteThis Pinhook rye though.
ReplyDeleteNothing screams "SEC country" more than Kendrick Lamar and a Black Panther preview.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is not a Kendrick Lamar fan.
ReplyDeleteI would be more pumped for Black Panther if there hadn’t been 20 comic book movies in the last five years.
ReplyDeleteWhen is Vinny Chase’s Aqua Man coming out?
Which is surprising given her Kendrick Perkins tattoo.
ReplyDeleteSaban pulled Hurts for Tua? WOW.
ReplyDeleteTagovailoa doesn't look old enough to get into a movie with nudity.
ReplyDeleteDon’t be mistaken, Z. Atlanta is its own entity. Georgia exists outside its city limits.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on a script for a Groo the Wanderer movie. Marls is set to star.
ReplyDeleteI love Kendrick but fully understand that he’s not for everyone. Even big rap fans. He’s a dope live performer though.
ReplyDeleteFor sure Mark. But I bet lots of old Bama and UGa alums are completely flummoxed by that halftime show.
ReplyDeleteI’m now fascinated by the idea of a Kendrick Perkins tattoo. I’m quickly running out of room but...
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Z. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Kendrick’s halftime performance wasn’t in the stadium.
ReplyDeleteI'd go with Sam Perkins and "Big Smooth" underneath but I'm a UNC fan so what do I know.
ReplyDeleteSoooo lucky by Tua the Tugboat
ReplyDeleteBama is a completely different team with Tua. It’s striking. Bama is going to win.
ReplyDeleteSo Jalen Hurts is gonna transfer, right?
ReplyDeleteThat was.....impressive. And fun.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a freshman I hung out in TR's room and listened to Phish and Pink Floyd. Tua's a pimp.
ReplyDeleteJust got way more interesting.
ReplyDeleteJalen Hurts, 25-2 with a year left, may not play again.
ReplyDeleteZ, you gotta go to Pink Talking Fish.
ReplyDeleteLast name of Bama’s LT is Leatherwood. Sounds like a porn surname.
ReplyDeleteHurts's draft status got majorly screwed.
ReplyDeleteLeatherwood is no Tarbox.
ReplyDeleteBoth of these offenses are better than the Jags or Bills.
ReplyDeleteThat's an amazing throw and catch.
ReplyDeleteLook at the big balls on Jake.
ReplyDeleteI’m still one the wagon w/ you Danimal. Sucks a bunch. I had 30-mins train delays each way today. That and the game make me thirsty.
ReplyDeleteHardman: also a porn name.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly is happening on the GA sideline?
ReplyDeleteMike Gundy = Barry Melrose
ReplyDeleteThe coaches channel is like a sad bar scene.
ReplyDeleteRaekwon!
ReplyDeleteThis second half is as entertaining as most of the first half was boring.
ReplyDeleteTua has got a gun. It’s effortless on those deep throws.
ReplyDeleteNeither highly touted sophomore QB that began the season as starters for the two teams playing in the national championship game will finish the season on the first team. That’s highly unusual.
ReplyDeleteYes TR, difficult indeed, especially w Zperson baiting me with rye speak.
ReplyDeleteDman, it's so good. Just a hint of vanilla and it makes you happy. Fuck the wagon.
ReplyDeleteIs Squeaky rooting for Fromm?
ReplyDeleteFuck the wagon.
ReplyDeleteHim and Gerald Ford.
ReplyDeleteI looked it up. They have it at a new restaurant that just opened near us so will check it out.
ReplyDeleteDid somebody say wagon?
ReplyDeleteIs Raekwon Davis an NFL prospect? He appears to be only built for Cuban links.
ReplyDeleteWent to dinner and saw a buddy of mine who’s on the January wagon celebrating his birthday with family. Had the waiter bring him a birthday drink. Wagon lost its wheel tonight.
ReplyDeleteI switched to the ESPN "megacast" for a few minutes
ReplyDeleteIt's a hot mess.
There's a graphic in that video salad labeled "ESPN Voices"
This has to be ESPN's attempt to simulate schizophrenia
Can't believe Beck sold out for Nissan. Subaru, sure, but Nissan?
ReplyDeleteYes he is, Z. He’s a fucking monster. When he gets to the the NFL they’ll be two Raekwons in the league. We can get to double digits. I believe in America.
ReplyDeleteMark in 2020.
ReplyDeleteFuck Vince Dooley. Forever and ever and ever.
ReplyDeleteAlabama has a Raekwon and and Anfernee starting in defense. Making it real hard for me to hate them.
ReplyDeleteRob hasn’t commented since halftime. Did he give up and fall asleep? That would be a mistake.
ReplyDeleteThey need a Phife.
ReplyDeleteMoprah.
ReplyDeleteRob was sleepy peepers!
Pity this game is such a snoozer.
ReplyDeleteTua is, indeed, a pimp. That motherfucker is cool.
ReplyDeleteTua nice.
ReplyDeleteThe arm strength on that throw too. Boy oh boy.
ReplyDeleteAlabama never needed an awesome QB. And now they, seemingly, have one. Saban made the greatest deal with the devil anyone has ever made.
ReplyDeleteGeorgia D folding like a cheap suit
ReplyDeleteBama's kicker was involved in the Russia/Trump collusion?
ReplyDelete5 bucks says he misses the kick.
ReplyDeleteYou’re on, Danimal
ReplyDelete5 buck marstens?
ReplyDeleteWhoa. I owe you 5, D.
ReplyDeleteBoner would've made that kick.
ReplyDeleteHe shanked the motherfucking shit out of it!!!
ReplyDeleteBama is great at damn near everything but they cannot get a consistent kicking game and it’s slays me.
Satan: “fuck me”
ReplyDeleteSaban, Satan, same thing.
ReplyDeleteSeriously... is Rob asleep?????
ReplyDeleteCorrect Mark, and why I thought they’d be more aggressive at the end. Sad.
ReplyDeletePapanastos....potential gyro!
ReplyDeleteI wish my nickname was Hot Rod.
ReplyDeleteThe Georgia kicker wears glasses
ReplyDeleteI love everything about that
TUA!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA fucking legend in a half of football. Wow.
Wow. Onions.
ReplyDeleteI love that Sabah is a massive dick. "I'll ask the questions."
ReplyDeleteIs there a reason ESPN has not show a single replay of the game winning score?
ReplyDeleteTua saw Bull Durham.
ReplyDeleteJalen Hurts is a tremendous guy.
ReplyDeletethere you go Whit. Is 10x enough? How ‘bout 11?
ReplyDeleteProps to the call...damn.
I hate Alabama but that was like a friday night Lights scripted episode—I loved it
ReplyDeleteHurts did some legend making as well tonight.
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty incredible. Rob will deeply regret being asleep.
ReplyDeleteG’night everybody.
ReplyDeleteRob....you still sleepin?
ReplyDeleteNow Groo do what Groo do best.
ReplyDeletewho won?
ReplyDeletefull disclosure, i punched out after tua threw that weird interception mid-way through the third quarter. also full disclosure, there was very little chance of me making it up much later than that, regardless of what was happening on the field. team rob has been fighting some nasty flu/virus thing and we're all dragging ass.
ReplyDeleteSAD!
ReplyDeleteAccording to this silly exercise, the Bullets/Wizards franchise all-time starting five would be:
ReplyDeleteGilbert Arenas-John Wall-Elvin Hayes-Gus Johnson-Wes Unseld
6th Man: Juwan Howard
Hayes and Unseld lead the Bullets/Wizards on a team that lacks any sort of identity. John Wall is a terrific young player, and there was a point in the mid 2000’s when Gilbert Arenas was making a strong case as the best player (offensively) in the league, but under the circumstances, it’s a bit of an underwhelming backcourt when compared to other teams. They would be fantastic defensively, but Arenas is the only reliable scoring option, and anytime Gilbert Arenas is your most reliable anything, you’re in some serious trouble.
No Gheorghe???
no earl monroe? no bobby dandridge? no muggsy bogues?
ReplyDeleteEarl the Pearl is on the Knicks' 5, and Muggsy is the Hornets' 6th Man. I guess there are no duplications, which explains why Shaq isn't listed on the Magic's all-time 5.
ReplyDeleteAny list that leaves Jim Morrison off of the Hornets' top five is obviously bogus.
ReplyDeletehttps://joneski.bandcamp.com/track/charlotte-hornets-jersey