Monday, January 22, 2018

You Had Me at "Fecal Deluge"

Bloomberg reporter Devin Leonard put out a very good article a couple weeks ago on the decrepit (and decaying!) cesspool that is New York Penn Station. I wanted to share it with you all, considering some of us still do or used to navigate through that area. The article link is here.

It is a long read, but an entertaining one. Mr. Leonard adds some flair to his prose, instead of sticking to straight-laced reporting, which makes it more fun to read. I wish he had pushed the envelope more, to be honest, and added a true Hunter Thompson-esque angle to this. He ignored the topics of the homeless crisis, and overlooked the horrendous bathroom conditions (in terms of odor AND the men who linger there for anonymous sexual encounters amidst the stench).


The article is too long to post, but I copied some snippets below. The conditions of this train station and its impact on my daily commute were a big driver of my slow descent into functional alcoholism (joking, but not really), a hole I'm trying to climb out of today. It's why I lugged my family to Dallas in '14 and to Denver in '15 to explore other parts of 'Murica.

With that said, let's get to some of my favorite parcels from Leonard's writing:

All who schlep through the complex are united by a powerful urge to leave.

A few weeks later, a sewage pipe spewed waste onto a heavily trafficked concourse—an honest-to-God shit-storm'I’m like, "Literally, it’s raining in Penn Station,"  recalls Marigo Mihalos, a booking agent from New Jersey who witnessed the fecal deluge on her way to work. 

Penn Station is a debacle reaching across time. Its past is a slow-motion disaster of inaction and canceled reforms, its present an ongoing disgrace. And its future could be truly catastrophic, in the form of a tunnel failure that pinches shut one of the most vital economic arteries in America.

The addition of New Jersey Transit trains in the 1990s was both an economic boon to the region — "I bought a house in Maplewood, N.J., in 1996 so I could ride the new Midtown Direct to work — and the beginning of Penn Station’s transformation from mere malodorous eyesore to Hieronymus Bosch-grade hellhole."

In 2015 the governors of New York and New Jersey agreed to a deal on Gateway: The states would pay half the cost of building new tunnels to Penn, and the Obama administration pledged that the federal government would cover the other half. That year and the next, Donald Trump campaigned as the guy who would rebuild America’s crumbling infrastructure, promising a $1 trillion plan to repair roads, bridges, tunnels, the electrical grid, and more. It was possible to think that Penn Station might be saved. But after Trump was elected, the New York City native dashed those hopes. He eliminated billions in funding for Gateway-related projects in his 2018 budget. And in the waning days of 2017, Trump made it official: His administration would not abide by the Obama-era commitment to pay for half of the new tunnels. 



32 comments:

Marls said...

The “Hieronymus Bosch” comment is apt, with the possible exception of a lack of demons sticking various pointed items in the rectums of commuters.

Danimal said...

Very sad for sure.

Rob - how long you in Whorlando? I ask b/c yours will be there tomorrow for a few nights. It's the annual PGA Sausage Hang. Will be pulling into hotel at roughly 1pm.

zman said...

I take the train into the city maybe once a quarter and every time I thank god that I don't have to do so regularly. It's remarkable that such a high-population-density, high-tax, high-tourism region has such bad transportation options.

Marls said...

Anybody else in an Uber in Atlanta where the driver keeps farting? No? Just me?

zman said...

TR is your uber driver? Atlanta has the worst uber situation of any city I've visited.

rob said...

danimal - will be here through thursday. where are you staying?

Marls said...

The Atlanta airport is a shitshow in general and having to go to the economy lot to meet your car is suboptimal.

However, the scope of people driving for Uber and Lyft in Atlanta makes for some awesome people watching. Old, young, black, white, everybody drives. Nothing better than seeing an elderly white couple get picked up in a lowered Nissan with tinted windows and spinners.

Danimal said...

Hyatt Regency, across from Convention Center. You?

rob said...

hilton bonnet creek not too far from disney springs

zman said...

I got picked up in what is probably the last functional Mercury Montego sedan in North America. They were built in Atlanta so that might explain why it was still running. The driver encouraged me to be careful getting in as there was a large chunk of jagged metal protruding from the door sill. Once she saw where I was going she pulled over and made me get out, asserting "I don't have time to go there."

That's not the only ridiculous Uber story from that Atlanta trip. And by that I don't mean my trip to Atlanta, I mean that particular trip from the hotel to the restaurant (which required three different Ubers before I got there).

Danimal said...

I was recently told about a Mayo doc here in town who upon running into some weather related flight challenges at ATL on his way back from the west, hired an uber driver to take him not to a nearby car rental agency, but all the way to Jacksonville. Cost - over $2,000. He expensed it and it was apparently approved. I'm guessing that was a different driver than Z recently encountered.

Danimal said...

Rob - would be great to connect but unless it is after dinner hours, probably not going to happen. 'tis a shame. A damn shame! You should cab it down to the Hyatt bar one night. I'll buy you a craft beer.

Squeaky said...

Reads ATL uber horror stories, promptly books rental car for next week.

Marls said...

The Real Uber Drivers of Atlanta

Tejus - get on that one.

Whitney said...


ORF Rock tonight at 7. Watch us on YouTube or listen on wodustudios.com

Danimal said...

Nassar kills himself within his first few months in the clink, correct?

In other news related to sick fucks, Bill Cosby to perform tonight in Philly after honoring jazz musician, Tony Williams, whoever that is. Maybe Tony does not receive “News”.

On a positive note, Cosby’s eyesight is back to normal. It’s a miracle.

TR said...

An interesting part of my visit to the ER w/ my kid on Xmas was that the attending orthopedist was a former Olympic gold medalist speed skater. I didn’t get his name at the time b/c I was busy shuttling the other kid around, getting insurance set and figuring out transportation. All I knew was he was at Lake Placid.

Fast forward to tonight. My wife says to me “turns out Declan’s doctor Eric Heiden was famous.” My response was “WHAAAATTTT!?”

Yep. That was his doc. One of only two speed skaters I know. The guy who won five golds in ‘80. A legit Olympic legend. And the wife never told me his name.

TR said...

Here’s his link. Dude has led quite a life. Did the Tour de France post-Olympics for shits and gigs.

https://heidenortho.com/doctors/eric-heiden/

zman said...

That's preposterous. Like everything about that is preposterous

Marls said...

Heiden gets totally overshadowed by the 80 hockey team. If not for the Miracle on Ice, we would talk about home like we do Mark Spitz - that is a lot for two weeks every 4 years.

Whitney said...

TIM, you couldn’t have typed one minute faster?

Whitney said...

And apparently AutoCorrect thinks Tim is an acronym. Like HAL.

Mark said...

I had never heard of Heiden until 7-8 years ago when I watched an old Sportscentury on him. He’s remarkable. It’s wild he’s not a bigger deal for his athletic accomplishments.

Marls said...

TIM9000: What are you doing Dave? Are you posting another episode of The Test, Dave? Please don’t do that Dave.

Dave said...

Hieronymus Bosch! i dragged whitney around belgium to see several Hieronymus Bosch triptychs. if you only take the train once in a while, the byzantine disgust in Penn Station is kind of charming-- but i can't imagine it on a daily basis. the oculus is much cleaner and sci-fi looking (until you go down into the bowels and have to get on a crappy jersey transit train). they wouldn't put up with this crap in finland.

Marls said...

Bummer about Neil Diamond and Parkinson’s.

Fare thee well to the greatest Jewish balladeer of our times.

Somewhere Mike Swint is crying.

TR said...

(but it’s unrelated to Neil)

Whitney said...

I think you mean Norway, Dave.

And in return for the Belgian Bosch horrors, I made Dave learn about James Ensor as a tribute to the They Might Be Giants song.

Hannah Baker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hannah Baker said...

361 Degree Minds

Whitney said...

Hey, Unknown. Post something.

Marls said...

I’m not reading anything if he can’t bother to give the extra 4 degrees.