Manufactured outrage is a cottage industry in Washington, D.C. Our elected officials and their sycophantry expend enormous amounts of energy and money fabricating finely-honed teapot tempests designed to get party bases in full squeal about the other party's treasonous, profligate, or otherwise egregious behavior.
This week, the first couple of music found themselves the target of Republican ire, as rightwing anger was focused on Jay-Z and Beyonce's trip to Cuba. Several Florida lawmakers questioned the Carters' trip to the island nation. As tourist travel to Cuba remains illegal under Federal law, and Jay and B are Obama supporters, eyebrows were raised.
And the worst rap battle in recorded history was launched.
Hova responded in a short, but lyrically tight protest rap, namechecking Bob Dylan, Chief Keef, and President Obama while mocking politicians.
That should have been that, a minor kerfuffle fading into the dustbin of history. But white people don't know how to leave well enough alone, it seems. Especially, and oddly, white people who used to work for George W. Bush.
You're all painfully aware of MC Rove's 'rap' stylings, I assume. (Don't click that link unless you'd like to be horrified.) Karl Rove's MC stylings and accompanying 'dancing' set white people back generations. But Rove wasn't stepping into the ring against one of the greatest rappers of all time.
But Tiny D Day-P was. Former Bush Press Secretary and current Fox News contributor Dana Perino thought it prudent to try to match rhymes with Jay. It went about as well as you might expect:
Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line. And never, ever, ever try to match rhymes with Jay-Z when you're a 42 year-old white lady with less rhythm than a heart attack.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
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Less rhythm than a heart attack!
permission granted to sample that, z. royalty-free.
all those white guys should win oscars for attempting to sincerely compliment her. the one guy said, while laughing hysterically, "that was the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life." that's a sad, unfunny life he had led.
KJ Choi better watch himself. Augusta is hating on the Asians something fierce this weekend.
dave, i meant to comment on that in the post. the circle jerking from the assembled talking heads was arguably worse than the rap.
mark, how far are you from kissimmee? muggle quidditch world cup being held there this weekend.
Just watched that. Weak...too quite weak.
About an hour. Though I try to avoid Kissimmee at all costs. Other than the kick ass Nike outlet that I directed Dave to last year it's a totally unredeemable city.
Dave would be excited here in FL. There is a one-man band, alternating b/w steel drum, acoustic guitar and...wait for it...jazz flute.
Apparently you can work a flute into California Girls. I don't mean that literally.
Excellent band camp quip, TR.
So I just drove across the campus of our alma mater. Checked to see if the men's team was rucking and mauling. They aren't. Instead, the women's rugby team is. In sundresses. It's really funny. Until you get up close. And then it's really frightening. I thought about taking a picture but a scary looking prop shaped girl looked at me with my phone held up and scowled. I scampered back to my car. Yikes.
It's also the weekend when kids who were accepted to W&M visit the campus. On this date 25 years ago, I strolled across William & Mary and pondered my future. And a girl from New Jersey named Melissa was doing the same, but she didn't want to go there, despite her parents' wishes. And then she saw me and said, "Fine, if this school is good enough for Bruce Springsteen, it's good enough for me." True story. And I never hooked up with her. Also true story, just far more believable.
Nine months later, of course, I met a different Melissa from New Jersey. Oh Melissa.
I just watched the video. I hope she was corny on purpose.
She wasn't. Fox News is racist, and yet seems to maintain a heartfelt state of befuddlement for failing to appeal to minorities.
White people suck.
I did not attend the event Whit did b/c I was a wait-list guy. I probably didn't miss much, other than meeting Alyssa Milano, our most famous (and most elusive) celebrity colleague.
Don't forget Blossom and Dominique Wilkins.
Sorry, I meant Gerald Wilkins.
Too bad Blossom didn't attend. She ould've hung out w/ Dr J. Kindred spirits.
Patton Oswalt is pretty bummed out you guys.
Also, what are the odds Rob knew who Chief Keef was? 100-1? 1000-1?
only knew it because i read the story on jay's track, then looked him up. did know who bob dylan was, though.
Good job, white guy.
jazz flute? gerald wilkins? w&m? bruce? rugby? blossom?
wow! this blog is right up my alley! it's like i've been waiting all my life to find this place!
I lived Gerald Wilkins' game. He'd jump, then assess where the basket was and figure out how to shoot it at it. Highly entertaining.
I meant to type "loved," but during my intramural run on the Nicks, that was a good part of my game as well, so I lived it, too.
Clarence, if still in the Burg, meet us at Paul's.
Big day tomorrow for Adam Scott.
Danimal, are you still at Augusta?
Teej, as it turned out I was in the Burg, not Clarence. And I got back home around 3pm. Wish I'd known you'd be there. And that you were going to the College Delly, not Paul's.
And people, take note. I live 45 mins from the Burg. If you go there and are looking for beer-drinking accompiment, call me.
As it is, I am watching an awesome musical performer called Lori Mckenna and she is terrific.
There was a girl at W&M with questionable morals that the Lambos nicknamed Gerald Wilkins. She was African American and her eyes bulged out of her head.
I believe some of our fratres may have known her carnally.
That was the Gerald Wilkins I was talking about.
Just turned on ESPN and am in the middle of a roundtable Baseball Tonight discussion. Ugh. Summer is coming.
w&m baseball 9, jmu 8. suck it, danimal.
Hey, Danimal, suck it sucking it, sucker!!!!!
Hola Los Gheorghies.
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