Friday, March 22, 2013

Me and George

The snarkosphere is in full squawk these past few weeks over a series of pictures released by a hacker allegedly depicting the paintings of George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States and punching bag of elites from both sides of the aisle. In what might pass for self-parody, Gawker calls them 'odd', 'awkward', and 'monstrous-looking'. Various other interweb commentators review Bush's works with tones more often associated with descriptions of the first, halting efforts of modestly talented middle school musicians - half sympathetic, half mocking with faint praise.

To those about to snark, we...say "fuck you".

I'm no fan of Bush the Younger, as you well know. But as one who's dabbled in the acrylic arts, I can say this with certainty: painting is hard as shit. I've completed somewhere around 40 paintings, and I'd be willing to let other human beings see a grand total of one of them. (I'd post a picture here, but I gave it to Clarence, figuring I'd knock off a couple more. I have yet to do so.)

I started painting a few years ago on a whim, and because my daughter showed some talent for art. I took a painting class at a local art studio, one I really enjoyed and not only because I was the only male in a group of 12. But I very quickly realized that I had little talent for representational painting - I could make colors work together, but my understanding of perspective, and shading, and light, and most of the other building blocks of good art is, as it turns out, highly limited. My kid has lapped me, frankly, though I have developed an abstract style I like to call 'slap some colorful shit on a canvas and smear it around'.

There are people in the world like our friend Doug, both gifted and extremely hard workers, who create incomprehensibly beautiful and compelling art from nothing. There are others who are both talented and lucky, with public acclaim and riches to follow. And then there are the countless rest of us, like me and President Bush, who paint because it makes us happy, even though we suck.

So I stand with W, in this perhaps singular case. Go on with your bad self, George. That picture of Barney isn't half bad. Can't wait for our joint show in Kennebunkport. Haters gonna hate, but if you're not gonna grab a brush, and mix some paints, and make an effort, you're just making noise. And none of us have time for noise.

BREAKING NEWS:

I lied above. I have actually allowed real human beings to view THREE of my paintings. One hangs in my dining room, and the other in my office. It's pictured below. Please be kind.


BREAKING NEWS:

I have photographed Rob's painting that resides in our kitchen.  Here it is, and I dig it.  -- Whitney


81 comments:

zman said...

I have time for Bring The Noise.

rob said...

in truth, we've got a lot of time for noise. gtb would cease to exist if we didn't.

T.J. said...

Noise: The Blog

Marls said...

He's no Bob Ross.

Danimal said...

i've taken part in about 2 discussions of any signficance revolving around art (not the person) in the last 42 years. one was last night and it carried over to this morning here at the office. to open up gtb and see this...whoa! in the words of vinnie barbarino.... "isss so weee-id!"

didn't dubya do a painting of himself in the bathtub?

T.J. said...

Mission Accomplished: Bath time.

rob said...

he did, danimal. picture of rub a dubya at the gawker link.

Danimal said...

rob, can you paint the jmu duke dog for me by 4:10 p.m. today?

i'm no art critic, seriously i'm not, but a few of those look pretty decent. the man that lambasts dubya on the gawker page is very mean and needs to get his ass kicked one time. the golf hole is undoubtedly the 12th at augusta - the surroundings, not so much. the house is a little Psycho-ish. i'll give him 2 wmd's out of 4.

T.J. said...

hold on - did Clarence ask me whay I didn't like Tommy Amaker? are there people who actually like Tommy Amaker?

T.J. said...

"i'll give him 2 wmd's out of 4."

/golf clap

rob said...

breaking art news! two previously unknown russells were found. one pictured in the updated post.

T.J. said...

you forgot you put one of your own pictures in your office until just now?

rob said...

um. yes?

T.J. said...

Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe man.

zman said...

rob, that's a picture of a guy in a red anorak skiing down a steep slope, right?

rob said...

it's whatever you want it to be, z. to me, it's a metal basketball hoop in a driving thunderstorm.

T.J. said...

I believe rob painted the final scene in Point Break.

Vaya con dios, brah.

zman said...

I see that after clicking on the photo. You clearly captured a sense of weather-as-motion, be it roostertails of snow or pouring rain.

mayhugh said...

Teej - you beat me on the Bells Beach reference.

Donna said...

Can I just comment here that the Davidson game yesterday was about the biggest let-down ever in watching hoops! We actually almost went to the game, as we were in Lexington for some of the day. Now we're glad we didn't!

Also, wth with Harvard and California winning?!

Finally, I think art is definitively and always in the mind of the beholder...and that "Russell" displayed on this here blog is no dipshittery! Nicely done! I think mostly what I like about it is that it was borne of your desire to do something that is in line with your daughter's interests. He might just have "dad of the year" on you, Mark. Recognizing, of course, my spouse is always "dad of the year" :-)

Enjoy the hoopspalooza...we are! My oldest kid picked teams based on mascots/nicknames and didn't do half bad!
Go Havoc! (love Mr. Smart indeed)

Danimal said...

i think it's mick jagger body surfing, unsuccessfully.

Greg said...

My brother sent this to me. It's a pretty cool short film that some Russians did. It shows like a FPS video game. The MiG graveyard is fantastic.

http://kotaku.com/5991228/this-amazing-first+person-short-film-is-like-mirrors-edge-meets-reservoir-dogs

Shlara said...

Rob--I had no idea you were a painter! And I think the people picking on W's art are just mean--let the man have a hobby!

I have no artistic talent, but that didn't stop me from taking some ceramics classes at the Corcoran College of Art & Design for a few years. I think it was subtitled "pottery for dummies" I was awful, but did manage to throw a handful of nice pots over the years which my mom proudly displays at her house..like a first grader's finger painting project.

T.J. said...

was really hoping Marshall Henderson could get 30 shots minimum up today...don't think he's going to hit that mark

solid 1-8 so far, tho, for Marshall

rob said...

i prefer "painter", shlara

Dave said...

i never paint, as a rule, because i like to imagine that if i did, i would be awesome at it . . . and as longer as i never paint, i'll never disprove this.

i like your painting better than those of james franco (of course, he was painting homoerotic images of half-naked waterpolo players . . .)

zman said...

If I may paraphrase Ron Artest, say "Teaneck."

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/55458/the-imaginary-biographies-of-the-harvard-band

T.J. said...

Marshall Henderson 3-17 from the field so far, 2-10 from three...but Ole Miss now holds a 1-point lead. Good times.

Mark said...

I'm tired of this semi new phenomenon where anybody who makes fun of somebody is 'mean'. Everybody was wrong for picking on Brandon Knight for getting destroyed by DeAndre Jordan because 'at least he tried'. Now we can't pick on George Bush for being a below average painter. Give me a break. Making fun of people is ok. It really is. We're getting soft.

And TJ...I like Tommy Amaker.

zman said...

So it's ok if I make fun of you for wearing a Bob Sura jersey?

rob said...

if bush were trying to sell his paintings or otherwise publicize his art, then he should be fair game. he's not, though, and the people mocking him are doing so simply to drive page views. it's a dick move. let people fly their freak flag, man.

T.J. said...

I was waiting for someone to chime on on Amaker. Even if we disagree.

As to your other point, there are way too many sensitive sallies on the Internet, particularly twitter, lately.

Mark said...

Zman...I don't know how you knew that but...I did once own a Bob sura jersey in my early teens. Not something. I'm particularly proud of. But it's true.

Mark said...

Rob...stop. Is it okay with you if I make fun of Bo Ryan? Or do I have to consider his D3 roots and grant him a pass for his gritty rise to coaching fame?

rob said...

please proceed, mark. bo has earned your mockery.

rob said...

and don't tell me what to do.

T.J. said...

I'm all for more Marshall Hendrson in this tourney.

Mark said...

Fair enough, Rob.

rob said...

the only hoops jersey i've ever owned: gheorghe muresan. boom.

Shlara said...

Students will be living in the Ho House!?!?

http://www.wm.edu/news/stories/2013/hh123.php

zman said...

Pray that the video for this interview becomes available. Red velvet y'all!

http://www.xxlmag.com/news/2013/03/ghostface-killah-let-me-make-a-wu-tang-album/

zman said...

The Sura jersey was an educated guess (I assume most guys our age who played PG and grew up in FL idolized Sura). I figured you would either regretfully admit (as you did) or violently reject ("Fuck FSU!") the proposition.

Danimal said...

am more so a deeck than a bleeding heard senstive type. i love making fun of people. it is fun and i'm really good at it. making fun at one's expense and being cruel are two different things. listen, if it were say someone other than dubya who could astutely defend himself, it probably wouldn't bother me as much. he's helpless though.

Mark said...

Both of my older sisters went to FSU during the Ward-Cassell-Sura years. That team was really good and fun to watch. I was always a Sura fan. Even as an NBA player.

I owned a number of jerseys growing up. I still own two but never wear them. Bird-Indiana State and Maravich-New Orleans Jazz. I'll be breaking out Maravich for Jazz Fest.

rob said...

danimal thinks dubya could astutely defend himself! now *that's* worth mocking.

Clarence said...

Rob, your reading comprehension has been for shit of late.

Danimal said...

thanks clarence.

heading out to watch jmu get ass waxed by IU

rob said...

ah, fuck it.

rob said...

look, i'm trying to watch basketball, follow twitter, read online comments, plan a spring break vacation, and get a plumber to my house. i don't have time for petty shit like 'comprehension'.

rob said...

and work. i should add that i'm trying to work.

'work'.

Clarence said...

Guys, I think Rob has been drinking too much of late.

About fucking time.

Mark said...

My father in law has been in Vegas since Wednesday. He's at a food show. I'm sure he's drinking and gambling plenty. I'm also sure he hasn't set foot in a sportsbook. I doubt he even knows what sporting event is going on currently. What a waste.

rob said...

tell him to put $20 on a wisconsin/new mexico final four parlay for me.

zman said...

Yeah, my Wisconsin-to-the-Elite-Eight pick is not paying dividends.

Clarence said...

JMU has many pocketknives in this here gunfight.

rob said...

hope danimal's somewhere they serve liquor.

Clarence said...

So, not in Victoria, Virginia and other dry counties. Not in church. Not in many workplaces or elementary schools.

I think Danimal is good and drunk.

Mark said...

Not super jazzed about this Kansas State loss.

mayhugh said...

Wisconsin and Syracuse are two teams I always pick wrong. When I have them advancing far, they get knocked out early.

Bush was at best a very unspectacular president, but it seems like making fun of his paintings is just petty.

T.J. said...

Mark, after we watched that shit K State performance last weekend I totally picked against them.

rob said...

atlantic 10 > mountain west. east wins again.

Mark said...

My stance that its okay to make fun of Bush's paintings has nothing to do with him. It's a fucking painting.

I fully support making fun of all adults, excluding the mentally handicapped. Feel free to make fun of me whenever you please.

Clarence said...

Update: See another Rob painting in the post.

rob said...

i don't object to mocking people - mockery of and by friends is one of life's great pleasures, and there are plenty of people who deserve to be mocked. i object to the ubiquitous mock-first culture around us. a shitload of people too afraid or lazy to try something themselves get their kicks by making fun of other people. in the words of chinese democrat axl rose, 'get in the ring, motherfucker'.

man, was that quote mock-worthy.

Mark said...

I like both of Rob'saitings that I've seen. Want to paint one for my house, Rob?

As TJ can attest, we have lots of art in the house and would be happy to have more.

rob said...

gheorghe: the virtual art gallery

Mark said...

I'd agree with that sentiment. To a degree.

Mark said...

For the record, I have a bad feeling about the upcoming Gator game.

zman said...

That's a rather van Gogh image by Roberto.

Mark said...

How about Florida Gulf Coast?

T.J. said...

Hahaha Georgetown

T.J. said...

This is no fluke. These guys are working the Hoyas.

Mark said...

Beat Miami earlier this season. Not bad for a school whose location I didn't know until two weeks ago.

Danimal said...

Here come the hoyas

rob said...

so, um, andy enfield's wife, huh?

Danimal said...

Some pics of her on the intraweb today. Oh emm gee

Mark said...

She is not unattractive. He's going to have a fun night.

Saw the FGCU PG play in high school. Was the PG at Winter Park with Austin Rivers.

Marls said...

EAD G-Town

Mark said...

I guess the bad feeling I had about the Gator game was misplaced. Thanks Georgetown!

Mark said...

Twitter just told me Marshall Henderson is out at a bar right now. I'd buy him a drink.

Clarence said...

Hi, Gheorghies!!