Fun With Math, Alternatively Titled "A Dunce's French Open Final Analysis"

There are 7 rounds in a Grand Slam tennis tournament and 4 Grand Slam events are played each year. Two hundred and nine (209) rounds of Gland Slam tennis have been played since 2004: 196 for 2004 through 2010, and 13 so far this year. Thus the most Grand Slam matches than anyone could play from 2003 through today is 210, including Sunday's French Open Final.

Roger Federer has played in an absolutely staggering 196 Grand Slam matches over this span, going 182-14. To highlight just how preposterous this is, Federer won more Slams (15) since 2004 than he failed to win (14). He went 27-1 in major play twice (twice!): in 2006 and again in 2007. To the best of my knowledge only Rod Laver, after whom my favorite sneakers are named, can lay claim to this same feat (Laver went 28-0 twice, in 1962 and 1969). To say that Federer is the most dominant athlete of his generation in any sport is not an overstatement, although I'm sure golf fans can make a legitimate argument in favor of Eldrick Woods.

Roger Federer Between the Legs Shot Vs. Djokovic - For more funny movies, click here

Federer will face Rafael Nadal in Federer's 197th Grand Slam match. Nadal is also mathematically impressive.

There have been 48 rounds of French Open play since 2005, and Nadal is 43-1 over this span, good for 5 titles. Six of Federer's Grand Slam defeats were meted out by Nadal, five of them in finals play. By my count Nadal is 6-2 against Federer in major events. He holds the record for most consecutive clay court wins with 81; Guillermo Vilas is in second place with 53. To dispute Nadal's all-time supremacy on clay is to prove you are a dolt.



Perhaps the most compelling math in Nadal's favor on Sunday is his 4-0 record against Federer at Roland Garros. Three of these matches were the finals, including a straight-set win in 2008.


But I'm picking Federer to win. I dislike Nadal fan for reasons completely unrelated to his tennis. For example, Nadal wears capri pants and sleeveless shirts. He still lives, some might say oddly, at home with his mother. And I suspect that he gets is vitamin B12 shots from Miguel Tejada's pharmacist. His game is all power, spin, and footspeed, and he lacks the artistry of yesteryear that Federer has in spades and for which I pine wistfully.

I also think Federer's window for beating Nadal in this tournament is rapidly closing, and that it's tremendously important to Federer to go through Nadal to win a French Open. As it is, his lone French trophy has a massive asterisk dangling from it and I'm sure that pisses him off. This may in fact be his last opportunity to get an asterisk-free French championship and I expect him to play balls out. So I'm taking Federer. But I can't guarantee that he'll win.

I can, however, guarantee that Sunday's match will feature brilliant tennis because I will miss most if not all of it as I will be schlepping around New Jersey with the rest of the zteam looking for a new zhome before the imminent expiration of zlease. Hannibal had an easier time completing his elephantine Alpine episode than I do in getting zwoman out the door so I will have zero time to watch the match. But you, constant readers, should.