Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Know Your CFL Squadron

It's almost September, and while autumn's not exactly in the air, the sounds of pads popping and sights of middle-aged men in overtight Bike shorts are a sure signal of the coming season. As always, Team G:TB will be here to chronicle our national obsession with all things oblong and leather-bound (other than the ones hidden deep in the recesses of TR's closet - some things are far better left unexamined).

Today, in memory of Ted Kennedy and his dogged defense of the little guy, we look in a different direction. Friends, let's talk 110-yard fields, three downs to get 10 yards, and rouges. In the first (and possibly last) installment of Know Your CFL Squadron, we examine the fabled Montreal Alouettes.

What's an Alouette? I've wondered this nearly my entire life. I thought it was a made up word used to rhyme the French version of that children's song. Jaunty Alouetta, or something. As it turns out, an alouette is a skylark. In either case, not a terribly intimidating mascot. Though better than the original Montreal nickname, the Petit Fours.

Guys You Know on the Alouettes: Mark will be pleased to know that Chris Leak is drawing a professional paycheck, taking his questionable arm and mediocre overall game to Montreal to back up Anthony Calvillo. If you knew that Anthony Calvillo ranks 5th in all-time professional passing yards, you're a sick bastard. Leak's better off than Adrian McPherson, who not only has to listen to the former's taunts about Florida State's mediocrity, but also finds himself stuck on the Alouettes' Inactive List. Former West Virginia tailback Avon Cobourne totes the ball for the A's, while erstwhile Auburn Tiger Damon Duval handles the kicking and punting duties. I'm surprised that an Auburn grad was allowed to leave the country.

Why Alouettes Fans Love Bono: According to the impossibly accurate Wikipedia, the A's were down on their luck in the late 90s and on the verge of folding. They played their games at the cavernous Olympic Stadium before thousands of empty seats. When a playoff game the the BC Lions was scheduled in conflict with a U2 concert at Olympic Stadium, the Alouettes moved the contest to the much-smaller Molson Stadium. The ensuing sellout and raucous atmosphere revived the club's fortunes. As a result, the Alouettes now play all their games in the cozier venue, and play U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday before every home date. Odd, in a way, as Bono is a known hater of all things Canadian. Except backbacon.

2009 Outlook: The Alouettes are fresh off a Grey Cup loss to the Calgary Stampeders, and have opened the new campaign winning 7 of 8 games. So I guess it's not really an outlook, per se. More of a 'hey, how are the Alouettes doing so far?' sort of thing. Avon Cobourne is second in the CFL in rushing. I smell another Grey Cup in the offing.

37 comments:

rob said...

don't say you weren't warned: http://money.cnn.com/2009/08/25/news/companies/anheuser_busch/index.htm

rob said...

let's try this again: http://bit.ly/frogq

TR said...

Jeez, I get caught with a dildo in my closet ONE time in college and I still hear about it today...

MGL said...

All those nimrods bothered by the polytrumpets at the soccer matches awhile back never saw a Saskatchewan Roughriders game--where they were HUGE!

Sadly, the BC Lions invented The Wave.

/cflfantrivia /iampathetic

TJ said...

I enjoyed this way more than a normal person should...
http://tinyurl.com/mvkc4x

rob said...

you enjoyed it way more than a normal person *would*.

fixed.

Mark said...

I am officially fucking sick of the LLWS theme song...Walk tall, walk tall...

rob said...

are you badmouthing ziggy marley? are you? or is it rohan marley?

Mark said...

Wow...Rick Pitino is on tv throwing quite a hissy fit and passing an awful lot of blame to others for a guy who's done so many things wrong and hidden the truth from so many. For shit's sake, he brought up Ted Kennedy's passing in reference to why the most recent news about him breaking today was inappropriate. What an epically egotistical asshole.

Mark said...

Rohan Marley makes coffee now, so no (though I do partially blame him for making Lauryn Hill lose her shit). So, I guess I'm badmouthing Ziggy. I've seen him live, and believe me, he had it coming.

TJ said...

Teddy's rolling over in his watery grave.

Oh wait, that's Mary Jo Kopechne's grave. My bad.

TJ said...

That's right, I'm doing Chappaquiddick bits.

rob said...

sweet fancy fucking moses, teejay. what will the nuns say?

Mark said...

Honestly, didn't TJ far exceed the over/under on how long it would take him to drop a Ted Kennedy joke today?

rob said...

it's the irish solidarity. worth at least three hours of grace period.

Mark said...

Or he was out getting drunk.

Whitney said...

How old was TJ when Chappaquiddick happened? Negative 5?

I will say this. It's a sad day for fans of the Kennedy clan, but all things considered, how nice is it for them to bury one who died of natural causes at age 77?

TJ said...

No liquid lunch today, though it sounds like Rick Pitino could've used one...and this time Rick try not to fuck someone while at the restaurant.

TJ said...

I was negative seven actually.

rob said...

and by the butterfly-wing-flapping property, there's a pretty good chance that teddy's bad driving means that you're alive today to joke about it. have you thought of that, smartguy? hmmm?

rob said...

ashton kutcher has a movie he wants you to watch.

TJ said...

Why are you watching Ashton Kutcher movies?

rob said...

don't try to change the subject.

Mark said...

Ease up Ace and Gary...

Whitney said...

I see them as more of Wyatt and Gary.

TR said...

In case any of you are wondering how Eric Nies is doing these days, he's wandering the streets of midtown Manhattan dressed like Dan Cortese (complete with the headband and sleeveless t-shirt) and carrying a skateboard under one arm.

Mark said...

Who carries a skateboard on the street? What's the point of having it in your possession if its not being used as your mode of transportation?

rob said...

some questions are unanswerable, socrates.

TJ said...

That's Socrates Johnson to you buddy.

rob said...

theo epstein on jonathan papelbon (re: billy wagner):

[He] went out of his way to make sure Billy knew that he was more than welcome here ... I think Pap feels like he was misunderstood. He's not a Rhodes Scholar to begin with, obviously.

zoltan said...

Theo's quote got plenty of spins this morning. My favorite though was when Schilling was asked whether Papelbon could be a starter. Schilling explained that starters need to be crafty to a certain degree to outsmart the batter, and then said "He isn't exactly a member of MENSA."

TR said...

My $.02 on Nies and the board is that he doesn't know how to ride one, that he only carries it around to look cool.

He's a couple years older than me and grew up a couple towns away. He got busted dealing 'roids in high school. His entire high school wrestling team got busted for it. His town is full of predominantly Jewish, wannabe wealthy kids. It wasn't exactly a skating hotbed.

Mark said...

I have a pretty good Eric Nies story involving Mark Long ((blonde guy from Road Rules and all the challenges who was a friend of my sister's in high school), strippers, coke and impotency that I'll share with you guys via the email machine at some point tomorrow.

TJ said...

I hope Eddie Money is also involved...

Mark said...

You know what's one thing that's not getting old during this whole Brett Favre saga?

The video of him and the Viking/Biker/Mascot talking.

rob said...

dc united not carrying the flag all that impressively against toluca this evening.

/obscure soccer competition discussion

Shlara said...

Mark--you gotta add me to the circulation list for the Eric Neis email tomorrow...