Friday, February 06, 2009

Hey, it could be worse...

I was ginning this post up Wednesday, looking to make rob and the tens and tens of Tribe hoops fans forget about their woeful squad, when out of nowhere William and Mary goes and upsets CAA leader Northeastern at the Tribe Dome that night.

And look, I snooze, I looze.

Well rob, EAD and LMB, because I still have some pertinent content. The Tribe team sucks...bad...old man balls as some may say. And despite Wednesday night's fluke W, I still felt it my goal to make us feel better about our donkey low-major program. So, I dug up the winless conference programs* in the country, but let's be honest, they don't all make us feel better.

[*My delay in posting this also allowed Indiana to get off the schneid. The Hoosiers beat Iowa the other night for their first Big Ten win. Tom Crean's club, they are bad.]

DePaul is 8-15, 0-10 in the Big East. But it's the Big East. Not exactly the CAA. And they had my boy Sammy Mejia the last few years. Plus, their old coach is now at a hurting CAA program. Can you name him? And the school?

Winless big time conference teams 1, HaplessTribe 0

OK, let's try this again. Here's Georgia...you know, the program Jim Harrick treated like fresh meat at Oswald State Correctional Facility. They are 9-13, 0-7 in the SEC...but again, they're in the SEC. And have you been to Athens? Let's just say there is A LOT more to look at than in Williamsburg.

Winless big time conference teams 2, HaplessTribe 0

That smell you're picking up from the Pacific Northwest (nope, wrong skunky smell Mark) is the stink emanating from the Oregon Ducks 2008-2009 season. They're 6-16 on the year, and an abysmal 0-10 in Pac 10 play. They inch closer to making me feel better as a Tribe fan, but again, they're in the Pac 10...I'd rather watch UCLA trounce my team than a Georgia St or Towson.

Winless big time conference teams 3, HaplessTribe 0

Dammit, this whole thing is going down the drain...where are the first true "hey it could be worse..." comparisons?

Ah, let's go local. The George Washington Colonials are putting together a horrific season (6-13, 0-7 in conf). They've lost ten straight games, and their leading "scorer" averages 12 a game. See loyal Tribe followers, it really could be worse...

Never one to stop the momentum, we could also be stuck rooting for one of these two sad independents instead of the Tribe:
North Carolina Central, 2-23
N.J.I.T., 1-22
Wait a second. How the hell did NJIT actually get a win? That's a freakin' miracle.

Now onto the meat of the order. Hey, it could REALLY be worse...we could be fans of Southeast Missouri State. These poor guys are 0-12 in the middling Ohio Valley, 3-20 on the year. 12 losses in a row for SEMO. Looking at the sked, I'm not even sure where they will get a win the rest of the year. How does 3-27 sound (0-18 in league play), with a 19 game losing streak capping the year?

Air Force has completely fallen apart as well. Weren't these guys in the Dance the last few years? They still running that Princeton offense? If so, it doesn't appear to be working very well. These guys sit comfortably in the Mountain West cellar, 9-12 overall but 0-8 in conference play. So, we could be rooting for these guys...and have to be in the actual military. Thanks, I think I'll pass.

You like hippie crunchy granola uber liberals and the urban decay of Providence, RI? Well then Brown is for you...and you can have their winless hoops team as well. Sure, they've only played 4 Ivy League games so far, but they've dropped them all. I'll take our "public Ivy" over these clowns anyday, and that has nothing to do with me getting rejected by Brown.

And the "Hey it could be worse..." coup de grĂ¢ce:
Loyola Marymount of the WCC. 0-7 in the league, 1-22 overall. They're losing by 20+ a night. They have to listen to people ball wash Gonzaga all year long. Hank Gathers is rolling over in his grave. Bo Kimble too if he has recently passed on.

The Urkel photo? If you google "Hey it could be worse" this is the third pic.

6 comments:

rob said...

that hurting caa school beat the tribe once already this year with the rematch to come. sigh.

rob said...

the president was in williamsburg yesterday. funny how there's no footage of him scrimmaging with the tribe.

Mark said...

Pat Kennedy (Greg and I attended hi bball camp) and he's coaching at Towson now, no?

Mark said...

Bo Kimble's not dead. In fact, he just asked me for change on my way to grab a donut and a Mountain Dew this morning.

I told him that he could have a $1 but only because Heaven is a Playground (and all its shitty clips of George McCloud) was one of my go-to late night cable movies in high school.

rob said...

what a weird season for john pelphrey's boys in fayetteville. bigtime out of conference wins over oklahoma and texas (the sooners' only loss to date) and now 1-6 in the middling sec.

zoltan said...

TJ applied to Brown?