What hump?
It's a lovely humpday here at GTB...
Barry Bonds, you just don't know when to quit do you? The balloon-headed wonder feels we should all contribute more money to Katrina victims and spend less time wondering when exactly he started taking performance enhancing drugs (a chilled Bonds '86 anyone?)? Can we please get a VH1 reality show with Raffy and Barry visiting a different town each week, lying through their teeth while taking batting practice with local youths? Good work Nats fans too for booing that arrogant fuck...
Not good for the Nats, though, is their playoff outlook. Yep, that is indeed a giant fork sticking out of Joey Eischen's back. As if their struggles weren't bad enough, apparently we have some issues in the Nats locker room...
The Washington Nationals suspended a volunteer chaplain and distributed an apology from outfielder Ryan Church yesterday, two days after Church was quoted in a front-page Post article as suggesting that Jews are headed for eternal damnation.
You'd think the guy named Church would avoid stuff like this. I seriously cannot believe Frank Robinson's head hasn't exploded yet.
And for anyone out there looking for a career change, how would you like to JOIN THE MOST ELECTRIFYING COMPANY IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY TODAY!
Too much of a good thing? NEVER. Keep it coming VH1...I know Carrot Top and Yahoo Serious have their fingers crossed for Season 7...
NEW YORK, Sept. 20 -- Here's the story of seven celebrities who are moving on up to a de-luxe mansion in the Hollywood hills into television's most incredibly 'surreal' viewing experience. The mammoth sixth season cast of VH1's ratings juggernaut "The Surreal Life" includes the man who's band made Shrek rock, STEVE HARWELL of Smashmouth; the actor who made George Jefferson more famous than that other Jefferson, SHERMAN HEMSLEY; the original video vixen, TAWNY KITAEN; the wildest rock and roll axeman ever, C.C. DEVILLE from Poison; Playboy TV's covergirl, ANDREA LOWELL; and the XX and XY of the Arquette family, ALEXIS ARQUETTE.
And this season, SPECIAL GUEST STAR FLORENCE HENDERSON joins the show as the cast's full time and on-call therapist/advisor. Yes, America's number one television mom will take this wild bunch under her wing and help them through the strains of reality television.
Who writes these press releases? The guy who DIDN'T get the WWE job? C.C. Deville is the wildest rock and roll axeman ever? Really? And didn't Tawny Kitaen try to kill Chuck Finley last year?
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
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20 comments:
I could listen to C.C. DeVille talk about the heyday of Poison in that Brooklyn-toned Simpsons-Selma gruff voice for hours. It's ear candy, I tell you.
Ain't looking for nothin' but a good time...
Hey--what's with Ryan Church stealing Charlie Ward's bit?
And I have friends who work for WWE in Stamford--so be nice--remember those free tickets you got, Tommy?
He could've just picked on the Muslims instead of the Jews and become a redneck cult hero.
Hey, I'm giving the WWE people credit...I'm sure it's not easy to write a Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Custody story arc - it's the VH1 people who suck balls.
If that job didn't entail moving to Stamford, I would have seriously considered applying.
From the "You Can't Make This Shit Up" file, we just received an email right out of Office Space regarding tomorrow's retirement party:
"In the spirit of helping him get into a new mode of thinking that involves some prime relaxation, we're inviting everyone to wear a favorite Hawaiian shirt, grass skirt, or other island attire. Or, you can just grab a flower lei at the door.
See you on the roof.
Aloha!"
What's Houston's thanks for taking in thousands of New Orleans refugees? Getting fucking destroyed by what it now a Category 4 hurricane in Rita. They must be psyched.
One last thing on Raffy, pointed out by Buster Olney today...
The number of days we've waited for Raffy to tell his side of the story: 52 (and counting).
When you have an out as easy as "I didn't know," why would you ever come clean about taking steroids? Honestly, if you have the audacity to look the other way on fair play and the laws that govern us, you are never going to fess up if you don't have to. And in baseball, you don't.
If I got busted for a DUI and could actually be permitted to claim I mistakenly thought Long Island Iced Tea was just a new flavor by Tetley, I would. 100 times out of 100. Ask Thomas Hobbes -- you need to society to enforce good behavior -- man doesn't have it in him, despite what we'd all like to believe.
--"Leviathan" Lester
Florence Henderson is the Therapist? Correct me if I am wrong (which is quite likely) but wasn't she the mom from the Brady Bunch and wasn't she boinking her "son", Greg? And after that wasn't she the Wessonality Fried Chicken Lady for Wesson Oil? Now she's a therapist.
I'll take the rapist for $200.
I believe Flo and Barry Williams went on one date, kissed a little, and never experimented any further.
Technically, it's still Mr. Goldblum's board, but since he's a human wasteland, I'll let Mr. Connery pick again.
Randomly quoting something obscure we weren't even remotely talking about. That's the TJ Doyle I know.
Gracie knows exactly where I'm going with that...
I actually got Tajikistan's joke. Score one for me.
See, Geoff, there's this "sketch comedy" joke that airs on Saturday nights . . .
Happy Birthday wise ass.
Oh, I got the joke, I just couldn't detect any context.
Context is overrated.
Gracie offered the context. You know that Gracie, she offers context and more on a regular basis.
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